Strife

OCTOBER 20TH, 2006

CALGARY

          Ellis awoke with a start.

It seemed he had fallen asleep at the kitchen table without realizing it. Blinking his eyes, he tried to recall the strange dream he had.

He had dreamed of being on a tall, severe cliff that overlooked a dark sea. Then there was a beach, and there had been a familiar face in the dream as well, but the more he tried to remember the more it escaped him.

          It was a face he had seen, but never met.

Though the contents of the dream eluded him, a faint sense of horror clung to him even as he now stood up, shaking sleep off of him and meandering to the digital clock on the oven to check the time.

          It was three minutes to midnight. He recalled coming home after meeting… that individual at Dragon River, and he must have come into the kitchen to fix lunch, but somehow ended up drifting off for the rest of the day. What a waste of time, he thought.

Ellis tried again to recall the contents of the dream. The only thing he was able to decide upon was that though he awoke with a sensation of terror, it was a good dream. He felt as if something heavy had been lifted from him.

He milled about in the kitchen for a while, not feeling tired enough to go to bed. 

          A beach, and a sea, and a stranger… or could it have been two strangers? Though I only saw one other person there… He mulled over the sweet nightmare he’d had.

Then, a rustling from down the hall, and Ellis was brought back to real life.

          A break-in? he thought, grabbing his sword from where it lay haphazardly on the floor, not at all in its right place (though he was not at all in the right mind coming home), and with it in hand, he ventured down the hall cautiously.

          He stopped in front of Phoebe’s room. He could hear movement - the interloper must be inside.

Ellis opened the door, sword ready to strike, and he came face to face with his little sister, sitting upright in bed with the covers flung to the floor.

          Her eyes went wide at the sight of her brother, standing there, wielding a sword, and Ellis thought that he must still be dreaming, that such miracles could only occur in the World of Dreams, surely…

          “Ellis, you…” Phoebe choked out, as if she’d forgotten how to speak, but at the sound of her voice and the sight of her awake, Ellis rushed to embrace her, dropping his sword to the floor with a hollow clatter, and the two held each other for what was either a mere moment or eternity.

Ellis still couldn’t believe his eyes as they talked with each other and tried to make up for lost time. Though she was awake now, Phoebe was still frail - she had always been sickly throughout her childhood, and had to take occasional breaks to lie down once more. Ellis watched her carefully, fearful she would fall into that seemingly eternal sleep again. 

          Then, Phoebe grew silent.

“What’s wrong? Are you still feeling unwell…” Light was beginning to seep through the curtains even though they were always drawn. Ellis walked to the window and for the first time in a long time, opened the thick drapes to let in the morning light.

“It seems like it’s already morning… Are you feeling hungry? I can fix us something to eat.”

Phoebe didn’t respond. Her eyes were fixed on the sword that lay abandoned on the floor.

          “Ellis… I’m sorry that I left you all alone, after…”

Ellis sat by her on the bed. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.” He stroked her head affectionately. “Nothing’s your fault, Phoebe”

          “But… I want to tell you something, though you probably won’t believe me…” She trailed off, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.

“What is it?” Ellis searched her expression. She seemed to be thinking of something far away…

          “Last night, you dreamt of a beach with a sea filled with ghosts, didn’t you? And… I was there too. It’s hard to explain… but I asked Kiya for a favor, you see… in your dream. Because that place that you were dreaming of… someone told me it was the World of the Dead.”

          At the mention of that name - “Kiya”, Ellis’s blood ran cold.

“Phoebe? What are you talking about? Where did you hear that name, ‘Kiya’?”

          Though they had talked for a while about everything Phoebe had missed and what Ellis had been doing, he had conveniently left out the details of his “night job”.

“I’m really telling the truth, so please believe me…” Phoebe clutched the edge of the blanket tightly. “Do you believe in those kinds of things? Ghosts, and, well… I’ve been ‘sleeping’, but I’ve really been dreaming, Ellis, and I dreamt that I was in that place, the World of the Dead. There was a man there, sort of resembling a crow, and he told me that you would pass through eventually. I knew I had to wait for you there, you see, because he said there was something wrong with your soul, and that soon you’d start slipping loose from the World of the Living… I waited for so long that I think I began to forget who I was. And I guess in the real world, here,” Phoebe poked the bed with her index finger, “I was sleeping, and for a long time, wasn’t I?”

          Ellis’s mind raced. “I believe you, of course, but…” He trailed off. “That man… he said my soul would slip loose?”

          “Yes… your nightmare last night-” 

“Wasn’t a nightmare at all, you mean?”

          Phoebe nodded, looking away. “Kiya passes through there frequently. The World of the Dead, I mean. I don’t know why. But the first time he came, I thought he was you. I called out to him.”

Ellis frowned. “Oh, so that’s how you…” Putting the Kiya question aside for a moment, Ellis tried to rationalize what Phoebe was now telling him.

          “And I thought he was you, cause your souls feel the same… I wasn’t a person in that world, so I was just seeing 'souls'... I was more like a spirit… not really a ghost, but…” Phoebe screwed up her face, trying to remember the rest. “And I asked him to do me a favor, and I… pushed him to wake you up.”

Ellis now suddenly remembered. “That’s right, I was sleeping there, on the cliff! And then…”

          “And then you woke up back here, where you belong.”

“So then you were able to wake up, and stop worrying about me…” Ellis felt something wet on his face, and touched it to find that he was crying.

Phoebe… or her spirit-self, soul, whatever, chose to stay in that horrible place, because she was worried about me… He felt both grateful for her and anguished that she’d suffered because of him. 

          He then recalled what his visitor, Cal had said several days ago.

“Phoebe, I’m sorry…”

Phoebe looked up at him, and Ellis saw that she was crying as well. He felt as if he would shatter. He quickly ran to the kitchen and back to grab tissues for her. 

Who was I to think that I could have ever made up for anything she’d endured…

          “But,” began Phoebe, wiping her eyes, “you feel different now, than you did before.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ellis. “Are you talking about my soul…?”

          Phoebe nodded. “Since Mom died, it was like you were carrying something heavy all by yourself… Maybe that’s what made your soul start to slip… I saw it too on you, when you finally slipped into the World of the Dead. But after Kiya woke you up… you feel lighter now, right?”

          Ellis nodded, surprised.

“So you can understand, right? I had to stay in that world to save you, if you’d one day slip into there… Except I couldn’t really do anything in the end, and it was Kiya who saved you…”

          “Without you, I’d still be sleeping on that cliff, in that nightmare of a world, right? Thank you, Phoebe…” Ellis smiled, blinking away his lingering tears. “Look at you, all grown up and protecting your big brother when it should be me protecting you.”

          At this Phoebe only cried harder.

The two spent the rest of the day together peacefully, talking and laughing. 

          Finally, night fell, and Ellis had an idea.

“Phoebe, do you want to go to San Francisco?”

“San Francisco?” she echoed quizzically. “That sounds fun… They’ve got the Golden Gate Bridge there. You used to have a postcard of it in your room, at the old house.”

Ellis raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I forgot… You’re right. But I’m serious, we could go.”

          “Really?”

“Yeah. See, I know Kiya too. He lives in San Francisco. We can go pay him a visit… and say thanks.”

          "What?! You’re really serious, Ellis? Wait, how do you know Kiya- Oh my god, can we go on a plane? Wait, silly question, how else would we get there, cause you can’t drive, and-”

          Ellis frowned. “I have my license now!”

Phoebe laughed. “What did you bribe the examiner with?”

          “Nothing! I’m a great driver! But we’ll have to take a plane, so you won’t get a chance to see.” 

          “I’ve always wanted to go on a plane!” smiled Phoebe.

“I know.” replied Ellis. “My… old friend… can arrange the tickets for us.”

          Watching Phoebe get excited over the prospect of flying in the sky for real!, Ellis was filled with a warmth he had not felt for a long time. Being with her allowed him to forget all the horrors of his days alone. Though, he thought, it would be difficult to forget that overwhelming scent of blood, that horrible smell that never seemed to wash off after every job... 

He glanced at his sword, which now leaned neatly against the wall. Though it was pristine and spotless, he always seemed to imagine that he’d left a spot of blood on it, no matter how much he polished and cleaned it. 

          We’ll go to San Francisco together, and we’ll see the Golden Gate Bridge… and then I’ll find Kiya, and instead of… doing my job, I’ll warn him of this Constantine…

Perhaps at the same time, I can get to the bottom of this.

Could Constantine be connected to my slipping into the World of the Dead, and then even meeting Kiya there, who I was supposed to kill? It’s all too much of a coincidence to be sheer chance.

His thoughts then wandered to the fallen angel, Silver. He recalled his words, and slowly, Ellis began to feel as if the entire affair was becoming clear.

So that’s it, he thought.

          I refuse to walk the path you’ve set for me, Constantine. You want to use me as your pawn? Fine. Let’s play chess, then.