Chapter 24 I'm terrified of losing her, like I lost Kaka. I couldn’t lose her. Not now, not after everything.

As we finally reached the small cavehole, Lyn turned to me with a tired smile, her golden eyes soft but laced with exhaustion.

 "Here... this should do for now. Small, but cozy enough. We can rest..."

 Her voice trailed off, her sentence unfinished as her body suddenly tensed, and before I could even react, she began to glow faintly.

It was a dim, otherworldly light that surrounded her body, making her already striking form look even more ethereal. But then - before my very eyes - her shape began to change. The tall, lithe cat-girl I had been following, the one who had saved me from the Flesh Golem, started shrinking. Her body collapsed inward, becoming smaller and smaller until there was no longer a cat-girl standing before me, but a regular-sized cat, lying limp on the forest floor.

“L-Lyn!” I croaked, panic gripping my chest like a vice. 

Her humanoid form was completely gone, replaced by the sleek, furred body of a feline, her slim leather armor hanging loosely around her in a pile, her sword discarded to the side. Her fainted form lay still on the ground, her small chest barely rising with each labored breath. She had passed out, her transformation undone.

My nut-sized goblin brain kicked into overdrive, every thought racing a mile a minute. What just happened? Was she alright? How could I help her? For a moment, I was frozen in place, staring dumbly at her unconscious cat form. My whole life, I had been trained to think of myself as worthless, a slave, incapable of doing anything heroic or useful. But now, I was faced with a person who had treated me kindly, the one who had saved my life. And now, she needed my help.

I gulped, trying to steady my shaking hands.

 "What do I do, what do I do..." I muttered to myself, pacing nervously. Her small, delicate body looked so fragile, and I felt completely helpless. But I couldn’t just leave her there.

“Alright… alright, Hermit, you can do this,” I whispered to myself, steeling my nerves.

 I crouched down and gingerly scooped her up in my arms. Thankfully, her shrunken cat form was light - so light, in fact, that I could actually carry her. My arms trembled as I cradled her against my chest, careful not to jostle her too much. Her fur was soft, warm, but she felt so weak.

The entrance to the cave was small - much too small for me to carry her through without some effort. I had to crawl in first, awkwardly maneuvering my own body inside before dragging her limp form in after me. The tightness of the entrance made it hard to squeeze through, and I cursed under my breath as I struggled to pull her through without hurting her.

Finally, we made it inside. The small cavern was surprisingly cozy, illuminated by the dim, bluish glow of some mushrooms that grew on the walls. The room was just big enough for me to stand up, but the ceiling was low enough that my head scraped it if I wasn’t careful. It wasn’t wide either - perhaps just enough space to cram in a few goblins at most - but right now, it felt like a sanctuary.

I quickly looked around, scanning for anything soft. 

"Moss!"

In one corner of the cave, there was a patch of thick, cushiony moss. My heart leaped with relief, and I hurried over to it, gently laying Lyn down on the soft moss bed. Her tiny body looked so vulnerable, so fragile against the earthy backdrop.

I crouched beside her, staring down at her, feeling utterly helpless. What should I do now? Was she going to be alright? The panic returned, twisting in my gut as I tried to think of something - anything - that would help.

"Lyn?" I whispered, my voice trembling. She didn't respond. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow but steady. At least she was still alive, but I had no idea how to help her recover. My hands hovered above her, unsure of what to do next.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, my mind spinning in circles.

 "Think, Hermit, think! You're not useless! Think what Kaka would do!"

 I gritted my teeth and looked around the small cave again, desperate for something that could help. The glowing mushrooms offered little light, there were no herbs or water sources in sight. The fear that she might not wake up gnawed at me.

I sat down beside her, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to calm my racing heart. I had felt responsible for her, so… terrified of losing her, like I lost Kaka. I knew well what it felt like to lose a friend. To worry about their well-being.

I couldn’t lose her. Not now, not after everything. I didn’t even care that she was a cat at the moment - she was still Lyn, still the one who had saved me, who had shown me kindness and friendship. I owed her everything.

I watched over her for what felt like hours, though it was probably only a few minutes. My thoughts raced, bouncing between fear and anxiety. I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit here and wait for her to wake up on her own.

With a sudden burst of energy, I stood up, glancing back at the cave entrance. Maybe I could find something outside that would help. Some berries, herbs, or water. Anything. My body trembled with both fear and drive. I wasn’t sure if I could help, but I had to try. Lyn had saved me; now it was my turn to save her.

My eyes darted around the cave before I scrambled toward the entrance. Water. I need to find water first. My legs, though weak and shaky, carried me outside, my head whipping left and right to make sure no predators were lurking nearby. The last thing I needed was another monster creeping up on us. Thankfully, the forest was quiet, unnervingly so, but I took it as a blessing for now.

I scurried through the underbrush, the damp mossy ground wet under my bare feet, a sign that water was nearby. My breaths came in short, frantic bursts as I searched. I crouched by a small, trickling stream I had stumbled across, dipping my large, meaty goblin ears into the cool water. They filled up like little buckets, the liquid sloshing as I carefully stood, trying not to spill too much as I waddled awkwardly back to the cave.

Back inside, I gently emptied the water into a tiny hole I had dug in the cave's dirt lining, reinforcing it with broad leaves I had scavenged to create a makeshift basin. It wasn’t much - just a shallow puddle but it was better than nothing. 

Lyn lay still on the moss, her small chest rising and falling faintly. I glanced at her, my heart sinking further with every breath she took, so shallow and weak. The glowing mushrooms cast a soft blue light over her delicate feline form, making her seem even more fragile.

Water wasn’t enough. She needs food.

With no time to waste, I darted back outside, my eyes constantly flicking toward the shadows, searching for any sign of danger. The forest was a nightmare of hidden threats, but luck seemed to be on my side for now. No predators stalked me as I scavenged, picking through the forest floor like the wretched goblin I was. I clawed at the dirt, digging up small mushrooms and grabbing handfuls of berries that grew on low, twisted vines.

They weren’t much - only a couple of handfuls - but they were precious. I stuffed them into my mouth for safekeeping, holding them like a squirrel with its cheeks full. My hands shook as I gathered every bit I could, my mind racing with the fear that it wouldn’t be enough. It never was enough.

I darted back to the cave, feeling the weight of the forest’s oppressive silence bearing down on me. Inside, I spat out the berries onto a large leaf and placed the mushrooms beside them. They weren’t much, but they were all I could find.

I crouched beside Lyn, my heart heavy as I stared down at her tiny, unconscious form. What else can I do? I wanted to do something about the cave entrance, but fear clenched its icy grip around my chest, too tight to allow me to venture further out into the forest to gather materials. My eyes flicked nervously toward the small hole leading outside. It was too exposed, too open, but I was paralyzed by the thought of leaving her alone to search for branches or stones to block it.

And then I saw it.

Lyn’s rapier, gleaming faintly in the dim light, discarded beside her pile of leather armor. The sight of it sent a wave of dread crashing over me.

A weapon.

My stomach churned, and my hands trembled as I reached for it. My fingers hovered above the hilt, shaking violently. I didn’t want to touch it. Goblins like me - goblin slaves - we weren’t supposed to hold weapons. We were supposed to be afraid of them. They were tools of violence, of pain. In my world, weapons only brought suffering. They were what the masters used to punish us, to make us bleed, cry and suffer.

But what choice did I have?

My hands twitched as I grasped the hilt, my body convulsing in disgust and terror. The cold metal sent shivers down my spine as if I were gripping a live flame. I wanted to drop it, throw it away, to shout at it, and never touch it again, but I couldn’t. I had to protect her. Lyn was precious, just like Kaka was - she showed me kindness and called me a friend.

If I had to hold this instrument of death to keep her safe, then so be it.

I lifted the rapier, its polished steel gleaming in the dim light. It felt alien in my hands, far too heavy for something so slim. My arms shook as I held it out in front of me, the blade trembling in the air. I stared at it, my heart pounding in my chest, my stomach twisting into knots. I had never held a weapon before, never even imagined it. For a goblin like me, violence was something to fear, something to run from. I just wanted to be happy, to live peacefully, to be friends with everyone.

But the reality was different. The reality was cruel.

Tears stung my eyes as I stared at the blade. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to fight. But I had no choice. If I wanted to protect what was precious to me, I had to be willing to do the unthinkable.

I clutched the rapier tightly, trying to steady my shaking hands. I stood guard at the entrance of the cave, every sound outside sending a jolt of terror through my body. My heart pounded in my chest, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t afford to be weak now. I couldn't protect Kaka when he needed me the most but I vow to protect Lyn no matter what.