The Truth. The Whole Truth (1)

Justine~~ Sunday morning, 8:03 am – Killer Wind’s Headquarters.

It had been nine days since the group had broken apart. If we could still even call it a group... I reconsidered the situation once again, with a hint of irritation.

Damn it, Aurora! I gave you a chance, just one! Why won’t you listen to me?

I had a hunch letting the kid go on a mission unsupervised was a terrible idea. Now that I thought about it, that little brat had timed her mess-up perfectly. With her, nothing was left to chance: she took advantage of me being distracted by the multi-taskers workers to push me into negligence!

Did she think she could just get rid of me whenever she pleased?! My hand tightened painfully around the handle of the pan. I refused to lose control of the organization a second time. I refused to lose anyone. But no matter how much my worry gnawed at me, Aurora kept slipping away from me. Soon, I would have no authority over her, and it was entirely my fault.

Had I raised her well enough? Did she understand everything I had done for her? Would she decide to become independent like every child who reached adulthood? Would she have regrets when she left home? Maybe I deserved to end up all alone...

I wasn’t a good mother. No good mother would encourage her child to take up a path of murder. I had made her a monster in service of the greater good, but nothing guaranteed she would stay on that path for the rest of her life. All I could do was hope I hadn’t been too bad of a mother.

The crackling of the oil beneath the eggs reminded me of the sound of flames. Flames that never went out. A fire of anger and regret. I always dreamed of the same forest disappearing under a rain of ashes.

“Justine! It’s burning!”

The recruit’s voice made me jump. It was then that I realized thick smoke was rising from my pan, and the fried eggs had turned black.

“Oh no!”

In a rush, I cast a spell. Water shot from my hand, smothering the small flames forming in the pan. Uh… I even had forgotten to use incantation sand...

This can’t go on. Even though she’s family, I won’t let her sink the organization.

Frustrated, I tossed the eggs after mopping up all the water. I hated waste, especially when it came to food. Growing a vegetable, raising livestock, mining for ore... honest workers slaved away to produce all these riches, so the least we could do was consume them with respect.

Facing Edwoyn again, I forced myself to smile to keep my frustration in check, “Sorry, you’re gonna have to skip this one... How about some candied truffles instead?”

The kid accepted with understanding. Unlike the rest of the nobles, he was never picky. I didn’t know if he cooperated willingly or for his own survival, but all his compliments overflowed with sincerity. If only Aurora could make the effort to thank me just once... Instead, she openly insulted me with every one of her actions.

I had agreed to ease up a little while the tension between her and Edwoyn settled, but at this rate, their petty squabble was never going to end. Hiding away in the workshop wasn’t going to solve anything, quite the opposite.

Weren’t we past these childish games? If she thought I was going to solve the problem for her, she was dead wrong. All the time I spent training the prince was time lost from completing missions. She could make me wait, but not the clients.

Go ahead, Aurora, everything you're making me lose, I'm going to deduct it from your pay. I'm far too nice. I really don't know what's holding me back, right here, right now. I should start by getting rid of your little "special" experiment. You're lucky I don't have the heart to kill an innocent...

The kid didn’t deserve to pay for the broken dishes. It was obvious he had nothing to do with this mess. He was just trying to protect himself. But what had Aurora done to make him resent her so much? Just hearing her name was enough to make Edwoyn's face darken and lock himself in silence.

Aurora had isolated herself in the past to the point of not knowing how to maintain normal relationships. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to this poor kid. He had already lost so much... I didn’t have all the keys to untangle the situation, but there was one that could help Edwoyn see more clearly. The question was whether he would be able to handle the truth.

"Everything seemed so simple before..." I sighed, sliding the plate of truffles under the nose of the hungry kid.

~~~~

Under a bright sun, I had invited Edwoyn to tend to the rose bushes in the garden in front of the house. The task was simple: get rid of the wilted flowers and cumbersome branches.

Freed from these dead weights, the plant could focus all its energy on blooming. However, you can imagine I hadn’t called him here for a good time. I was following the advice of an old friend: "When you've got something delicate to announce, make sure there's enough space to digest it." What better place than the outdoors to digest something delicate?

Wearing rubber gloves, we snipped away under the heavy heat. Edwoyn was focused on his task, but he lacked finesse: if his clothes weren’t getting caught in the thorns, he was smearing dirt on his face trying to wipe his sweat.

As for me, despite pretending to be carefree, I couldn’t help but worry: should I wait until he was tired to make sure he stayed? What could I do to make it seem natural? How would he react when he discovered everything was my fault? After a good fifteen minutes, I gave up thinking and decided to follow my instincts. Aurora had never been honest with him. Betting on the opposite would work in my favour.

I knew Aurora better than anyone. She would never go back on her word, even if she was wrong. It was a matter of pride. Waiting for her to be the first to apologize was a lost cause. I could always try to intervene, but forcing things would only worsen their relationship. Therefore, the only cog capable of unsticking the machine was Edwoyn.

In all honesty, the kid was right to resist her. The second he gave in, Aurora would assume she could get away with anything because he hadn’t set firm enough boundaries. That would mean sacrificing him for the sake of the organization, but frankly, I didn’t care: this kid wasn’t family. In my eyes, he would never be part of the Killer Wind, no matter how many rituals he passed.

We are united in our misery; a noble’s son will never understand.

And yet, I was about to try to make him understand Aurora’s misery. It certainly wouldn’t elicit his empathy, but if he knew the truth, he... he... I lost myself in thought.

I didn’t even know what to expect from him anymore. Would he agree to give in, understanding my desperation? Edwoyn wasn’t a miracle worker, and yet I was placing the fate of the organization in his hands.

"Have you ever wondered why Aurora is so... different?" I begun.

Eyes of bright innocence latched onto my lips. I continued trimming as if I hadn’t noticed. Of course, he’d asked himself that question thousands of times. Of course, he wanted to hear the answer.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You’ve seen her true colours on a mission, haven’t you? To be honest with you, she scares me a little too. When I look at her, I don’t feel like she’s alive."

Aurora killed with the same indifference as if I’d asked her to chop vegetables for a stew. Of all the murderers I had encountered in my career, none could claim that death didn’t affect them in one way or another. But as for my partner, I had come to wonder if the thought of losing me would trouble her at all... Was there anything stopping her from killing me with her own hands the day she no longer wanted me?

"Do you say that because she’s not human?"

On the verge of cutting yet another stem, the jaw of my little shears froze, “Oh, my little Edwoyn, it ain’t the species that makes humanity. If you only knew, sometimes it's better not to be human when you see what they're capable of. But I get why you're asking that. Indeed, she’s painfully lacking in humanity for a human. Still, I refuse to believe she’s a bad person. Aurora has always meant well.”

“She’s been trying to destroy me from day one. You call that ‘meaning well’?” the boy retorted indignantly.

With my arms tangled in the rosebushes, I tilted my head to the side to give him an incredulous look, “If she really wanted to destroy you, believe me, you’d have been dead ages ago! Do you know what that means? She disobeyed orders to spare you.”

“I don’t see why that’s so significant. It happens to disagree with orders, especially when it comes to taking a life.”

I cut through his preconceptions with a sharp reply, “The Aurora I know never disobeys. She has no sense of justice. If she only kills criminals, it’s because I taught her that. But for you… She did it on her own. And she told me it was because she found your situation unfair. I don’t know what you did, but it changed her.”

"I have no reason to kill him. He hasn’t committed any crime yet, and he’s not responsible for his family’s actions, nor for being born an heir. You don’t choose your circumstances—no one knows that better than you." I remembered her words.

I never thought Aurora would say something like that to me. Honestly, I still haven’t come to terms with her words… After years of watching her, I’d convinced myself she was just afraid of getting attached to anyone.

I figured that with time, the issue would resolve itself, and I’d be the first person she’d let into her heart. But, as surprising as it was, she chose to get closer to a complete stranger rather than open up to me. Aurora saw something ‘special’ in him. That must’ve been what saved his life, whatever it meant. Could it be related to his magical malfunction? His royal blood…?

“So what is she trying to do with me, then? Why go to such lengths to manipulate me and make me suffer as much as possible? Why does she want me to dirty my hands so badly?”

I’d love to know what’s going on in her head too!

“I suppose she’s trying to communicate what she feels… by making you experience the same thing?”

Edwoyn, arms crossed, rejected the idea outright.

“I’m sorry, kid, it’s my fault, I tried to backtrack. I should’ve given her more love, taught her better respect...”

“At this point, I don’t think it would’ve made much difference...”

Unable to contradict him, I took refuge in work, not wanting to make things worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him sip from his water bottle, then swat away the insects buzzing around us, clearly stalling for time.

“So, what you’re trying to tell me,” he resumed, “is that she wants a friend who understands her? And to bring us closer, she wants to destroy me as much as she’s destroyed?”

“I can’t say for sure, but to me, that’s the most logical explanation.”

“That’s way too... twisted. That’s definitely not how you make friends.”

You don’t have to tell me. But you can’t expect someone who’s never lived in society to understand its rules.

“Aurora’s never had friends; she only has me. She doesn’t show it, but she must suffer a lot from the loneliness.”

“What, you think that makes her some kind of poor little girl?” he snapped. “I don’t have any friends either, but that didn’t stop me from having common sense! No one would accept becoming her friend by force. And definitely not out of pity.”

“Put yourself in her shoes for five minutes: people spend their time rejecting anything different. They can’t look beyond appearances. What would you do if everyone was afraid of you? If you couldn’t take the loneliness they imposed on you like a punishment?”

Edwoyn seemed to already have his own opinion on the matter. He didn’t hesitate for a second, “I’d start by stopping hurting those who didn’t ask for it. Because right now, all Aurora’s doing is proving them right! You want things to get better, madam? Tell her to start by apologizing to me. And even then, it’ll take a lot more than that to fix all the damage she’s done to me.”

At the mere mention of their conflict, the prince curled up on the towel I had spread out on the grass. I felt guilty for being the cause of his discomfort.

I’d seen how my partner treated him. I knew it wasn’t right, but we each had a right to our privacy, and that freedom was more important than the feelings of a stranger. To save face, I gave him the apology Aurora should’ve given him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I didn’t know she was treating you so badly. I put her in charge of training you because she needed to take responsibility for dragging you into the organization without consulting me. I didn’t want it to end like this...”

“Then fix it, he ordered me coldly. You’re her superior, am I wrong? If she cares so much about earning my sympathy, she’ll make an effort.”

I sighed despite myself. I had made the unfortunate mistake of letting this problem fester over the years until it had grown into something far beyond my control.

The Killer Wind was an organization on paper, but in practice, we acted more like a family. I didn’t like the idea of using my authority as a leader to control her actions, though sometimes, I had no other choice. I should’ve known that a troubled child like her needed more structure to learn respect.

“I haven’t been able to reason with her since you arrived. It pains me to admit it, but your presence has broken the balance between us. There's no trust, no communication anymore. You still have influence over her. You’re the only one who can fix this. Please, Edwoyn, do something…”

“No way. I won’t give her the satisfaction. Not after what she did. She started this, after all…”

Grow up already! I’m tired of your childish nonsense—I’m not some diplomat, damn it!

“You’re not the only ones in this mess!” I snapped. “Because of you two, I can’t do my job, and my job, Edwoyn, is to help people in need. You’re stopping me from saving lives, for crying out loud!”

My outburst shook the teenager more than I’d anticipated. The words had just slipped out. Realizing I shouldn’t have said them, I covered my mouth. To my dismay, I could read the consequences of my actions on his face. My honesty had rattled him to the point where he struggled to find his words.

His shocked expression morphed into a chasm of disappointment. Even though I didn’t care about this kid or what he thought of me, seeing the loss of his innocence twisted my heart. He had the carefree youth I had always been denied. Even though I didn’t know him well, I silently wished he wouldn’t end up like me—broken.

“This isn’t my problem, Justine. Believe me, I’m just as troubled by it as you are,” Edwoyn grumbled. “For one, I never asked to join your organization. I’m not the one who signed up to save lives, so stop right there. I’m done letting anyone tell me what to do.”

It wasn’t great news for my plans, but I was still glad to see him standing his ground.

You’re getting it now, don’t let anyone push you around. No one’s better suited than you to decide your own future.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to force anything on you… I understand you’re fed up with her. That’s your right, but I’d like you to hear the whole story before making up your mind. Aurora behaves very differently when you’re around.”

“That’s just to manipulate me, I figured that out already. She’s not fooling me anymore. I know enough: she’s toxic. She’ll end up killing me! Honestly, I don’t know how you all put up with her…”

All my muscles tensed. It was hard to hear someone criticize the child you’d raised your entire life. A part of me wanted to defend Aurora’s image with everything I had, but I silenced it quickly.

From his perspective, I could understand why he saw her in such a negative light. But he didn’t know the most important part—why Aurora was more human than any of us.

Once I told him everything, he would regret judging her so quickly.

“No, you don’t know anything,” I growled through gritted teeth. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t think that.”

“Pfft... Stop making excuses for her. Only a monster could do what she does without any remorse.”

Shame washed over me. I stood abruptly, unable to endure another insult. It was just like a noble to spout such nonsense!

What do you know about her feelings? You’ve known her for a few weeks and already have the nerve to call her ‘a monster’?

“You’re wrong! If there’s a monster here, it’s me and no one else! It’s my fault she lost her humanity…”

“Aurora is an adult now; she acts of her own free will.”

The prince stood as well, ready for confrontation. He might have tried to glare at me with all his might, but his scrawny build wasn’t going to intimidate me.

“She’s only seventeen! At your age, you think you know everything about the world and have your life under control, but you’re still under the influence of adults. You’re too caught up in it to realize.”

“I’ll give you that,” he admitted after a few seconds of reflection.

We both sat back down in agreement. I adjusted the straw hat on my head and returned to work. Edwoyn did the same with his gloves, and an unbearable silence settled around us.

“If that’s the case, I have a question for you,” the boy suddenly declared.

I turned to him, my gaze heavy with regret.

“All along, if you knew she was unstable, why recruit her? What were you thinking, putting a dagger in a child’s hands, for heaven’s sake?”

“She insisted on following me,” I defended myself. “I didn’t object because she needed to find answers. No matter what path she chose, I promised to accept her. It was either that or let her wither away like a living corpse.”

My explanation left him perplexed. His white eyebrows furrowed as I presented my dilemma.

“Aurora is… a living corpse?”

“Not literally!” I chuckled before resuming a darker tone. “But you’re not far off: in reality, it’s almost the same. She was meant to die. I managed to save her, but she lost… let’s say, a few feathers in the process. Yes, part of her died that day. I don’t know much about her life before, but I’m sure she had a pure heart.”

Edwoyn’s naivety was truly unsettling. I couldn’t help but feel softened by his childlike demeanour. This wasn’t at all how I’d imagined the son of the great Robert Gasencourt. How unpredictable life could be!

“Wait. Aurora’s not your child? What do you mean by ‘saving’ her?”

We were finally getting to it—the infamous chapter of tragedy. What a shitty life…

“The first time I met Aurora was on a mission. Back then, I was part of a different organization the Killer Wind, a guild which doesn’t exist anymore. Our orders were to eliminate a group of arms traffickers during their general meeting. Small problem: they had prohibited weapons, and twelve years ago, that was a brand-new concept we knew nothing about. Our client knew but didn’t bother warning us, and that landed us in a hell of a mess!”

Just thinking about it made my stomach twist. Madness lurked in the shadows, waiting silently, never taking its eyes off me... Waiting for the right moment to consume me, just like it had consumed those who should have died with their comrades. My breathing quickened; the air burned my lungs with every inhale. When had the air become so suffocating?

An exit, an exit, I need to find an…

“What was Aurora doing with arms traffickers?”

I forced myself to stay calm, gripping a handful of prickly branches as tightly as I could. My wide-brimmed hat was tilted just low enough to hide my discomfort from him.

“I never found out. I suppose she was the child of one of them.”

“Aurora never told you?”

“Not a word. Then again, I wouldn’t exactly shout from the rooftops that I’m the daughter of a criminal.”

I finally tossed the pile of twigs into the half-filled basket. There was a faint rustling sound as they landed. Responding to him was becoming increasingly difficult. I drank, hoping to wash away the terrible dryness that crept through me. Did he notice the flush spreading across my cheeks?

No, Justine. You won’t move until you’ve finished what you started.

“And that mission you mentioned—what happened?”

My gaze drifted to the rose petals. They were so beautiful, yet with the slightest breeze, they flew away one by one until the heart of the flower was left alone and vulnerable.

“It was ugly. Everyone killed each other.”

I pruned every rose that showed a defect, cutting their heads off without hesitation to make way for full, rounded blooms like puffy skirts. I couldn’t stand the sight of the bare stems. It reminded me of how much I missed those petals, petals that would never grow back.

“Because of the prohibited weapons? Is that what you meant when you said their power causes massacres like a Devourer?”

“I’m afraid so…”

“I don’t understand—how can they be so deadly? What makes them different from other magical weapons? Is it because they turn people into monsters?”

Flashes of silver-haired figures with glowing eyes in the dark invaded my mind. Their grotesque, magic-saturated bodies lunged at me. Their twisted smiles chilled my blood. I almost stumbled backward. In the blink of an eye, they were gone, but I could still picture their eyes in place of the flowers.

“They grant power. Too much power. And yeah, they create damn monsters,” I murmured as if it were dangerous to speak it aloud. “As soon as you use one of those cursed things, their power consumes you, and you lose your mind. You can’t tell friend from foe anymore. Unfortunately, the traffickers used them to defend against our attack.”

My shock must have been contagious; the boy’s pruning shears slipped from his grasp. They fell into the basket like an unwanted surprise.

“But that’s suicide!”

“I think they didn’t know the true power of those weapons themselves. They were just selling them, after all.”

“So… you and Aurora were the only survivors?”

Edwoyn’s voice became quieter and quieter. The emotion I had to swallow after every word made it harder to keep speaking.

“Yes. I couldn’t save my team. Aurora would’ve died too, if not for…”

I gently patted the back of my neck. A thin, ancient scar ran along it, a cursed reminder of what I’d sacrificed.

“That’s where you saved her?”

“She was just a kid back then. I didn’t have a choice but to protect her.”

Edwoyn stood still, staring at me. This time, though, there was no sign of judgment on his face—only compassion.

“Have you never thought of holding the clients who betrayed you accountable?”

“Oh, believe me, I do blame them! But hunting for scapegoats won't change the past. The real culprits are the ones who created those cursed weapons. Problem is, we’ve got no way to trace them anymore. Shortly after the incident, your grandfather came to power and banned those weapons. The few that were still around were confiscated and destroyed. So, we went back to business as usual until Aurora discovered that new weapons had resurfaced on the market, like magic,” I snapped my fingers.

“Why keep being mercenaries if you’ve already lost everything because of a mission? You could open a restaurant with your cooking skills. Those prohibited weapons aren’t your concern anymore...”

I handed the shears to the kid, but just as I was about to let go, I refused to let him walk away, “Edwoyn, I’ll let you in on something: once you’re on this path, you’ve got to solve the problems. You can’t just close your eyes to this massive pile of crap dragging us all down like quicksand. Call it whatever you want: conservative customs, injustice, corruption, discrimination... The only way out is to put some order in this mess, or the vicious cycle will never end.”

“Is that why you can’t walk away?”

Edwoyn was finally able to take what I was holding hostage.

“It’s not that I’m stuck in the past, it’s that we don’t want what happened to us to happen to other innocent people. We want to live in a better world and finally have peace of mind. You get that?”

“What you’re describing is the role of a ruler. You’ve suffered enough already. If you help me ascend to the throne, I could solve all these problems, and you’d no longer have to risk your life!”

This little ambitious prince wasn’t going to change the world by carrying all its burdens alone.

Why do you think kings always work with a government, kid?

“It’s up to all Asyrians to change Asyria. It wouldn’t mean anything if you did it for them.”

I gave a quick tug on a stem, snapping off the wilted rose. Before tossing it into the basket, I peeled away its petals to reveal its core.

“It has to come from us.” I continued. “Besides, a king has to stay clean because he sets the example. That’s why we exist, us, the ones working in the shadows. You can’t clean up a rotten society without getting your hands dirty.”

“I see what you’re trying to do, but I’m sorry, I can never accept that way of thinking,” he confessed, pulling off his gloves. “You don’t clean anything by spilling blood. As long as you operate this way, as long as Aurora wants to solve everything with violence, you won’t go on missions anymore. Promise me you’ll stop killing, and I’ll help you rebuild the Killer Wind.”

“I can’t promise you that. Reality isn’t that simple.”

“Then don’t expect anything from me. I’ve set my conditions.”

This kid could be resolute when he wanted to be! At that moment, I could almost mistake him for his father. I was actually surprised he didn’t resemble him more. Hadn’t he been raised in his image?

“Alright, I won’t ask anything more of you. But before that, one last thing: please don’t hold it against Aurora for being who she is. She’s holding on the best she can, you know. She’s just like us, exactly like all of us: lost. “You’ll only know her true intentions by watching her actions.”

His face darkened as soon as my partner's name came up again. He might not have realized it, but we all had something to gain from this internal war ending, him included.

Relieved to finally have gotten the weight off my chest, the knot of fear that had settled in my stomach began to fade. I didn’t have to blame myself anymore when it came to him, because I’d done everything within my power. The rest would be up to him. Now all that was left was to wait and see what he’d do with my advice.

It didn’t take long for me to notice his gaze locking onto mine, seeking approval. Edwoyn thought you returned gloves the way you returned an apron. He was truly adorable when he showed himself so well-mannered, addressing me with all the restraint he could muster... I didn’t feel like holding him back any longer.

“You can take a break if you want, I’m going to keep going for a bit.”

The kid scratched his head nervously.

“Yeah, I think I’ll head out. I... I need to think. Thanks for telling me the truth. The whole truth.”

Contrary to what one might think, the most beautiful flowers didn’t come from seeds that were strictly selected. In truth, it all came down to care.

Love them like your own children, and one day, they’ll return your love a hundredfold.