Sleepover II

"I don't want to talk about it," Ana turned away from Hitomi. "What about your guy's parents? Why did you join the military?" She curled up in her sleeping bag.

"I have 3 sisters and 4 brothers," Khalid said. "We are a huge family, my father always told me that since I was the biggest and strongest I should go to the military and I was like alright."

"That's it?" Ana laughed. "You really are a simple guy Khalid."

Khalid smiled and shrugged, "I'm not complaining, I think it was a good choice and I don't know what else I would have done. My father didn't decide for all of my siblings what they were going to do, my sisters all had ambitions to go into science and he supported them. I had no idea what I was going to do, he always suggested the military, and well why not? He is a very strong authority in the house, he rarely yells, but everyone listens to him speak. Kind of like Mok. What about the rest of you guys?"

"You all know why I am here, to get that pathway to citizenship! Don't report me Roy!" Ljubiša grabbed and shook Roy's sleeping bag.

"Stop that!" Roy pushed him away, "I guess you should be able to stay. You did save your group and I think that was brilliant. However, if you don't want to get reported, stop freaking stealing all of the time."

Ljubiša clapped his hand together and winked, "I promise, from now I am turning a new leaf. I am a new me, no more stealing, no more lying! I promise."

Roy rubbed his hands to warm himself up, "I guess it's not entirely your fault you steal given what kind of role models you have. While we are on the subject of parents and our reasons for joining the military, I want to talk about my situation. I did a test at 13 to determine based on your personality and skills, what your ideal career path would be. They said since I have a strong respect for authority and rules and am very athletic, I should go to a military academy and here we are."

"You mean your dad had nothing to do with your choice?" Ana jumped in surprise.

Roy shook his head, "Not really, he was proud of me getting into Celio's military academy but he never pushed me in that direction."

"I am curious," Brigham put his hand on his chin. "Why do you respect rules and authority so much?"

"I think it comes from my upbringing, I was taught that if one person doesn't respect the rules then it gives everyone a reason to break them too. Punishing the rule breakers can only go so far if no one respects and upholds laws and rules. You can't punish everyone so it is up to you as an individual to enforce them. Authority is there for a reason and the ones who designed the rules probably had good justifications for why they were there. My dad was never very strict, but he did instill these values in me, though he always pokes fun at me for taking that advice too literally." The rest of the kids laughed briefly and Roy continued, "Maybe he is right, but it feels right to me when I stick to the rules."

Brigham adjusted in his sleeping bag and said, "My reason also didn't come from my parents, just like you Roy. I have always had a desire to change the world, make a positive impact, and help humanity. I know all of you must think it sounds so corny, but it's true. My parents are very hard-working, they never suggested I join the military. Honestly, they were a little bit against it, but they supported me either way. I felt that in our military I would have a leadership position where I could truly make an impact. I always wanted to lead, although I never imagined us in this situation. I hope I have been leading us the right way so far."

"Don't worry I think you've been an amazing leader," Curro placed his hand on his best friend, "you've led us through this crisis better than I think any of us could have!"

"I think you've been a great leader too," Ana reluctantly admitted.

"I have to agree, while I don't agree with every one of your decisions," Roy said, "I think Mok made the right call choosing you."

"Fine I will say it too," Hitomi punched her sleeping bag, "You've done a good job! Ya happy?"

The rest of Lupus shared the sentiment and it made Brigham tear up a little.

While Brigham always was a bright kid and a firm character, one could argue that he had the capabilities of being a leader precisely because he came from a stable and loving home. He didn’t have any internal issues from his childhood and so he possessed a clear-headedness and understanding.

"Not to be that guy," Emidio chimed in, "But I still feel terrible for us leaving Ovis and Serpens on Hrkar. They are going to be dead for sure and they died in such a horrible way. I can't say if you made the right or bad call but I still feel terrible thinking about them."

"Don't mistake me, I feel horrible thinking about what they are going through if any of them survived," Brigham bit his lip. He didn't have time to fully process his decision but the consequences kept eating at him. Was he responsible for the deaths of Ovis and Serpens? He couldn't wallow and he had to stay focused so he justified his choice. "Sometimes you can't save everyone. To take a page out of Hitomi's book, people are dying and suffering everywhere in the galaxy and on Earth. There are all sorts of tragedies every day, you can't help every person and solve every problem. You have to look at what's in front of you and how you can change the things in your control. Right now we need to ensure our own survival and the rescue of Ovis and Serpens had too great of a risk. If the planet had better conditions for landing, if we didn't have a supplies problem I would have gladly sent us to help them."

Emidio curled up into his bag, and while he understood Brigham's point, he still felt upset. He couldn't stop imagining himself on Hrkar, screaming for help and no one to hear him.

Brigham reached out to Emidio, "Listen at the end of the day, it was my decision. I take full responsibility for all the good and the bad, you followed my orders, understand."

This made Emidio feel only slightly better.

"I would like to bring the topic back to our parents," Curro said, "What's done is done, we can't dwell on it too much or we will go crazy over what ifs." Curro briefly paused and said, "While I never felt direct pressure, I always felt like I needed to live up to my father's name. I mean the academy is named after him! I am not trying to brag, I just felt if I didn't do something incredible with myself I would forever be in his shadow. I didn't want to be the son of an important guy. That's why I joined."

"Your father really seems really love you, Curro you're so lucky…" Emidio solemnly said looking into the roof. "I wish my dad cared for me the same way…"

"What's the deal with you and your pops, he looked real mean?" Ljubiša asked trying to lighten up Emidio and pretend as if everyone didn't notice the white hair boy's avoiding his father.

"We used to be real close when I was younger," Emidio could feel his eyes welling up with tears. "He used to show me all of the cool things he and his company do, he had imagined me as his successor and he always announced me to everyone with pride, 'Look this is my son he is the next CEO of the Solatium corporation'. In the beginning, when I was still a child I idolized him and his work and I wanted to be just like him. Exactly like you Curro.

"Things changed when my mom passed away when I was 11. He took it very badly, he wasn't the same. Honestly, I feel like he took it worse than me. A joy he felt for life was gone, he was often gloomy and listless, you could say he almost sleepwalked through life. He did manage to smile whenever we were together at his company or when he would get into deep conversations about his job. That didn't last long."

Emidio's eyes continued welling up and tears dropped down his cheeks. "Around the time I was between 12 and 13 years old, I started to realize I didn't want anything to do with his company. Not that there is anything wrong with his company, it just wasn't something I was interested in. I don't care about business or entrepreneurship I think it's so boring. I discovered I had a love for drawing and the arts, I loved playing video games and I found so much joy in reading novels. Not the boring business books he kept forcing me to read."

The white-haired boy tightly grasped his sleeping bag in rage, "He didn't want to hear none of that. He threw away all of my art, banned video games, and took away my novels. He said 'a real man does business or goes to the army'. I became very rebellious, I would often refuse to do my chores, I gave him the silent treatment, and I even broke some of his stuff when he wasn't home as revenge for him throwing out my drawings.

"He never tried to understand me and we fought almost nonstop. That's when his friend suggested he send me to Celio's military academy. 'The army would set you straight' he said, 'It will make you into a real man' and so here I am against my will. All of you are here because you want to. I hate Celio's military academy, I hate the military, and the only good thing this school ever did was let me live away from him, at least I can go to the arcade whenever I want to now. Not to be rude, but all of you signed up for this sh*t, I never once wished in this mess."

Hitomi stood up to look at Emidio, "Okay listen, I am entering the Hitomi nice era now, so bear with me, this is new for me. I have a question."

Emidio stood up to look at her and wiped away his tears, "Yes?"

"Did your father beat you? Did he ever hit you?"

Emidio confused by the question said, "No, never once when I was a kid, he actually slapped me for the first time today. I went to beg him to pull me out of this mission while you guys were waiting for me before lift-off."

"I ought to kick your ass myself for you saying such stupid crap!" Hitomi said then paused, "No wait, sorry." Hitomi took several deep breaths and counted to ten. "Okay I am in my nice era, and I want to say something meaningful without insulting you. Listen, I might be overstepping my bounds and I might be wrong, but this is my perspective. Never say your father doesn't love or care for you. The impression I got from the ceremony with the president was that he beats the hell out of you. Here is what I think based on everything you told us about your father. I think your father desperately longed for an heir to the business and he projected that dream onto you. How long was he married to your mother?"

"They were married for 23 years," Emidio said.

"Your father literally lost the love of his life, they were a couple longer than you were alive. I think he didn't know how to cope with the grief and with you rejecting his vision he must've felt like his life was falling apart. I am not justifying his actions just trying to give them context. I think he genuinely loves you and he wants the best for you, but I imagine it's not easy being a single parent stricken with grief and with an unruly teenager.

"I think he sent you here because he genuinely thinks it will make you better. Again just my two cents, I don't think you should just forgive him for everything, but never say that he doesn't care for you. He never hit you, at least not except that one slap. What he did was from a feeling of powerlessness, not from a feeling of hatred towards you." Hitomi raised her arms and shrugged. "Just my opinion."

"I never thought about it that way before," Emidio was taken aback by Hitomi's sincere words, it left him contemplating his feelings towards his father. He was overflowing with various emotions he didn't know how to handle.

A brief moment of silence was in the room, nobody said anything, the only sound being the snow, wind, and a slight buzzing sound the heating box made.

"Okay," Ana prepped herself, "Since most of you have opened up, I guess I will talk about my family.”