Fight Back

The sun has set and rose three times since the day in the shooting range. The days have been nauseatingly repetitive – sleep, eat nasty slop, forced to run laps, cleaning or maintenance duties, and having to deal with Ezri’s insufferable presence. But most annoyingly, they’re so persistent about coercing me and Jasper into using a gun. Shiloh’s already too far gone, heading to the tent at noon then not coming out until past dusk, like she can’t get enough of it.

“I hope you realize that you’re looking at 10 years of sleep by this point,” I say while picking up dishes from a table used for breakfast in the Spearhead’s mess hall, one of the few sections in the massive thing that’s avoided damage.

“You saying you’re gonna snitch on me?” She grins. “How else would the IPU find out?”

My loyalties to the IPU, or my friendship with Shiloh… On one hand, justice is impartial, on the other… It’s Shiloh, a goofball who wouldn’t hurt a fly, or dare touch a gun if it weren’t for this crazy situation.

“You could at least try not to have so much fun with it.”

She makes a guilty face, like a kid caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “I don’t know what it is, but when I took that first shot… It was just— riveting, and now I’m hooked.”

“Shiloh, what are guns used for?”

“To—”

“To kill,” I finish for her. “You’re using something that’s only purpose is to do just that.”

Shiloh frowns, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “Well, what about the golems? Nobody minds them having guns and stuff.”

“Because golems aren’t people. They can’t feel things, can’t get a craving for violence – they just do what has to be done, nothing attached to it… But our minds are too vulnerable for that. It’s playing with fire, Shiloh.”

“Maybe we’re wrong about that, though.”

I almost drop the bowls, barely believing what I just heard. The words slip out of her mouth so naturally, but a wave of regret is seen across her right after.

“What did you just say?”

“I mean, think about it… Would it really be so bad to trust ourselves some? Ezri wouldn’t have gotten this far if the IPU just, you know, stood up.”

“It was complicated, you didn’t see what was going on behind the scenes. There were too many factors at play—”

“Nah, sounds like excuses. Like, they couldn’t keep her contained or something?”

If these bowls were made of anything other than ceramic, they’d be crushed by how tightly I’m holding them. I’m tempted to snap some sense into her head, but the memory of the argument with Dad that night comes back to remind me that I was in her shoes, accusing the IPU of being too cowardly, of not being good enough.

That was wrong of me, though. I should’ve known better – the IPU has, and always will do, what’s best for us. Shiloh, just like me, has forgotten that.

“But what do I know, right? I’m just a civilian,” she says with a shrug.

“Hey, you two, the boss wants you outside,” Petra says, now standing at the door. “Hop to it!”

Just the thought of seeing Ezri is enough to make me groan. We save wrapping up cleaning for later and heed Petra’s instruction. Much of the Liberation is gathered in a circle with Ezri in the middle looking all “intense,” give me a break. Shiloh and I walk forward to join Jasper along the sidelines, but the voice that grinds my gears to no end calls for me.

“Calla, come here.”

Once I stand before her, vexation etched across my face, Ezri says, “You’re still not going to use a gun, correct?”

“Never.”

“No matter how much we try to convince you?”

“Did I stutter?”

“So I thought.” Ezri turns to look at the soldiers around us, then speaks again after she begins to pace, “Tell me, everyone – what is a chain?”

“As strong as its weakest link,” they answer in synchrony. What a cult.

“And considering what we’ll be going up against, any weakness would be an issue, right?”

This seems to get a stronger reaction out of them, charging the atmosphere with raised fists and vehement outcries of consensus. She’s still going on about that bogus story of impending doom that she refuses to elaborate on. It’s been three days already, if it’s so urgent, then where is it?

“Exactly. It’s something we can’t afford.”

“That isn’t my probl—!”

Suddenly I’m forced downward and Ezri’s knee slams into my stomach, causing me to stumble onto my knees while clutching my gut. Before I can even grasp what’s going on, Ezri lands a hard hit straight into my side with her boot, sending a shockwave through me as I sprawl out on the desert sands. The wind knocked out of me, I struggle to catch my ragged breath, all while Ezri relentlessly pursues me with a stampede of kicks.

“Why not try and fight back? You won’t shoot a gun, but will you at least defend yourself?” She taunts me, while her followers cheer her on, their excitement muting out the hysterical protests and shouts from Shiloh and Jasper. “Or is the law really that important?”

The whole earth is unsteady, the ground is tipping over. Everywhere hurts, each strike from Ezri hitting like a brick. My only reaction, besides pathetic whimpers, is curling into a ball and covering my head. I don’t try to get up, don’t try to resist in the slightest.

“You don’t have to be so rough with her, Ezri,” Ace says from the crowd.

Ezri scoffs. “If she wants me to stop, then she’ll have to do something about it,” she stomps my abdomen, making me cough.

So much for those droids keeping me “unharmed,” this psychopath just wants me alive at bare minimum. Jasper runs away, apparently the sight is too much for him. Pain shoots through every inch of me like a lightning bolt. Is it normal for someone to be this strong? Then again, I don’t have anybody else to compare her to – I’ve never even been shoved before.

“You’re going to be a bloody pulp at this rate, blondie. You sure you want to keep laying there?”

I couldn’t stand up even if I wanted to with how aggressive you’re being, you lunatic!

“Stop!”

Jasper cries out. I didn’t think it was possible for my adrenaline to pump any faster, but seeing him holding a gun, his finger on the trigger – that makes it exceed limits. He has the gun aimed at Ezri, and quicker than anyone can prevent him, he fires it three times without restraint. But perhaps from a combination of inexperience and shaky hands, each ray misses her completely.

Soldiers pounce on Jasper, pinning him down and disarming him. Shiloh tries to reach him, but her futile attempt results in a similar fate.

“At least somebody isn’t a weakling…” Ezri says, after an effortless recovery from the shock – then she looks down at me, and my chest tightens when there’s a sick gleam of mischief in her eyes. “But we can’t let that go unpunished.”

With a flick of her hand, she coldly commands the soldiers, “Execute him.”

They’re still, as if questioning her certainty, but after she repeats herself, a gun is pointed at Jasper’s head. Heart pounding, the pain has vanished instantaneously, or rather, I’m ignoring it as if it has. My instincts control me, I spring unto my feet and lunge forward, my right-hand balls into a fist. It happens in a blink – I’ve just punched Ezri in the face.

There it went, my lifetime clean record.

It was a weak punch, I doubt it even hurt – but once it lands, I regain awareness of my beaten state, and can’t help myself from falling onto Ezri. She holds me up, and from underneath my head, I feel her body jiggling. Shortly later, she lets out a roaring laugh.

“Good job, blondie!” She gives me favorable pats on the back. “That wasn’t so difficult, was it? Didn’t it feel great?”

“Let Jasper go,” I mumble. “I gave you what you wanted, didn’t I?”

“Hm, yes – I suppose that’s fair.”

Jasper’s life is spared, though he does get dragged into the Spearhead, probably to be put under confinement. My hand doesn’t even feel like my own anymore, instead it’s some foreign entity that acted against my will, yet is somehow still connected to my flesh.

It wasn’t my fault – Ezri pushed me too far, Jasper was in danger.

I can’t be blamed for that. Surely not.

This is Ezri’s doing, not mine – how could it be? I never do anything wrong.

“You’re learning,” Ezri says. “One day, you’ll thank me.”