Your Mass Distribution Is Quite Optimal

Nezumi guided Cleansuke deeper into the scrap yard. The sun caught on heaps of discarded tech - quantum processors still pulsing with faint light, holographic displays flickering their last images, and pieces of old mecha armor scattered like metallic confetti.

But something wasn't right. I zoomed the drone's camera, spotting figures perched atop various scrap mountains. They stood perfectly still, like predators waiting to strike.

Cleansuke halted suddenly. It must have detected them too.

"Anomalous heat signatures detected on elevated positions. Recommend immediate-"

"Shh!" Nezumi pressed a finger to her lips. "Just wait. Check the time."

"13:59:42. Query: Why are we-"

"Three... two... one..."

The ground vibrated as a massive hover-truck materialized at the yard's entrance, its cloaking field dissolving to reveal a container packed with fresh scrap. The anti-grav generators whined as they compensated for the heavy load.

The truck's cargo hold bore the distinctive logo of the Puri Puri government. These weren't just any scraps - they were damaged or discarded parts from government mechas.

"First drop of the week," Nezumi whispered, eyes gleaming. "All the best collectors know the schedule. That's how we get the good stuff before it hits the regular market."

The figures on the scrap heaps shifted. Each wore different augmented reality visors, probably running analysis software to spot valuable components.

"Optimal collection strategy requires-" Cleansuke began, but Nezumi grabbed its arm.

"No time for analysis! We need to move fast. Those parts won't collect themselves."

The truck's containment field powered down with a low hum, and I could practically feel the tension. Through the drone's sensors, I detected at least twelve other collectors readying themselves for the drop.

"This appears highly irregular and potentially hazardous."

"That's kind of the point," Nezumi grinned, bouncing on her toes. "Welcome to the real world of Dai-Bōku collecting."

The cargo hold tilted. A waterfall of metal and circuits cascaded onto the ground, sending up clouds of rust and dust. The collectors leaped from their perches like hungry wolves.

"There!" Nezumi pointed at something glinting in the pile. "That's a Mark VII quantum processor - the last part I need for our new mecha build!" She tugged at Cleansuke's sleeve. "Come on, help me grab it before someone else does!"

But Cleansuke had already sprinted in the opposite direction. "Detecting multiple cleaning apparatus components. Priority: Salvage industrial-grade sanitizing units."

"What? No!" Nezumi watched as Cleansuke dove into a heap of janitorial bot parts. "We need the neural interface! The cleaning stuff is worthless!"

"Incorrect. These sonic scrubbers maintain 98.7% efficiency rating."

"Look, the quantum processor is right there!" Nezumi pointed frantically. "We could upgrade our entire control system!"

"Negative. This automatic floor buffer requires proper categorization."

Nezumi's face twist in frustration. "Fine! I'll get it myself!"

She darted forward, snatching the quantum processor from the pile. The crystalline core pulsed with residual energy in her hands.

A shadow fell over her. A collector built like a mountain loomed above. "Mine now, little girl."

The force of his yank sent Nezumi stumbling backward toward a jagged pile of metal. Before she could fall, Cleansuke moved with impossible precision, catching her mid-fall. Their faces ended up inches apart, Nezumi's eyes wide as she stared up at Cleansuke.

"Your safety parameters have been compromised. Initiating protective protocols."

"Um, you can put me down now..." Nezumi's cheeks flushed pink.

But Cleansuke was already moving. It sprinted toward the burly collector, leaping over scattered parts with perfect form - just like during PE class. The collector laughed, until Cleansuke grabbed a discarded mop handle and spun it like a staff.

"Return confiscated item or face sanitation procedures."

The collector swung his fist. Cleansuke deflected it with the mop, then proceeded to... dust the man's shoulders?

"Your particulate levels exceed acceptable parameters."

"What the- Stop that!" The collector swatted at Cleansuke, who ducked and began polishing his boots.

"Detecting scuff marks. Implementing shine restoration."

The collector hopped around on one foot, trying to shake Cleansuke off. "Get away from me, you weird-!"

In his confusion, he dropped the processor. Cleansuke caught it with one hand while still buffing the man's knee with the other.

"Item retrieved. Resuming regular maintenance schedule." Cleansuke straightened up and walked back to Nezumi, who stood there with her mouth hanging open.

"What the hell was that?" She gestured wildly at the collector who was still examining his newly polished boots with bewilderment.

"Standard maintenance procedures." Cleansuke examined the quantum processor. "Item appears undamaged despite improper handling protocols."

More collectors began circling us like sharks that had caught the scent of fresh tech. Their augmented visors gleamed as they sized up the processor in Cleansuke's hands.

"Hand it over," a collector growled. "Or things get messy."

Cleansuke's posture shifted into what looked like a combat stance. But instead of fighting, it spun around, scooped up Nezumi bridal-style, and took off running.

"Wait- what are you- eep!" Nezumi's arms instinctively wrapped around Cleansuke's neck as they sprinted past mountains of scrap.

"Implementing emergency evacuation protocols," Cleansuke announced, vaulting over a pile of defunct servers while cradling Nezumi. "Please maintain secure grip to avoid falling damage."

"This is insane!" Nezumi laughed as they dodged angry collectors. Her earlier frustration seemed forgotten as she clung tighter to Cleansuke. "How are you even carrying me like this?"

"Proper lifting technique essential for waste disposal management." Cleansuke leaped across a gap between scrap heaps. "Also, your mass distribution is quite optimal."

"Did you just... comment on my weight?"

"Negative. Merely appreciating efficient load balancing."

Nezumi's delighted laughter echoed through the scrapyard as Cleansuke zigzagged between piles, still carrying her like a princess while clutching the processor. The pursuing collectors fell behind, cursing and stumbling over loose parts.

"This is amazing!" Nezumi squealed as they cleared another obstacle. "I've never had this much fun collecting before!"

"Fun detected. Noted for future reference."