King David's Drăculeșting pitfall mate

As Iori and Mimoko ventured round the playing hall, they spied Kisha Shinbun interviewing a man dressed like a lumberjack.

The man was Mike Okeh, a member of the Canadian men's team.

"So Mike, I here your team had a rough match. Thoughts?"

"Oh, well that's easy. We ain't OK. And neither am I," Mike crazily chuckled before he broke into song.

"Oh I'm a bona-fide lumberjack that ain't OK. I don't get sleep, so I'm up all night."

"He's a bona-fide lumberjack that ain't OK. He doesn't get sleep so he's up all night," a man dressed as a Mountie sang as he seemingly popped out of nowhere.

"I kick down trees! I don't eat lunch! I hold my shit n' piss in! On Mondays I go to the thrift store, and burn down the women's clothing section!"

"He kicks down trees. He doesn't eat lunch. He holds his shit n' piss in. On Mondays he goes to the thrift store, and burns down the women's clothing section."

"He's a bona-fide lumberjack that ain't OK. He doesn't get sleep so he's up all night."

"I kick down trees! I roundhouse kick! I like to step on flowers! I burn up women's clothing, cuz it always triggers me!"

"He kicks down trees. He roundhouse kicks. He likes to step on flowers. He burns up women's clothing, because it always triggers him..."

"He's a bona-fide lumberjack that ain't OK. He doesn't get sleep so he's up all night."

"I kick down trees! I burn high heels, suspenders and EVERY FUCKING BRA OUT THERE! FUCK THOSE FUCKING BRITS FOR MAKING THAT DAMN SONG AND MAKING EVERYONE THINK LUMBERJACKS ARE CROSS-DRESSING PERVS! UDFUSDGBSCSK!"

"He kicks down trees. He burns high heels, suspenders and even bras. I dare not repeat what he  just said, but I'm contractually obligated to continue this song... So he's a bona-fide lumberjack that ain't OK... He doesn't get sleep so he's up all night!"

Mimoko shook her head as she noticed a sadistic glint light up in Iori's eyes, yet Iori was gone in a flash before she could react.

"Hey lumberjack, heard ya hate women's clothes, well good news for you, cuz I'm naked!" Iori grinned as she exposed herself to Mike, causing him to nosebleed and fall to the ground.

"Oh I'm a lumberjack that's a-OK," he began singing before losing consciousness due to blood loss and fatigue.

"Girl, Mike is not in the best of health. Overloading him like that isn't good," the Mountie frowned.

"And who are you even supposed to be? Monty Palin?"

"Actually, I'm Marty Pascal, a Mountie and head of the Canadian national men's team."

"You're a combatant!?"

"Indeed I am, though we won't cross paths as we're in different sections. Though perhaps I'll face your men's team, and you my women's."

Before Iori could throw another jab in, Mimoko caught her and bound her in her blanket like a bag worm before dragging her off.

"No fair! Mimo-chan- MMPH!?"

Please stay quiet as games are still taking place," Miga huffed as she appeared and slapped some tape over Iori's mouth.

Iori let out a muffled pout, yet ceased her resistance, allowing Mimoko to drag her along. On their way back to the entrance, they passed by a game being played between Belgium and Romania. The score was tied at 1.5-1.5 with only the game at board 1 between Belgian Kaylee Shamir and Romanian Mălina Drăculești still ongoing. The game had reached it's 15th move, with Kaylee having just played knight f3.

At a glance, it was hard to tell who was winning, but both Mimoko, Iori, and possibly Kaylee herself could tell that Mălina was screwed.

"Check! Wipe that sick grin off your face, this instant, you bitch!" Mălina fumed as she slammed her queen down on d3.

To understand why she was so angry, it was necessary to turn back time to the start of round 4. The game had opened with a standard Sicilian defense, 1. e4 c5, but move two was where Kaylee decided to play the King David's opening and moved her king to e2, completely infuriating Mălina. Knight c6, knight c3, and knight f6 were all played before Kaylee finally retreated her king to e1.

D5, e captures d5, knight captures d5, bishop b5, a6, and all seemed well, until Kaylee made use of her ability to speak when delivering a check via capturing the knight at c6 with her bishop.

"Checky, check. Wook at the wittle bitty bat, all shriveled up over wittle king David?"

The taunt irked Mălina so much she sent the bishop at c6 flying a good 3 meters as she captured it with her b-pawn. Things continued on normally though with b3, bishop f5, bishop b2, knight b4, and d3, before Mălina's rage got the better of her and she captured the pawn at d3 with her bishop. Kaylee let loose a smug and very punchable smirk as she captured the bishop at d3 with her c-pawn, nearly causing Mălina to actually punch her as she captured the pawn at d3 with her knight.

And to make things more infuriating, Kaylee got out of the check by moving her king back to e2, though Mălina launched a counter attack by capturing the bishop at b2 with her knight, forcing Kaylee to move her queen to c2. Mălina decided to fight fire with fire and brought her queen out to d6, allowing Kaylee to capture the trapped knight at b2 with her queen. And after rook d8, the game reached the point it did when Mimoko and Iori came to watch.

Kaylee continued to infuriate Mălina by escaping the check from the queen via moving her king back to e1. Her psychological warfare was working though as Mălina's face only furthered to contort in rage with rook g6 not exactly doing her any favors.

Rook g1 and queen d6 later, Mălina's rook was gone.  Yet Kaylee instead opted to move her king to f1, which as it turned out, was actually the best possible move.

"I'm sick of you twiddling with your king! CHECK FUCK!" Mălina shouted as she violently captured the rook at d1 with her rook, sending it flying towards Kaylee's forehead.

However, Kaylee simply ducked her head, dodging the airborne piece even capturing the rook at d1 with her knight before tilting her head back up, all while retaining her smug smirk. And to add the finishing touch, she gave a slight flick to her long pinkish-red hair, knowing full well this image of her would be on the title card for many articles and videos covering the game.

At this point, Mălina completely lost control and let out a frustrated shout before rapidly moving her pawn to c4 and smacking the clock so hard, it nearly toppled off the table. Kaylee remained smug though and began matching Mălina's pace, moving her pawn to g3. Mălina's brain appeared to have fried at this point as she simply moved her queen to f6 before immediately smacking the clock.

"Don't tell me she's thinking she can flag her, there's still tons of time on both clocks, not to mention the time control at the 40th move if the game reaches that point," Mimoko thought as Kaylee moved her queen to e2.

Mălina viciously captured the pawn at b3 with her c-pawn, inching closer to promotion, yet Kaylee countered perfectly by capturing the pawn at a6 with her queen, stopping the pawn in it's tracks. Mălina immediately flung her pawn to e5, but her psych was about to be tormented once more as with queen a8, she was in check, meaning Kaylee could get a line in.

"Ah-"

Slam!

Kaylee paused and shot Mălina a "really?" look as she had cut her off by moving her king to e7. So to solve that, Kaylee put her in check again by moving her queen to a7. King e8 before she could get a syllable out of her mouth. Queen b8, once again, king d7 before a syllable could be spoken. Knight captures e5, and after king e6, Kaylee began to pout as she couldn't deliver any more checks, instead moving her pawn to f4.

But now Mălina was free to capture the pawn at a2, inching ever so closer to having two queens. "I'm so close! She goes queen a8, I go queen d8, she captures, then bishop a3 and I win!"

Unfortunately for Mălina, not only was her winning plan completely flawed, but her last move had now allowed Kaylee to give her the oh so cruelest of torments.

"Check! Now-"

Mălina's eyes went bloodshot as Kaylee moved her queen to c8, moving her king to d5 as fast as she could.

"SMUG-"

SLAM!

Once again, Mălina didn't give Kaylee the chance to speak, getting out of the check from the queen at d7 by moving her bishop to d6. This time, Kaylee stared at the board for a bit before a slightly more malicious grin occupied her face. She didn't even try to talk, simply grinning as she captured the pawn at c6 with her queen.

Mălina froze, yet didn't seem frightened in the slightest. On the contrary, she seemed more disgusted by Kaylee as she moved her king to e6. Though she soon found herself getting uneasy. Queen d7, check, forced her king to d5, but then the other knight became more active, delivering a check by moving to e3.

"No way. She played that abomination of an opening... I'm not going to lose to THAT!" Mălina scoffed in her mind as she moved her king to c5.

But little did she know, she had just walked right into Kaylee's palm, and continued to do so after queen c6, check, prompted her to move her king to b4. And finally after knight c2, check, she had walked into the trap by moving her king to b3.

"No escaping now! Everything's forced!" Kaylee gleefully thought as she moved her queen to c4.

Mălina scowled and moved her king to b2, but after Kaylee moved her knight to d3, she began to sweat a bit.

"No, no, no. I've still got this. My queen and bishop have the dark squares around my king covered," she thought as she moved her king to b1. But as soon as she took her hand off the piece, she realized too little too late what Kaylee had planned for her.

"NO! I CAN'T LOSE LIKE THAT!" she thought as she frantically extended her hand, intending to resign before Kaylee could make her move. Yet she was too late.

Kaylee had been waiting for this moment and as soon as Mălina had taken her hand off her king, she rapidly moved her king up to e2, winning the game.

"Checkmate! Wow, thanks for allowing me to body you with a King David's pitfall mate! Guess we'll call this Drăculeșting, cuz to the loser goes eternal humiliation," Kaylee snickered as she reached out and mockingly shook Mălina's hand.

Mălina stared in shock as tears began to pour out of her eyes. Kaylee on the other hand,  proudly handed her move sheet to the arbiters and began strutting out with pride at the fact she had clinched Belgium a 2.5-1.5 victory over Romania with such a satisfying win.

"YO! Is that Tea-baggin' Chaya!? Girl's just as crazy in the flesh as she is on stream! I hope we play her," Iori thought as she gazed up at Mimoko.

Mimoko however frowned as she stared at the board, or rather Mălina's move sheet that was still sitting there due to Mălina having yet to snap out of her daze.

"That girl, the name card says she's Kaylee Shamir and holds the title of international master as well as a rating of 2408. She also won a game with a dubious opening, yet the ending sequence was so beautifully executed, I'd be a disgrace to chess if I criticized it. But if we were to face each other, it'd be like fighting Tanabe-kun... No, she seems far more sophisticated, or rather sadistic. She was making use of everything at her disposal to get in Mălina-chan's head. I wonder, would we really prevail if we face a team of monsters like her?"

The full game:

White: Kaylee Shamir (2408) Black: Mălina Drăculești (2348)

1. e4 c5

2. Ke2 Nc6

3. Nc3 Nf6

4. Ke1 d5

5. exd5 Nxd5

6. Bb5 a6

7. Bxc6+ bxc6

8. b3 Bf5

9. Bb2 Nb4

10. d3 Bxd3

11. cxd3 Nxd3+

12. Ke2 Nxb2

13. Qc2 Qd6

14. Qxb2 Rd8

15. Nf3 Qd3+

16. Ke1 Rd6

17. Rd1 Qg6

18. Kf1 Rxd1+

19. Nxd1 c4

20. g3 Qf6

21. Qe2 cxb3

22. Qxa6 e5

23. Qa8+ Ke7

24. Qa7+ Ke8

25. Qb8+ Kd7

26. Nxe5+ Ke6

27. f4 bxa2

28. Qc8+ Kd5

29. Qd7+ Bd6

30. Qxc6+ Ke6

31. Qd7+ Kd5

32. Ne3+ Kc5

33. Qc6+ Kb4

34. Nc2+ Kb3

35. Qc4+ Kb2

36. Nd3+ Kb1

37. Ke2#

Match score:

Belgium: 2.5 Romania: 1.5

Belgium wins 2.5-1.5