‘END’ AND ‘AND’

Every romantic story typically ends with the classic 'happily ever after' - the hero getting together with their heroine, some stories don't follow the typical pattern but that's generally what they do. You might find a heartfelt confession somewhere with marriage, parenthood or old age at another. While some love stories just leave us wondering who will ultimately be chosen. But in my case, it’s the opposite. The end of my love was like a whirlwind of emotions so drastic that I am documenting my life right now.

But "THE END"?? Saying that might be overly ambitious, After all, how can something truly end before it even begins? How can I let go of something I'm too scared to fully acknowledge? You see, she was everything that I thought I couldn't ever have.

Oh #@&% !! See how easily I deviated from what I was talking about. You might be wondering where all these inner monologues lead to, Well currently I am walking to her wedding. Yes, to her wedding and stop calling me an idiot you idiot. This is the only time I’ve allowed myself to be so melodramatic so calling me names and let me just unravel my thoughts. (Okay now don’t take offence at the 'you idiot' you know I love you all)

As I walk, my mind drifts back to all those memories we had or the ones that could have been ours. All this nostalgia and possibilities are pulling my heartstrings and making me feel overwhelmed. The weight of a life without her is crushing me, or maybe it's just a massive hangover. Why another, you might ask? That's because I had one when they got engaged and another one yesterday. And that's how I broke my father's age-old rule of drinking, not once but twice!! Well, sorry Dad but I feel like I am ongoing a midlife crisis (at 27!!!) at the moment so nothing else truly matter.

The rain was drizzling softly atop my umbrella and my hands trembling let it go. Even the heavens seemed to conspire with the will of heart and was pleading for my tears. Yet, even as mother sorrow beckons herself before me, my love with all its complexities has taught me and is asking for me to learn the art of letting the love of my life go - well predominantly it was all her.

My affection for her wasn't mere desire, it was about her happiness, success and freedom to live and love without bounds. Maybe this notion is merely my sense of belief and guilt manifesting from my inadequacies of seeing the love that existed between us and reconciling the fact that she would soon belong to someone else. Someone who will wake up with her, see her smile, shower and pamper her with affection and cherish every moment they have together.

By the way, can you tell me how many words have I managed to spill as of now? Hello, BRaiN* answer how many dammit.

<IT'S 2748 NOW>

<NOW 2761.>

<SIR IT IS ALMOST 3000>

*BRaIN - Biological Responsive Artificially Integrated Neurons