Graduation Ceremony

Do you think there is an end to this? Do you think I, as a human, can survive this constant barrage of abuse, and manage to rise to be something that I always dreamed of, being heard by people?

In a summer, early in my 20s, someone said to me, "Let's make a band."

That sentence is the turning point in my life. We, as a group, was born right there and then we both grew artistically, in popularity, and as a person.

My pain and sorrows are heard throughout the nation, and people who suffer the same fate now have a beacon of hope, that someone who has gone through a similar situation can escape the circle of abuse.

It all culminates in our biggest achievement yet, performing in the biggest arena in the country, in front of hundreds of thousands of people. We sing along to a tune of depression, and it is a beautiful moment that I will never forget.

It's all because I found the people that knows me, my friends and bandmates.

I locked myself in the room for a whole month, making this. I have eyebags for my eyebags, lost a few kilos, and other complications of lacking sleep.

After reading it, I don't think it's as good as I thought it would be.

I put them online after I finish each chapter, barely anyone reads it.

The post-creation clarity destroyed all the excitement I had, it's all for nothing.

I-, no, this is not the end, I have yet to send the manuscript to a publisher, maybe it lacks marketing push and maybe the people there understand the appeal of my work.

"I'm going to the post office," I say to my mom.

I rushed to the post office near a high school. I can barely run this far after not going outside, but I need to do this. I am already at the front of the high school, just a few hundred meters away from the post office.

I stop, I can faintly hear the graduation ceremony song, today is the graduation day huh? The song gets louder and louder, and I am getting sucked more and more into it.

Yeah, this is my high school, isn't it?

I wish I could go back here, but I'm almost 30.

I wish they could lead a better life than me.

My insides are trying to throw what's left inside my stomach. I'm about to pass out.

I wake up inside a hospital, there is a girl sitting on the side of the bed.

I quietly say, "Sorry."

"Are you by any means Hanamori Ringo?"

"How do you know my name? Oh, it's written there."

"I'm a fan! I can't believe that you live in this town!"

My eyes are now wide open, I finally have a fan? Is this reality or am I still dreaming while passing out in front of a high school?

"I really like your stories, I have been following you since I was in middle school!"

My heart flew towards the sky.

"Your last novel, 'Less Than a Ghost' is I think your best work yet, it inspires me to keep drawing!"

I wake up from the bed, and hug her tightly, "Thank you." I think some tears managed to escape from my eyes as well. I immediately realized what I had just done, and let it go. "Sorry, I'm too excited"

She doesn't mind, and her smile gets bigger.

"What's your name?"

"Otsuka Chiaki."