Chapter 41:

(Episode IX) (Act 4)

siVisPride


Aiko quickly perked her head up, stifling a wince. “I heard that. Should we be worried? I feel like we should be worried—”

“great juuuust when I got things together—Uh, nah, it’s just my sister~”

Everyone stayed quiet.

“So it’s less ‘be worried’ and more… ‘Be alert’…” Stark quickly jumped and landed on her feet, facing upwards towards the stairs now.

Jackie still couldn’t stop her shivering. The reason they can’t move as much is because of a Trend attack that wasn’t aimed at them, never mind being able to tack a direct hit. From the subtle shifting of the bed, she can feel the others sharing the same sentiments.

Didn’t help that the heat of the room was instantly sucked away. Stark was right, she was really an ice queen.

Blaire Somerset stood at the fourth last step. Covered in robes that were tattered due to a lack of self care.

Her skin was a deathly white, her auburn head of hair was the only thing she shared with her half sibling, her blue eyes pale. Vacant.

She didn’t even look over to the girls as she asked Stark, “Tending to roadkill again, huh?”

“They’re people, sis…” Stark retorted. She still had the patience; she was still measured… But there was clear annoyance in her voice. “We’re people too.”

“Hm,” Blaire uttered. She hasn’t moved since she came down. Not even taking a breath despite talking.

If she would’ve debated back that she—the Terri’s and all siVictims—weren’t… It would’ve been hard for Jackie to argue back.

“Now, lemme just—Y’know, get the dinner started, despite it being late, everything’s all taken care of!”

“Adam’s having a fit as we speak, Stark,” Blaire told her point blank. “You know that even the most unthreatening thing has the potential to be danger for him. I don’t think we’re doing it tonight. Anything, really.”

“W-we can calm him down!” Stark pleaded, desperate. “We can get through this, Blaire!”

“No matter how much ‘normalcy’ you’re trying to make into a habit, we’re just too far removed,” Blaire stated.

“…Can you at least look at me instead of through me when you’re chewing me out?” Stark sounded dark. “Blink too, for that matter?”

What followed shook Jackie to her core.

For the first time since she arrived, Blaire’s expression changed. So uncertain. As if it just happened out of nowhere, she struggled to maintain or even reach the three possible emotions she was going for.

Anger? Sadness? …Emptiness?

She blinked, but it was so full of effort. It wasn’t like she forgot how to, as Jackie would’ve considered, guessed.

Blaire’s face settled into despairing disgust. She made sure to bore her eyes into her sister.

“You know I fucking hate doing that.”

The Centipede’s Dilemma. So aware of movement that you once paid no mind to… and doing them now results in fumbling, an alien within your very body.

That was the feeling Jackie had earlier today.

She and the others were looking directly at their future. Hyperaware humans that’s seen way too much. So broken, they can’t be themselves anymore. Because every single thing reminds them of how intimately everything’s connected. Tissues to bones, organs flowing goo into each other. One’s success and every single flaw.

A future of breaking down into pieces or a future breaking away from feeling at all. Jackie could only hold her head in her trembling hands.

“We have to do things we don’t li—” Stark tried to get her point across.

Blaire combed her fingers through her long, wavy hair, “Look, fine. You wanna pull that logic on us? Then this is an off day. Off day for all of us. You offered us that and said it was some right, so I’m invoking it for all of our sakes. Because you wanna know what would’ve happened, baby sister?”

Stark said nothing.

“You would’ve pull this on, Adam would’ve gotten worse at the point of getting something to bash these girls away from the house, and we would’ve used our abilities and your guests would’ve seen firsthand how much of a monster each of us are. All this good will shit? Scattered away. They would only see you like everyone else does.”

Blaire’s throat tightened.

“…But you wanna know what would’ve happened if all of that didn’t? Went off without a hitch, like every other week? Us staring at each other. Just shoveling food product our bodies moved away from. Trying to talk as if we have any new experiences recently, or had an experience other than looking through glass from above as reality moves a nano second too long. All that does, Stark? All that does is remind us that we just can’t go back. Those years before we awoke are meaningless compared to the eternity that wipes things away anyways. Why can’t we take a page from that? What’s bad about it, exactly?”

Stark continued to say nothing. Jackie was more worried and unnerved by that alone.

“I don’t know you people and I don’t really care to learn,” Blaire said, again, without looking at them. “Monsters was just me overreacting—or that letting an emotion flare up, shit’s worse than heartburn, but regardless. We’re just pathetic things that were given too much. When we all eventually snap, be it me—you--… Anyone with siVis, really. Just look at the why versus what they did. How exactly they took the revelation of us being trapped in a no-win scenario. Never resent them. Just understand them, when no one else cares. And just hope you don’t hurt too many when you get there.”

She turned on her bare heels, and travelled upstairs, before muttering something she knew they would all hear.

“If you let go now, it won’t hurt later.”

She left the room, but the chill still lingered.

Stark made a sound, something between a snort and a laugh, “Well that was all sorts of depressing! Sorry about that, she got siVis as a teen, so… Y’know, been stuck in angst forever!”

“H-hey Stark, there’s no need to—” Tracy tried to console her.

“She’s usually blunt in a funny way, really! Like, she always has a quip because she uses siVis to be on top! It’s just an off day~”

“Real question, though,” Maddie said, almost solemn. “You sure this is an off day? This shit doesn’t happen a lot or are you hoping it can finally stop? Because I am… Worried about you, girl.”

Stark just put her hands on her hips and sighed. “I mean… It’s rough, dealing with family suffering from… Essentially mental trauma. She—they have their bad days and their good. So if you’re implying if they’re abusive, thanks for the concern but no.”

She let her arms drop to her sides. “But you guys heard enough talking. For real. Rest up and you’ll feel much better.”

“Yeah,” River said, being one of the first to get on that.

“Thanks, Stark Terri!” Aiko chimed.

The strange girl waved, and she too walked up the stairs.

Jackie was afraid to move. Out of fear that she’ll accelerate closer to that point. Artificialness that was once organic.

But she didn’t have much time to stew in it, as the lights to the basement went off.

***

Something woke Jackie admist the darkness.

The sound of crying.

Maybe it was siVis. Maybe it was the delirium of awaking, but she followed it just fine despite not being such.

She opened the front door of Stark’s house, seeing the strange girl crying on her porch, her tensing back due to the sniffling facing Jackie.

Stark got wind. Quickly wiping her eyes, even combing her hair back over her eyes seemingly, and turned to face her.

“…When you get crushed by all of this, huh?” Jackie sounded tired, not because of the sleep. “Then why? What keeps you going when it’s all against you? Even someone like you… You’re angry too…”

“…Of course I get angry. I’m very, very sad girl that gets… So, so frustrated living like this. I get frustrated being weird, frustrated that every single person around me—all of them, holding some pre-convieved notion about me before I even turned my attention to them… But it’s always about my process. It’s always about building something away from that—not out of it, definitely not from it. I always go against it and it’s always led me true.”

She then smiled her smile. “It’s basically constructive spite, at this point. Fine world. Be bitter. But you’re not making me bitter along with you. You left too many scars already…”

And with that, Jackie cried again. Sobbed.

Stark, with her abilities or some level of siVis control, brought the tall girl towards her, sitting her down next to her, hugging her close. Stark encouraged her to cry, because it was all a part of the process.

Before, it was the result of the world finally squeezing last of her humanity out Jackie—a confirmation of her descent into bitterness. Here? Pure relief that she can still feel hurt in the first place.

After a while, Jackie feel asleep in Stark’s hold.

Stark could only look up, seeing the night skies blur and disegrate into static.

“…We may not have a world left…” she said grimly.