27 Stonegarden Castle / Ruby and the King

Previously, on Usagi Days: Ruby has arrived at the gates of Stonegarden Castle, riding the Usagi like a horse-drawn carriage. The King marches out to meet her, and she kneels in a show of deference. What could she be thinking!?

- 27.1 - Flashback: Heist Planning, #1 -

(Ruby: "Uh-uh. No way. Ain't no way. I'm not bowing to that tyrant. That murderer. That forced-marriage-er."

Sylvie: "You have to bow, Usagi-chan. It's a great dishonor if you don't."

Ruby: "Absolutely not. Not happening."

Anemone, sighing: "I totally get it, Rubes. But I'm with Sylvie on this one. You have to."

Ivy: "I don't like it either, but she's right. Think about it. He throws people into the dungeons if you don't talk the right way. What do you think he'll do to you if you don't play along?")

- 27.2 - The Usagi Needs Repairs -

Ruby stood back up again. The horses hitched to the Usagi whinnied softly, pawed at the ground.

Ruby: "My lord. Riches hold no sway over me. I need no reward, for I come in need of aid. The Usagi hath fallen into disrepair. None but I can mend it. Yet I lack the tools and means to do so. … I humbly request to make use of thy resources—thy forge, thy hammer, thy materials—so that I might restore it to its former state."

King: "Ah, so 'tis my noble heart thou seek to move. Tell me, my lady—what shall I gain for my charity?"

Ruby: "In exchange for thy generosity, sire … I offer the Usagi unto thee, as tribute. Once its repairs be complete, it shall be thine to command. To wage wars, and to vanquish thine enemies. With it, thou mayst carry out thy will.

"… And in addition, I pledge myself to thee."

King, raising an eyebrow: "Thou art a lover of freedom, so I am told. Wouldst thou truly remain within mine walls, bound to me?"

Ruby: "Please, sire! The thought of parting with my beloved Usagi is more than I can bear. I shall remain within thy splendid walls, and serve thee. In return, I beg thee, grant me leave to ride the Usagi from time to time. For thou must understand, the Usagi and I have shared many years.

"I have heard much of thy magnanimity, my lord. Surely a ruler of thy great kindness would permit me such a kindness."

Ruby lowered her head once more, then stole a glance upward to gauge his reaction.

He was smiling broadly, clearly impressed with Ruby's humility and submission.

Internally she breathed a sigh of relief.

She had certainly practiced enough, to play the part.

- 27.3 - Flashback: Heist Planning, #2 -

(Ruby: "So, what … We make him think we need his help to repair the vehicle? And that I'll give him the Usagi, in exchange?"

Sylvie: "Yeah. His initial offer, his gold—you've waited too long to collect. He's not going to buy the fact that you come strolling in, after all this time, and you suddenly decide you want the cash. That's going to look fishy."

Anemone: "Our only real advantage here, is the fact that he doesn't know the car repairs itself, randomly."

Sylvie, dead-pan: "It does what now?"

Ruby: "Okay, but I don't know about all this fancy-shmancy talk. I don't know if I can pull it off."

Ivy: "It's not too hard, honestly. Call him 'sire', call him 'my liege'. If 'you' is a subject, use 'thou'. If 'you' is an object, use 'thee'. Simple."

Ruby, eyes spinning: "Subject … Object …"

Ivy: "Fear not, I'll coach thee through it all. We'll have thee speaking the tongue of olde yet! Oooh … All my fantasy reading is finally paying off …" Then, to Violet: "And you always said it was a waste of time!"

Violet: "… What was? Sorry, I wasn't really listening."

Sylvie: "Can we go back to the self-repairing part? I feel like we glossed over that …")

- 27.4 - The King Secures the Usagi -

King: "Come, my lady. I shall have my Sentinels escort the Usagi to its rightful station. Pray, follow me, and I shall show thee its new home. I believe thou shalt be well-pleased. 'Tis a fitting home for such a magnificent chariot!"

The King swung around, and began to march off. His Elite Knights followed suit.

Ruby followed behind them. Behind her, a Sentinel Knight climbed atop the Usagi, and took control of the horses.

As this odd procession marched through the pathways of Stonegarden Castle, Ruby took in the sights. As much as she hated the King, she had to admit—it was impressive. In size, and in beauty. A true testament to his wealth and power. (Then again, perhaps that made her hate him even more.)

They passed immaculately kept gardens, elaborate marble statues, well-maintained rows of houses and buildings. At one point they even passed what looked like an entire coliseum. An arena for cruel bloodsports, no doubt.

All the people they passed stopped and bowed to the King, before staring to gawk at the horse-drawn pink kei-car.

Finally, they arrived at a white marble building, about the size of a garage, with ornate gold trimmings all over the exterior. Two guards stood watch at the large painted wooden door, which they now opened at the approach of their king.

"Behold!" the King boomed. "The Usagi's storeroom!"

- 27.5 - Flashback: Heist Planning, #3 -

(Ruby: "He built. A freaking storeroom. Wow. He really counted on me saying 'Yes' to his offer, huh?"

Sylvie: "It's highly unlikely he built it himself, Usagi-chan. He has servants and workers to do that."

Ruby: "I … Yes. I know. It was just a figure of speech."

Ivy, giving a thumbs up: "Ruby! Nice tsukkomi!"

Sylvie: "I've recon'd the storeroom and the surrounding area. The only way in is going to be guarded night and day. You better believe that once the Usagi is in, it's going to stay there, and he's not letting you near it again the entire time. He'll have guards making sure of that."

Anemone: "By the way … How exactly are you getting into Stonegarden each time, when you case the joint out?"

Sylvie: "Wow, listen to you! 'Casing the joint'."

Anemone blushed.

Sylvie: "Let's just say, I have my ways … Which you'll be in on, very, very soon …")

- 27.6 - The King Inspects His Prize -

The horses were freed, and the Usagi was pushed into the storeroom.

The King walked around the car, inspecting it from every angle. He ran his hands over the body, the door handles. He opened the driver's seat door, and poked his head inside. He felt the material of the seats, the steering wheel.

Ruby endured the sight of him putting his greasy hands over the Usagi. Her eye twiched. Her stomach churned.

When he slid in to sit behind the wheel, it took every fiber of her being to keep herself from vomiting.

The King began fiddling with the various controls. The A/C knobs, the hazard lights, the hood latch …

Ruby: "STOP!"

The King turned to Ruby, suspiciously.

"… Pardon me, your majesty. The chariot … If thou dost lift the hood, the enchantment guarding it against the, um … Veil of Uncertainty"—hoping that he understood she meant the SDF—"shall be undone."

The King arched an eyebrow.

- 27.7 - Flashback: Heist Planning, #4 -

(Anemone: "We can't have him opening the hood. The game would be over before it even started."

Ruby: "Yeah, but … 'You can't open the hood, or else the Usagi stops being resistant to the SDF?' Come on. Even he's not buying that load of bull."

Sylvie: "He will. Think about it from his perspective. If there's a non-zero chance of it even happening, you think he's gonna take that chance? Nuh-uh. The only working car in the world? Oh, he'll be suspicious alright. But he'll buy it … for long enough. At least long enough for us to do our thing. That's all that matters.

"… Look, just make some stuff up. Tell him it's like the, uh … the cat in the box. Whatever that's called. You know. The one that's both alive and dead, until you open it."

Lucy, horrified: "Ki-tty … dead?")

- 27.8 - Ruby Tries to Explain Quantum Mechanics in Olde-Timey Speak, Fails Miserably -

Ruby, stiffly: "Ah, see, 'tis like a feline in a box, sire."

(She had no idea where she was going with this.)

Ruby, faltering: "Until one … opens the box to peer within, it is neither wholly alive … n-nor wholly dead, you see … But in some strange, uncertain state between."

(She was completely out of her element.)

Ruby, almost mumbling now: "The car's protection against the Veil of Uncertainty doth operate on … um, this very principle. As long as that which lieth under the hood doth contain the possibility to work, it can ward off the effects of the Veil."

(Get off the stage, Ruby. You're done. You're done!)

Ruby, thinly: "But sh-should thou open it, and behold the contents within, the possibility is made certain, and the Usagi may no longer function—ever again. Thus, it is imperative, s-sire … That thou must not open-eth … the hood … bonnet."

The King, still in the driver's seat, simply stared, his face blank.

She couldn't tell what he was thinking. If he was buying it or not. If he was ready to throw her into the Pit.

After a long silence, Ruby sighed heavily.

Ruby: "Look. Can we stop this charade? I can't keep talking like this. Please. Let's just talk like normal people. You have what I need, I have what you need. Let's just talk business. In plain language. What do you say?"

The King's face darkened.

Around them, the Sentinel Knights stiffened, held their breath. One of them was shaking, his armor clinking softly.

The King slowly rose from the seat, and approached Ruby.

She met his gaze as he walked to her, her heart pounding in her chest. A look of fearless determination on her face.