28 Stonegarden Castle / The Heist

Previously, on Usagi Days: The King moves the Usagi to a special, guarded storeroom. Ruby requests to converse in plain language. The King looks displeased.

- 28.1 - Enter the Spirits Merchant -

Some time before Ruby's appearance, another horse-drawn carriage had rolled up to the castle's drawbridge.

"HALT! WHO GOES THERE!"

The lone rider on the carriage was a lady in an oversized witch's hat that covered half her face. She greeted the guard: "Ah, Manny! Bonjour! So nice to see you, non? I trust you are well, oui?"

On the parapet, the guard, Manny, to another unseen guard: "Ay, 'tis but the foreign spirits merchant. Let her pass."

The drawbridge began to lower.

Danny: "Greetings again, spirits merchant! Be that a new carriage thou hast? … It seemeth … longer than usual."

The rider laughed. "An upgrade, oui! C'est bon?"

- 28.2 - Enter Sylvie -

The castle guards and workers were accustomed to Sylvie's weekly deliveries, and thought nothing of her as she drew up the carriage to the supply wing.

As usual, the first thing she did was unload a barrel from the back of the carriage, onto a dolly. This time, however, she looked left, and then right, before signaling to someone inside the carriage.

The person inside carefully handed Sylvie a stack of crates, which Sylvie took to the workers stationed in and out of the provisions shack next to the loading area.

Sylvie: "Bonjour, everyone! Nice to see you all again! (Kimiko, is that a new haircut, alors?) … Ah, you know, my back, it is killing me … It would be so kind of you to help me out with some of these crates, s'il vous plait …"

From her robe she slyly took out a fresh bottle of wine. The workers eyed it eagerly. They accepted the bribe without further questions, and each worker took a crate, to carry back to the keep.

Once the area was clear, Sylvie whistled.

Anemone, dressed in the standard-issue smock the castle's kitchen workers wore, carefully exited the carriage. Freed from the confined space, she blushed as she tugged at the unfamiliar garment. "I dunno. This feels weird. I don't think it suits me."

Sylvie: "Well, you better start getting used to it, if you don't want to attract attention."

Together, the two then began the process of unloading "Mk II" from the carriage.

Once they were done and "Mk II" was safely tucked away between the back of the provisions shack and the outer wall, surrounded by barrels and boxes for cover, the two of them were ready to begin.

Sylvie grabbed the handles and kicked the dolly into motion, just as the bribed workers were returning. She rubbed her nose. "Now come on. Let's do this."

- 28.3 - Flashback: Heist Planning -

(Sylvie: "The castle's main treasure room is a highly fortified, heavily guarded area in the main keep. Marble walls, marble floor. There's only one way in, and one way out, and the entire area is swarming with Elite Knights.

"… Which is why we're going to set our sights a little lower."

Ruby: "Lower?"

Sylvie: "Yes. As in, 'underground' lower. There's a set of stairs leading down below ground near the eastern wall. The hallway down there leads to several … how to put this … 'reject' treasure rooms. 'Lesser' treasures. Don't get me wrong, they're all still very valuable—just not valuable enough to display in his main trophy room."

Ruby: "Oh."

Sylvie: "… You sound disappointed."

Ruby: "No, I mean … It's just … When you said 'heist', I was thinking, like, cutting a glass skyroof open, and dangling in from the ceiling on a rope, and stuff like that. But, I mean … Whatever. It's fine. Scavenging a basement is fine too, I guess … (Like a rat …)"

Sylvie, exasperatedly: "You … You didn't even want to do a heist in the first place! Now you're disappointed!?"

Ivy: "Oh, man … Tsukkomi reversal …"

Violet: "You keep using that word. I still don't know what it means.")

- 28.4 - Anemone Cracks a Bottle -

Sylvie and Anemone pushed the dolly through the courtyard.

Anemone: "… Why the accent?"

Sylvie: "It helps me get into character. I think I'm pretty good at it, non? Plus, they're more relaxed about the old-timey talk if I use the accent …"

When they reached the eastern wall, Sylvie set the dolly with the barrel at the top of the stairs.

They crept softly down. At the bottom of the stairs, they pressed against the wall, and peeked around the corner.

Sylvie, whispering: "(It's that room, over there. Two doors down from where the guard's standing.)"

Anemone nodded. From her smock she pulled out two items.

In one hand: a bottle of wine.

In the other: a whole, raw, onion.

- 28.5 - Huh? What Was That Noise? -

The guard jumped at the sound of glass shattering.

He looked down the hallway. He drew his sword, began walking. Right before he turned the corner, a loud voice rang out from behind it.

"Ah, qu'est-ce que c'est? Just look at how clumsy you are, foolish girl! I told you to bring this wine to the kitchen, and I am finding you in the basement! Does this look like the kitchens to you! And you break the wine!"

He knew that voice, that accent. The spirits merchant. Making her weekly deliveries, he supposed. What was she doing all the way here?

He turned the corner, and saw the spirits merchant, hands on her hips, scolding a young kitchen worker.

The spirits merchant noticed him standing there. "Ah, vous, Monsieur Guard! Can you believe how clumsy these new workers are?" She gestured to the wine bottle shards on the floor. "Very expensive bottle, it was, non? Vintage! Mais oui!"

The clumsy kitchen girl cowered in fear. She turned her face to the guard, as if looking for help.

The guard's heart skipped a beat.

Her quivering lip. Her red, tear-stained cheeks. Those pleading eyes, her delicate face.

So helpless. So vulnerable. So—…

- 28.6 - Flashback: Joshiryoku Planning -

("… Moe!

"… Moe!

"… KYUN!"

Violet, shaking head, arms crossed: "No, no, no! Cuter, Annie! Cu-ter! Like this! Moe~ moe~ … KYUN!~"

Anemone, burying her face in her hands, literally dying of embarrassment: "I CAN'T! I JUST CAN'T! I'M NOT CUTE! I CAN'T EVER BE CUTE! Put Violet or Ivy in my place instead! I quit!"

Sylvie: "We need you, Anemone. You're the strongest. If things go south, we'll need you. It's gotta be you."

Anemone: "But … I'm tall, I'm awkward, I'm … I'm just not cute!"

Violet grabbed Anemone by the shoulders. "Don't worry, Annie. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be the fairest maiden in all of Stonegarden."

Anemone: "… I still can't cry on command, though."

Violet: "Oh, that's the least of our worries. I have an easy—stinky—fix for that.")

- 28.7 - Sylvie, Anemone and the Guard -

The guard blushed. He cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. "Thou canst not be here. Return to the kitchens, I prithee. I shall tend to the spill."

Anemone: "G-good s-sir, thou must accompany me. I know not the way back. 'Tis my first day, and I am quite lost in this massive castle."

The guard glanced nervously back at the hallway he was supposed to be guarding. "I … cannot. For I must return and guard my post."

Sylvie lightly slapped the guard's armored shoulder. "Vraiment? You will make this poor girl late for her duties, non? She will face the wrath of the head cook. The head cook will tell the steward, the steward will tell the chamberlain, and the chamberlain will tell the King!"

She slapped the side of his armored hip. "The King will throw her in the Pit, alors! C'est terrible!" She slapped his side, again, twice, to emphasize how terrible it was.

Guard: "Spirits merchant, I prithee … refrain from … lightly striking me."

Anemone shivered. "I w-wish not to go to the Pit … Good sir …"

The guard deliberated for a bit. Then, with a resigned sigh: "Very well. Fear not, you shall not end up in the Pit … But stray not this way again, I beg thee."

Anemone: "Oh, most kind sir! I am grateful!"

The guard led the way, and Anemone—who was planning to crawl into the nearest hole and die the moment this was all over—followed closely behind him.

Guard: "Thou art assigned to onion-chopping duty, my lady?"

Anemone: "S-something like that …"

Back at the stairs, Sylvie triumphantly twirled a keyring around her finger.

- 28.8 - Flashback: Heist (?) Planning -

(Ruby: "Let me put something crazy out there. What if we just … not steal anything?"

Sylvie: "We have to. It's a heist."

Ruby: "Is it, though? This is … this is turning into less of a heist by the second. I don't even know what this is anymore. We're breaking bottles, we're slicing onions, we're seducing guards …"

Anemone, beet red: "THAT'S NOT WHAT SEDUCTION IS, I'M NOT SEDUCING ANYONE—"

Ruby: "… And again, we're not thieves. Even if the King deserves to get robbed. We're not going to take any of the loot you make out with. So … can we just … skip it?")

- 28.9 - Sylvie is Done, Hears the Herald -

Sylvie made her way back up the stairs, lugging the barrel, which was now full of loot from the treasure room.

To nobody in particular: "No, unfortunately, Usagi-chan … we can't 'just skip it' …"

Halfway up the stairs, she heard a trumpet sound, all the way from the gates. She stopped to listen. The faint call of the herald announced Usagi-chan's arrival. The sound of the drawbridge lowering.

She took a deep breath, and then continued on.