Body/Wonder

“You know, it’s only speculation, but you know, apparently, they had, over 1000 years ago I mean, balls of light that were formulated by or were actually gas that projected an image of light over this planet that would take decades for a person to reach. They were called stars,” Dr. Vex said to me on the silent train. His voice carried, but no one seemed to pay attention. It remained still. Stars, so that’s what they were called. 

We were rounding the edge of Nolan above ground and everything around me still looked like a colored pixel streak through the window. Even with my glasses. 

“Not even just that! There were large bodies of liquid, like the one on your body double's face! It sat on its own and there were creatures that lived with in, even without light! It’s mad! And—ooh, another phenomenon; volcanoes. It was some sort of rocky mountain-like surface that shot red liquid!”

“Red liquid?” Such a thing exists? Impossible. My body double, that thing. Her image, so odd. Was she the reason why that man said I was empty? Emptiness. Another chill ran down my leg; they’ve been happening more often lately. I don’t know why. 

“There’s many wonders in this world! But the government—oh those bastards, the government! They’re hiding it, what we were! We’re merely shells! But yet you,” he turned towards me. “I have to know. What lies beyond thousands of years of lost knowledge. Regal may not care, you know, him and I were old scientists in the government. The one who attacked you, low class am I right? He-“

So that’s his name. Regal. He said to return to him when I got strong. Quite irrelevant, he’ll be waiting an eternity. There’s no desire to fix any part of this broken body that exists within me, it can’t be restored. But that girl. Why was there liquid on her face when she touched me? Is that emptiness? Is it that cold?

The train came to a sudden stop and all the doors slid open. I looked out the window and everything was green. I adjusted my glasses to make sure I put it on the correct setting, I did. 

“Arrived: Nolan-2. Departure: Nolan-3. 5 seconds. Final. Final. Nolan-2,”

Everyone off-boarded, jumping on to the platform from the floating train. 

“Let’s go! Experience IIII, Experience IIII! I found a friend for youuu—!” He exclaimed as we jumped across.

The door to the train slid back and in the blink of an eye, the pink and green slithered around the corner. A friend, he says. He uses such strange words. Experience IIII, again. Who is this? He called me Experience II.

In front of us, we faced an open landscape of green buildings. I noticed that nothing above ground flickered, but when I removed my glasses, it began to flicker again. Noted. 

The ground was equally as green as the buildings, they were infinite. People jumped and floated around, but that same silence enveloped the city once more. It was strange. Even below ground had sounds of the train from below. What is this place?

“Experience IIII, Experience IIII, I have a friend for youuu—“

“Can you stop that?” I blurted. Hm. That’s odd. I’ve never said that before, it’s not something I would say. 

He stopped. “What did you just say?”

“I don’t know. What is this place?”

“Repeat it again.” He asked.

“I can’t. Where is this place? And you said something, friend. What does it mean?”

The yellow sky overcasted the buildings, complementing the green that surrounded us. It took a while but he finally spoke.

“A friend. A friend. Hm. Hm. Hmmm, how did she explain it. Personally, your guess is as good as mine but it was something Experience IIII told me. A bond between two people. Like the one between atoms. Weird, right?! It was something she remembered, who knows. One step closer to knowing Experience! How’s that, government bastards!” His voice echoed. 

No one paid any attention to him, but as usual, the stares never stopped. We walked around and the burn of their eyes always made contact with my skin. It hurt. I still don’t know if Dr. Vex was to be trusted, but clearly, he had something I didn’t. A bond between two people, it doesn’t really make any sense. I'm me so if such a thing exists, I’m sure I would be excluded from it. It’s okay, I’ve known that I don’t belong.

“Oh, I forgot! This is Nolan 2, the city of Development! Well, more like a province. Anyways, it’s only government officials and controlled light users who go above ground.  You wouldn’t know, no offense, but yeah! Ta-da! Welcome! I’ve only been to up to Nolan 70, government trip, don’t ask, but yeah! Experience IIII lives below ground, off we go! Experience IIII, Experience IIII, I have a friend for youuu—!”

An odd manner, he has. 

+_____+

We shot down to below ground through a yellow tube that was in the middle of the green plaza. It didn't glitch and go static-like until a person went down the chute. A guard stood by and monitored all the people who went below ground, some being denied entry. When we walked towards it, Dr. Vex drew his card out of the air and showed it to the guard and off we went. 

The darkness of below ground had never dawned on me until I came back once again. Even though this is supposed to be a different district, it looks the same. The flickering streetlights that ran along each block, the buildings that glitched continuously, to the ground that displayed the same checkered grid. It was weird.

Dr. Vex walked beside me, muttering whatever he was, and the existential feeling of being watched was something that persisted. Each stare penetrated, all filled with the same contempt that I felt each day, with no change. It's not likely it ever will, some things never do. I was born this way, with this body. One that no one seemed to understand; it's natural I would despise it, their looks confirmed what I already knew. 

The noise from the train above whistled below as we aimlessly walked and walked, with no destination in sight.  I had a thought of asking him where we were going, but did I really care? Would anything be different? The only prospect that stirred something, and it was very faint, hardly noticeable, was that girl. Why did that person who looked like me feel so cold? And then she was gone. 

"We're here! Experience IIII, where are youuu? You'll never believe it; I found Experience II! She's a little, I don't know, yeah! We're here!"

He's always loud. I wonder if it is a government trait or something like that. I must have not realized, but we ended up in some sort of metal junkyard. We were underneath a large flickering overpass that was surrounded by metal scraps overflowing in and around bins. I didn't see a streetlight, so I wonder if it was an image projection. They were highly illegal in the city. Why have I never seen a place like this?

"Experience IIII, Experience IIII, where are youuuu?" He screamed out once again. Who is this Experience IIII and why is it so necessary that I am here? It's not likely they will change anything. I will still be the same, feel the same. Nothing ever changes.

In the distance, I saw a person doing strange movements with their body. Right beside one of the bins full of trash. She wore bandages around her hands and her dark blue suit was cut off at the sleeves, with a white shirt and light blue tie. Her skin was dark, and she had long black hair but her eyes. They were green. Just like mine. 

"There you are! Why didn't you respond? You said that we were "friends", no? A bond between two people. That's no way to respond, but look, look! I found her." He presented me in front of this strange woman. I averted her gaze, but she didn't seem to look at me either. She stared at the ground. Why did she not look at me? Had she been too repelled to look at me?

"I was training. Besides, this image projection only lasts for a day at a time and they're always looking for me. I can't respond to everything you say. I, uh, I have to be safe. I never am. I don't feel safe." The woman responded. She approached us and stood in front of me. I took a step back and stood behind Dr. Vex. I could see her fidgeting and moving around, averting my gaze as well. Finally, she spoke. 

"Do you want to be friends?"

***