Autumn Cleaning

Dango has been locked in my room for days, immersed in writing, never taking a break, except for physiological needs and when he had to train Beatrice or teach us fencing.

At first, he wanted me to help him type what he couldn't put on paper. For some reason, he decided to work alone. Maybe, after what happened with Beatrice, he felt the need to not leave her working alone.

Beatrice and I, on the other hand, continue with the cleaning. A methodical and orderly job, just the way I like it. But for her it's different, you can see that it bores her even if she tries to hide it. Every now and then she stops for a short break, or to figure out where a certain object could be placed to decorate the apartment. She even asked me how Dango would use it or where he would like to put it. As if I could understand what's going on in that boy's head. I'm fascinated by her behavior. I'm surprised by her human way of wanting to find different uses for objects. For me, they are simply things with a single predetermined task.

By mutual agreement, we decided to always have something in the background to fill the moments of silence.

Tonight, Beatrice and I are putting a stack of holomangas on the bookshelf, after cleaning it. A news report catches our attention, momentarily stopping our work.

«After years of cybernetics entering homes and people's hearts, solving health problems and improving the quality of human life in much of the world, finally the Republic of Venetia has also approved mechanical and cybernetic modification operations. A historic decision that marks a turning point for the future of our country. For years now, there have been rumors that the factories and laboratories of Muràn were analyzing external components to be able to create their own products, homologating them to the law and making them safer. Very soon, special clinics will open to perform the operations safely, carried out by local experts in the field, who have studied abroad and personally followed the procedures for introducing the components into the country.»

Beatrice, sitting on the sofa, turns to me. «Pierrot, what do you think? Is it… good news?»

I sit next to her, thinking about how to answer her without giving her too many worries. «It depends on how it is managed and, above all, on the use that the individual will make of it. The introduction of cybernetic modifications could improve the lives of many people, or... create a crisis situation, as happened in the Americas. If they have now started production, it is because they are sure that they will not run the same risk.»

She nods slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen. «S-Sometimes, when I watch you work and train, I wonder what it would be like... to have something mechanical. M-Maybe it would make me more useful.»

I am surprised by her words. «Beatrice, your usefulness depends on your qualities. It's who you are that makes the difference.» I stare at my hands for a moment. «I would like to have a heart that beats too, I would like to feel different sensations, I would like to have hair to grow.»

Beatrice looks at me in amazement, then starts giggling. «Y-You would like to have hair, just to grow it?»

«Yes.» I nod seriously. «Sometimes, in the bathroom, I like to look at myself in the mirror and imagine myself with a full head of hair.»

She bursts out laughing. «AHAHAHAH! I can't imagine you with hair.»

Her gaze softens. Her laughter relaxes me.

Shortly after she turns back to the TV. She has taken on a worried look and sighs. «… D-Do you think... Dango would do it? As soon as this thing is possible... would he become a cyborg?»

The question takes me by surprise. She's worried too... about losing him...

I turn my gaze to the TV too...

The sound of the toilet flushing breaks the silence... We look at each other for a moment, then we both let out a light laugh.

«You know, Bea, I don't think he would.»

She nods, uncertain but relieved. «Mh, you're right.»

***

A couple of days later...

Finally, we've almost finished cleaning the entire apartment. Caught up in the excitement of finishing the last things quickly, we realized that we had exceeded our dinner time by an hour. Beatrice insisted on finishing alone so I could cook and not keep Dango waiting any longer.

While I'm cooking, I hear footsteps approaching. Is Dango coming to see how the dinner is going?

The figure that enters the kitchen is not Dango, but Beatrice. She is holding something tightly in her arms. Her gaze is straight at me, from the expressive features I understand that something is wrong.

«Pierrot... I-I should show you something.»

Even from her tone, she seems worried. I lower the heat of the stove and turn to her. «Has something serious happened?»

«N-No…» She places a folder on the table. «I found it while cleaning. It seems important, but I don't understand much.»

«I'll take a look at it. In the meantime, you finish preparing dinner.»

I open the folder and start reading. They are medical records. They report analyses, visits, and operations. Things that are not very relevant now, with time it seems that everything has settled down. But what attracts my attention most are the child neuropsychiatry analyses.

«Great job, Bea. You managed to find the answers I've been looking for about Dango's behavior.»

«What did you find out?»

«Apparently, in the first analyses he was diagnosed with dyscalculia, dyslexia, dysgraphia, and depression.»

Beatrice gasps, remaining motionless. Her hands grip the handle of the ladle tightly. «So... Is-Is that why he always has that sad and bored expression?» Her voice comes out as a whisper, as if she's afraid of what she's saying.

«No. Later he was re-examined for further tests by two other neuropsychiatrists. They confirmed the first problems and corrected the last one. They indicate that he doesn't have depression, but ADHD. It's actually easy to confuse if you don't have an in-depth study of the subject.»

«Is it serious?»

«"It depends on the individual. Unfortunately, there are no more recent analyzes. So I can't say if he's improved, stayed stable, or gotten worse.»

Continuing, I discover that, despite the reported difficulties, there is no trace of any state aid or educational support. It's surprising that he managed to get by on his own, considering the lack of support. Perhaps a severe form was not recognized in him.

Beatrice has remained silent cooking. Since she's turned her back, I can't see her face. I can't understand her current emotional state, but I can guess how she might feel. Finding out that someone you care about has a neurodivergence is not easy to accept and manage. It's not a cut that you can just put disinfectant on or a cold that you can cure with syrup. It's something much more complex that affects areas of the brain that are still difficult to understand today. All we can do is help him where we can and leave him alone.

I approach Beatrice. «I know it's complicated. But now we'll have a way to deal with it together.»

«Mh, you're right.» She replies with a hint of a smile. You can see she's trying to smile. I wish I had a mouth to return the smile and reassure her.

«Beatrice.»

«Yes?»

«You're burning the dinner.»

«A-Ah! The pan is on fire!» Panicked, she tries to remedy it. She turns off the electric stove and smothers the flames with a lid. «Damn… because of me now we'll have to throw out dinner.»

«I think it's edible!»

«IIIihh!»  Beatrice jumps in fright. «Dango! D-Don't come up behind me like that!»

«Sorry.»

«Y-You saw it coming, Pierrot?»

«Of course.»

Luckily, I have a complete view of what's around me. Otherwise, I wouldn't have realized he was coming either. Yet, Beatrice should have a better hearing than me.

«W-Why didn't you say anything?»

«Because it seemed funny.»

«I-It's not!»

Dango and I start laughing.

Dango takes the floor again. «Anyway, don't throw away the dinner, it's no problem to eat it a bit burnt.»

«B-But…»

«Come on, help me serve the food.»

Calmly, Dango helps Beatrice serve the food on the table and they start eating. «Mmmmmhhh! It's really delicious!»

«A-Are you sure? It doesn't seem very good to me.»

«What are you talking about! Instead it's delicious.»

Beatrice lowers her head and gives a shy smile.

I think we were caught up in the momentary worry. Dango is more than healthy, in his own way. But in all this, one thing comes to mind. With his job he doesn't earn enough for food and bills, he doesn't receive any kind of subsidy from the state. How does he support himself?

«By the way, I wanted to tell you something...»  Dango calls us back with his mouth full. «I've finished writing the main characters and the world building. How far are you with the cleaning?»

«We're done...»

«Great! So you could help me with the writing if you don't mind?» he asks excitedly interrupting me.

«I'll be more than happy to help you.»

Beatrice has a strange expression as she stares at her plate. She seems lost in thought.

«Beatrice, is everything okay?»

She comes back to herself and looks at me with a forced smile. «Mh? Y-Yes, everything is fine...»

«You seemed rather thoughtful, is something bothering you?»

«N-No, it's just... You and Dango, you'll probably always be busy working. I-I don't have any tasks to do, what should I do?»

«It seems obvious to me.»

We both turn to Dango to hear what he's going to suggest.

«Do what you want.»

«Eh?»

He begins to explain, waving the fork in her hand like a chopstick. «Yes, you're free to do whatever you want with your life. You don't have to let others make decisions for you.»

Beatrice returns with her gaze to her plate.

I understand her, it's hard to deal with him. He treats us like people with decision-making ability, but we were born to obey orders. "Free will" is a word completely unknown to us. I know Dango means well, but he's not good at explaining himself, I'd better help him.

«Dango, maybe you could show her something you have at home, there might be something she'd be interested in.»

«That's not a bad idea. Since I've finished writing for today, after dinner I'll give you a hand, Bea.»

«Mh.» She just nods timidly, but I think she's happy.

…

In the end, Beatrice chose to dedicate herself to all of Dango's interests. Every now and then I hear her get excited even with the door closed. Obviously, she's enjoying her free time.

Anyway. Finally, Dango and I have resumed our initial writing rhythm. However, now I understand what Vincent meant when he told him it was too vague and lacked substance. What I'm writing now is on a completely different level than the various stories we had written before. Probably, by focusing on one thing, he managed to better elaborate on the story he wants to tell. You can immediately feel that the content has been studied more in depth before being treated.

He still gets sudden ideas for future events, but now he can manage them better. He works on it more calmly and pays more attention to how to connect it with what we have already written.

He seems like a different writer than the one I met. I think it's Beatrice who activated it. Every time we finish a chapter, he first hands it to Beatrice to read, then goes straight back to my room and starts walking fast in circles with a dumb grin.

The routine has now become calm and fun. None of us can say we are bored for a single moment, except when Dango has his dopamine drops. They are so strong that neither of us can make him go up. Sometimes we even have to check on him before he starts eating out of boredom.

I realized how precious those little moments are, good or bad. We're not a "conventional" family, but somehow, we're becoming united.