5.4 Small People With Big Dreams

Akiha's drawing sucked even with the aid of magic, but it'd do. It had to. Nothing else had worked so far. No one gave a shit about his problems. He couldn't hire mercenaries due to Lazslo's arbitrary rules.

And for what?

Wraiths, demons, bandits—all the same trash. And nobody cared. So what if a group of well-intentioned but inexperienced... warriors was pushing it... individuals felt like saving the world? Small people with big dreams failed all the time.

So what if Akiha failed? What then? Nothing. The world wouldn't end. None of them were that important. Lots of people would get hurt, sure, but lots of people got hurt all the time, anyway. If he really thought about it, Akiha was more at risk than anyone at the college. He'd almost died... how many times already? Unimportant, but more than once.

While he failed to calm down, Akiha slammed his forehead against the silver bulletin board of the canteen. Even these involved needless luxury. Other commissions, stuck to the board with magnets, were largely the same—capture this or that, bring back my lost pet, beat up my cheater spouse. Akiha's commission said:

WANTED: DEMON PRIEST

REWARD: 100,000 ZULI

Even if Akiha couldn't draw, Lazslo's features were striking enough to stand out on their own. If it wasn't the unusual height, it was the eyepatch, or the dark blond hair, or the antiquated black robes. All of the above, probably.

"There you go," Akiha mumbled, "You piece of shit monk."

One of Lazslo's conditions had been that Akiha's 'heroes' ought to be recruited purely out of the kindness of their hearts, not material ambition. However, he'd never specified that Akiha could not use money at all. Since no one would ever realistically be able to defeat Lazslo, whether Akiha had the money to pay this or not was irrelevant; all he had to do was lure greedy mercenaries into the path of light. It was this, or selling his body.

Once he'd finished drawing Lazslo's portrait, Akiha glued the ransom to the bulletin board, then sat a couple tables away. Before long, a trio of mercenaries—two girls, one boy—fell for the bait. "This one looks good," said one of the girls. "A hundred thousand. He must be really strong."

This was around the time Akiha recognized one of them as the redhead who'd made fun of him earlier. Classic. "Or a scam," she replied.

"Scam," agreed another newcomer, which Akiha also recognized as one of the guys he was supposed to recruit at the oasis. Seriously? What was next? Kaz, after escaping prison and deciding to redeem himself as a bounty hunter?

Anyway, back to the redhead. Akiha held his head by this point. Shit was ass. "Never mind then. Told you guys we wouldn't find anything good here."

As they walked away, the boy said: "We have to prove our worth somehow. There has to be something we can do to..."

By the time Akiha remembered how to think, the trio had left. That, and he'd curled his legs on a chair that had way too many frills, so his pants caught onto one of the engines, thus causing him to trip before he could even attempt to reach them. That was this quest in a nutshell: nothing but stumbling on his own feet.

"Oh, shit," said the guy from the oasis. "You all ri...? Oh, shit."

The bespectacled guy had recognized him, too, apparently. Akiha had fought along Svart and Val, not this guy, but they'd seen each other for a bit after the guards showed up to take Kaz and his group. What was his name again? Something monosyllabic with a V in it.

As the guy helped Akiha up, he asked, "Are you still with that group from the oasis?"

"Yes. Why?"

"...well... long story short, one of the members from my group thinks yours are bandits, so he's hunting them down. The other one is a puppet who'll do anything she's told to. As for me... I'd rather avoid conflict."

"Val and Svart, you mean?" Asked Akiha. "But they seemed nice?"

"Nice?" The bespectacled guy guffawed.

"I mean it. Skilled, well coordinated, quick-witted."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same guys? Because my companions are morons. Meanwhile, yours were, uh. Inventive. The swordsman was actually pretty strong."

From what little Akiha had gathered after the fight, Cérise and the rest had allied themselves with this guy and Pluie in order to take down Kaz's group. "Grass is greener on the other side, perhaps," Akiha said without thinking. "In any case, I appreciate the heads up. I'll make sure to take preventative measures."

"Cool. Any idea where your group will be tomorrow? So I can herd mine to the opposite side."

"We'll be staying at a coffee shop called Les Epées... Ne... Seront... Sont..."

"I know which one it is. Right by the north entrance."

"Indeed."

"Great," said the guy. "Then I'll make sure we don't go there. Anywhere else?"

Akiha shrugged. At this point, he wasn't even sure if handing out a letter to this guy was worth it. Even if he managed to recruit them, the ensuing in-group drama would make him yearn for the void. "Any idea why your companions think mine are bandits?" Asked Akiha. "For future reference."

The guy shrugged. Someone walked by, saw Akiha's ad, then burst out laughing. "Vigilante phase. The swordsman and catg... whatever she is met Svart before. Long story short, they fought. Svart saw your friend's tattoo and mistook it for the real thing. Now he thinks there's two Wraiths we need to capture and yadda yadda. I don't really wnat to talk about it, to be honest. Wanna go for a drink?"

What were they, if not a pair of lost souls looking to warm their cold hearts with alcohol?

Three beers later, the guy—Vit—was already screaming. "ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. THEY JUST WANT MY BODY. IS IT SO HARD TO FIND HUMAN CONNECTION?"

To be fair, the music at the canteen was also quite loud, and not only because the live band was even more intoxicated. "I WISH I COULD LIKE WOMEN," Akiha replied. "THAT WOULD SOLVE MOST OF MY PROBLEMS."

"Trash. Everyone is trash. I just want a girlfriend. Money. Cool adventures instead of Svart's dumb vigilante shit. Why is that so hard. Why must everything be so hard."

"WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SO HARD?"

"WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SO HARD?"

After the fourth drink, Vit used his glasses as a slingshot. Akiha and he laughed when they broke. By the fifth, Akiha excused himself because he couldn't have a hangover or else he'd sabotage a plan that was hopeless in the first place. "I feel that," Vit said. "Hopelessness. Despair. We should find a room."

"For...?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm asking for a reason," Akiha grumbled.

"Ehhh. Just follow me. I'll show you. Where are my glasses? Never mind. Follow me and I'll show you."

Akiha followed him so Vit would show him, but the problem was that neither of them knew what, or who, or when, and that was okay. They needed it. Everyone needed to forget sometimes. By the time they'd gone to some hotel room and Vit began to fumble with his armor, Akiha had a momentary lapse of reason. "Oh, no," he said.

"What? Don't tell me you have a boyfriend."

"No, it's... I'm not a girl."

"Huh?"

"I'm not a girl." Akiha unbuttoned his shirt a bit. "See?"

"No. I lost my glasses. Why aren't you a girl? What happened?"

"Uhhh...."

"So you're not a woman," Vit said.

"I am not."

"Why not?"

"I don't... know?"

"Why is it so HARD to find WOMEN these days?"

"Men are even worse," Akiha mumbled. He didn't even feel that drunk anymore. To think this might've ended... differently, had he...

...or, well, no. Vit probably would've found out sooner or later due to logistics issues. Akiha had never had a one night stand nor had he ever been interested in the subject, but now the situation had presented itself, he didn't... care? Or it could be the alcohol. Or it could be everything else. Either way, in the grand scheme of things, it'd probably be best to desist.

"I'll just go back to those two," Vit said, out of nowhere. "You should go back with your friends, too."

"Perhaps."

"I mean it. All women are evil. Goodbye."

Vit slammed his face against the side of the doorframe on his way out. He'd been the one to pay for the hotel room, but whatever. Akiha just kind of lay there for a bit. The roof looked nice. Someone had painted flowers, stars, and other such nonsense on it. The mattress was comfortable, even though it clearly wasn't meant to be used much.

That whole sequence had been surreal. To put it lightly. Prior to leaving his village, Akiha had never been confused with a woman. Most people in his hometown looked similar regardless of gender. Because of this, finding differences was easy. Things didn't change much in college, either. It wasn't until he'd showed up here that this kind of shit had begun. Vit and his friends were also outlanders, so they didn't count, but Cérise? He wasn't exactly the pinnacle of virility. Pluie? Even worse. Kaz? He was a manlet with a heart-shaped eyepatch. So then why did people in this accursed desert continue to dig at Akiha's appearance?

"Haku, Hua," Akiha told no one, "I almost had a one night stand tonight. With an intoxicated stranger who confused me with a woman. This is it. This is life now."

He should've just done the thing.

"And now, I must return to those five... four... and pretend everything is fine. I must pretend everything is fine. I must. Or else, there's nothing left but despair."

Akiha closed his eyes.

"Nothing but despair. If that's all that remains at the end, how is it distinguishable from the truth?"