(Poem) summer

the feeling of summer—i miss it. that feeling

of warmth. the middle of july, the end
of spring.
summer.
i miss the warmth of summer.

people. so many people
smiling

bright, happy. so many eyes
on me. they’re waving to me. they’re enjoying
my company. they’re so happy
to see me.

but it doesn’t feel like summer. that
warmth. it doesn’t feel
like midday, like a
hot, summer blaze, a fun beach trip daze, like
a birthday cake
softly lit on the fifteenth of december.

there’s so many people. so many. i
should’ve felt warmer, happier. i should’ve been
smiling, but
all i feel is
this lonely desert sun—dry
as the hope i have left for others and
cold as the look i give them
because all I feel
is this sinking feeling
that this sunny, summer warmth won’t last
until winter.