Sticking to Conviction is Harder Than It Seems

“You’re late,” Hanami grumbled the second she saw Himeko, arms crossed. “I said ‘meet me at 8:30 sharp,’ not 8:35.”

“I’m sorry! I didn't mean to be late! I bought you breakfast!” Himeko replied, slightly winded as she bowed apologetically and handed the pink-haired girl one of the paper bags she held. Her wrist was weak as they exchanged the bag. The anticipation of today had kept her up all night.

She smoothed out her clothes – a white and blue sailor uniform, loafers, and calf-length white socks that Dr. Nakamura had somehow had delivered overnight – and hoped that was the cause of everyone staring at her. Himeko did look a little messy, but it wasn't her fault! She’d run all the way from her platform to Dr. Tsuru and Hanami’s after saying goodbye to Dr. Nakamura so she wouldn't be late, and she still was anyway. She sighed and looked up at Hanami before having to look down at her when she straightened up.

She wore the same uniform as Himeko, and her hair, in the same style as the day before, was held in place by a headband with two tiny devil horns on it. The black eyeliner she wore made her pink eyes striking. Both of her ears were pierced, though one had an industrial in the shape of a cherry blossom. Those were not her only piercings, either: she had an eyebrow piercing and two more beneath her lower lip, too.

“What is it?”

“Sata andagi. Dr. Nakamura told me you liked them.”

“Hm. All is forgiven then. Thanks, Himeko. Let’s get going.”

Himeko began eating her own doughnut as she followed Hanami through Shiroume Station and swiped her card as they entered a platform a few minutes later, remembering the name of the route. They stood beneath a hologram sign informing them that their train would be there in two minutes. “I thought you were going to make me look cute?”

“Oh yah. Here ya go.” Fishing a hairclip out of her bag, Hanami turned around and stared.

Himeko looked behind her, seeing only commuters gathering around them who also stared at her, and then at herself, but found nothing unsatisfactory or wrong with her appearance – except for what made her look obviously inhuman. She really wished she’d bought a handheld mirror.

“Is something wrong?” she asked anxiously.

Hanami shook her head, brows furrowed in confusion. She clipped the accessory to her collar and held her index fingers over her head. “You kind of have, um, triangles floating above your head?”

Himeko blinked. “What?”

The other girl grimaced, taking out a black compact mirror covered in shiny, moving stickers of band and game logos (Himeko recognized a few!) and handed it to Himeko. She opened it and stared in confusion at her own reflection.

Hanami hadn’t been lying. A few tiny, glittering triangles floated over Himeko’s head, arched so they resembled like a tiara. She rotated her head once. They followed. She did it again, and then again, and still her triangle tiara remained. She stared at Hanami helplessly. “I don’t know where they came from.”

“Are they hurting you?”

“No?”

Hanami shrugged. “Then don’t worry about it for now. Maybe it's your halo. You were dead, after all.”

“But I’m not dead anymore,” Himeko pointed out. “At least, not most of me. Part of me definitely is, but-!”

“-You’re thinking too much. There's bound to be lots of weird things like this with you, considering you're the first person ever brought back from the dead.” Hanami flicked her in the forehead as their train slid into place and the doors opened.

“But I-!”

“If you really can’t accept it like that, then consider it a crown. Hehe.” Smirking, Hanami grabbed Himeko’s wrist and began pulling her along so she wouldn't get swept away by the crowd as they entered the bullet train.

“I don't want a crown, though!” Himeko protested, keeping her voice low as she took her seat next to Hanami. “My appearance is unsettling enough as is!”

“Ehhh? ‘Unsettling?’ You really have a warped sense of self from dying.”

The train doors slid shut as Himeko frowned and stared at her appearance through the mirror: the dots on her cheeks, the triangles above her head, the way her cobalt blue eyes glowed in a way organic eyes didn't. It felt uncanny. She looked at her companion. Was Himeko’s appearance really not the same to Hanami?

“Aren't I though?” she asked.

“Nah. But even if you were, who cares? I don't. We have something more important to do,” Leaning back in her seat, Hanami took out her phone, flicking through it as she handed Himeko an earbud. “Put it in. It's my sacred duty to make sure you know what good music is in the ultramodern age.”

Himeko sighed. She tried to give her pink-haired companion a small smile, even if she couldn't believe her words, and put the earbud in. She listened to the strange electro-rock Hanami played, her hands clasped together in her lap as she watched the world go by from the train window.

✦✦✦

“Ms. Zaiyabōto, I’m terribly sorry to have to say this but your test scores are just too high for you to attend as a normal student. It would be best if you attended the local university instead.” Said Principal Saitō of New Urania High, holding the stack of Himeko’s test papers as he sat as his desk.

Himeko felt terror grip her heart. She jerked her head up. “What? You said last night that I could attend.”

“That was last night, and before you finished both the entrance and final exams in less than thirty minutes after you got here. You can't possibly say that you should be here after that. No, I respect you more than that, Dr. Zaiyabōto, and that’s why I can't allow you to waste your time here.”

“But I want to waste my time here.”

Principal Saitō eyed her, putting her papers down before standing up. He walked over to the office’s lone desk, dragged in for Himeko alone, and leaned against it. He was a young man, only a few years post university graduation, and he had slicked-back black hair that made him look sort of like a porcupine.

“All you can do here is electives, and even those would be better in a university setting,” he said softly, his expression sympathetic, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Ms. Zaiyabōto, I understand you wish to attend school here, but you are too intelligent to clip your wings by insisting on this school. Ah, the grips of being a genius.”

“Then I will take electives here and attend university for my main classes as you suggested, but I won't be dissuaded. I must attend school here.” Said Himeko. She didn't waver, her expression stern, as she looked into Principal Saitō’s eyes defiantly.

“Why? Why are you so insistent?”

“I made a promise to somebody.”

The principal sighed with a soft smile, pushing himself off the desk. “Alright, Doctor, I understand. What electives would you like to take?”

“You-you changed your mind?”

“You’re Himeko Zaiyabōto,” he said simply, as if it was enough to explain. He handed her a sheet of paper full of boxes. “Now, what electives do you want to take?”

Himeko looked at the paper, skimming its many options thrice over before making her choices: art, music, and physical education, curious to see the effects of the latter with her new body. She giggled to herself, concealing her smile with her finger as she handed it to the principal.

Even after her declaration, Himeko was still a curious scientist at heart.

Principal Saitō took the paper and looked it over with a curious expression. He held it as he walked to the office door, opening it before beckoning Himeko. “Well, Ms. Zaiyabōto, are you ready to meet your classmates?”

✦✦✦

Himeko stood outside the 3-A classroom, her hand raised and poised to knock, yet trepidation had planted its claws firmly in her heart. Obscured figures moved around in the opaque window cover in the door, and she could hear the low chatter that came with lunch from behind it. Principal Saitō’s footsteps faded away as her hand hovered, and she finally dropped it to back away and lean against the wall, bag in hand.

This school, though as new as New Urania itself, was hardly different than the school Himeko had hardly spent time in. Both were pristine and mostly beige with large glass windows that left nothing in the schoolyard to the imagination, though celestial blue was painted in a stripe above and below the windows and in a single stripe on the floors of New Urania High.

Her eyes flicked to a lone clock on the wall. The minutes till the next period began were ticking down, and with it her chance to introduce herself that day. Himeko squeezed her bag.

She’d never been afraid to introduce herself in her first life, because she didn’t care what impression she made. Impressions were nothing compared to progress. Impressions of her were nothing, because she was nothing but her work. This hesitation was new and scary, and Himeko hated it. She hated how pathetic she was compared to her past self-

“-Eh? Himeko? Why are you moping on the ground?”

Himeko jumped, jerking her head to look behind her back. “Hanami? This is your classroom?”

“Duh. Answer my question.”

“Well, 3-A is my class, too. I was getting ready to come in.”

Hanami rolled her eyes, “I have a feeling that's not the real answer to what I asked.” She stuck her hand out to Himeko, her expression soft. “I know you must be worried, but everyone's pretty nice in there. And, if anyone has a problem with you, I’ll punt them into next week.”

“Promise?” asked Himeko, taking the pink-haired girl’s hand and allowing her to pull her to her feet.

“Promise, except for the punting. I can bite their ankles, though.”

Himeko laughed, a real and full-bodied one that she hadn’t done since her resurrection, as she was pulled inside the classroom.

“Hey, everyone!” Hanami said, her hands cupped to amplify her voice. “We have a new classmate!”

The quiet chatter faded into whispers the second Himeko entered.

A thousand piercing eyes on her raked over her from head to tow, their silent judgement a cacophony that nearly froze her into place, but Himeko clutched her bag and bent herself in half in a bow so she didn't have to meet anyone’s eyes, her own squeezed shut.

“I’m Himeko Zaiyabōto! It’s nice to meet you all!”