The main event

Cindy began hyperventilating as she darted her eyes around the arena. "OI! WHAT YEAR IS IT!?"

"Uh, 2024?" Madoka nervously replied.

"MONTH AND DAY!"

"September 5th, 2024."

"What the hell is going on!? It was over 150 years in the future on the moon, yet only a few weeks have passed here on Earth!?"

Cindy's thoughts were interrupted by the ground yelling for her to get off the stage.

"Sorry miss, the entrance was grand, but we got a batsu to do. People wanna see this hot milf go bald," Harumi smirked as she flicked her hair.

That line immediately triggered Cindy causing her to leap down and land infront of Harumi.

"Sh- Shave all that hair off huh? You know I did that too."

"Really? Then where's the video?"

"On my channel, Cindy Cinders."

"Never heard of it... And it doesn't seem to exist."

"SOME FUCKING ELF DELETED IT!"

"Then you have no proof, now please step aside, or security-"

"I AIN'T GOING BACK TO PRISON!"

Cindy then charged at Harumi, however, Harumi dodged with ease, causing Cindy to go crashing into some chairs. She got up and went back for round 2 as some of the audience began chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!"

Meanwhile, a mysterious cloaked group began sneaking towards the stage.

"Hoh? And art thou my loyal followers?" Vermillion asked as she spotted the group.

The leader merely pulled out a round circular device and threw it at the stage. Despite it's small size, it made a loud CLANK, grabbing everyone's attention.

Madoka stared in terror at the device, but before she could say a word, a portal suddenly sprang forth from it and began sucking everyone in.

"NO FUCKING FAIR! I WAS GONNA INK MY BRAND ON MILFMILK!" Iori cried as she got sucked in.

"WAS THIS IN THE PROGRAM!?" Carol shouted as she too got sucked in.

"WHY DID I COME HERE WITH YOU TWO!?" Mimoko cried as she found herself getting sucked up as well.

Meanwhile, Serika was desperately trying to resist getting pulled in, however, Yuni suddenly began breathing heavily.

"Sorry Onee-chan, I'm out of stamina."

"YUNI!"

As Yuni began flying towards the portal, Serika fogoed her own safety and leaped towards her, managing to grab hold of her little sister, but still ending up getting sucked into the portal with her.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?" Madoka cried as she leapt in the portal after them.

"MADO-CHAN! YOU CAN'T- AHH!" Emeri cried as she lost her grip and got sucked into the portal.

"EMERI! MADOKA!" Harumi cried out.

"Oi, don't forget about ME, BITCH!" Cindy shouted as she tackled Harumi, sending them both flying into the portal.

"Ahahaha! Splendid! You have done well my servants!" Vermillion exclaimed as she rode Fetish man into the portal.

Despite a majority of the arena's occupants having been sucked into the portal, the portal showed no signs of closing, in fact it seemed to be getting bigger in order to suck up every last person in the arena.

"ASTRID! DID YOU PLAN THIS!?" Leona shouted.

"NO! I HAVE NO IDEEEEEEEEEA!" Astrid shouted as she and Leona got sucked into the portal.

"AH FUCK! Everyone's getting sucked up!" Kumi shouted as she zapped around the room in lightning form.

Now there was no one left aside from the mysterious cloaked figures, and Sakura who appeared to have planted herself into the ground while holding a young man in her arms.

"No Sakura! Don't turn back into a tree!" Vinny cried.

"I'm not! I'm just planting my roots, but it does cause a-"

RUMBLE!

"BIT OF A STRAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!" Sakura cried as the ground uprooted sending her and Vinny into the portal.

"ALL RIGHT CREEPS! YOUR TURN!" Kumi shouted as she charged for the cloaked figures.

However, the cloaked figures then began heading for the portal themselves, with the portal appearing to be shrinking.

"AH FUCK! I'M NOT GETTING LEFT BEHIND!" Kumi shouted as she quickly launched a bolt of lightning at the floor and charged torwards the portal as fast as she could, just barely getting inside before it closed.

"Alright, we got catering so come on- huh?"

Rika Ryono, the owner of Ryokoma and the Ryokoma arena, stared in shock as she entered the arena.

"Uh, hello! Anyone here!?"

Hearing no reply, Rika cautiously entered and made her way to the stage, there in the ground she saw a message left by Kumi.

"'Everyone kidnapped'!? The hell's going on!?"

...

In a quiet American home in a parallel world, a cute Japanese girl, named Nina, stared in bewilderment as she watched a live stream of Streama Festivalen.

"Johan! JOHAN! Did you see the special effects!? Everyone got sucked up into a portal!"

"Yes, it certainly looks like the organizers planned something big this year," a man named Johan replied.

"They better feature loads of Benny Beansoup, hell have them do a Labor Day skit even though Labor Day's already passed!"

"Better, have him do it with Beans and Valentino."

"Who?"

Johan pulled up pictures of the two in question, causing Nina to stare in confusion. "Uh, that's just Benny Beansoup."

"Exactly, both those guys look and sound just like him."

"Are they his twins?"

"No clue."

As Johan and Nina settled down on the couch, a message popped up on the TV.

"'Streama festivalen sweepstakes'?"

Nina naturally clicked on the message, however doing so caused a portal to open up and suck her and Johan in.

Hearing a noise, Johan's mother opened the door only to find the room empty, causing her to shrug and close the door.

...

Iori screamed as she found herself flying through the air, hurdling towards a grassy hill below. "I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE! WHERE'S MY ISEKAI BUFFS!?"

As the ground grew closer and closer, she suddenly remembered the ninja training she had received and kicked the air, however, her momentum suddenly ceased, and she found herself spinning around in mid air before falling to the ground with a thud.

"Ugh, well that's one way. Now where the hell am I?" she grumbled as she pulled out her WWCF card.

"Huh? Is that a status menu?" a voice asked.

Iori turned and screamed as she found Kumi standing right behind her. "The hell did you come from!?"

"I got first, bitch."

"Huh?"

"I was last one in the portal, but thanks to my lightning speed, I zapped ahead of everyone and reached this place first. So 2nd place, how'd ya get the menu?"

"It's a WWCF card."

"WWCF?"

"World Wide Chess Federation."

"Never played chess, but Jouzu probably has."

"Who's that?"

"My husband."

"WAIT, YOU'RE MARRIED!?"

"And in a harem."

Iori whistled before pulling up her WWCF card again. "Huh, says I got no wi-fi. Anyway, you said you were 1st, so I guess that means the others are coming soon- Uhp, right on que. Hey make sure to catch Cece-chan, alright?"

As the portal reappeared in the sky, Iori and Kumi prepared for Carol to come out, however the one that came out was not Carol but...

"HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA DIE!" Leona shouted as she hurdled towards the ground.

Kumi quickly turned into lightning and flew into the air to catch her, and safely brought her to the ground.

"So how do I do that?" Iori glared.

"I got my powers from Jouzu. You don't have your own powers?" Kumi asked.

"Well guess I do."

"WAIT do we get powers!? Is this like an RPG!?" Leona asked.

Before anyone could reply, the portal opened once more. This time, Madoka came flying out. However, she managed to get to the ground safely on her own by sky hopping.

"Have any of you seen Yuni and Serika!?"

"Who?"

Madoka quickly described what Yuni and Serika looked like to Leona and Iori, causing Iori to realize they were the ones she had seen earlier before the event began.

"That green-haired bitch wanted to slug Mimo-chan! AH! Any of you see Mimo-chan and Cece-chan!?"

Everyone shook their head, no.

"Guess this means no one saw Astrid either. Hmm, I wonder if Mukuro got caught up in this," Leona sighed.

"Muku-who?"

"Ah, Crowboy, my husband."

"Sheesh, you're married too!?"

"I'm actually married too," Madoka smiled.

"TO WHO!?"

"Hi-mi-tsu."

"Wait, Himitsu as in "secret" or Himitsu as in Mimo-chan's mom?"

"Wait, WHAT!? I'm not married to your friend's mom!"

"Just thought I'd crack the joke."

Suddenly, the portal opened up once more, however this time, all 12 cloaked figures emerged.

"Great, we gotta go 4v12 WERE GONNA GET FUCKING STEAMROLLED!" Iori fumed.

One of the figures immediately threw off his cloak, to reveal himself as a skeleton clad in imperial German military attire from the 1900s. Everyone gazed up in terror at him, however, none seemed to recognize him.

"Oi, why'd ya throw the cloak off?" one of the cloaked figures asked.

"It was in the way. I need my pray to see me to feel true fear," the skeleton replied as he pulled a circular device, similar to the one that had been used before, out of his pocket.

"Just so you know, we can't summon the Ultima-master here, so "killing yourself" will only leave you without a DESPER."

The skeleton snarled and put his DESPER away.

"Need not fear. Red Reaper, use the power of this JESPER as a spare," another cloaked figure stated as they procured a device that looked just like the device used to summon the portal.

"So can we summon portals with that, nya?" another cloaked figure asked.

"No, that was a special JESPER. Now, we should divvy up the prey," the first cloaked figure to speak, nodded.

"Then I shall take them all," the apparent leader of the group stated as he stepped forward. "You... I know you all. Do you... recognize me?"

The girls all shook their heads as they could not recognize the man by his voice, nor any of the others that had spoken by their voices either.

"Then allow me to give you a hint..."

Everyone went silent as music began to play. However, none of the girls recognized the tune.

"So, do you recognize me?"

"Yeah no, just throw off the cloak," Iori glared.

"I cannot... However, the hint isn't over yet..."

"What do you mean?"

Iori got her answer as the music suddenly changed and the man began singing.

"YO YOI! I am the greatest criminal from the depths of Edo. The great daimyo of organized crime. Everyone fears my name! For every atrocity, I have attained! Murder! Kidnapping! Drug Smuggling! None can match my Might! Theft! Assault! War Crimes! All now fear my wrath! With my evil ninjitsu I will conquer all that’s good. They say Jesters are the fools, WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW DUMBASS! Lalalalalala! Jester-sama is the evil, dastardly, wicked, inhumane, dark ninjutsu daimyo! Oh oh oh oh! Yooooooo!”

"Buwahahaha! Surprise bitches!" Jester cackled as he threw off his cloak.

"Ah FUCK it's HIM!" Iori, Madoka, and Kumi all groaned in unison.

Leona meanwhile was the only one out of the loop. "Wait... WHO THE FUCK IS HE!?"