Is It Me or Who?

One month passes, and nothing, not even a rejection mail.

Is it me or is it everyone else? I don't know.

Do I need to write something more appealing to the masses to have my words read? What even is it? Do I need to write a silly romance comedy? A harem degenerate fantasy? A reincarnation power fantasy? A mix of all?

Or

Am I just that bad? I don't know, I never heard anything, because no one reads it.

I mean, fine I'll give them what they want, I'll write a power fantasy story, I'll do it, I'll do it.

I was a living failure who tried to end myself by jumping from a cliff, but now I am summoned into another world by God to repent of the sin of suicide. It gave me an enormous amount of power, and a large kingdom to under my control because I was angry from my position in the society as a low class.

I can have everything I want, and no one can touch me.

I wish I could keep living in peace but, the empire next to us declared war on us.

Day and night, I am kept awake by the constant thoughts of what would happen, are there anyone below me that would betray me, are there assassins hiding somewhere?

Eventually, we won the war with our excellent strategy and sheer military strength.

Feelings of paranoia invade my mind, "what if the other countries see this as an opportunity to launch an attack, while we're exhausted?"

I mean we have the strongest military in the world, there is no way we would lose, but what if? As strong as we are, if there is a surprise attack, I don't think it will mean much because we can't respond fast enough.

So, we should launch a surprise first, right?

We keep pushing and expanding our control rapidly so that no one would have a chance to launch an attack on us until there is nothing under the sky that is not under our control.

By the end of it, I start to hear things, "These people, are your enemies." from my head.

At first, it was a little suspicion that came from me, they looked or acted suspicious, I questioned them, and when I couldn't find any proof, I'd release them.

But it grows more and more, I am scared of everyone, I have to react quick or else my head will be rolling on the ground.

The voice grows bigger each week, to each day, to each hour, until it fills my entire head.

I found a cliff at the coast and ended my life just like I ended my previous life.

I might have blown everything out of proportion in both lives, that's what I got. It's not that I am a loser, I overblown it, overthinking kills me.

That's what God was trying to tell me.

Now that I am a regular peasant, I'll try to fix it.

Another month passed by, and I am ready to send it. It turns out to be way more serious than I thought, but it is what it is.

Maybe I need a rest first though.