Double whammy vampire schooling

The game started off normally with Mălina moving her pawn to c4 and Mimoko moving her pawn to e5. But shenanigans unfolded as Mălina moved her pawn to f4 with a mischievous look on her face.

"The vampire gambit... I was hoping I wouldn't see something dumb like this, which is why I decided to play you, but if you're going to make these kinds of moves, I'll school you," Mimoko glared as she captured the pawn at f4 with her e-pawn.

"Huh!? You trying to be my mother or something?" Mălina scowled as she moved her knight to f3.

"Fun fact, her mother, Sabina Drăculești, is competing at board 1 for Romania, and has a rating of 2476," Saloni stated as Mimoko moved her bishop to e7.

"Someone gag that woman," Mălina snarled as she moved her pawn to g3.

"Why are you being so combative with Saloni-chan?" Mimoko asked as she moved her pawn to d5.

"Why? Cuz she pisses me off! You ever play the online Throwdown Thursday? Well that bitch is always there winning both he early and late tournaments," Mălina fumed as she captured the pawn at d5 with her c-pawn.

Throwdown Thursday was an online tournament taking place every Thursday of the year. It consisted of 11 rounds of 3 minute matches and was run both in the morning and later during the day. Saloni often dominated theses events, leading to her becoming the ire of many like Mălina .

"Hmm, I haven't really checked it out, but thanks for letting me know about it," Mimoko smiled as she captured the pawn at g3 with her f-pawn.

A look of horror and anger spread on Mălina's face as she realized she had just made Throwdown Thursday harder for herself. "Fuck my luck today. Why'd I choose to play you?" she growled as she moved her knight to c3.

"Well her personality sure changed from a minute ago," Okisato thought as Mimoko moved her pawn to c6.

"Oh, but I forgot, I'm beating you now, so there's no need to worry if you start playing in Throwdown Thursday, cuz I'm beating you," Mălina smiled as she moved her pawn to e4.

"And back to cheerful mode... Think I'll need to observe her a bit more to get a better read on her," Okisato thought as Mimoko captured the pawn at d5 with her c-pawn.

Mălina returned the favor by capturing the pawn at d5 with her knight, but Mimoko didn't care and moved her knight to c6.

"She think I forgot about this pawn over here? Well too bad!" Mălina thought as she captured the pawn at g3 with her h-pawn.

Yet Mimoko still didn't seem to be phased and moved her knight to f6.

"Check! Your stone face is getting on my nerves," Mălina scowled as she captured the knight at f6 with her knight.

"Chess is typically a silent sport," Mimoko glared as she captured said knight with her bishop.

"But we ain't in the playing hall, we're in the dining hall, and my steaks are getting cold," Mălina growled as she slammed her pawn down on e5.

"YOUR steaks?" Mimoko skeptically glared as she captured the pawn at e5 with her knight.

"Uh, I paid for them, you slut," Mălina scoffed as she captured the knight at e5 with her knight.

While that fact was true, Mimoko couldn't help but feel Mălina was being too assertive. "Perhaps maybe I can exorcise her by beating her," she hopefully thought as she captured the knight at e5 with her bishop.

While "exorcizing" Mălina might be up in the air, beating her certainly wasn't as her move of queen to e2 only worsened her position further. Mimoko pounced on the opportunity with a king's side castle as Mălina simply moved her king to d1.

"Was that intentional? You just forsook your castling rights," Mimoko stated as she moved her rook to e8.

"Um, it was the best move, dumbass!" Mălina retorted as she moved her queen to f3.

"No it wasn't. Queen to d3 was your best option," Mimoko stated as she moved her bishop to e6.

"You trying to be a know-it-all!? Then tell me how to solve chess!" Mălina fumed as she moved her bishop to d3.

"Unfortunately, I don't know. Though it would be more fun if chess isn't solved in a sense," Mimoko smiled as she moved her pawn to h6.

"Destul cu zâmbetul [Enough with the smiling]!" Mălina fumed as she moved her bishop to e4.

"Um, what was that you said?" Mimoko nervously asked as she moved her queen to d7.

"Destul cu zâmbetul! You don't understand it, learn Romanian," Mălina sneered as she moved her rook to h4.

The line resonated with Okisato as it made him recall something he heard long ago.

"Didn't understand what I said? Learn Danish, kid."

This led to Okisato setting forth a DESPER wager that he'd be able to learn any language with ease if he so chose to study it. As a result, he knew English, Danish, German, Russian, Finnish, Esperanto, Chinese, and just recently Hungarian, Estonian, and Polish in addition to his native Japanese.

"I'll tell you what she said once I learn Romanian," Okisato stated as Mimoko moved her pawn to g5.

"Um, who said you could learn it!?" Mălina fumed as she moved her king to e1.

"Uh, me?" Okisato glared as Mimoko captured the rook at h4 with her g-pawn.

"Then how can I say stuff I don't want others to know!?" Mălina fumed as she slammed her queen down on e3.

"Check. Drăculești-san, don't you think you're being a bit overdramatic?" Mimoko asked as she captured the pawn at g3 with her bishop.

The line only seemed to enrage Mălina more, but not for the reason on might think.

"The hell you just call me?" Mălina trembled as she moved her king to d1.

"Drăculești-san? Ah, my apologies, you might prefer to go by Mălina-san or maybe Mălina-chan-"

"STOP FUCKING ADDING "SAN" AND "CHAN" TO THE END OF MY NAME!"

Mimoko was a bit taken aback by Mălina's outburst, but maintained her composure and moved her bishop to g4. "Perhaps I should have let Tanabe-kun humiliate you."

"Huh? You think that blank-faced twerp could beat me!? You know who I am!?" Mălina fumed as she moved her king to c2.

"No, because you refused to tell me," Mimoko glared as she moved her a-rook to c8.

"You trying to be a smartass with me!?" Mălina fumed as she slammed her king down on b1.

"Ugh, if we were in the playing hall, we could at least have a nice and quiet match," Mimoko mumbled under her breath as she captured the bishop on e4 with her rook.

"You talking shit about me!?" Mălina fumed as she slammed her queen down on b3.

"And if I said yes?" Mimoko glared as she moved her rook to e1.

"I'LL SUCK ALL YOUR FUCKING BLOOD OUT AND LEAVE YOU A SHRIVELED UP CORPSE!" Mălina shouted as she slammed her queen down on c2.

"Hmmm... Tanabe-kun, you may do as you please with her following my victory," Mimoko glared as she captured the queen at c2 with her rook.

"Um, arrogant much? But thanks, you just sealed your doom by counting your chickens before they hatched!" Mălina crazily smiled laughed as she captured the rook at c2 with her king.

"It's mate in 2, or 1 if you make a certain move. So what will it be? The bishop or the queen?" Mimoko glared.

"Uh, the queen. Bishops are shit, both real ones and the ones here. Queens rule!" Mălina scoffed as she moved her king to b3.

"Well then sorry to say, but you get the bishop," Mimoko glared as she moved her bishop to d6.

"Huh!? I said give me the queen!" Mălina fumed as she slammed her pawn down on a4.

"When I posed the question, I was asking which piece you wanted to be mated with. Had you gone king b1, queen captures c1 would have been mate, though rook captures c1 would have worked too. My apologies for leaving it out, but it matters not. You get the bishop. Checkmate," Mimoko stated as she moved her bishop to e6, winning the game.

Mălina's eye twitched as she stared at the board. "...Check... mate? YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!?"

Had the board not been created with a WWCF card, it would have gone flying as Mălina kicked it. Grizzly prepared to hold her back, but it wasn't necessary as a new party entered the fray, kicking Mălina in the stomach and sending her into a wall, where she slumped down, unconscious.

"Foul ghoul. You lost, so stop causing a ruckus."

The assailant was a woman with long red hair clad in a skintight black catsuit and boots. But what stood out about her was the fact that her ears were long and pointy like an elf's. She left as quickly as she came, though thanks to Saloni, everyone was able to at least know who she was.

"Ethelreda Ælfgifu of New Zealand. She has a rating of 2077 and is on board 3. Also really hates vampires, though most elves tend to."

"Well I hate em too. Now we can eat with no strings attached, right?' Beaver asked as he eyed a steak.

"Should be fine. I mean, she lost, so she had to pay for the meal without getting anything out of us. So dig in," Inez shrugged as she herself grabbed a steak.

"You want some?" Grizzly asked Mimoko.

Mimoko smiled and refused, just happy she could help out. Though things weren't over just yet as Mălina slowly began to rise.

"Mimoko Inoue... I hate you. You're dead," she glared as she began to storm away.

"Lol, didn't know vampires were so shit at chess," Iori snickered as she appeared with phone in hand before Mălina.

"You recorded everything... I'll kill you.

"Hmmm? So what's the worst move you've ever lost to?"

"Not tell-"

"Your game logs said it was just to a lame ole Benoni. How about I change that and harvest some elo."

A chill went down Mălina's spine as she stared at the sadistic smile plastered on Iori's face. If she faced her, she had no doubt she'd lose, and get humiliated in the process.

"I'm not ending up like Jadwiga... Free food on the house!" she shouted as she tossed a wad of cash into the air and made her escape as Iori focused on snatching every euro raining down.

Mălina just had to hope Romania wasn't playing Japan, or going to in future rounds, as Iori had her eye on her now.

The full game:

White: Mălina Drăculești (2348) Black: Mimoko Inoue (2809)

1. c4 e5

2. f4 exf4

3. Nf3 Be7

4. g3 d5

5. cxd5 fxg3

6. Nc3 c6

7. e4 cxd5

8. Nxd5 Nc6

9. hxg3 Nf6

10. Nxf6+ Bxf6

11. e5 Nxe5

12. Nxe5 Bxe5

13. Qe2 O-O

14. Kd1 Re8

15. Qf3 Be6

16. Bd3 h6

17. Be4 Qd7

18. Rh4 g5

19. Ke1 gxh4

20. Qe3 Bxg3+

21. Kd1 Bg4+

22. Kc2 Rac8+

23. Kb1 Rxe4

24. Qb3 Re1

25. Qc2 Rxc2

26. Kxc2 Qc6+

27. Kb3 Bd6

28. a4 Be6#