3.3 The Last Survivor

Kaz was the last survivor.

Right?

Why did Kaz believe them, then? Why did he want to believe them?

***

Two-Rabbit announced, "The leader has fallen."

Mish agreed. "Yup. Kaz got bonked."

That couldn't possibly be true, so Cérise disregarded this.

The armored archer, Vit, let out a sigh. "About time. How's everyone holding up? How many bandits are left?"

Right?

"Five left," said Mish.

Or was it true? Did he want it to be true?

"Great. Sounds doable. Guard, swordman, let's go."

Mish and Two-Rabbit followed.

"...you two can tag along too, I suppose."

Only as they headed towards their next objective did the guard—the kid Cérise had used as bait earlier—talk to him again. Cérise had correctly assumed the kid would be fine given the musclehead mercenaries' weird ethical code, but he hadn't expected him to join them. Oh, well. "Good afternoon," Pluie told him. "I hold no ill will against you for leaving me behind, but I have a favor to ask."

When they'd first spotted those two before, Cérise had feebly attempted to avoid detection, but Two-Rabbit stumbled on a microbe and rolled over to them, and then the rest was history. Fortunately, the bespectabled archer was the least unhinged of the trio, so he just kind of agreed to travel together, even though he clearly recognized Mish and Cérise.

"Do you think you could convince your leader to let me join?" Asked Pluie.

Now, the hard part would be to—that. To keep Akiha from asking the trio to join once they inevitably reunited. Pluie was fine, though, Cérise supposed... "What about your job?"

"Oh, there's a special permit for these kinds of things. For overlords and stuff. It'll be fine."

Cérise had always kind of wondered how guards who abandoned their outposts to defeat (actual) evil didn't get fired. Well, there lay the answer. Did those who returned after vanquishing continental threats get a promotion, a badge, or even a bonus? Unlikely, but they probably got an extra slice of cake during work celebrations or something. "I'll ask," said Cérise. "He'll say yes."

Pluie grinned, though he bit it back for some reason.

Anyway, they walked.Vit wasn't a fool. He seemed well aware that the more they rested, the more time the enemy faction had to recover. Those 'five' could double in number soon. Of course, while healing magic would never work as well as a proper medical visit, it'd suffice to get adrenaline-addled bandits back on the field. Vit knew that—that real combat wasn't a one and done thing. To be around someone with basic common sense was refreshing; too bad Cérise wanted nothing to do with those three. Especially the leader.

In any case, Vit's stupid friends and Akiha could've bonked Kaz and all, but they certainly hadn't defeated him. Not them. Not possible.

Basic stuff, common sense: Vit avoided fighting multiple enemies at once, using only one weapon, or underestimating his foe. Pluie, meanwhile, did literally everything wrong, but it was clear that he was following some sort of handbook. He'd probably been a honor student at the military academy. Those tended to die quickly.

One of the yurts had two bandits ambushing them. They weren't trying to kill, however, just to buy some time. Basic stuff. Common sense. These bandits were fools; one of them was clearly more skilled than the other one, and so he tried to take on Pluie and Cérise at once while the other once sparred against Vit. However, Mish and Two-Rabbit staying behind didn't mean that their arms would suddenly fall off if they fought, and Mish being Mish jumped towards him as though she herself were the weapon. Since said bandit had only two arms, he couldn't block the strike.

With one down, the other one surrendered. She dropped her lance, kneeling, hands in the air. Their overall plan was apparently still in action, as she didn't seem too bothered by this.

Mish began: "Do you really think we'll show mercy, fool? Because—" And then Cérise shoved a plum into her mouth to shut her up.

"Where's the girl?" Cérise asked the bandit.

"What girl?"

So then Cérise shoved a plum into her mouth, too. There were a bunch of them lying around, which meant Kaz's yurt had to be close. From the corners of his eyes, he caught Two-Rabbit picking some of them up, then bagging them. "Hey, swordman," Vit said, "If you want to get her to talk, isn't that counterproductive?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

The girl spat it, and spat at them. She missed. She reached for her lance, which Cérise punted off her grasp by hitting the joints of her fingers, because reflexes. "Not even an interrogation?" Pressed Vit. "A little torture?"

"Those things don't work. She'll lie."

"And it's illegal," said Two-Rabbit.

From the way Vit nodded, it was clear that he, too, found common sense refreshing. "Right. Very nice. By the way, once we meet Svart and Val, you and the catgirl should—"

"Not a cat."

"—hide. Svart could see you two fighting these people and still think you're one of them."

"Not a cat," repeated Mish.

"Yeah. Sorry. Anyway, three left, right? Can you guys locate them?"

"Only if you apologize for calling me a cat."

"Can you locate them?" Vit asked Two-Rabbit.

"I can," said Two-Rabbit.

"Much obliged."

"But I won't."

"What."

"I don't condone racism."

Notably irritated, Vit went back to Mish. "I'm sorry for calling you a cat. Where are the other three?"

Mish made a show of checking her nails, blowing upon them, to then inspect them again, until finally she glanced at him as though he were a bug. All the while, her tail swished. Aggressively so. "Hidden," she replied.

"No shit. Where?"

Cérise had no time for this. The last notable event had been a sparkly, multicolor explosion a few yurts away, probably due to Akiha and Vit's friends fighting Kaz. Cérise and Vit's not friends had been methodically hunting down bandits, leaving them unconscious and tied up in clusters for easier recollection once reinforcements arrived. Like crops.

And yet, while they'd almost circled the oasis, there were still no traces of Snail.

"Leave them," said Cérise. "There's something we need to find first."

"The girl?" Asked Vit.

"Snail. Yes."

The unskilled bandit and her unconscious companion had been tied together, too. By Pluie. Or Two-Rabbit. Didn't matter. "You won't find her," she said, almost mockingly. "And if you do, you won't like what you see."

But she was wrong. Kaz was one of those weirdos who believed in the power of friendship. He wouldn't hurt...

...unless...

...unless he'd somehow realized that Snail had been an accomplice.

How, though?

Not only had he somehow survived, but he'd also somehow stayed conscious during the whole ordeal? Lucid enough to see Snail? None of it made any sense. And if somehow this were to be true, then Snail being Snail wouldn't tell Kaz that she couldn't have known what would happen, because she had just mindlessly followed orders, the way she'd been conditioned to do by the Wraiths. Snail being Snail would just endure whatever happened to her while blaming herself for it.

"Mish," said Cérise. "Two-Rabbit. Demolish all yurts, until we find her."

The bandit thrashed against the ties. "Seriously!? It's the biggest one, you dimwits! Do you people know how hard it is to build these!?"

By the time she finished the sentence, Cérise was already out.

"Hey, swordsman!" Called out Vit. "Svart is close! Be careful! If he sees—hey!"

The amount of plums increased as Cérise approached the biggest yurt, which added credence to the bandit's words. Not only that, but the temperature dropped—suspiciously so. Vit and Pluie and Mish and Two-Rabbit followed, but he couldn't care less.

Another sparkly, multicolor explosion made the world around him rattle. He stumbled, though he didn't fall. Frost creeped through the sand, crackling, as a giant spike towered above Kaz's yurt. Akiha's doing, probably. What was it with foreigners and defaulting to ice magic in a desert? Stupid.

Speaking of stupid—Kaz's yurt. He'd left it open, because of course he had, and even if he hadn't, Cérise would've told Mish to hurl a Two-Rabbit cannonball at it. With the icy, sandy gusts swirling around, he could no longer see them, and they could no longer see him. It took a moment to steady himself. Before the dust settled, Cérise skidded his way into the yurt.

It was dark.

It was warm.

It was silent.

"Snail?"

Animal hide was great at insulation.

"Nope."

It'd been one thing to hear Kaz hollering from a distance, but the dark, warm, silent world they were in turned his voice into a spike. He shut the yurt close, too.

"She's dead."

And precisely because of this, Cérise couldn't think, so he said, "Shut up, she's not."

To which Kaz responded, "You're S, right?"

To which Cérise had no option but to reach for the mark on his arm. He hated magic, but to choose the alternative would be foolish. He'd have to resort to one of Luke's protection spells.

"Answer me. Actually, don't. I'm pretty sure it's you."

"You sound hurt," said Cérise. Due to Luke's spell, his voice was distorted.

"I'll live."

Kaz had a spell like that, too, but he'd never used it. He also hated magic. In his case, he'd never had a reason to hide his face, anyway.

"Come on, talk. Say something. 'Hey, Kazeem, I'm sorry for killing everyone'. That would be nice. You should say that."

"Where's Snail?" Asked Cérise.

"Dead."

"I know you're hurt. You don't want to fight me."

"And you're not? Please. Please."

"Less than you."

Kaz burst out laughing. Cérise looked around, as though it'd help. Too dark. Too silent.

"Oh, by the way, don't think this was a trap or anything. I really mean it. It's my tent, in case you didn't know, so I was, well. Resting here. I heard you and your friends captured mine, though, so I was thinking of making a deal."

Kaz paced somewhere behind Cérise, far enough that he'd slash at air instead of flesh if he tried to be reckless. Because both of them were hurt, and both of them knew what the other could do, neither approached the other.

"Obviously, I didn't know it was you you. I thought you'd killed yourself after cruelly assassinating our friends, because that's what you told Snail you'd do, but nope. Here you are, trying to do the same again. And for what? But I'm digressing. Let's make the deal."

"Stop trying to be K," Cérise told him.

"Huh?"

"The way you talk. Stop. You're not him."

"Really now... not everything is about K. If you're still so obsessed with him, why did you kill him?"

"If you're trying to provoke me, it's not working," said Cérise.

"Nah. Or maybe? I mean, I would've thought your personality would be more than 'K's puppet' by now, but apparently that's not the case. Again, though, we're digressing. I could use Snail as a bargaining chip or torture her since she basically helped you commit a massacre, but I'm a changed man, you see."

"Great. So where is she?"

"Also, why Snail? Are you guilty about killing her parents or something? Nah. But anyway, here's the deal: I turn myself in and give Snail back to you, and in return, you'll spare my friends."

Apparently, one of the only things in common Kaz and Cérise had aside from being scumbags was how they'd vastly overestimated each other's strength. If Kaz had actually been beaten by Akiha and the muscleheads, then his abilities had, too, decayed.

"There's a big price on my head, so. It'll be better than killing everyone."

"How did you even get hurt?" Cérise asked.

"Eh. You know. Dumb mistakes. I didn't expect the mage to be that strong. Deal or no deal? I'll kill myself if you don't say yes and then you'll get no bounty and I won't tell you where Snail is and nobody else knows where she is so you'll never be able to find her."

"You're lying."

"Nope. I got nothing to lose at this point. I've already died twice. Not that you'd get it."

"Get what?"

"Love."

It was Cérise's turned to laugh. Kaz was too stunned to react, which made sense, since it was the first time he heard this. "Kazeem, you sell people for a living."

No response.

"But, yes, I'll humor you. I won't harm your friends."

"Uh. Um. Thank you."

He would, however, hand them over to the guards.