Nightmare. II

Consumed by my torment, I stepped out of the elevator and returned to my room. Once again, in the dead of night, I dragged myself toward the shower.

Katy was already asleep, so I made an effort not to make any noise.

I don’t know how much time I have left...

Finally, I collapsed onto the mattress on the floor, even the sheets felt rough against my skin.

I’d gone the entire day without eating, but I wasn’t hungry. I’d been awake for two days straight, but I couldn’t rest. It was summer, but my chest felt cold.

“Damn it…” I sighed. The darkness in the room served as my only sedative.

Suddenly, her hand brushed against my cheek. I could barely see her in the faint light.

“Katy...”

“Isayama, are you okay?” I heard her gentle voice from the other mattress.

I tried to suppress my feelings, even though her soft fingers seemed determined to break through my defenses.

“Everything’s fine. I’m slowly finding new clues.” I lied.

The silence of the night made the moment torturous. Only the distant lights, far beyond our shared misery, painted the somber scene.

“When did you realize it?” I felt her hand trembling faintly.

Before answering, I held her hand in both of mine.

“Isayama?”

“I realized it when Shinpei died. Since the moment you dropped your pen... Or when you spilled your coffee...”

“I see. So I’m a terrible actress.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong... It’s just that I’m always watching you,” I stammered, teetering on the brink of collapse.

“How did it go the other day with Tatsumi?” She leaned over her mattress, her silhouette faintly visible.

“G-good, thanks to Yamaguchi-sensei we’ll be able to solve the case in time...”

She slid down onto my bed.

With her trembling hands, she guided my fingers to her face.

The warmth of her breaths reached me in uneven bursts, and her cheek felt damp.

I spent a few seconds wiping the sadness from her face.

“Don’t worry, everything’s moving along,” I whispered.

“I-Isayama...” she stammered as she curled herself around me.

I stroked her gently once more.

“Can you feel my hand?”

“Not much,” she said, the words catching in her throat as she struggled not to fall apart. “It’s not as warm as before...”

“And this?” I kissed her forehead softly, prompting her to bury herself into my chest.

“Very little... I’m scared...”

Fighting to keep breathing, I began to run my fingers through her black hair.

“Tatsumi and I will fix this,” I murmured as I continued to comb through her hair in the darkness.

“Isayama.” Her voice grew shakier.

“Tell me, Katy.”

“I don’t want to forget you...”

“You won’t.”

“Please, I’m so scared...”

“I’m here with you. I’ll help you.”

“I don’t want to die...”

I didn’t know what to do, nor what to say.

I could only be there, terrified of each passing second as the clock counted down.

“Please, Isayama...”

“What is it?” I fought to keep myself from breaking down.

“If I stop being myself, will you remember me as I was?”

“I’m not worried about that...”

“N-not?”

“You promised me that even if you lost all your memories, you’d fall in love with me again. Right?”

She broke into tears.

They were the cries of a defenseless child.

The tears of someone pleading for help, dragged away by an unstoppable current.

Even though the biological weapon was ravaging her body, I realized that I was more dead than she was. The suicidal exhaustion that consumed me left me with no tears to offer her.