LLC in Space

Once again my brother and I were sitting in the waiting room of the Attorneybot & Attorneybot law office. After spending the night protecting our casino winnings with my life from Randy, we were finally ready to pay the filing fee.

"The attorneybot will see you now. Beep bop." The robo-receptionist informed us.

I got up from my chair and began walking in, but stopped for a moment. "You coming Randy?"

He remained seated, entranced in an alien swimsuit magazine.

"Uh... We have to go in now." I reiterated to him.

"Oh... Yeah, I'll be right there." He snapped out of it and followed me in, but not before tearing out another page from the magazine and shoving it in his pocket.

The two of us took our seats and were once again greeted by the attorneybot.

"Who are you looking to sue today? Beep bop." It inquired immediately.

"No, we already went through this yesterday. All we want to do is set up a business entity." I shot it down.

It flashed a frowning emoji on its monitor. "Oh... Are you sure? That offer from yesterday is still valid. Beep bop."

"Hmm, can you think of anybody we can sue, little bro?" Randy muttered to me.

"We're not suing anyone! Please just give us whatever forms we need to fill out." I responded to both Randy and the attorneybot.

"... Very well... I would recommend filing as a limited liability company or an LLC for short." The robot spoke in a disappointed tone.

A holographic terminal popped up in front of us and we began filling in our personal info. Eventually we came to one question in particular.

I turned to Randy. "Do you have any idea what we should name our company?"

He stopped and thought for a moment. "Hm... Burger... Space... Burger Space... Burger in Space... Space Burger." He snapped his fingers. "I got it! We'll call it Space Burger."

It wasn't bad, in fact I kind of liked it. I nodded and filled it in on the form.

"What's with this optional section labeled 'roles'?" I asked.

"If you would like, you can assign yourselves titles that fit your role at the company. Beep bop."

That was all my brother had to hear to get a sparkle in his eye. "Randy R Rodger, President of Space Burger. I like the sound of that." He proceeded to fill in the title of "president" beside his name.

I just put myself down as "treasurer/secretary", since it seemed like I was going to be the one responsible for all the finances and administrative work.

We submitted our application and paid the 120 stollar fee. Thanks to the power of automation and the intergalactic web, the attorneybot already received a response from the space government...

"Congratulations, Space Burgers LLC has been officially approved. Beep bop." The robot shot a little confetti cannon from its index finger tip.

Randy excitedly jumped up from his seat, unable to contain himself. "We did it, little bro! We're officially in business."

I high-fived him, but unfortunately had to bring him back to reality. "We technically aren't in business yet. We still have to secure that loan and get all that equipment for the ship."

He didn't seem bothered in the least. "Then why are we still here? Let's go talk with that bankerbot."

Completely energized, Randy picked me up from under my armpits like a child.

"Put me down. You know I hate-."

I couldn't finish, as he was already eagerly out the door of the law firm. He opened up the door to our ship and tossed me in back while he fired up the ignition.

I braced myself, knowing that there was no way I'd make it into the passenger seat in time. Randy slammed his foot down on the accelerator, launching our ship around to the other side of the moon.

🍔🍔🍔

Unfortunately it was Friday, which meant payday. There was a line that stretched all the way outside the door of the bank. For some reason, despite it being the 31st century, there were still people in the galaxy that didn't have direct deposit set up on their bank accounts.

"Ah, you got to be ducking kidding me!" Randy exclaimed as we took our place at the end of the line.

"Nothing we can do. We'll just have to wait." I responded.

He looked around impatiently, then tapped the shoulder of the alien in front of us. It had the body of a human, but the head of pterodactyl.

"Yo dino-dude, can we cut ahead of you?" Randy boldly asked.

"Screeeeee!" It turned around and spit at his face.

"I don't speak pterodactylian, but I think that was a no." I said, going in front of my brother to keep him from harassing this alien any more. Whether my brother liked it or not, we were going to have to wait in this line.

Randy impatiently tapped his foot on the ground. "Got any games on your holo-phone, little bro?"

"No, I don't. Why can't you play with your own phone?"

I did actually have Angry Burgs, but I didn't want him beating the levels I hadn't cleared yet.

"Can't, I broke it last week at 2:00 in the morning on the L." (*Note: The "L" is what the subway system is called in Chicago.)

I shook my head. "Do I even want to know?"

"There was a robot talking some hardcore smack, So I whipped my phone at it. The stupid thing had it coming." Randy proclaimed.

We continued waiting for close to an hour. Every few minutes, the line slowly shuffled forward and my brother looked more and more like he was about to fall asleep standing up. By the time we made it to the front, he had a snot bubble coming from his nose and was snoring.

I clapped my hands in his ear. "Randy, wake up."

He shook his head around and popped his eyes open. "Huh... Where am-... Oh we're at the front.

"What can I help you with today?" The robo-receptionist wondered.

"We’re here again for that lo-."

Randy was abruptly interrupted by a boom that came from the wall directly next to the bank's entrance. Stone and plaster crumbled in a puff of smoke, leaving a large hole in the wall. From it emerged a very large and very plump green one eyed orangutan-like alien wearing a yellow ski-mask.

"This robbery. Oo oo. No move. Put money in bag!" He aggressively bellowed, as he flailed his excessively long arms around while clenching a banana in its hand like a gun.

Randy naively spoke up, "Line starts back there, buddy!"

The alien walked right up to my brother and stared him down with an annoyed look in his one giant eye. "What you say, blue hair man."

Randy refused to back down. "I said the line starts back-."

A red laser bolt whizzed past the side of his head. The orangutan alien, stood smoking gun- er I should say smoking banana in hand. My brother didn't even flinch.

"Woah, w-we don't want any tr-trouble." I stuttered, a bit shaken up.

"Tch, what the heck's your problem, pal?" Randy continued to instigate him.

"Oo oo! Get out way or I vaporize" The alien screeched as he pulled out a second banana ray gun from under one of his stomach rolls. With a banana in each hand, he took aim at both my brother and I.

"You really think I'm afraid of a fruit, monkey man?" Randy laughed while he continued to stand his ground.

Preparing for the worst, I fell to the floor, curled up into the fetal position and instinctively cried, "mommy!" There was also a possibility that I may have wet myself at that moment, but I'd rather not say for sure.

After a few seconds of anticipating getting turned into a pile of dust, nothing happened... I looked up and to my surprise, the alien was detained in a large transparent bubble.

"Threat detained, beep bop." The robo-receptionist stated. It had hit the panic under its desk, which triggered a containment bubble that was deployed from an opening in the ceiling above. This was probably one of many security measures the Spase Bank had in place.

Randy and I watched as a couple of police-bots came to take the perpetrator away. As they rolled the alien away, it began mouthing what I assumed were a variety of expletives at us. Unfortunately for him though, his shouts were completely muted by the bubble.

"No thanks necessary officers. It's just a regular Friday for someone like me." Randy proclaimed, trying to take credit.

The police-bots didn't even so much as acknowledge him as they exited the building.

With his chest puffed out, he walked back up to the robo-receptionist. "Now that I've taken care of that, I want to see a personal banker about a loan... and make it snappy."

The robot took a moment to process his request... "I'm sorry, but I need to politely ask that you go to the end of the line. It would be unfair to serve you before the other patrons, considering you stepped out of the queue. Beep bop."

Randy looked like he wanted to bash his head against a wall. "You got to be Ducking kidding me!"

Unfortunately, the robo-receptionist wasn't wrong. Both Randy and I did technically step out of line during the robbery. It did suck, but we didn't have a choice. I ushered Randy out, before he did something that would get us arrested too.

Once again, we waited for another hour or so. The entire time Randy did nothing, but complain and mutter obscenities under his breath. Eventually, we did end up getting to speak with the banker-bot and by some miracle, we were able to get approved for a small business loan. I did end up having to be the one who signed off on it though, considering Randy's credit score was so terrible, that I didn't know it was possible to have a score under 300.

With our $100 thousand stollar line of credit secured, we were now ready to move onto the next phase of our business venture!