Unofficial

The days before the Solar Festival fly by too fast. Sol and I meet up regularly, exploring each public atmosphere one by one and working our way down to Public Atmosphere 2, the lowest number that tourists can explore, then make it a regular thing to have lunch in Centauri Park.

We kiss every time we meet up and every time we say goodbye.

Not that I’m counting.

He tells me about his parents, one of whom is a math professor and the other who works in food science. He shares his dream job—to work as a Universal Library Historian—and he overwhelms me with history fun facts that seem to bubble out of him at the slightest of triggers.

We hold hands a lot, and one day, he even sets up a real picnic, complete with a basket and checkered blanket. But still, nothing is official. He doesn’t ask me to be his girlfriend, and I don’t dare ask for it either. I just want to enjoy this, whatever it is, and the thought of ruining it by getting serious keeps me biting my tongue.

Tutoring with Nico continues as well, though it’s far from daily. We do maybe a couple more sessions and work my volunteer hour countdown to forty. It’s not great progress, but I’ll take it. Because Sol is here, and I don’t want to miss out on a single moment with him.

After a particularly hot day in the park with Sol, I collapse onto the floor of Tori’s room and sigh. “We should air condition the public atmospheres more,” I groan.

Zach laughs. “Okay, yes. Finally you say something I agree with.”

I pout at him. “What do you mean, ‘finally’?”

“Nothing,” he says, pouting back at me. “So what are we doing for the festival? Or are you ditching us for Sol?”

“Nooo,” Tori wails dramatically. “We should all go together. Don’t ditch us!”

I smile at her. “I won’t ditch you. That sounds great. We can do that double date you’re so obsessed with having.”

Tori’s brown eyes sparkle with warmth. “Yes! Let’s all ditch Zach!”

“What?!”

“You want to find an Earth girl, right? We’d just be holding you back anyway.”

Tori’s clearly kidding, but Zach takes her words very seriously. He taps his chin thoughtfully. “You know, maybe you’re right. If I walk around with two girls, the Earth girls might think I’m taken.”

“Please,” Tori says. “We’ll both be with our boyfriends. You’ll look clearly, pathetically single. Don’t worry.”

“Hey!”

I butt in softly. “Well, Sol isn’t exactly, or officially… my boyfriend.”

They both pause in their arguing to stare at me.

“What?” Tori says.

“But you guys have been on, like, a million dates,” Zach adds.

I purse my lips. “Yeah, well… we just haven’t talked about that.”

“What?!” Tori says again. She gapes at me. “Girl, you’ve gotta bring that up.”

“Yeah, girl,” Zach says, putting his hand on his hip and raising an eyebrow.

“Ugh, shut up, Zach.” Tori walks over to me, hovering over my collapsed form on the carpet. “He hasn’t asked you yet? But you guys still like… kiss and stuff, right?”

I nod.

“I knew that guy was a player,” Zach proclaims, a mix of triumph and protectiveness flashing across his face. “What is his problem? I’m bringing my guns to the festival!”

Tori and I both blink at him. “Your ‘guns’?”

“Yeah,” he says, deflating slightly. He taps each of his stringy arms. “Gunther and Little Zach.”

“Ew,” Tori says. “‘Little Zach’? Really?”

“You’re right,” he sighs. “Should’ve called it Big Zach.”

Tori turns to me. “But seriously, you need to have a conversation with him. I don’t care how shy he is or how shy you are; you can’t just live in limbo forever or you’ll never become official.”

“I know,” I whisper. I don’t know what to do about that. How to have that conversation. “What if I ask him and he says no?”

“Then you can stop wasting time with that fool,” Zach huffs.

“Are you seeing him again tomorrow?” Tori asks.

I nod.

“You have to say something, Petra. There’s no benefit to waiting at this point.”

She’s right. I know she’s right.

My Linx pings with a message from Nico, pulling my focus from the room.

My recorder solo sucks. Do you know how they grade it?

As I take a moment to reply, Tori and Zach start arguing about what to order for dinner. I try to tune them out as best I can.

Half-point reduction for every wrong note. But it’s more of an effort-based thing, so if a note is shaky or poorly timed, they’re pretty lax with that. Just hit the right notes in the right order and you’ll be fine.

Nico’s reply comes in fast.

Do you have time right now to listen? I want to run it by you.

I pause and glance over at Tori and Zach. Tori has him in a headlock now for some reason, shouting at him about pineapple while he refuses to relent.

“C’mon, Little Zach,” Tori taunts. “Is that the best you’ve got?!”

“That’s Gunther! Little Zach is the other arm!”

I text Nico back.

Okay. One sec.

I interrupt their fighting with a loud “Taking a call real quick,” and they stop what they’re doing, Tori releasing Zach from her grip. He drops to the floor, dramatically gasping for air.

“A call from who?” she asks with an eager grin.

“Just Nico. Don’t get all excited.”

“Nico?” Tori’s smile fades. “Don’t tell me he’s actually taking school seriously now.”

I shrug. “Kind of, yeah.”

Zach finally catches his breath and tilts his head curiously at me, his blond hair flopping to the side with him. “Oooo, Nico has a crush on Petra,” he teases.

“Ugh, shut up. No, he doesn’t.” I put my hand on my wrist tensely. “Okay, I’m taking the call. Don’t kill each other while I’m gone.”

“No promises,” Tori says, casting a wary glance to Zach, who returns her look with one of abject terror.

I call Nico.

He’s in the shed from before, standing over the work table this time. He’s got the recorder in hand, looking positively awkward and out of place with it.

“Don’t laugh” is the first thing he says. “I suck.”

There’s something almost endearing about his nervousness. “I won’t laugh,” I promise, knowing full well that I just might.

Then he takes a deep breath and plays. But it’s not “Greensleeves.” It’s a segment of “Moonlight Sonata.” I become very still and find myself listening with rapt attention. This is my song, I can’t help but think possessively, as if it isn’t everyone’s song to some degree. And though the record playing is awkward and slow, he doesn’t make any major mistakes. He moves through it languidly, even holding some notes where appropriate. When he’s done, he looks at me expectantly, but I can’t think of anything to say. I just stare.

“That bad?” he asks. A faint blush colors his otherwise pale face, his discomfort clear.

I shake my head. “No… no… it was good. Full marks.”

A smile crosses his face, and it’s surprisingly innocent. Actually happy. Genuine. Not a hint of bite. “Yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah.” We stare at each other for a moment longer. “Why did you pick that song?”

He blinks, shrugs. “I don’t know. I just did. Why?”

“No reason.” Then, maybe against my better judgment, I ask him a question I probably shouldn’t ask. Because one more opinion can’t hurt, right? “If you liked a girl, would you ask her to be your girlfriend?”

His mouth falls open in surprise, and then the mean smile is back as he laughs aloud. “What?”

“Nevermind.”

“No, no, wait. I just… didn’t expect you to ask that.” He shakes his head, shaking away his grin until his expression turns pensive. “I guess it depends. We’d have to know each other first. And we’d have to have a pretty good connection. Then, if I thought she’d say yes, yeah, I’d ask.”

I nod stiffly. Even Nico would? My stomach sinks. Then why hasn’t Sol?

“How many dates have you and Sol gone on?” he asks. My eyes snap up to his. Of course my question was transparent.

“Almost every day since we first met,” I admit quietly.

His eyebrows shoot up, and he lets out a low whistle. He sets the recorder down on the work table and crosses his arms. “Petra, Petra, Petra,” he says. Then after a moment, he adds, “Personally, I would have asked you within a minute of our first kiss.”

He thinks Sol should’ve asked me at the museum?

That would’ve been nice. I’ll admit that. But it also hurts to hear.

“Thanks,” I mutter. “Talk to you later.” His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to say something, but I hang up the call before he can.

I have to talk to Sol.