Despite Our Best Efforts, We Humans Cannot Fully Control Our Thoughts and Feelings

“Let me out.” I pounded my palm on the door, but it didn’t budge. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” came the voice of the woman from the other side of the door, “but I have orders to keep you here while we investigate. I’m sorry.”

I tried the bars, but they were solid. After pacing around the room a few times, I convinced myself there was no escape, so I curled up in the bed. At least it was soft and warm. Didn’t expect that from a jail bed.

The next morning, I was roused from my sleep by a knock on the door. It opened, and the woman entered the room carrying a tray with rice and grilled fish. I thought about rushing her and making an escape. I knew I could overpower her before the door closed, but what then? I wouldn’t be welcome in the Federation if I attacked her. So instead, I sat up on the bed and looked her straight in the eyes. “How long are you holding me?”

“I don’t know.” There was something in her voice that told me she was lying.

“I want to see a lawyer. As a Federation citizen, I have that right.”

“Only once you’ve been charged.”

“Then charge me or let me go.”

She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. Under normal circumstances, we can hold prisoners for up to forty-eight hours before charging them, but if we go before a judge, we could get that extended to twenty-three days. In your case, though, we can hold you as long as we want.”

“Because no one knows I’m here?”

“Because you’re a nekomimi.” She looked away as she said it. I’d told her that I considered myself human, and she was denying me even that. She may have been acting under orders, but that didn’t make it sting any less.

Without thinking, I jumped up from my bed and grabbed her by the collar. “I saved the world, and this is how you thank me? I thought we were on the same side.”

Hardening her expression, she looked me straight in the eyes. “We are, but you’re a walking murder machine. What happens if we let you into the city and you start killing people? You took town ten hardened soldiers like it was nothing. How many police officers would we lose trying to take you in?”

“I wouldn’t do that! I only ever killed because I had to. I even spared Rosalie. I’m not a murderer.”

She looked away again. “I know, but what if you felt threatened? The way you described ‘toying’ with your ‘prey’ has the higher-ups worried that, in the right circumstances, you wouldn’t see your victims as… human.”

I growled and let her go. “Just like they don’t see me as human. If I cooperate, will that prove I’m safe enough to let into the city?”

“Maybe. Probably not. For what it’s worth, I don’t like this any more than you.”

If that were true, you’d let me out, I thought, but I kept it to myself. I could see in her eyes that she believed she was doing what was necessary. “Whatever. Thanks for the breakfast.”

With a forced smile on her face, she held out the tray to me, but she hesitated to let go for the briefest moment. It was a small thing, but it was enough to make me suspicious.

“You poisoned this, didn’t you? Your higher-ups have already decided what to do about me.”

“Sorry, I—” But instead of trying to make an excuse, she turned on her heels and walked out of the room.

I ran after her, grabbing the door to prevent her from closing it. “You can’t just put me down like I’m some kind of animal. We’re human, dammit! Nekomimi are human! Even Apollo was human, even if he didn’t realize it.”

“Get back.” She grabbed my wrist and tried to pull it off the door. When that didn’t work, she kicked at my stomach. Of course, my reflexes were so good that I dodged her in slow motion, but I had to release the door to do so. I spun around to try to catch it before she could close it, but she had stepped back into the room, and my claws dug into her upper arm.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I stepped back in horror. Had I just proved their point about me? Was I too dangerous to be around fragile humans? She didn’t say anything but quickly backed out and slammed the door. I didn’t try to stop her this time.

⁂

I never saw the woman again, but that evening, I heard heavy, rhythmic footsteps coming down the hall, accompanied by the quiet whirring of motors. The door opened, and, just as I suspected, a gynoid wearing a black pantsuit walked in.

I remained sitting on the bed and eyed her with suspicion. “You here to save me or to end me?”

“I am here to represent you.”

“They actually charged me? But I didn’t do anything illegal.”

“You have been charged with assault on a police officer, which is most certainly a crime.”

“But I didn’t—” The words were halfway out of my mouth before I realized the favor the guard had done me. After I accidentally scratched her arm, she must have filed a complaint. The legal system had no choice but to charge me, and thus, provide me an attorney. “You have to get me out of here. They tried to poison my food.”

“I am aware. However, the issue of whether you are safe to release into the city remains unresolved.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them. “I didn’t mean to hurt the guard. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Even if I could get you released from this place, you are a minor. Unless you have a guardian willing to take you in, you would be a ward of the state, and they would keep you in the only facility equipped to handle nekomimi—”

“I’m human.”

“So you say, but the law does not agree with that interpretation.”

“What about you?”

“Whether or not I believe you are human makes little—.”

I held up a hand to stop her. “No, I mean, does the law consider you human?”

“It does not.”

“Well, I do.”

“Whether you believe I am human also makes little difference, but for the record, I have never once considered myself such. Not all gynoids subscribe to the philosophy that we belong to the same category as our creators.”

I was completely shocked. How could someone not want to be human? “Then what are you?”

Without answering the question, the gynoid took a seat next to me on the bed. It creaked under her weight but did not break. “Second Lieutenant R. Minori, who handed off the nuke to you, believed only that the legal separation of sapient beings was harmful to society. Her other arguments were sophistry, and I fear she has deceived you into turning a blind eye to some harsh truths.”

It took me a moment to process that, but ultimately, it changed nothing. “So what? Even if she was being insincere, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a sincere belief in my own humanity.”

She tilted her head to look at me. “Then, in your opinion, what is the definition of humanity? How does a human differ from other creatures?”

“I think… humans take responsibility for their own actions. That’s why I think that even Apollo was human in his own way. A cat couldn’t have done what he did.”

“Second Lieutenant R. Minori did not take responsibility. She foisted it on you.” She stood up and took a step toward the door. “As I was the one who assembled her, you might consider her to be my daughter. If you look at it that way, then I should be the one to take responsibility for her actions.”

“What do you mean?”

She turned back to me and held out a hand. “You need a guardian; I will adopt you. Let us be humans together.”