Chapter 32:

Episode VIII (To) Waste Away

siVisPride


Aiko tried in vain to keep ignoring the thoughts, siVis or otherwise. The fact that they’re blurring together just made things harder.

She pleaded with herself, just a little more strength to push it all back. She gets that she’s landed on another street again, that her legs were sore, arms shot, back creaking—she can even deal with the kinda awesome feeling of something nestled in her left side. Maybe a ribbed popped or something, it’s interesting…

She thought she could work with this, these new senses… But they only amplified the one thing she feared.

Not feared! She was done with all that! Just… Amplifying the thing that one thing she’s done such a good job in ignoring.

Thankfully, she was allowed to stop thinking once she realized a shadow loomed over her.

Aiko looked up, and saw Jackie Jackson, with outstretched hand. Aiko looked past the hand, and could only look at her face.

It was almost as if she aged 5 years all at once. A face that can only frown, a face that didn’t bother to cover up it’s imperfections, and the stress has taken the toll in the form of deep marks along her eyes, her face resting into a defeated sag.

But her eyes, darkened, was the notable thing. As if they’ve casted a shadow, to showcase how deep the lines under them ran now.

Aiko grabbed her hand never the less, forcing herself to rise up while wincing and grunting.

“Well, we’re definitely back in the city, that much I can say…”

Maddie Solomon glanced about, with hands on her hips. She was the odd sort, like Asumu. People that stay in their bubble of negativity and yet, want to drag others into it while hating them and people in general. Aiko often ignored her slights, of course.

“But… If my architecture’s right… Yep. We’re totally flung back further than where we are. We’re still here in industrial hell, girls.”

“Great,” Tracy Goodwin let her arms flop to her sides. And not a second or two later, waved them about in what Aiko can guess was a mix of frustration and worry, but ended up just looking silly.

Tracy was very mercurial. She seemed meek, but goes red hot when things seem dire… And yet is incredibly frightened when those same odds surface themselves again. Maybe it’s because she was an actress? Aiko remember just nodding and listening when they recognized her, and took their word. It was nice to get that practiced, down pact, due to the rambling of her brothers “debating” if Kabuto could truly beat Decade.

River Brooke was going to say something as she got back up, but only yelled out in pain, crumpling back down. Aiko rushed over, kneeling down while keeping space.

“Are you okay, River?!” Tracy shouted.

“Nope, and my body’s telling how and why exactly that is?” River strained to talk back. “And I can’t do a damn thing about it? This isn’t everyday suffering—this is: advanced suffering.”

“I can help you up…” Aiko said.

“Nah. I’ll flatten you,” as she struggled to stand back up again.

Aiko think okkasan would be the angriest at River. Very and clearly smart, from what Aiko paid attention to—a very stable profession. Those traits alone would make her give an earful to her, someone that has some good stuff already and can get better.

Aiko scoffed to herself, smushing her cheeks with her hands. She hates being this aware of people, being this aware in general…

“So that’s it?” River finally getting her question out. “We’re in another desert, basically?”

“And the thing is?” Maddie responded. “I’ve only been around these parts once… I remember these buildings being like, offices or something. Now they’re vacant.”

And she was right, as Aiko looked around. Dull buildings, in the color of their brick and the dust caking the windows—if not plastered with thin, brown construction paper. Aiko then looked down the street, and only plots of reserved land of concrete were stretched before her. Unused.

“And we have to fucking walk to find a place to sleeeeeeep,” Tracy whined out. “fuck iiiit--”

Jackie dropped her backpack, maybe to make a point for everyone to look to her.

“We might as well stay here, eat what isn’t ruined in these bags, and make for the journey that way. We basically need everything we have left in us to at least walk.”

“Fuck, yeah—” Maddie put her hand on her forehead. “We’ve been fucking thrown around for like, a day, everything in here’s mush already, isn’t it--?”

“There’s one way to find out,” Jackie eased herself down, wincing as she sat cross-legged, bag in her lap, beginning to open it.

Naturally, everyone took her lead, sitting down with some struggle. Aiko took off her backpack, looking at the featureless black bag with “EXTANT” on it. She really did miss her travelling pack.

It was a strange to see this aesthetic, seeing it up close versus seeing the creeping influence in her country. The monolithic look, seeing buildings stripped down to the barest essence, no detail or quirk. Just as overwhelming as the Shift Noumena, because it signals people that they have to abandon any and all excess—even the things that makes one special, in the face of surreality. We cannot afford to live, just survive.

Aiko involuntarily shivered, opening her pack to distract herself, peering into what mess awaited her…

It… Could’ve been worse.

Many of the food stock were busted over, squashed, and covered in stray pieces of whatever the respective container was. Still, it’s better than the usual Aiko feeds herself—leftovers and bits of candy here or there. And it’s definitely better than the nothing she forgot to pack—

She pulled out the punctured sandwich, the exposed area turned into near-mush. Aiko took a bite, munching away as she tilted her head, slowly swallowing it. Again, not the worse, but not the greatest either.

Aiko turned her head, just in time to hear Tracy shout out in fear again. Well, anguish this time.

“What is it?” Jackie questioned. Which didn’t have the usual patience she had.

“Oh god… I just thought… I-I thought that the jars were reenforced!” Tracy scrambled to say what she said. “I—I—I—I just took one minijar of salsa hoping for the best and--!”

“Yo, you brought along fucking salsa?” Maddie questioned her. “That shit stains! That shit STINGS!”

“I JUST WANTED TO TREAT MYSELF—MAYBE EVEN YOU GUYS!” Tracy screamed. “ANOTHER NIGHT LIKE BEFORE, WE ACTUALLY CELEBERATE, AND---”

“And now you have a backpack that’s literally ruined by salsa,” Maddie finished for her.

“I don’t even what to hear anything about your usual edgy bullshit right now—” Tracy glared at her.

Maddie scoffed, putting a hand on her cheek, “Woahahahaho, little Tracy’s TV-14 nowadays huh? I was just gonna make fun over the fact that you’re gonna down spicy-sweet cakes or chips or something: I wasn’t even going to make sure that I told you so. But sure, you did a dumb—”

“If you’re both done,” Jackie intervened, glancing at both with an icy cold stare. “I suggest both of you to stuff your faces, because both of you are dead weight. And I could leave both of you to have your meaningless playground fight.”

Maddie shrugged, “Yessir. I’ll listen for once, just because you’re in a mood.”

“And I’m in this mood with nothing left to lose,” Jackie bore into the small girl with her stare, furrowing brow. “Don’t be next on the block.”

Aiko just disengaged with that whole conflict, cursing herself for listening in. It’s why Aiko doesn’t listen in regarding anything, why she purposely elevates her head in the clouds.

Too many personalities. Too many feelings clashing. Too much history to keep track of and note. Nothing but hurt that blurs the lines of right and wrong completely. Way too much for Aiko.

She needed to keep things simple, keep making things simple. For her sake.

She tuned back in while eating the sandwich and keeping it down. She saw that Tracy wasn’t doing so.

She was covering her mouth, stomping to herself as she rocked in her seat on the sidewalk. After she was done with that, she crept her hand back into her pack, pulling out the crumbling chips already splattered by the salsa. She practically forced the hand full into her trembling mouth, repeating her previous reaction with tears welling in her eyes. Was it all too strong as well?

River was zippering her backpack up already, chewing on some sweets that came in a now empty bag as she balled it up. It might have just been a snack size version of a candy brand that offered much bigger sizes, and it seemed that she only took the one. Does she not eat much at all?

Aiko shook her head, and started to really eat at the sandwich, taking away more and more of her focus from all that. Before she knew it, everyone was done, and struggled to get up again.

They headed out to somewhere, and the sun setting coated everywhere. It occurred to Aiko, that they all might’ve passed out for a whole night or so, when they travelled back. It also occurred to Aiko, that she was losing the grip of time itself, the more they keep travelling.

Aiko suspected that no one wanted to ask where Jackie was leading them, as she took point with a reoccurring limp that popped up every odd step. It was clear that the outburst from earlier wasn’t just a one-off. It was very clear that Jackie Jackson reached her limit.

“Huh,” Maddie voiced as she looked up, towards a billboard. “One, fucking surprised that a billboard still exists around here. And two, we’re actually a ways away from the ‘Dreamlot’.”

“Translation?” Jackie was only looking and walking forward.

Maddie did a pause, trying to tame a possible comeback, “There was this failed—well, not even failed. It came out literally at the worse time… But basically? It was the only good idea Davenport had.”

It was like she was waiting for a response, a back and forth. Jackie offered her nothing.

“…It was a neighborhood district that was like, self-sustaining,” Maddie finished. “You didn’t have to pay for water or gas or electricity—you and the house created it yourselves. He’s super big on ushering in some breakthrough in society, that new era shit. That was one of them.”

“And he didn’t outfit any of that shit to the current housing because…?” Jackie answered.

“Well, it was like that self generator thing. One fucking bad move and bang. Out of water, out of gas, out of electricity and out of luck. And considering how bad the Shifts are getting—sure having that shelter would be tight. But it’s a needle thread.”

“But that’s still a good chance of having a stable place to actually sleep in…” Tracy brought up. “Surely, that’s our next stop?”

“Hell naw,” Maddie spat back. “The Terri’s live around there…”

“S-seriously--?” Tracy asked.

“How the fuck do you have a show that was literally about the fucking Shift and not know about the main Trend people that live here?!” Maddie said in shock. “Nathan roams around here for some fucking reason, N’atural was only like, 2 years ago—But the Terri’s?! They’re the Terri’s!”

She was only met with silence again.

“Anyways,” Maddie sighed again. “Yeah. But I guess that’s our level of luck anyways, so maybe Terri—terri—Tracy’s right.” She pointed to herself, using her thumb with balled fist, “Ol’ Rafiki can show you the way~”

“No need,” Jackie kept marching.

There was a pregnant pause, as everyone but her looked at each other.

“Is that,” River pursed the words together. “Wise?”

“Oh sure. Let’s work off wisdom now. It’s not like we needed it before. Oh wait. Nothing makes sense anymore, so wisdom’s been rendered useless.”

“But we need a break--!” Tracy protested.

“All we can actually do, is to keep moving. It’s clear that everywhere we go, we’re outmatched. What point is there to find somewhere to rest if we can’t fucking manage to board transportation?”

“But…” Tracy could only creak out.

“No buts. We’ve fucked up. We’ve been nothing but fucking up this whole time. And I guess we have to pay for it.”

“Okay, I’ve just about had it with you acting like a vindictive little brat,” Maddie spat at her, stopping in her tracks. “And here I thought that, y’know, maybe you’re mature enough to get a grip of yourself back there?”

Jackie practically swung back towards her, practically growling, “There is no ‘getting a grip’ about this, can’t you get that through your skull—idiot?! How can I fucking get a grip over something I have no fucking grid for; that HUMANITY has no fucking grid for?! And that’s fucking rich, coming from you. You’re nothing but a miserable knat that things she’s some black widow! You fly around, you bite and bite, thinking you’re poisoning people! YOU’RE ANNOYING THEM!”

Maddie tilted her head, “Duh. I’m a piece of shit, but hey: I’m actually constructive with it. I actually can process my fucking emotions like an adult and I’m stronger fucking for it. Everyone knows we’re fucked, just a matter of when it’s coming and how much time they have. So uh, stop with the projecting and whining that everyone’s just as ‘tortured’ as you.”

“So you’re a cynic that pats herself on the back,” Jackie sniped. “I bow to you, you already had enlightenment before all this, oh great one. Own me, own me more with your gospel of snark.”

“Such flowery language for a kid that can’t move on,” Maddie sniped. “Face it. Your life peaked at high school, with or without the Shifts. And no one should fucking care.”

The pieces that made up Jackie’s arm flared open, and then tensed shut as she tightened her fist.

Maddie laughed. “God, that was literally a guess. You’re so fucking predictable.”

“WHY IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY THE WORLD TURNING SHIT ‘PREDICTABLE’?! WHY IS HAVING SOME SEMBLANCE OF EMOTION IN THIS FUCKED WORLD ‘PREDICTABLE’?! WHY IS BEING SCARED TO DIE BEING ‘PREDICTABLE’?!”

Aiko nervously looked to the two, one after another. She had to break her rule—at least this once—otherwise this could turn messy.

She looked to Tracy, who looked to be on the verge of a breakdown herself—then to River who was turned away crossing her arms.

Aiko really was the only one that could stop this, as her eyes wondered about in panic.

Until something caught her eye, and made her blood run cold.

“Guys!” Aiko shouted out and pointed to what she saw.

Everyone turned towards it, and Aiko felt the chill they created just fine.

What stood before them was a billboard.

LIFE’S A CHANGING, AND THAT’S OKAY

The same billboard. “Rosebad”, was it?

“… We’re living in a tragicomedy that’s shit,” River said, defeated.