Escaping

Every time I heard my footsteps it was like if an elephant was walking in front of me, the echo of the basement makes everything so loud that I needed to cover my ears to be able to get down, but even with that, I could hear everything that I made closer, my heart, my breathing, and my own footsteps.

Alternating between not hearing the echo or not hearing myself was a tough decision, but was awful, and the more I got down, the more desperate I became.

—Were these stairs always this goddamn long? —I whisper.

Footstep by footstep, and nothing more, that was all until the end, I saw the box in the middle and opened it, just to stare at it, scratching my head.

—Why did I get down here?

I hold my head and start scratching it, scratching and scratching, hitting and hitting, punching it and punching it until I put both hands on my face and sat on the floor.

—Why did I get down here?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Stupid memory! Can’t you remember something that simple?! For the love of!... DAMMIT!

I kicked the box and all the cleaning materials went flying across the floor, I leaned on the wall and started thinking.

—Yeah, the main lobby and the basement are clean… What area is next? The bathroom? The rooms? Now that I think about it, I haven’t cleaned any rooms, I need the broom and the mop to do it… I’ll just… go in a second… in any second…

I close my eyes for a few seconds and get up immediately.

—Huh? Who did I get here? Did I walk asleep?

I saw the box and all the cleaning materials on the floor, I scratched my head and started picking it up. I tried to lift the box but it was too heavy, my arms were struggling and trembling with just a few seconds of holding the box in my arms.

I left the box and went upstairs, I could see the lights and hear the sound of the candles melting, I was walking with my eyes closed and before I noticed, I was leaning on the wall again, I started to drag myself on the stairs like if I was a cat or a dog, I didn’t want to use my legs but neither my arms, it feels like an eternity just to get a few steps up.

Eventually I pull enough force in me to get up and start walking again, I want get out of this basement, I didn’t want to be recluse of light, I wanted to eat something, I wanted to rest in something, the stairs were too uncomfortable for it to lay down, my back would hurt and probably develop scoliosis, so I keep climbing the stairs.

There were moments where I couldn’t see anything, just black, and I was climbing again in the stairs, there was nothing to worry about it, until I find myself looking directly at the floor of the basement, my head was on the edge of the stairs, and my body was safe, I open my eyes and started screaming.

I didn’t want to fall, and I would not fall since my body was on the safe side, but my reaction was abnormal. Why did I react so late to this? I couldn’t move my body but my screams wouldn’t stop, it wasn’t my body reacting, hitting the wall, that I would stop screaming, looking up at the rest of the stairs that were left to finally leave the basement.

Breathing in and out, it was all I could do, just relax for the moment that it felt like a possible fall to my end, I get up again without leaving the wall and look up with my eyes closed, I wanted a moment of peace, but I wouldn’t feel safe until I left this place.

—Come on, Vincent… you can do this… just a few steps more… and you would get out….

My voice was trembling too, all I could possibly do was give myself motivation, in moments like this the only thing that you can do is trust in yourself.

—If you don’t trust yourself here… huh... nobody is going to try to rescue you… nobody is here after all… just me… yeah just me…

Breathing from my mouth was getting me more exhausted, I was starting to feel thirsty, my lips were dry along with my throat, I couldn't scream, I didn’t have the energy to do it, but I really wanted to. There were no stringers to hold so when I was getting tired, I just hit the stairs that I was on with my hands.

The floor was getting wet from my sweat, the sweat of my hands and the one that were down from my face, as I was breathing from my mouth a few drops of sweat were down to my lips, I try to wet them since I didn’t have a lot of saliva, I cough, play with my lips with the few liquids a could produce and get up one more time.

I was getting close, I could already see the exit, I wanted to run but I couldn’t, and my face couldn’t make a proper smile, not only for the exhaustion but for the fact that I wanted to break crying.

—Is right there, Vincent, hold it a little bit more…

I reach the door and left the basement with one hand covering me from the bright of the sun, I was flabbergasted, making a dumb poker face for a minute straight just to lay down on the floor slowly as a few tears were down to my chicks, I hug my legs and lower my face to them.

—Finally, finally… dammit… sorry… sorry…

It was probably midday by now, I didn’t want to get up off the floor, keeping myself in fetal position, trying to get at least some rest or at least a few moments of peace