Entry Regulations for Dragons

I think it appropriate to start with the reason I write this. The inciting incident, that led me to purchasing first a notebook and a quill, then gathering up a bunch of loose paper to take notes, because I wanted this notebook to be perfect, then looking if I couldn’t have someone invent typewriters or any quicker way to write anything down.

I could use magic to make the quill move, and I do that to take notes, but it feels ... impersonal.

Even if I don’t have the quill write down my exact thoughts though, I get distracted easily. I apologize.

I work for what could best be described as a fantasy immigration department. Particularly, my job is to control entry and customs. That mostly consists of adequately preparing people of races other than human for life in a human city. Up until a couple years ago, my job also consisted of negotiating peace treaties with the other races or people from other nations, but this is rarely an issue nowadays. The nations we have already formed a pact with meet up once a year to renegotiate, if there is any need for that, but that is about it.

It is a pretty relaxed job.

But also a pretty exciting one, as I get to meet all different kinds of people every day.

You know what, I am going to tell you what a typical workday looks like for me.

I know that back in my old world traveling from one country to another is roughly the same for everyone. Living in a fantasy world however is so much more fun, because humans are not the only ones traveling.

For example, what do you do about dragons the size of houses?

And what do you do when that dragon has been in deep slumber for a couple centuries and thus has no way of knowing the laws in place?

That’s what happened a couple weeks ago, and it was disastrous.

It was during the late morning. I had just gotten into the routine of waving through elves, vampires, lesser dragons, spirits, elementals, etc. Explaining to the new ones how to behave in the city and what spots best accommodated for their needs. (Vampires for example, just like it was said in my old world, preferred to stay out of sunlight, so I recommended them hotels made specifically for nocturnal creatures, and gave them the quick guide for the newly built caves district.)

“First time in the city?” I asked the vampire girl before me.

For such an occasion we would move to a separate darkened room. The vampire girl had taken the same midi-dragon-carriage as every other passenger. The way transport works was that the kingdom erected hubs all over the continent, in which dragons can land to pick up passengers, then fly to the next hub. Passengers get out, passengers get in, rinse and repeat. It’s more like a train than a plane though, despite the flying. Maybe one day I can get flight attendants arranged, if we someday manage to do long-distance flights. But since we only established this system few years ago, it is still rather rudimentary.

“Yes, it is my first time,” the girl in front of me replied.

“Alright. May you please fill in this form?” I asked while getting out a stack of papers clipped together from under my desk.

“Um ...” The girl looked at the form with hesitation. “Actually, I, uh, can’t read your script.”

She must be young then, I figured. Most likely she grew up during the time period when the races were still waging war with each other. Those vampires who were more than a thousand years old still knew the time when the races used to mingle with each other, and animosity was a matter of being a good person and not where you were born. Most of those vampires used to be able to read human script but as the races drifted apart from one another, people stopped teaching their children the language of the other races.

Considering this, it was amazing how fluent her speech was, though that might simply have been translation magic at work.

“No worries, we can go through this form together one by one,” I offered, adding forms in multiple languages to my long check list of things to help improve our service. “Sadly, we haven’t managed to get a hold of a vampire translator yet. So, if you know anyone who would be willing to help out, that would be much appreciated.”

“Of course. I might be able to ask my teacher, but despite knowing the language he doesn’t seem to be all too interested in his own work. He only was willing to teach me for an extraordinary sum of money, as well as special blood deliveries.”

“Is that why you are here?” I asked. I wasn’t too surprised to hear this. Most vampires have a very lackadaisical attitude about anything really. I guess being alive for a couple thousand years really does a number on you. In fact, vampires were one of the species least likely to visit the city. I don’t really expect it to change any time soon. But this is sadly also the reason why vampiric accommodation is still lacking in some departments.

“Oh no, I am here to visit an old friend of mine. She has been living in the city for a couple dozen years, and as soon as the message of the city opening its gates to everyone started spreading, she sent me a letter, asking me to visit her. So, I started learning the human language and now I am here.”

“That is quite impressive!”

“Thank you, but I still haven’t quite gotten the hang of it. Reading is so hard! Why do you have so many letters! And why can one letter be a different sound totally at random!”

I let out a chuckle.

“That reminds me of when I started learning the human language. It was also quite the chore but after a couple years when I realized I’ve read a newspaper without having to ask my wife for help I felt very accomplished.”

“Wait, are you not human?”

“Oh, I am, but where I come from, I speak a different language.”

“Well, then how did you do it?”

“Well, living in a human city for one helped a lot, but I also went to school to learn. Took me a long, long time, but after a while I managed.”

I should maybe add that what I am telling her does not 100% refer to learning the language of this world. When I first arrived here, I already spoke the human language, so I only needed to learn the script. What was hard though was learning English back in my old world. I do not know how the inventor of this language thought it was a good idea to only have 26 letters, but then have like twice as many sounds. But moving to England for college proved – surprise – very beneficial for learning that country’s language.

“You know, in my daughters’ school I saw a poster for language classes for adults a while ago,” I added. “If you plan on staying in the city for a while, you might want to check this class out. If you are serious about this language, and getting around the city on your own, I think you should take classes.”

The vampire girl contemplated this idea for a bit, scratching her chin.

“Well, I was planning on staying for a few months, and since my friend has work to do anyway, I think I’d find some time to spare.”

“Great! If you want, you could come back to my office tomorrow and I can gather all the information you need. I guess money shouldn’t be an issue? Sadly, adult schooling is rather pricy.”

“That really is not a problem.”

“Great. Anyway, let’s move on to the form now.”

“Oh dear, I am so sorry for keeping you from doing your job.” She held a hand in front of her mouth as an apologetic gesture. She seemed unusually humble for a vampire.

“Hahah, no need to apologize. Getting to know the people is half the fun of the job. Now then ...” I dipped the quill that had already dried into the ink once more.

“May I ask you for your name?”

Kind of weird to be asking for someone’s name this late into the conversation, but alas ...

“Babylonia.”

That certainly was a name.

I made the quill write down the name by itself and proceeded to ask her the remaining questions. Standard stuff like date of birth, place of birth, expected stay, planned residence in the city et cetera. The fun part came on the second page.

“Are you shape-shifting during your stay in the city?”

“Shape-shifting?” She asked rather dumbfounded. “I had heard shape-shifting falls under identity theft and is therefore illegal ...”

“Oh, that is true for most human cities. We have special exceptions however, if, say, you are a dragon and thus would not be able to live among humans due to your size, or if you as a vampire have a fear of frightening people due to your appearance.”

The bat-like wings on her back twitched at this comment and she self-consciously reached for her hair to touch the long horns protruding from her head.

“Well ... that makes sense ...”

“There is no need to hide your appearance, however you should expect people to be uneasy around your true form,” I said. Maybe it was a bit too matter-of-fact, but that was the truth.

“So, you think I should shape-shift into a more human form?”

“That is up to you!” I objected without a second of hesitation. “You know, the more people appear in their actual form, the more people will get used to this sight. So actually, I would prefer you to go out in your usual form. This city has only been welcoming vampires for a few years, you know?”

“That is true. I always forget how differently you humans experience time ... Alright then, I will go out in my usual form.”

“Great!” I checked NO for the shape-shifting question and skipped to the end of the form.

“Well, then I would just need you to sign this form, and you are done.”

“Is it okay if I write my name in vampire script?”

“Well, it’s your signature. Most of the human ones are unreadable anyways.”

She chuckled. “That goes for vampire ones as well,” she commented as she fished the quill out of the air and wrote her name in fancy serifs onto the paper.

“Great, any more questions then?” I already told her about the cave district, and the usual stuff about where best to go as a vampire.

“No, that’s it.”

“Great, then I will get you some information for a language school by tomorrow.”

“That is much appreciated.”

What I was doing was honestly stretching what my actual job was, but I felt a deep sense of satisfaction knowing these people felt safe and welcome in our city.

“By the way, on the way out you will come across a couple of shops. Since you are a vampire, you might want to pick a sunhat especially made for nocturnal creatures.”

“A sunhat?”

“It has a wide brim, specifically made to protect you from the sun. It’s nice if you want to go out and explore the city during daytime.”

Yes, I am recommending the over-priced souvenir shop our hub has to offer. But she can afford it.

“Thank you for the tip. I am looking forward to exploring the city!” She said as she rose from her seat.

“Have a nice stay, and until tomorrow.”

“Until tomorrow!” Babylonia left the room after saying goodbye.

“Well then ...” I took out a paperweight and wrote the words “language school” on it, before placing it in the top right corner of the desk, together with Babylonia’s entry form. The paper weights were actually post-it notes with a gravity spell on them. Quite handy.

Just as I was about to leave the office to welcome the next traveler the sirens went off. I let them blare for a couple seconds before figuring it most likely wasn’t a misfire. I looked at my old armor standing against a wall in my office, promptly deciding against wearing it for the occasion. If the threat was big enough to warrant the sirens it would wipe me out in one fell swoop anyway. And I wanted to make my intent of communicating instead of fighting clear by wearing casual clothes.

I ran out of my office, where my co-workers/subordinates were directing the newly-arrived towards the nearest shelter. I plucked one Garrett from among them and asked him what was going on.

“Unauthorized flying object nearing our city. Looks like a Giant Dragon.”

We classified dragons into three different size categories. Mini-Dragons, Midi-Dragons, and Giant Dragons. Mini-Dragons ranged anywhere from palm-sized to human-sized, Midi-Dragons went up to the size of a house and also were the ones we were hiring to fly in visitors. Giant Dragons were everything above that. Most of them needed their own mountain for housing. Treasure and everything.

So yeah, Giant Dragon, most likely very dangerous, but also thankfully you can talk with them. If they don’t read your attempts at catching their attention as a declaration of war.

“Have you readied the Midi-Dragon fleet?”

Having fellow dragons under our command usually was the best way to make clear there wasn’t any hostility towards the Giant.

“Just a minute before the alarm a carrier landed. He is already in position.”

“Great.”

I ran towards the gate. (Yes, I adopted that terminology from my old world.) The dragon in question was already waiting for me.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I asked. You gotta do some small talk to ensure you are good with your team after all. That’s one thing I learned from real life and playing Dragon Age.

“Tired from the flights but that should be a piece of cake.”

I took a look through the gate to see a murky shape in the distance. The Giant most likely wouldn’t pass the city border for another minute. I could see the now mostly empty streets from above. Thankfully, the people had gotten used to the alarm by now. I still remember the despair during the first siren some time after the war had ended. People thought it was over, and then it seemed like the war would just start anew.

I approached the Midi-Dragon, who lifted me onto his back using one of his hands. I laid down on my stomach and dug my fingers into his scales because there really was no other way of holding onto him. I could have grabbed onto the horns of his head, but that wasn’t an option for what we were going to do.

“Good to go?” He asked me.

“Ready for take-off,” I replied.

Using all four of his limbs the dragon took a leap ahead and after a short fall the flap of his wings made him surpass the height of our hub. I was pressed against his back the entire time due to physics.

I tried to look past the Midi-Dragon’s head to see how far away the Giant Dragon was, but I couldn’t really tell.

“How far away is he?” I shouted against the wind.

“About to cross the city border I think,” he growled back.

“Send him a signal!”

The Midi-Dragon halted in mid-air, threw his head back and sent a white flame into the air above us. The dragons’ equivalent of a white flag and also the reason I couldn’t hold onto his horns.

The dragon stopped the fire and now looked ahead, slowly ascending up and down with the beating of his wings. I tried sitting up and after a wobbly step I managed to maintain my balance standing on the dragon’s back. That was quite frankly one of the most fun parts of my job.

I looked ahead and saw the black Giant Dragon much, much closer to us than imagined.

Oh no, he was way bigger than I would have thought.

“Should I make another fire?” The Midi-Dragon asked me.

“No, let’s first try approaching him.”

The Giant Dragon seemed to guess our intent. So, shortly after we started moving towards him, he also just hovered in mid-air.

I had my hands clasped together above my head and after separating them a white banner of light appeared in between of them. This was the human white flag, I guess. Like that, we got closer to the dragon and came to a halt just meters from his face. Which, mind you, was as big as the Midi-Dragon I was standing on.

“ARE YOU THE LEADER OF THIS HUMAN SETTLEMENT?!” He growled with a bass that hopefully didn’t make any of the older buildings in the city collapse. The wind from his breath made me lose my foothold, and I landed on my stomach again, grabbing onto the Midi-Dragon’s scales as to not fall off.

“Yes, I am! But please, could you talk more quietly, you almost blew me off here!” I shouted back, caring more about my survival than etiquette.

“Apologies, human master, I have switched to telepathy. I was in such a long slumber that I haven’t regained proper control over my voice yet.”

“Apologies accepted,” I said in an exasperated sigh. I crawled upwards a bit, until I managed to stand up again.

“So, you said you just woke up?”

“Yes, I’ve been in a very long slumber, I couldn’t tell you for how long though. I have to say it is quite the surprise though, having a human trying to talk to me. Those in my time would either wet themselves trying to escape or break their weapons on my hard scales.”

“I do not intend to do either, that’s for sure.” I managed to squeeze out a chuckle. I mean, that wasn’t the first Giant Dragon I met. Though, sadly, he might be one of the first to not be slain by my hand.

“Say, how about I put you up to speed? A lot has changed even over the past few years.”

“That would be appreciated, I feel like I slept through something very big.”

How big that thing the Giant Dragon slept through really was, he couldn’t know at the moment.

“Let’s meet again in a couple minutes on the field outside of the city. It’s in the direction you came from. There we should be able to talk undisturbed.”

“I’ll be waiting,” the dragon said, as he turned around and flew off.

I ordered the Midi-Dragon to turn around and fly back to the hub. As soon as we landed, I noticed the sirens have already been turned off.

“I assume everything is fine?” Garrett asked me.

“Yes, it’s just another case of a dragon sleeping through major historical events”, I chuckled. “I am going to grab the entry form for him and then meet him outside the city to explain what happened over the last couple years.”

***

“So, there has been a decade-long war? And I slept through all of it?”

“Yes, there was, and yes, apparently you did.”

“Such a shame.”

He looked really upset about having missed ... a war. Yeah, I don’t get it either.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything special. You barely missed anything of significance, ahahah.” I tried to console him, I guess. Dragons really are a completely different breed.

“So, what exactly happened for there to be war?”

“I don’t know exactly. The war was already going on when I was ... born. And it wasn’t really a war per se, it was just lots and lots of animosity between the people of all the races.”

“But surely you must have heard about the final battle that ended the war then!” The black dragon laid in front of me, his snout placed on his front paws- I mean hands! He sure had an attitude like a dog though. Thankfully, he didn’t wag his tail, or he might have wiped out the entire species of trees growing nearby. As for me, I was sitting on top of the Midi-Dragon, who decided to take a nap on top of a mountain, so that we could talk properly.

Anyway, I felt like some sort of storyteller.

“There wasn’t a final battle.”

The black dragon’s eyes widened at that revelation.

“What do you mean! What kind of a war was it then, that it could be resolved without a final fight!”

“The war was ended peacefully through means of diplomacy by the human princess Zenia and her knight Jordan!” I tried to make this sound as epic and heroic as possible, simply because the dragon brought such an excitement with him, that I wanted him to be satisfied! I had almost as much fun as telling bedtime stories to my kids.

“Hahaha,” the black dragon gave off a bellowing laugh at this. He was still using telepathy for communication, but his facial expressions always fit whatever he said. In other words: I got a genuine laugh from him. “Humans talking for once, instead of trying to murder whatever appears to be different from them. Interesting.”

Sadly, what he said was true for this world as well. I was telling the truth about not knowing what had started this war, by the way. Through my daughters going to school, I’ve come to known what is said to the people about the war, but speaking from my own experience I wouldn’t be surprised if that was all a bunch of crap. But repairing dozens of damaged relationships between nations and species was probably the best outcome for everyone.

“Well, of course we are not on good terms with everyone. But we’ve gotten far enough, that our city is now known as the melting pot of the world. A place where everyone is welcome.” I decided to spread my arms in a grand gesture.

“Except I am too big for your tiny human houses, hahahah,” the dragon laughed again.

“Yeah, that is a problem, but it is also the reason why most of the bigger species shape-shift into something smaller. You’d be surprised at how many dragons actually live in the city.”

“Shape-shifting magic? Boy, if anyone would have thought about that during my times, that sure would’ve lead to less crisp humans, hahahah.”

Yeah, I don’t know what to make of his sense of humor either.

“Well, I am sure that a visit in the city would be quite the change of pace for you, right? I assume this must be the longest conversation you have ever had with a human.”

“Indeed. I tend not to associate too much with humans, they tend to die on me too quickly ... That reminds me however of a couple of my vampire and witch friends ... I wonder if they are still around.”

“I could help you find them,” I offered. “There are a few witches and vampires in our city. If you tell me their names I could see whether they are here, or have visited our city at some point.”

“Such a curious city ...”

“But for that I’d need to ask you to shape-shift into a smaller form. It doesn’t even need to be human if you want people to still recognize you as a dragon.”

“I actually used to shape-shift into a human-like shape back in the day, so let me just-” As he said that he rose onto all fours. As he closed his eyes and let out a loud and warm huff through his nose, he very quickly began to shrink. As he got smaller his hands left the ground, his claws became more delicate, and his wings took on a smaller form reminiscent of elf wings, though still as scaly as his dragon self. He sprouted jet-black hair on his head, and most of the scales disappeared, save for some spots, in which a human would usually have body hair.

And no, I don’t mean his pubes.

...

At least not only.

As his transformation neared its end, I jogged and slid down the hill.

“Wow, you’re hot,” I said, coming to a halt in front of him. “And I am not saying that because you can breathe fire.”

“Hahah, you got the humor of a dragon, my friend!” He exclaimed, this time with his actual voice. Or rather his human voice. While he appeared very mature, his voice had a youthful and pleasant ring to it. So, while his humanoid form very much had the same aura as his dragon form, his demeanor was almost the opposite.

“Well then, before we head on to the city: May I get your name for the papers?” I asked, bringing out the form, quill and ink from my leather bag, having it float in front of us.

“My name is Crimson.”

I know, an unfitting name for a black dragon.

“They called me that after all the blood my dying enemies left on my scales.”

Don’t worry! He’s a good guy!

***

After the paperwork was done, we flew back to the city. Me of course on the Midi-Dragon’s back, Crimson using his own wings.

We landed in the hub, where I was immediately greeted by Garrett, who was just helping out another group of passengers arriving.

“Ah, you are back! I assume this is ...” He gave Crimson a quick glance.

“Yep, this is Crimson. He will be staying in our city for some time.”

“Welcome.”

“Th- thank you!” Crimson didn’t quite know what to do with himself. I guess he wasn’t really used to being treated that way.

“Oh! My! God!” Suddenly we were greeted by loud fangirlish screams.

It was a woman maybe in her late-twenties, who had just gotten out of her carriage. She was wearing odd, possibly fancy clothing consisting of a sunhat and a wide dress and blouse with a black tie. Quite frankly it reminded me of some old-fashioned dolls. Behind her she dragged a huge suitcase, one that easily could fit another human inside.

“Are you that huge black dragon that we saw on our flight?!” She seemed awfully excited, but it was a different kind of excited than the other passengers exhibited, when they realized it really was that big, scary dragon from earlier. I could hear some gasps and noticed a few people taking a couple steps back.

“Well-spotted! Indeed! It is I!”

That dragon could barely make all that ego fit in his human form.

“And you!”

It was my turn it seemed.

“You flew on the back of another dragon to save your people?!”

“That ... kind of is what I did!” I still didn’t know how to handle praise. It just seemed so misplaced when directed at me. Back at my old job it was nothing unusual for me to get praised by a lot of different kinds of people, but I always felt undeserving, because in the end I only did it for my own selfish reasons. I mean, even in this case, a Giant Dragon destroying the city would have really inconvenienced me.

“I need to know everything about it! Are you free for an interview?” She asked me and I noticed her already taking out a fancy fountain pen and a notebook out of a tiny purse, that honestly seemed as if it was made to just store these two items and nothing else.

“I ... sure! We just need you to fill in your entry form ma’am?” This whole situation really caught me off-guard. I had nothing like this happen to me before! Usually, I was the one doing the interviews ...

“Oh, of course.”

It suddenly became awfully silent. She really had enough energy to make it seem like we were in a room full of people despite it only being the three of us at this point.

She made some tiny hand motion, and I realized I should now do the talking.

“Oh, follow me, please! My office is this way,” I said and pointed towards my door.

I fished for one of my coworkers/subordinates and asked them to guide Crimson towards the exit.

“Oh, and if you ever have any questions, do not hesitate to visit me in my office,” I offered Crimson, just after the woman had entered my room. I know at this point it seems like a generic phrase I say to everyone, like small talk with a Walmart employee, but I genuinely meant it. Maybe it is just me living out my god-complex, playing a real-life city builder or something.

...

I’m joking.

...

No, but honestly, it feels so great and satisfying to be creating something!

...

Anyway, I’ll shut up now and get back to the story.

“So, your first time in the city?” I asked the woman who had already made herself comfortable in the chair in front of me.

“Yes,” she answered plainly.

“Then we will have to fill in your first entry form,” I said fishing for said form. “Your name?”

“Martina. My name is Martina.”

“Occupation?” I don’t know why I was filling the form in for her, considering she appeared to be human. Maybe it was being confronted with so many different species that couldn’t write human script that day.

“Author.”

“Oh,” I uttered before writing it down. “Well, now you wanting to interview me makes much more sense. Is it for a book?”

“Exactly,” she answered and as if she just remembered again, she took out her fountain pen and notebook. Interestingly she did not seem to use any magic for writing, instead just placing the notebook in front of her.

“Ever since the war ended I have been traveling around, visiting different nations, living with different species, noting down every experience. Of course, spicing it up a bit.”

“Oh really, have I maybe heard of your books?”

“Maybe! One is called ‘Fantastic Restaurant Guide.’ Mostly it’s just about where to find the best food in which city, the other one is called ‘Chronicles of a Traveler.’”

“Oh, I heard of that last one!” I haven’t really gotten around to reading any books over the last years, but every time I came near a bookstore ‘Chronicles of a Traveler’ was on display, front and center. Apparently, it just is what it says in its title: A guy traveling through our world and talking about various experiences.

“Wait a minute, isn’t the author a man? Martin Colt or something like that? And the protagonist too!”

“Yeah, well, according to my publisher people prefer these kinds of books written by a man starring a man ...”

“Oh crap, that is so sad.”

“Eh well, maybe I owe my success to that.”

“I wish I could console you in any way, but I haven’t gotten around to reading the book, so I’d need to lie, hahaha.”

“Oh, would you like a copy?”

“Huh?”

She was already rummaging about her human-sized suitcase and fished out a copy of her book.

“Here you go.”

“Um, I feel bad about this.”

“Oh no, don’t! After all, I wrote this book for people to read. Traveling around the world, taking in all these different experiences and impressions is fun, but what really got me going was telling these stories to my friends and family at home. And now, not only those close to me can take in these little pieces of our huge world.”

What Martina said struck a chord with me. I too, every day when I get home and eat dinner with my family, I tell them about all those weird and wonderful people I met.

“I- thank you, I’ll make sure to read this book. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll read one of mine.”

“I will be looking forward to it.” She gave me a gentle smile.

“Now, may I ask you for your name?” She added.

“Jordan.”

***

It was an unusually busy day. I met an unlettered [JP1] vampire, an unworldly dragon, and a famous author. This would be quite the story to tell my family. And in that moment, it hit me.

The sun had already begun to set, so I knew I had to hurry up. I started jogging down the stairs from my office, onto the ground floor of our hub. It was sort of like a shopping mall, with all sorts of different stores. Thankfully the stationary store that supplied us with paper, quills, and ink was still open. I bought a notebook and I decided to just this once be a bit extra and also purchase a fountain pen with it.

I arrived at home a lot giddier than people might expect. And also, maybe, a couple minutes earlier than usual, since I was occasionally skipping along the road.

“Daddy’s home!” I could hear my youngest daughter Sana shout when I was just passing through our gate. The door opened and all my kids came running into the yard. My wife Zenia was just standing in the doorway.

“Daddy, today I learned the Ah in Sana! I can now almost spell my name!”

“Really, maybe you should become a teacher then!” I shared my daughter’s excitement, thinking of Babylonia for a second.

After adhering to our family’s ‘entry regulations,’ consisting of giving every single one of my family members a kiss and having dinner, I decided to stay up a bit after putting the kids to sleep. I sat in an armchair in our living room, spreading the freshly bought notebook in front of me and taking the quill into my hand.

The truth is I had always wanted to be an author in my old life, but I never managed to do that. Not until now. And I want to tell people my story.

Instead, I stared blankly at the page for a couple of minutes.

“Oh no,” I merely uttered.

It seems I wasn’t prepared for the true enemy that was already lying in wait.

“Writer’s block!”