Inevitable

Forget personality tests: moments like that reveal if you're an extrovert or not.

Guitar guy had a mic nanotech’d up right in front of his face. Clearly a born performer, he seized his moment, while jaws were still to the floor.

“Weeelllllh, talk about stealing my thunder! Ladies and gentlemen, we have the very living Adem, the Second Coming, right in front of us!”

Everyone started cheering and clapping. People started touching me: “Ah, he’s real, he’s really real!”

Little did they know how I felt about that.

I saw people were videoing this on their holophones, sharing it rapidly with the rest of the world. The dead was going live.

“Speak! Speak! SPEAK!” The crowd started chanting. So much for giving me time and space.

“Up you come, Adem. If you please, sir.”

I climbed onto the raised platform. A nanomic cristallised a few inches in front of my face.

Deep breath…

My father was an excellent public speaker. He could wow crowds and functions. I was more like my mother, uncomfortable with that sort of attention. However, I had watched him many times and he had always told me: “If you’re nervous, don’t try and hide it. Just speak from the heart.”

Yes Da, I’ll do that, I’ll channel you. I’m still your son.

“Hey there. It’s your granddad, finally getting down with the kids.”

Laughter and applause.

“You’ll have to excuse me; my hip is hurting a bit and my haemorrhoids are burning something fierce! Unlike with you perfect specimens. I…I didn’t have a speech prepared for the watching world, funnily enough! But can I just apologise for the…the disguise. I just came for a sneaky drink! You’re all really lovely but this is all new to me and I…”

They felt for me.

“It’s great you’re with us!” someone shouted out. “You’re awesome.” This was the epitome of imposter syndrome.

“No - You’re awesome. All of you. I’m the least in this room.” Why is it always about me? So sick of me.

Voices piped up to disagree.

But I had a sudden revelation: My weakness was my strength. The least of all in the room, and  the most selfish, self-absorbed of all, realised that it actually wasn’t about him.

I heard my Da’s voice: prevail.

Deep breath snatched again, and I started.

“This is what I’ve learned about you in two months. Here in 2118…” I coughed. “Here in 2118, you have created a world we never thought possible back in my time. Here in 2118, people are happy and when they ask how you are, they really mean it from deep inside. Here in 2118…supply and demand doesn’t rule the world, love and friendship do. People aren’t statistics, they live and breathe and support each other. Here in 2118, government is by the people, for the people. Technology isn’t developed to massacre, to dominate – it’s to empower and liberate. And the most important thing of all: in 2118, how you all are, inside, is what you bring into this world every single second and each and every one of you are making it awesome.”

They loved that. As I looked outwards, I caught Blue’s eye. She wasn’t showing the happiness that the others were. It was like she was – we were – acknowledging something together. Things had changed.

Looking into her, I carried on:

“I hurt someone today, someone I care about deeply. For them, and for all of you, I will learn, and try – no, I will become a better person. I’m only starting to understand what you expect of me, and I will try and live up to it. I really am the least amongst you. And…thank you for the guitar, that was a really wonderful and kind thing to do for someone. Belinda, thank you for everything.”

The crowd were a little confused but clapped anyway.

Blue looked tearful but was nodding her head. She knew that I now understood the role I had been cast in.

My purpose had chosen me. Responsibility – I had to take it.

I saw Blue mouth three words at me.

“I know,” I said to her and everybody, “I know you all love the news, right? I heard it for the first time today. Heard all about your netball! And they kindly said to give me a little space while I got used to things. I need that space. It’s selfish of me to ask you for patience when I have so little myself. And ask for even more when you’ve already brought me back to life and given me so much. I am so much in your debt, it’s ridiculous. But enough about boring me! Can you all cheer for the great members of the hospital facility – some of whom are here right now amongst us – they are awesome people.”

The cheers rang out. More hyperbolic comments I tried to ignore.

“What would you say to the Sect?”

“Do we have a member of the press in the audience tonight?” They laughed at that. “I wouldn’t say anything.”

“NOTHING AT ALL?”

“Not at this minute. I would listen to them before anything else. As brothers and sisters.”

The crowd seemed thoughtful. I was going to quote Dr Fisher.

“As someone wise told me, we have a duty of care to everyone. We can’t make exceptions. That’s when the poison starts creeping in, everywhere. That’s what life was like before Kazikawa led you forward. That was the world I lived and died in, that blew itself to bits. Have you not learned from us? Is history doomed to repeat itself?”

“NO!” The crowd was whipped up. I was speaking, it was me but not me, not in my body, not anywhere at all.

“No is right. Say it with me – long live The Sect! SAY IT!”

“Long live the Sect.”

“MAKE THEM HEAR YOU! KEEP THE POISON OUT!”

“LONG LIVE THE SECT!” That was going to make a hell of a soundbite.

“Long live Kazikawa!”

“LONG LIVE KAZIKAWA, FATHER OF OUR WORLD!”

“Long live all of you, I love you all.”

“LONG LIVE ADEM!”

I was out. The Pound Shop Jesus had spoken.

I came off stage. My back was slapped, I was touched, high-fived, hugged – you name it. Guitar Guy refocused everyone. “Attention! Hey!” The well-mannered mob turned back to him. “Well, how do I follow that? I can’t,” he said, comically throwing his guitar over his shoulder. It hit the bass drum with a thump. The crowd laughed, he shrugged widely, and smiled at me. This guy should have been in my place.

I think he spied the weariness in my eye, and my growing anxiety, and said “I’ll never forget tonight, and I’m sure you all won’t. But, please, give this guy some space. Show him the respect he deserves, got that, folks?” People clapped their responses politely, like they were watching the conclusion of a rather interesting game of croquet, and moved a little back from me.

He deactivated his mic. “Hey, Adem. Good job. Just need some fish and loaves of bread, now!”

This guy was so sharp! “What’s your name?” I whispered conspiratorially to him. He was MC Robbie.

“Robbie…It’s kind of obvious but – I’m going to need your help, all kinds of help, and then some.”

He gasped in surprise – then the happy, confident act resumed. “I’m not sure that’s true, you could go crowd-surfing on them now they’re so wrapped around your finger – but if you need me, absolutely! Hit me up, boss, find me on my socials, I’m for hire.”

“You’re hired. I’ll be in touch.” I shook his hand and got off the stage.

Robbie eventually put his gauntlets back on, plugged his guitar in again and started playing with the band, who were also wearing those strange gauntlets. Someone kindly explained to me that the funky gloves were heavy in AI-tech and allowed the wearer to play like the ghosts of Hendrix, Moon, Pastorius or whomever. I was immediately impressed and horrified at the same time, as I think all musicians from my era would be, and I struggled not to make a negative comment.

As Adem, I’m going to have to be a good boy from now on…

People still came up to me, shaking my hand and wishing me well. They could sense I was utterly exhausted. I was drowning in their well wishes. And hating myself for hating it.

Blue eventually came up to me. She tried to speak, but words didn’t come from her for a little while.

“Predictably amazing,” she said. “Even if you can’t see it.” And quickly turned her face away.

I waited for her. Downcast and deflated, she solemnly exchanged holomasks with me, enabling my escape. “Look after yourself, okay? You know where I am.” 

Blue kissed me on the cheek, then turned away.

Walked away.