Hidden Secrets

“I thought you were exaggerating a bit, but you are right. You’re in a huge mess, yeesh…”

It took about two hours for Nami to tell her friend the entire story, including, of course, her internal turmoil and all the emotions that accompanied her throughout. Aya was surprisingly calm while listening to all of it, which made the pianist quite uneasy at certain points. Nevertheless, she kept going until she was done.

“To be honest, I always had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to stay with Tsukasa in the long run,” she exclaimed casually.

“What do you mean?”

It came as a surprise to Nami. For so long, Nami had never heard anything negative about her relationship with Tsukasa, and yet, right now, she wasn’t surprised that her feelings for him weren’t as strong as they were before.

“How to explain it… It’s just that whenever you were at important events, especially when his parents were present, you just looked…” She started waving her hands chaotically, searching for the right words. “Stiff. Like you had to be picture-perfect by his side.”

“Was I really!?”

“Yeah! Don’t get me wrong, when you two were together at parties or something, you really looked nice and comfy. But in the eyes of all those people from the music industry, it’s like you always backed down and hid in Tsukasa’s shadow.”

The brunette was flabbergasted. She thought that both of them had always been equals—a picture-perfect couple. Was she really doing that?

“In comparison—and keep in mind, I may not know Atsushi that well; we barely had a chance to speak—when you talk about him, it’s like you let yourself just be, well, yourself,” Aya crossed her arms. “That’s what I meant by not being surprised.”

Nami looked down at her hands, both clenched into fists, occasionally relaxing only to tighten up again.

“Still, Tsukasa is my soulmate, not Atsushi…”

“To hell with Soullets!”

Nami’s head snapped up immediately to look at her redheaded friend.

“But you were matched with Erika! And you are happy together, aren’t you? Am I missing something?”

Aya’s loud demeanor suddenly faltered. “... We weren’t.”

“What?”

The redheaded woman hugged her legs tightly. “I… I didn’t want to tell you that, especially when I knew how stressed out you were about your own ceremony. I was supposed to tell you, though! I never wanted to keep it a secret forever! It was just… hard.”

“Wait. So you and Erika aren’t..?”

Aya got up from her seat to sit down next to the pianist. “I was actually matched with someone else before I met Erika. A guy.”

“But you don’t—”

“Exactly. But, you know, I thought that maybe I should give the guy a chance, so we tried.” She started playing with her fingers as her head fell onto Nami’s shoulder. “He was nice, but… it just didn’t feel romantic in any way. We still chat sometimes, actually. Then I met Erika, and you know more or less how it goes.”

“What about Erika’s soulmate, though?” Nami asked curiously.

“Her Soullet still glows white. We promised each other to let her meet the person when the time comes, if it ever comes. Some people are truly desperate, so we just… didn’t want anyone to wait forever. Whether she decides to stay with that person or me…” Her fidgety fingers stopped. “We’ll cross that bridge when it happens.”

This revelation was like a huge bomb being thrown at Nami. She had always been so set on the idea that Aya and Erika were another picture-perfect match made by the Soullet system. Yet, it was quite the contrary. It was another example of the system not working as perfectly as people thought. Atsushi’s frustration with Soullet being treated like a creation that is always one hundred percent correct made more sense than ever now.

“I’m sorry again for hiding it from you for so long.”

Nami looked at her best friend, her eyes immediately softening at the sight of the redhead’s fragile state. “Don’t worry about it. It must have been hard for you. I just wish I had been there to help you out somehow.”

“Just by always being a call away, you helped me more than you could imagine,” she hugged the pianist. “But now you see. The system is flawed sometimes. Maybe I really was a soulmate of that guy, but in a platonic way, and you and Tsukasa are just the same. He’s a sweet guy, so it wasn’t hard for you to have a crush on him, and it lasted long, but it wasn’t meant to be forever.”

“It has to be flawed. If it weren’t, we would have been matched a long time ago,” the brunette joked to ease the tension, if only a little.

“You’re so right for that. But then again, you think alternative music is better than rock, so I’m not so sure,” the redhead teased. “Also, on a more serious note, did you know only 0.5% of couples matched by the system aren’t male and female? I think they set biological compatibility a bit too high, but whatever. We don’t need those Soullets anyway.”

For a moment, the two women sat in complete silence, but it wasn’t awkward. This moment of peace brought a bit of comfort that both of them needed after talking about such serious topics. But hiding in the calm moments wouldn’t help Nami decide what to do next.

“There is no way to avoid breaking Tsukasa’s heart, is there?”

“I’m afraid it’s way too late to even look for such a way.”

“Ugh, why couldn’t I just fall in love with him unconditionally? My life would be so much easier.”

“You were never one to make anything easy on yourself,” Aya nudged her side. “But you know, if Tsukasa truly cares about you, he will understand. It’s not gonna hurt him any less, but he’ll be able to let you go. And if you’re even luckier, he might want to stay friends with you too… well, maybe after giving him some time.”

It didn’t cheer Nami up too much, but it gave her a glimpse of hope.

“It’s gonna be alright.”

Aya was right—or at least that was the only thought the pianist could cling to for confidence. Whatever happens, she has to face all the consequences like the adult she is.

It was unavoidable. Tomorrow, she would have to talk with Tsukasa.