The Stream of Ego

White.

Surrounded by a colorless world, Xess finds himself standing in the middle of nothingness. No sound. No smell. No sensation on the "ground" he stands on. He does not remember how he got here; he simply became aware of his current state and nothing more. He looks around to understand the place he is in, but there does not seem to be anything to see.

Confused, Xess wonders, "Where am I?" He turns around and sees a red line far away, but he cannot seem to make out what it is. He decides to walk towards it, his steps silent. It feels like he is walking on sand, yet, all these sensations seem familiar to Xess. The confusion stems from the endless white and empty environment he finds himself in. After a long walk, he reaches his destination.

"What is this place?" Xess mutters.

He runs into what looks to be a large, scarlet lake that stretches from "end" to "end". He looks to all sides and does not see a way to cross it on either side, "It is endless. I can't cross to the other side without getting into it."

As Xess says these words, a male voice is heard on the other side of the lake.

"Don't get ahead of yourself."

Alerted, as soon as he hears the voice, Xess notices there is someone sitting down exactly in front of him on the other side of the lake. Xess is sure that individual was not there before. The person is completely covered in a black robe, preventing Xess from seeing any specific features. The distance between the two is about 100 feet, yet, he can hear the strange man speak.

"That which lies in front is no ordinary lake. You would be wise to stay away from it" the man speaks once again.

"Who are you?", Xess asks.

"Hmm... right. I guess 'Ego' would be appropriate, then."

Xess remains silent.

Ego continues, "Tell me, do you remember... anything?" Ego reassures him before allowing Xess to reply back, "Do not fear, as it is important to understand why you are 'here'."

Confused, Xess repeats, "'Here'...?"

Ego's voice is extremely calm. Xess does not feel any sort of animosity from him. In fact, it could be said that Xess feels some sort of strange familiarity when listening to Ego. The mysterious man continues to speak.

"You are in the middle of Dreamtraining. The reason you don't remember this place nor how you got here is simply because this is your first time."

"Training? What for? What the hell are you talking about?" Xess asks in some panic.

"Let's see... can you tell me anything about yourself?” Ego responds.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I can" Xess replies confidently.

"Really? How old are you?" Ego inquires.

With a faint smile, Xess answers, "Are you serious? I'm... I am... I..."

Ego remains silent as Xess starts to struggle to remember his age. Xess quickly grabs the side of his head as if trying to remember. "I am... I... How can I not know?"

"Let's try something else... Name?"

Confused, Xess responds, "What? My name...? Well, my name is... My name... that's..."

Coming down from his head, Xess grabs his chest. A clear sign he is starting to feel uncomfortable with his lack of recollection.

Ego reassures him again, "Do not panic. This is by design."

"What... What is this place?", betrayed by the anxiety in his voice, Xess asks the same question from earlier. Ego, still sitting down, raises his left hand and points to his head as he answers Xess's question, "All of this is happening inside your brain."

A silent Xess listens closely.

"Like I said, the reason you are here is because you have unlocked Dreamtraining. Your physical body is somewhere unconscious. The reason you unlocked it was because prior to you going unconscious you were exposed to an extreme situation in which you had no choice but to evolve... and managed to survive it," says Ego as he drops left hand, "the mind is a double-edge sword for its wielder as it is both the most dangerous and most powerful resource mankind has to offer. If you master it, the body will follow suit. Hence, to accelerate the growth derived from such a critical situation, you have been given a way to grasp the benefits eons faster. Thousands of generations' worth of development seized within your own lifetime."

Ego's words leave Xess completely perplexed. From within, he wrestles his own denial of his current situation. As no words are further spoken, the white world feels like a coffin to Xess's idea to leave. Was all of this true? Xess feels he has no choice but to believe the individual in front of him. As if trying to convince himself, he turns and scans the world around him. "Nothing" is ever so present in this colorless realm. Was this really a dream? How could it feel so real? Barring the lack of physical transparency, Xess finds no reason to distrust the words of Ego. After all, no real world could look like this. He has no recollection of his real life, but his instinct tells him this is not what he would call "real". Struggling internally to maintain some sort of sanity, he then proceeds to look at the one thing that does have some color: the scarlet lake dividing them.

"Sit down, there are things you need to be aware of" Ego instructs in a serious manner.

Xess has found no words to resist. He proceeds to sit down while resting his right hand on top of his bended right knee. Ego speaks once again.

"The number of times you end up in "here" will depend on the "you" that rests in the outside world. When... and if... you come back, you would have remembered everything that transpired here. The Dreamtraining. The Stream. Me." Ego continues after a brief pause, "However, when you do regain consciousness "out there" you will lose any recollection of this place."

"Just like a dream," Xess mutters.

"Indeed. But," Ego raises his right index finger as he says this word, "your physical body "outside" will remember."

"... How so?" A confused Xess seems to be caught off guard by this latest detail.

Ego closes his right fist as he continues, "I guess the best way to put it would be... your body would have evolved as a result of Dreamtraining."

"In what sense?"

"No one knows. Every human being is unique. It will be up to you to discover that on your own. After all, if you are "here" it means you are in an environment where you will most likely have no choice but to do so" Ego explains.

"Are you implying that I'm being experimented on?"

Ego does not answer.

"If what you are saying is true, then what point is there for me to even be "here"? If I am not going to remember anything, why would I need to be in this place?" Xess questions, losing his cool.

Again, Ego does not answer.

During this short silence the stream starts to move slightly, as if it was just hit by a small rock creating a ripple throughout it. Xess notices that Ego is glaring back at him. He cannot make out the individual's face, but he can clearly feel the glare.

"Before your arrival, this stream was larger. The distance between you and I would have been far greater," Ego explains, "as this stream holds the key to your own evolution. As you progress, the distance between you and I will get shorter" Ego continues.

"And what will happen then?"

"We will find out... if you get here" Ego replies, evading the question.

"Tch..." Xess slightly shaking his head in disbelief.

Ego proceeds to comment on Xess's question from earlier, "You wanted to know the point of you being "here", right?"

"I want to know many things" Xess answers sarcastically, feeling he cannot force the individual to answer. Ego seems to ignore his comment.

"The only way to progress with the Dreamtraining... thus, having a chance to wake up on the other side... is to go through The Immersion" Ego explains.

"What are you going on about now?"

"I do apologize, but this is all you are allowed to know... for now" Ego responds. "It is time. Step into the stream."

Suddenly, the entire scarlet lake rises violently like a fountain, creating a huge wall between Xess and Ego. Xess stands up and stares at the wall trying to figure out what had caused this. In an instant, he has lost sight of Ego. With no one to interact with anymore, Xess speaks to himself.

"Something is not right. How is all this even possible? I've never had a dream where I've felt," he looks at both his hands as if examining his own body, "... this aware."

After carefully examining the rising lake, he approaches it to the point where he stands inches away from it. From here, he can feel the force coming from the rising stream. He can even see a faint reflection of his face.

"Is that... me?"

Alerted by the nature of this instinctive question, Xess stares at the stream in total distrust. He slowly inserts his left hand into the lake, muttering to himself, "What choice do I have?" After convincing himself, he steps inside the red stream and disappears. As soon as he does, the lake quiets down once again and returns to its initial place.

Ego stays on his side of the lake, sitting, motionless.

...

...

...

Xess feels like he is sinking at an extremely slow pace with a sensation of pressure pushing every inch of his body. He feels extremely numb, as he slowly opens his eyes and finds himself in absolute darkness.

"Where... am I?" he faintly asks.

The only thing Xess can feel is that he keeps sinking in a very deep, pitch-black environment. His body feels like it is asleep while his mind is conscious.

"Am I... dead?" he wonders faintly.

After what feels like an eternity for him, he starts seeing several images flashing in front of him. It is very hard for him to make out what they are, as the images alternate and appear for only a second. Large eyes. Homicidal eyes. Large hands. Large bodies. Uneven broken bodies. Some female. Some male. Yet, none of these appear to be human. The images do not make any sense at all. For Xess, it feels like a hallucination. Nevertheless, an extreme awareness of fear is born within him. He cannot understand the reason. The fear is so strong that his chest starts to hurt.

"Is this... anxiety... I am feeling?" He wonders while still sinking when, abruptly, the images stop appearing. Pitch-black darkness returns to the dense field. Yet, Xess does not lose his fear at all. Then, he hears it.

A viscous and extremely threatening voice starts to speak.

'Many lifetimes ago... humanity fulfilled its purpose.'

'Their world was of use no longer.'

'Yet, on a whim, it was recalled amidst its pieces.'

'At the edge of a borrowed time... humanity longs for closure.'

...

'Answer!!!!'

...

'What is your role in humanity's extinction?'

...

"... My ...... role?" Xess asks, terrified of the voice.

As he keeps falling, a dim light can be seen at the "bottom" of this vast darkness. Xess's numbness prevents him from being able to properly discern the source. However, he seems to be "falling" towards it, albeit at an extremely slow pace. His fear and anxiety grow ever so slightly as he continues to fall. Finally, just when he starts to feel like this is an endless nightmare, something happens.

"My role is..."

...

...

...

Chapter 04 - The Stream of Ego: END

to be continued...