Humbling the Greedy

“Fifty cents for this?!” The old geezer had a vein swelling out of his head as he lifted up a single can of food. “What are you, insane?

I blew a bubble and popped it.

“Listen, pal…” I glared at him from behind the counter. “Times are tough. You know how many bots I had to take out to get that back here?”

“You’ll bankrupt me!” his fist slammed down on the counter. “We need food, and you’re over here sucking us dry of money!”

“I gotta put food on the table too, pal!” I shouted. “I don’t keep much of what I find, I sell it to you guys. So take or leave that price!”

“Gah!” the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a dime. “This is all I’m willing to pay!”

“You’re gonna’ have to cough up more than that, pal.” I opened and closed my grip in front of him, gesturing for more money. “Tell you what. I know you geezers need to eat something with your pills… I’ll knock it down to twenty five cents and throw in some applesauce, if you say please and thank you.”

That vein on his forehead swelled even further. He was pissed off as a dog. I loved pushing their pride to the max, then watching them succumb to a deal they couldn’t refuse.

“Fine! Please and thank you!” He slammed down a full quarter and growled at me. “You know, I remember when punks like you used to fight against this kinda greedy work.”

I gracefully took up the coin and inspected it, pleased to see it was genuine.

“Yeah, and most of them probably starved to death.” I pocketed the coin in my camo jacket, then handed over a small package of applesauce. “Pleasure doing business with you.” I made sure my voice was especially sweet, just to rub it in. He stomped off like an old troll.

People knew I was willing to give them pretty good deals… Probably the best in town. That’s why they all lined up outside my door on days I was open. Why else would they suffer me? But I wanted to make them work for things. The more they were willing to throw away their pride and dignity, the more I’d be willing to give them a fair price.

That wasn’t just me appeasing some sadistic fetish. I considered this revenge against a society that breeded greedy folks like that. At one point I did believe in sharing my scavenged items like some faith based charity, but I quickly realized how everyone here expected me to provide for them, like cats who never brought me back a gratuity catch.

What set me over the edge was when I saw a guy throw out a half eaten can of soup I worked hard to find, then he demanded more the next day.

From then on, I decided to make them pay for it, literally. When you pay for something, you're less likely to waste it. And just to add insult to injury, I rewarded those who were humble with cheap goods. I must have done something right, because that was when I finally had a healthy stock of food and medicine for my brother. He was my priority one.

If I could help it though, I was never going to turn anyone away. This world sucked ass. People needed food and other items, and I needed money. If I had too, I was willing to sell my stuff ridiculously cheap. I’m talking about single pennies.

However, not everyone needed the stuff they claimed to…

“Can you do twenty cents for two cups of that?” a young woman with a toddler in her arms pointed to a large can of baby formula. That was especially popular with women her age. I called them rabbits. Baby formula wasn’t cheap or easy to come by, but because it was powder, I usually handed it out for thirty cents a cup. She wanted two cups for twenty cents.

Naturally, she held her plump little tyke closely to try and earn my sympathy.

“Hey, little guy…” I started speaking to the baby. “Is it fair that your mommy thinks your food isn’t worth full price? She must not love you much.”

“Ugh!” the woman stomped her foot. “How dare you assume I don’t love my baby?”

“Well right now, you're using him as a bartering tool…” I leaned on the counter. “Actually, why do you even need any formula? He looks way too old for this stuff.”

This rabbit wasn’t being legit with me. I’ve seen this before. Her types come to shops like mine, demand to get products at a discount because their precious little pumpkins are starving, then sell it off to a desperate mother at exuberant prices.

Far as I could tell, that kid ate better than me.

“You know what?” the woman stomped off toward the door. “I’m going to tell everyone I know how horrible of a person you are! You’ll lose business for sure!”

I popped another bubble, waving as she left.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

If she really needed it, she would have fought for it. I wouldn’t even be surprised if that baby she was holding wasn’t even hers. Lousy scam artists.

That’s another reason I loved pissing people off. The ones who fought were the ones who needed it. If scammers saw I wasn’t a sucker right off the bat, then they’d just leave and look for the next scavenger to mooch off of. That’s just the world we lived in now.

Those were the most eventful people of the day. The other customers were pretty tame, which was kinda boring.

***

Once all my customers had shoveled out for the evening, I closed my doors and locked up for the day. I’d made about seven dollars in all, which was actually a little under the average. Most of it was going to go toward food, medicine and everyone's favorite thing…taxes. Uncle Sam was still alive and well, that old fart. That was what I called the mayor of our territory. Unfortunately, if I wanted to keep this shop running, I had to play his game.

When all was said and done, I had about three bucks profit. And most of that was going to go into upgrading some of my gear, especially getting new rope, so I really only made a net of one dollar. Some days it was less, some it was more. If I didn’t keep some of my salvage, I probably wouldn’t be able to save up much money.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't afford to be open all of the time. I could only get a few days a week for a few hours at most. All of my other time was spent scavenging for items, which sometimes had me out for days at a time.

Which reminded me… Now that I’d done my duty for the day, I had some competition to take out. That sneaky rat Rick was going down, and I promised to do it in three days. I didn’t just say that to sound cool, because I had a vague plan.

“Hostile takeover?” Aaron uttered as I talked with him over dinner. “How do you plan on making that work?”

“Rick’s shop is a lot better stocked and run then mine,” I said, “but that’s because he pays scavengers to go out and get him stuff he can sell. He also has employees that run things when he’s away.”

Aaron nodded along, catching my drift. “So you’re going to buy them out and have them work here?”

I pointed my fork at him and winked. “Exactly.”

Aaron wasn’t as business savvy as me, but he was a smart kid. I bounced all my idea’s off of him to try and see if anything sounded like it would stick.

“And you plan on doing this in three days?” he leaned forward, giving me an unsure gaze. “I like what you're trying to do, but that’s a lot of work.”

“Nah, it’s nothing,” I dabbed my lips with a napkin. “I know enough of that cuck's people. The biggest problem is making a deal with each of them.”

To sway people over to my side, I’d need to offer them better deals than Rick was. I had a few ideas of things I could offer, but no matter how I spun it, I'd have to make a little scavenging trip tomorrow.