The Mind

𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘥. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥...

April 22, 2020

I wanted to kill but I am such a coward to do so. I hate this place. I hate this city. Scums all over the place. Which I cannot stand these faces. Every day I woke up and go to work and feel nothing. God help us all. I used to pray every night.

April 23, 2020

Violent urges are controlling my mind. I need to fight back. But I can't. Maybe I am too coward too to get arrested. I fucking hate the police they are scum. They are useless to these bad people. I met a drug addict late at night. He whistled at me. I wish I could run yet still I needed to kill him.

April 25, 2020

I am not feeling very well. They laugh at me because of how I looked. I wanted to stab each of them. I am too much of a weak to do so. I seek God and pray to him. I raise my hand at night and feel the wind going at my direction. There are bad people staring at me every day. Most of them are tattooed and thin and evil glare. I don't-

 May 2, 2020

I cut my hair differently. My eyes has gone worse. Those sleepless nights. I cannot resist but to drink alcohol late at night. There must be some way out of here. I use drugs but not often.

May 7, 2020

I often forgot how I managed to keep a normal mental mind. I refused to take the medication but somehow I do take them. I hate crying but I do it alone. There must be another way to kill this pain. I've been repeating words and words so I don't know. I stopped education to ease my-

May 8, 2020

These people are scaring me.

May 12, 2020

I've been obsessed with a girl. I saw her and makes me smile. The last time we talked to each other she smiled at me and came closer.

June 1, 2020

I am going to write often now. I forgot my diary existed and found this at my cabinet. I sure hope nobody would see this. If so then this will be how I am remembered.

June 2, 2020

Mother I am deeply sorry for my actions and I hope you can forgive me for what I've done. I don't care if people laughed at you. I am still here to protect you no matter what happens to us. As for you my father thank you for working hard for us. I wish you could forgive-

June 3, 2020

I am not really good at writing. Why would I just write every day.

June 10, 2020