(Episode IV) The Next (Tripped) Step

The fact that her and others lives were dependent on a bruised banana kept Jackie lost in thought.

With a blanket draped over her shoulders, she just held the fruit in her hands, staring at it. She often looked towards the other girls, eating their given rations. But mainly, she went back to just staring at the banana.

With the help of the Extant Research and Aide crew, she managed to do what the strange stranger taught—walking everyone out of their Mindspace, a term she literally just learnt as the Researchers that helped explained something she should’ve been taught years ago.

On average, most siVictims fall into their Mindspace: their thoughts given shape and a plane to exist in. While the siVis Trend problem is very much a real thing to be wary over, most if not all siVictims just… Inter this “Spaced State”. Trapped within their own wandering minds, aware enough that they’re trapped—but so aware of the effects of said traps that they slowly but surely lose the will to live.

Even as one can get out of it: they have to fight against going back from that point on. This is Jackie’s newest fight when she had too many already, now.

While she didn’t know the exact terms, interplay and relationships to it—she was always under the impression that it’s people who suffer from mental health issues or simply wasn’t ready to take siVis along with the sheer shock went into this state. She could stew once again on how ill prepared she and many are against the Shifts and all that, but she couldn’t muster it

Simply put… She was just exhausted. Maybe she had finally reached rock-bottom, despite its ability to get somehow lower, deeper.

After her Mindspace walk down memory lane… She let herself get more compromised. She let herself cloud whatever judgement she had left, when she needed that little judgement to make the call that would’ve avoided this whole thing.

She saw herself wailing within the dessert, destroying whatever she had after she crossed the line, again. In fact, she kept seeing it whenever her eyes or mind drifted from whatever she was thinking about. And to think, if it wasn’t for someone’s act of kindness… That would’ve been her world.

As much as she hates, outright despises this world that weighs against logic, value, and humanity… Trapped within her own mind, twisted by that hate, forever stained with that, when she could’ve been fighting against these feelings? It’s terrifying.

So, she looked at the banana, studied it. It accumulated more bruising—thanks to what she could describe as awakening from a night terror when Tracy came to—and looked a tad more roughed up. Just like her.

While she couldn’t believe that she’s so sad and drained at the point of comparing herself to a banana; it perfectly captured what she needed to keep in mind, at least.

“Healing can make our scars shrink”. That’s what she tried to gleam from the stranger, her rambling.

But what about this banana? Once it’s bruised, it begins to rot in earnest. What could’ve been delicious, turned into mush. And all it’s good for is to provide the little energy it can offer to something that eats it clean—what a miserable and nothing existence…

…

It occurred to her that she needed to talk with someone-

So, she turned to River, who was next to her, circling her trail mix in her container with her finger. Jackie could see the scenario—where the two can’t see eye to eye because of who they are and what life they’ve had. She could since that maybe River was lonely, kept to herself, and has a low opinion of herself overall considered the wrinkled clothes she wore what left like months, but was a few days ago. She must think she’s some big jock—which wasn’t unfair.

Jackie flinched, as her thoughts became clear and crystalized within her head. Her Mindspace showed a compilation of her memories with River so far—settling to Maddie’s jabs at her during the hospital incident, instantly as the moments of her own self-jabs practically fought back as Maddie’s words manifested.

She quickly shook her head but felt herself earnestly come to. Was that slipping back…? Or was that her actually thinking…?

Didn’t matter right now. What matters is reaching out to this poor, smarter-than-she-gives-herself-credit-for girl…

“So, uh…” Jackie begun, striking the conversation. “Don’t like Trial Mix?”

“Can’t say that I don’t eat much,” River replied.

…Thank God Maddie was far away enough not to pouch on that.

Jackie continued on, “That’s well and good but… We need to eat. Especially now, to keep up our strength.”

River craned her head towards Jackie, looking at her with the disposable glasses she was given on, “If we actually git gud with siVis, we could basically survive longer without eating, you know that, right?”

Jackie sat, puzzled, “…I’ll ignore why that’s basically severing humanity; but why did you say ‘get good’ like that…?”

“My terrible amusement,” she replied, sitting her tray down. “Besides, I don’t need to eat. I’m here to kick gum and chew ass. And I’m all out of ass.”

Jackie’s stunned silence created the lull for what was said next, but not by her.

“The fuck…?” Maddie looked towards River, who in turn just looked down, giggling to herself. The smaller girl was on the other side of the bench, opposite to Jackie. “I was only listening because I wanted to see how Jackson botches this, but the actual fuck?”

“That’s enough, Maddie,” Jackie said, looking back.

“I just didn’t imagine, y’know, for her to be this socially awkward,” there was no usual amused or jovial tone when Maddie said that. Jackie remembers that she more or less got up from where she sat, away from everyone. This was like the hospital, where this felt like a genuine swipe.

“I’m just going to chalk this up as both of you still being rattled by this whole thing,” Jackie begun, stared her down. “But there’s no reason for the put downs. Stand down.”

There wasn’t surprisingly any protest, Maddie just simply glowered, like Jackie had saw her doing the first time they met. Not at anyone, or anything, but just to glower as if she’ll forget that she would if she stopped.

Aiko, sat beside her, kept moving in her seat, swing her socked feet forward and back—cutting that off, then looking around for someone, anyone—and cut that off. She mumbled that she “was wasting time”, she “lost so many days to whatever this is”, “make it up”, she “has to”, “has to make this up”.

Tracy was still, to contrast both Aiko and how she usually carried herself. Jackie pictured her shivering, eyeing everyone that came close or at the group itself, after coming out of her state screaming so hard that she couldn’t care more that her raw throat caused her to cough, to make her stop. She felt distant, a pitiful look on her face as she leaned back, clutching her covers. Jackie was scared that she might slip into whatever nightmarish hell was dragged into.

…Thing is. What if Jackie had listened to that little judgement that she had that night? That she did run back home, only to stew in what… She saw.

If she woke up the day after, she would’ve seen something in the headlines, that these four girls joined the increasing list of the desperate that wanted to regain control over their lives. By seeing their faces, by learning their names, Jackie would’ve felt bad.

But she found herself within that weird position of pre-destination or fate, or what have you. If it wasn’t for her, would the Shift have gotten worse? Maybe even getting siVis little to no problems? Or worse, they’d be still stuck in that nightmare realm, forever lost.

She saves herself, but not them? Even if they’ve never met, or have the best bonds even now, it felt wrong to her. Saving, helping—it doesn’t require a name or a reason.

And as if on cue, an Extant Researcher walked up towards the girls. There was a black, thick visor that covered what would’ve been ghastly, soulless stare. Jackie remarked to herself that they must’ve gotten enough complaints about it to address that…

“Are you all okay?” a featureless voice rang out. Not machinal but… Plain. A baseline on what a voice should sound like but remove the nuance that makes it work. “Need anything?”

Jackie then nodded, then said without a second thought, “Any accurate information on siVis? It can just be—a stack of papers, I honestly don’t care anymore. In fact… Any status reports on what we’re going to do now?”

The Extant Researcher turned the huge head on their suit, using their flappy, formless fingers to signal someone to come. “While we can provide you all with a pamphlet each, Extant will be using their planned ‘First Step’ announcement as a forum to update everyone on the least.”

“Hold up,” Maddie butted in before Jackie expressed her disappointment in simply getting a pamphlet. “Y’all still going on with that? Like—people died here, it’s a bit insensitive to uh, basically some pat-on-the-back party when this shit’s bad.”

The Researcher just stood firm, and regurgitate his statement as the old woman medical aid just passed the girls’ pamphlets, “The next steps of recovery will be announced in place of the original celebration—be sure to tune into that to keep being informed.”

“I…” Jackie began, then conceded, “Yeah. Thank you.”

The old woman continued to pass the pamphlets down the row, until something hit Jackie like a freight train.

“Leslie—I mean,” Jackie course-corrected herself, towards the medical aid, “The Homers… Are they alright? Has there been any and all signs of them?”

The medical aid scoffed, which made Jackie get knocked off foot further, “They’re gonna wish that they’re dead, I’ll tell you that right now.” She looked at Jackie, hands on her hips after giving Maddie a pamphlet that she then threw to the side. “They’re suspected to be behind all this. I don’t know how, but there’s a lot of records showing some grizzly stuff they’ve swept up. And the fact that the readings came from the top of the hospital, where they were? Too many coincidences. Their asses are grass.”

As the help walked away, Jackie found herself looking down at her bruised, nearly dead banana again, Pit in her stomach, with the sight of this thing making her sicker than she already was.

“Great,” Maddie threw up her hands. “Guy that helped us fucked us, we’re fucked by being stuck on this fucking part of the city, and there’s plenty of room left for more fuckery.” She looked to her cohorts. “Face it girls, we’re fucked.”

“Man, I never would’ve gotten that from that sentence,” Jackie needled, “But… Well, one, we don’t fully know everything yet and—”

“Alright, until then, fuck him,” Maddie sniped back.

Jackie bit back her tongue, “Sure.”

“And that still doesn’t change the fact that we’re more or less stuck in the shittest part of the city… There’s nothing but shops here, closed shops and dead entertainment. Now say that we’re marooned here for six months and the drop off boxes are basically ‘whatever’. We’d be fucked, because we have nothing to eat but junk and zany gimmick meals that have some shelf life of like, 2 days.”

Maddie raised her finger, “Lemme tell y’all. One week we were tight for money, so we bought just dollar store candies and chips to hold out. I nearly tapped out on day four, because after a point, your body is so sugar high, it just forgets to be a body. And that was a week.”

Jackie sighed. “You’re right. Even staying here is straining the already crippled supply as is…”

“That’s why we need to learn how to use siVis to bypass hunger and other functions,” River spoke up.

Aiko added, jumped in, waving the pamphlet to prove her point, “We don’t even know if we can do things on a baseline level! Whatever the ‘lock’ we all have is and the fact that three people with different opinions on how to use it; our siVis stuff is just as broken!”

“Oh god,” Tracy begun to clutch at her head. “Oh god…”

“Everyone,” Jackie said. “Let’s focus on one thing here. We’ll go to event, we’ll get information, and hey—maybe we’ll get lucky and manage to snag some supplies on Steppe Ave. We cannot accomplish anything if we decent into stuff like this.”

“We can’t accomplish anything period,” Maddie said back. “We don’t have anything, we barely have fucking clothes.”

Jackie stood up, looked to Maddie.

“So we do nothing? Just sit here until we go into the Mindspace again and never come out?”

After a very pregnant pause, Maddie just shrugged and closed her eyes. “The world’s never meant to be beaten. You just do what you can until the world takes that away too. Life’s just surviving until you can’t.”

Jackie fought to unclench her fist.

“Then we’ll learn to survive. I’m not gonna let it push me around and give in again. Our families are worried sick about us, and I’m not gonna let it push you all around either.” She glanced across the others. “We’re going to get through this. I promise you.”

“…Hm,” was all that Maddie said.

Jackie gestured towards a place, not really directing, but just the principal of her overall point. “Let’s walk this funk off. I bet we’ll all feel shit still, but at least with our minds cleared.”

They all looked at each other, at their own direction and at their own pace. Aiko was the first to stand up. River then got up and it was Tracy that waited for someone else to get up before she did, leaving Maddie the only squatter.

“You know the city better than us, it seems…” Jackie said to her. “We could really use your help for getting to the shortcuts.”

“…Yeah,” Maddie smirked a bit. “You’ll get lost somehow and come back here all pissed anyways. Might as well put a moratorium on that.”

And with that, Maddie rose up, and proceeded to lead the way, the others closely following. As they advanced down the street, Jackie looked to her side, finding a trashcan that was upcoming. Without a second thought, she tossed her banana into it.

No more bruising. They have to learn and do it quick.

The travel towards Steppe Ave was very brisk, Maddie really coming through in guiding them through alley ways and streets. 15 minutes was all it took when they got to Steppe Ave, the part where they can access and there was already crowds upon crowds.

Jackie elected to stay further back, standing at the end of the long road. Aiko, surprisingly, stayed behind as well. Jackie breathed a sigh of relief with that, at least. Less thing to worry about.

She adjusted her vision, getting used to feeling it out, toggling it. And with it, she saw the scene.

Crowds of people, moving and intertwining with everyone, just trying to get what they can, what they need. Shift paraphernalia stores boarded up with people on Shifticated stands, dropping whatever’s available to the other workers to catch and pass about the masses. Terrible idea on how to supply aside, it made Jackie uneasy. People are on the verge of breaking, you can see it despite seeing nothing but blurs. These smeared imagines conveyed irregularity, trembling, desperation.

Jackie decided to take a break, to look away for a bit. She’s treated to Aiko just sitting there, not really looking at anything, flat on her butt.

She more or less failed with River, but she at least got over fearing trying to shoot the shit with different people. In fact, she could even learn more about Aiko than the caricature she’s been offering.

“Hey,” Jackie started. “Aren’t ya going to be over the freaking Moon when this is all over…?”

“Definitely,” Aiko responded back. “The grind to start back up is gonna be amazing.”

See, a great conversation starter, and an open for more. “What do you do, exactly…?”

“Whatever doesn’t kill me, more or less!” Aiko chirped.

“…Right…”

“Like I said,” Aiko turned to Jackie. “The whole getting siVis stuff is basically the next level. I can now say that I’ve survived it AND get to do even crazier stuff! It was pretty much one of my greatest plans ever~”

“…Right,” Jackie found herself grinding her teeth, biting back what she wanted to scream in disbelief at her. “Aren’t you concerned about your parents…?”

“Oh, definitely,” Aiko earnestly said. “I hope they and my brothers are okay and not freaking out too hard… Buuuut I am kinda glad that this happened. I can get outta that boring talk they were gonna have with me when this is over!”

“…Yeah,” Jackie just nodded, looked back at the crowd. “Yeah.”

To get her mind distracted from the distraction, she looked to the Extant people trying to construct the stage that will display the message, putting in the final pieces and readying the finishing touches. A circular construct, with pillars leaning inwards that will create the AR projection. They were putting on the lenses on the tips tight and running tests as they adjust.

Only a few minutes, now. A few minutes to address the state of existence.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Maddie coming back with River and Tracy in tow… Along with a box of…

“…Holy shit, Maddie-“ Jackie exclaimed. “How the hell did you get so much merch stuff?!”

Maddie wore a wrist-watch, had black and gray shirts draped over her shoulders, with plastic shades on her face and a hat worn sideways on her head. All with the biggest smile Jackie’s ever seen stretched across her face.

“When shit’s free, Jackson? You hoover as much as you fucking can,” she said triumphantly. “No one wants it, people who have to sell it hate their lives, and that’s where you move in…”

She planted the box on the ground, hands on her hips. “We don’t have pants and shoes, but we share as fuck have shirts, toothbrushes, socks, water bottles, backpacks, notebooks—The works!”

“…You’re implying that you managed to find Shift-themed panties and I’m not at all okay with that,” Jackie said fearfully.

Maddie just smiled, until Tracy begun to speak up.

“They said that the opportunities presented itself—” Tracy explained, far too much.

“But hey, it’s a start!” Maddie said. “You might’ve been onto something, Jackson. This is the best fucking thing we’ve done so far.”

Jackie smiled a bit. “See? We have to move forward, just to see if anything’s there.”

And before any more discussion between them continued, the main discourse was ready to start.

The projectors unleashed a flurry of pixels that swirled about into the air. They concentrated into an image, into the leader of the Extant Commission: Conrad T. Miller.

He was ancient, he knew of a world before years stopped and seasons flowed instead of skipped. His head pointed upwards, his face shagged into places—like his cheeks flopping downward, his neck hanging above his suit. He hid his eyes behind black, round specs and his brow was furrowed despite how loose it was. His hands were clutching at his wheelchair’s arms, despite not having the strength to do it.

In fact, that’s what Jackie admired. His body was more or less broken, crippled and worn… Yet he radiated and held firm to his unwavering seriousness and valor.

“I am sorry that the last few days have been filled with nothing but pain and sorrow, more over than what we now call usually…” Conrad’s voice was gravelly, gravely. “This… Was supposed to be a day of celebration, one that we all so desperately need… A day to bask in the steps we have finally, finally taken in reclaiming life as we knew it… Now we have to announce our step backwards.”

Jackie and the others didn’t need to use their siVis to hear the murmurs of the crowd. They were on edge. They were prepping for the worse, waiting for the absolute kind that will stagger them back into despair.

“This is now officially considered to be new activity in regards to the Shift Noumena…” Conrad paused. “We have searched our records and findings, and this has no official match within them. While the origin and cause are still up for debate, it is indeed siVis and Shift related. Normally, as we’ve known so far, the siVis Anomaly, discovered and founded by the ever-great Dr. Gia Taber, had little to no connections with the Shift Noumena. It is not born of it, like the categorized entries, but it’s more of a reaction or rather a consequence of now living in a world where reality has weakened to a point of allowing other phenomenon to happen. But this is not what you all wanted to hear…”

“Hell, Tabby does…” River commented.

Jackie shushed her, before Maddie tried to explain that River’s made even more inside jokes and references during this speech, but of course all of the girl’s attention was back to Conrad.

“You want to hear our game plan. You want to hear our next steps… And here is number 1. We are still calling this our Final Step; our celebration of Shift integration.”

The crowd turned to each other, beginning to talk over each other.

Conrad perused his lips, before beginning again. “Of course, we are not going to be festive, as it is incredibly inappropriate to do so when there are so many victims. But in order to fight against these new threats, we might reinforce our approach. More discovery. More reconstruction. And more training with ORACON tech that will save our lives, regardless of the learning curve. This is the perfect time and example to apply our approach, no matter how long it takes. We have finally found our road to progress, our road to recovery. And these are the final steps towards our journey.”

He paused again, looking down before raising his head again.

“Our relief efforts, however, will be significantly delayed—as this new activity has thrown off everything regarding Extant’s strategy. It will come, I will assure you, it will indeed come. We just—”

“Hello—Hello—Hello—Hello~!” the disembodied yet characterized voice interrupted, as the particles assembled a very character-driven man.

His sides of his head were shaved, his hair fluffed up in the front, with his hair trailing at the back, white. His suit was loud, and somehow bold in it’s unprofessional coordination. All neon colors were on display, as he wore black gloves.

And he’d be rightfully called a clown, if it wasn’t for the fact that he created, founded, and is leading this island.

“Oh god,” Maddie sounded drained already. “It’s Mr. Davenpoint…”

“My fair and just citizens,” Mr. Davenport begun. “I’ve come with both a question and a statement!”

“I told you that we weren’t doing this, Davenport!” Conrad shouted back as much as he could.

“And as you said when you tried to force me out of your offices; my city is sliced in half and my citizens are ruined,” Mr. Davenport. “Frankly, I’m just as tired as these victims that continued to be neglected!”

“Now then,” Mr. Davenport began again. “I’ve come with both a question and a statement, my Daventonians!” He raised his arms high. “Are you not sick of being in fear? And if so, only we with my leadership can create the change we desperately need!”

“It isn’t about change!” Conrad debated. “And it isn’t about your ego! We have to stick with what works--!”

“And it hasn’t been working since most of these people have been alive!” Mr. Davenport fired back. “If the majority of our citizens remembered our world and what fortunes that awaited us, then the rest are young enough to only hear the stories of how it was—and are only left with a world so broken, you refuse to fix!”

“We’ve done nothing but fix it!” Conrad was broiling. “We strive to fix it, step by step-!”

“Honestly, as an expert shaper and businessman; you need to lay off with your brand,” Davenport snapped back. “Tell me, tell me—It would be 17 years. 17. Years. What are these steps? Tell me, inform us, what these steps are? And to finish… Why were they all rendered meaningless in the end?”

Conrad shut his mouth. He knew it was bait, and just made Davenport look more childish than he already was for a 50-year-old.

“Because, surprisingly, this isn’t just to embarrass you or Extant in general—along with the international team, because you all are under immense pressure… I’m just saying this to help with that weight. Listen, I pay a lot of lip service to progress more than running this place—and when you chose here to step up here, the main station and bastion of humanity fighting back, I was honored. Still honored. I have nothing but respect for you… But you’ve lost your way.”

Mr. Davenport extended his arms towards his crowds, his citizens. “Progress, constant progress, is the way to beat this existential threat. There is no other way. You try integration, but completely forgo the human element to it. ‘Learning curves’? More like unscalable walls, walls that don’t even protect as well as it should have—you’ve FAILED, and you continue to!”

“This is unprecedented times, and you know this!” Conrad spat back. “It requires sacrifice! Time!”

“And we’ve sacrificed so much already. And we don’t have any more time left,” Mr. Davenport reversed.

Conrad grunted, then turned his attention to the uncertain and scared crowd. “Regardless of what we’ve done and going to do; we have dedicated our lives to make yours as happy and free! Nothing less or sort of the truth! I’ve said it! Multiple times and I’ll say it again!”

Mr. Davenport “looked” at his senior, twisting his mouth about. He looked like, for once, he was weighting his options on what he was going to say.

“Then why did you say to me, before storming in to come here desperately, that you had no idea what to do?”

And with that, the crowd was allowed to fall off the edge it lost the strength to teeter on.

It became a crush of bodies, people pushing and trying to run, but no where to go. The masses trying to disburse but confided. And it was getting worse.

Jackie turned to the others, “We have to go—This might—We just have to go!”

And on cue, they were the only ones that were able to run.

Even with a few blocks behind them, and a many minutes passed, they can still hear the unrest from where they stopped to catch their breathe.

Jackie turned towards the cries and felt terrible. Nothing she could do…

“Well,” Maddie heavily panted, with box in hand still. “That was a shitshow…”

“It was going so well until that embarrassment of a mayor came on…” Tracy coughed. “Why do we even have a mayor? This place is borderline technocratic-!”

“Something something, ‘he made it goddamn it and he has the special say in the matter’, yeah, he’s full of shit…” Maddie response.

“Now what do we do…” River asked. “That place is basically gone or whatever’s left of it after that, the place we were at is gonna triple its capacity… And like Maddie said, we’re in industrial/commercial district hell…”

“At least there’s a movie place, like, a good hour walk from here…” Maddie lightly tossed the box to the ground. “Fuck me, make that two, my legs are twisting up…”

“…I know what we can do…” Jackie started, and everyone looked to her. “We just… Saw today how easy it is to turn on each other.”

Everyone then looked towards each other, getting Jackie’s point.

“So we have to vow, promise ourselves… No matter how bad shit gets, we have to stand together. We don’t have to be friends. Don’t even have to like each other. But we have to stick together. Because we know we can’t handle this alone.”

Tracy nodded her head, “Well said… Because I sure as heck can’t…”

“What’s the plan, then?” River asked.

“…Maybe we can try that movie theatre Maddie talked about,” Jackie suggested. “Stay there for a while. Figure things out and gather information as we can. We’ll make our next steps—”

Jackie cringed. That phrase, lost all meaning…

“…There…” she finished.

Maddie shrugged, “Just lemme catch my breathe and…” She looked about. “The fuck is Safari Gal-?”

Jackie and the others looked around and Aiko was nowhere to be seen.

“She was looking out for number one--!” Tracy instantly snided.

“Goddamn it—” Jackie was cut off.

“HEY GUYS!” Aiko came out of the nearest alley, waving her arms. “I THINK WE GOT LUCKY!”

Everyone tilted their heads, then followed Aiko’s lead.

This couldn’t be made up, what they saw.

The storage room, from the hospital, which possibly has all of their stuff plus anything their families saved for them, was wedged into a building. Aiko found it because of the various clothes in a pile leaking out onto the floor.

“…I’m both happy that we might have our things again,” Jackie sounded torn. “BUT WHY DID WE HAVE TO RUIN SOMEONE’S LIVELY HOOD TO GET IT?!”