Ignorance Wasn't Bliss, But This Might Feel Worse

“So, Tam. Do you think it’s weird if I DM Bea’s sister on social media, or should I just send a message to her contributor e-mail at the bottom of the article?”

“Hold on, Mia. I’m not even done reading…and how did you find her profile so fast?”

“Well, most of the Charlotte Cangs I found were PhD students, but this one says SVHS, which sounds like a high school, so it’s probably her, even if she has a baby picture as her profile pic.” I thrust my phone towards Tam’s face, making her look up briefly from her own phone where she was reading Charlotte’s essay.

“Um…Mia, I think you should just write an e-mail to her. You’re going to freak her out if you DM her….if that’s even the right Charlotte Cang.”

“Okay, but I should definitely tell her I see her sister in my nightmares though, right?” I asked as I opened up my laptop to start a new draft.

“That’s too much to start with, and make sure it’s super professional, Mia…don’t go rambling about you’re in love with Bea either, alright?” Tam said, taking on a very stern and serious tone.

“Alright, alright…”

“But, what are you trying to accomplish by contacting her sister anyway?” Tam asked.

“I want to enlist her help in bringing Bea back from her coma!”

“How do you intend to accomplish that? It’s not like you’re a medical professional.”

“I…don’t know. But, I can talk to Bea in my dreams, so if all three of us work together, we’re definitely going to be able to come up with something!”

“Do you…think Bea knows she’s in a coma?” Tam asked. “Do you…think that’s something she’s hiding from you?”

“I…don’t know…” I sighed. Did Bea know? If she did, then she would have known that asking me to find her in the real world was basically an impossible task. I mean, I wouldn’t have even read that article if Lori hadn’t written it…

Well, actually, even if she wasn’t in a coma, it was already practically impossible…I literally only knew her probably-very-common nickname, and she had even hinted that she could look totally different in the real world compared to the dream world…

Before reading Lori’s article, my anxious mind had worried that Bea had refused to look for me because she really did just see me as her plaything and never wanted me to intrude into her regular life. But now, I was starting to wonder if that challenge was a plea for help…

What was it she had said before?

“I wonder what sort of person I must be when I’m awake…”

“I think I’ve been here long enough to appreciate this place properly...”

“Well, I don’t really know or care what she’s hiding from me, I’m still going to try to wake her up from her coma! I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I gave up the chance to see her in the real world,” I declared at last. Yes, this was my resolution.

Tam smiled.

“Well, I did say I’ll support you, didn’t I? Go draft that e-mail then, and I’ll read it over before you send it to make sure this Charlotte girl doesn’t think you’re totally out of your mind,” Tam said as she got up from her desk and stretched.

“I’ll be back in a bit. Just going to get something from the vending machine.” She waved as she stepped out of the door.

“You’re amazing, Tam, you know that, right?” I called.

“Just try your best, okay?” She called back right before the door closed behind her.

***

“Bea! I found you!” I screamed just as I fell right on top of her, knocking her straight to the ground. I could never tell where exactly the dream would drop me after I suffered through the suffocating darkness, but my current theory was that if I thought about Bea hard enough while I was suffering, my lucid dreaming skills would get me to show up right beside her. This only worked about 50% of the time, but I still gotta try something, right?

Bea laughed happily as she looked up at my face. Our heads were so close that if I just moved my face a little closer…

“I didn’t go anywhere, you know,” she said.

“No, I mean, I found you in the real world!” I yelled.

Bea flinched.

“You…found me?” She looked like she was panicking as she quickly disentangled her body from mine and sat back up.

“So, uh, you found me, huh. So, um, to prove that it was really me, tell me what we talked about.” Bea looked away and then back and me and away again, and no matter how much I moved my head to try to meet her eyes, I was still too slow.

“You didn’t say anything to me.” I said.

“Oh, really?”

Before I had arrived at the nightmare world, I had been so excited to tell Bea about everything that had happened today and what I had found out. I had even had trouble falling asleep because I was so excited. But now that I was finally seeing Bea in person…I realized that excitement had actually been ridiculously frivolous, because why did I think that telling someone who probably didn’t know the reason she was unable to wake up from this nightmare world was because her brain wasn’t working properly, and no one knew why, was going to be fun?

But, of course, I knew I couldn’t run away and pretend nothing was wrong.

“You didn’t say anything to me…because you’re in a coma.”

We both sat there in silence for what felt like forever. It looked like my assumption earlier had been right. She had been totally in the dark about her condition.

“I…how can you be so sure?” Bea whispered, looking down at her bare feet.

“I saw a photo of you in my school’s newspaper. Your full name is Beatrix Cang, and you go to the same university as I do and are majoring in Classical Civilization with a minor in Latin. In fact, you’re so good at Latin that you’re a TA for the beginner’s class. And our school’s mascot is the Blue Phoenix, and in this dream world you can fly with wings made of blue fire. Like, everything points to you being the girl in the article I read, and the article said that this month is your one-year anniversary of being in a coma.”

I waited for Bea to respond.

“I…ah…no…well, I guess…maybe that’s why I can’t…remember…anything…” Bea mumbled to herself.

“Bea, what did you say?” I asked.

“Um…I said…good morning!” She quickly got up, turned away from me, and ran.

I stood up as fast as I could and was about to run after her when I heard a rumble. But, instead of the glass rain I was expecting, I got a meteor shower instead. A meteor shower that was burying me yet again in indigo and violet stardust.

“You can’t do this every time you don’t want to answer a question!” I yelled before the nightmare sky disappeared completely and the pieces of my mundane reality started to click into my vision. Still, I knew that I couldn’t be that mad at her this time, because, honestly, I'm the type to run away from my problems, too.

***

Right before my 9am lecture started, I got an e-mail notification on my phone.

Hey, thanks for sending me a message. I get off school at 3:15pm. Can we talk more then? I’ll send you a link for a videochat. – Lottie