Please be one giant prank

As my tears subsided a bit, I turned to notice Irina, Selena, and for some reason, Meredith, had gathered behind me.

"Why are you here?" I snarled at Meredith.

"Uh, cuz I'm relevant!?"

Desperation began to consume me. "Yes, this is all some big dumb prank! I bet my parents are hiding and going to jump out and scold me for everything!"

But everyone's somber faces told me I was simply clinging to delusion. This isn't what I wanted, but I guess it's what I got. I ran away and severed the ties between us. It's not like I didn't want to see them again or return home, I just didn't want to be forced out of doing the thing I loved. But that apology video they made broke me.

If they had still been as they were when I first left home, I could have hardened my heart and moved on. But they were trying to return things to how they were when we were all happy. What led to this, anyway? Was it simply my rebellious phase? My parents growing a tad bitter after my grandfather died as result of falling down? It didn't matter. They apologized, but now I couldn't. It wasn't fair. Why did Meredith go into stasis to apologize, but not them!?

"Hana, please listen to me. Your parents became clients of Jantar, yet refused to enter amberstasis. However, Jantar does provide preservation services for corpses. Being the naturalists they were, they felt that having their corpses preserved so at least you could see them as you remember was a worthwhile compromise," Selena stated as she waved her hand before the gravestones.

Two life-sized clear boxes then rose from the ground and inside were my parents. My mother looked just as old as she did in the video, but my father looked just the same as he did back in 2024.

"Now Hana, do you have any words for them?"

I sighed, my tear ducts still having tears to spare, as I knelt before the coffins and said, "I'm sorry."

As I turned, I noticed Selena warmly smiling while Meredith had a big grin on her face. What really threw me off was the fact that Irina looked genuinely bewildered as if she had no idea what was going on.

"Hana, could you face them and say that one more time?" Selena smiled.

Something was off.

My heart began thumping nervously as I apologized once more. Then, slowly but surely, both my parents opened their eyes... OPENED THEIR EYES!?

"ZOMBIES COMIN' BACK TO GET YA!" Meredith shouted as I screamed in terror and ran away.

...

I sighed as I watched Hana ran away. Meredith's last second "prank" so to say had deprived her and her parents of the heartfelt reunion they so requested.

"She ran away again," Mana sighed as she reached for her face."

"Don't remove the makeup yet! She still doesn't know you're not old!" Meredith cried.

As Meredith and Hana's parents began to squabble, I found myself in Irina's glare. Rather than explain verbally, I simply sent her the classified file on the matter. Surely that would clarify things, but little miss irrational struck once more, and I found myself being slugged in the stomach and buried up to my neck in the sands of Normandy once more. Worse, it seemed she had not yet had her fill as she was wielding a rubber purple bat in her hand, likely intending to smack my head with it.

I could normally put up with Irina's antics, but this time I felt a rare scowl manifesting on my face. This was all completely irrational! I simply did what Hana's parents and Meredith requested, so why did Irina feel the need to hit me and drag me back to Normandy to punish me like this!?

SMACK!

"And that's a test to make sure the rubber bat doesn't pop when it smacks your head. Hana will be back to give you a good smack herself," Irina glared as she warped away.

That actually hurt! I swear, I might force that girl into a martial arts competition just so I can beat her up!

...

As I ran through the woods, Irina suddenly appeared before me, lounging in the air. "Hey Hana, so I figured out what happened."

I was still too frantic to stop in chat, but seeing her floating in the air reminded me I could escape to the sky. YES! Those zombies can't catch me if I'm in the sky!

As I began running into the sky, Irina sighed and embraced me in a hug. "They were alive the whole time, Selena just didn't tell us jack shit."

"Huh?"

Irina then summarized the information she apparently got from Selena, freezing me in place.

"So basically, your parents went into amberstasis the same time as Meredith, and got revived a few days after her. Still baffles me how I was kept in the dark though or why. If I had known about all this, we could have taken the longer, super scenic route before getting here."

And there was her answer. She was what they call a "chaos factor". I'm really lucky I met someone like her, and that Meredith went above and beyond in apologizing to me for the Türkiye incident.

"Irina, thank you. Now let's head back. I need to apologize proper."

I said that with a smile, yet as we got closer and closer to my house, I began trembling, dreading the likely harsh scolding I was going to get. I mean, I did run away from home so it was warranted, but it didn't mean I'd fear it any less.

But as I came face to face with my parents once more, my body moved on it's own as I leapt into their arms and embraced in a tearful hug. Sure, there was some harsh scolding in there, but we all forgave each other and reconciled.

Once I had a free moment, I turned to face Meredith. "Thank you. You're 100% forgiven now."

Meredith responded with one of her mischievous grins, but the tears streaking down her face told me she was just trying to act tough.

"Alright, now wanna head back to Normandy? We got another trial to conduct," Irina smiled as she swung a rubber bat over her shoulders.

I shot her a confused look, but then realized Selena was nowhere to be seen. "You don't mean..."

"Yup, she's already buried up to her neck, and this sucker doesn't pop when it smacks her head, so give her a good smack for what she did!"

I paused, before bursting into laughter. "Irina, thanks for being such a good friend."

"Girlfriend, ya mean," she smirked.

"'GIRLFRIEND'!?" both my parents roared in confusion.

Ugh, seems like I'll be spending a bit more time with my folks before I can venture out again. But if I must, Irina's staying with me. Girlfriend... Well, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my days with an adorable gremlin like her.

...

Watching Hana reunite with her family, finally brought to closure that aching pain I've had in my chest for the past 500 years.  I don't regret tricking her into getting shaved bald, that shit was hilarious and blew up like crazy.

But when we became distant and I heard she entered stasis, I was devastated. Was it all my fault? Surely it wasn't. But then all that drama went down with Hana's parents. That part of the video was real. When I met with them, they really were stubborn to the point that they'd rather die in their time than chance seeing Hana again. And so, I said the best thing I've ever said in my life. "If you die like that, Hana will cry at your graves and try to reunite with you in Heaven. Do you really want that!?"

Still, they were a bit stubborn, but I had a hit. So I followed up with the best follow-up I ever said in my life. "You watch Hana's videos?"

When they said they said they did, I asked them, "Then why'd ya get so hostile towards her? Look at her face! When she's doing what she loves, she's smiling, but when she encounters a family or the topic of family life gets brought up, she becomes somber, only forcing a smile. Are you her parents!?"

That finally got them to yield. But as we were going into stasis, I made a bet with them. "We revive, we prank Hana epic style."

And the rest is history. Guess in the sense me tricking Hana was good as it led to her reconciling with her folks. And now, I can rest in peace... AS IF!

This era's a blast so I'm gonna live in it until existence itself ends! And all the while, I'll make sure to prank Hana and co. I ain't gonna settle for being the only resident baldie ya know!