The Girl from S.K.U.L.L., Part 2

As Elizabeth led me further and further away from the part of town I was familiar with, I noticed the basic, government-provided apartments and cheap general purpose stores slowly transition to nicer, recreation-paid living spaces and expensive specialty shops, and eventually to individual housing. I looked over at Elizabeth, still marching along with a determined look on her face; suddenly that expensive-looking cardigan and her inexperience with ordering made a lot more sense, if this was how she lived. It was an impressive reminder of what one could have in this world if they worked hard enough…

Most major class differences had been eliminated over a century ago, courtesy of the adoption of Necessism as the world’s primary economic system. In Necessism, people were provided with all that was necessary to live, free of charge. However, those who wished to have items that were not necessary, like fashionable clothes, junk food, or better housing, could work for it, and earn money to be deposited in their recreation account. This meant that by working hard enough, or doing important enough work, you could still be compensated for it and afford a different quality of living.

Still, I thought, I can’t imagine an evil organization dedicated to world domination earning enough money for this fairly. Most available jobs contributed to society in some way, either through providing a public service, such as food or entertainment, or through assisting the government, as a P.E.A.C.E. enforcement officer, as a scientist researching new technologies, or as an administrator helping to manage the organization. If S.K.U.L.L.’s goal is to end world peace, earning money by performing jobs that help maintain that peace would be counter-productive. The only way to earn money without doing so was through gifts or donations, or in some cases inheritance, but those cases were strictly supervised by P.E.A.C.E. to ensure that the money had originally been earned fairly. In order to have enough money to help fund an organization like this, someone would have to either work themselves to the bone, or have a job that was important enough to warrant being paid a large amount of money… Suddenly my theory about S.K.U.L.L. having connections inside P.E.A.C.E. didn’t seem so far-fetched…

I slowed my pace, lost in thought, until I felt the hem of my sleeve snap against my wrist. Startled, I looked up to see Elizabeth standing in front of me, holding her hand out impatiently. Looking down, I realized that in the process of slowing down, I had pulled my sleeve free from her grip.

“Well?” she snapped, motioning for me to give her my hand. Rolling my eyes, I held out my hand and allowed her to take my sleeve again before resuming the death march to her lair. As she did so, however, a thought occurred to me:

“Why aren’t my hands tied?”

Elizabeth stopped in her tracks and glared at me. “Are you questioning whether or not I can hold you?” she asked, twisting my arm slightly. “Need I remind you who was captured by whom when last we met?”

“N-No, not at all!” I insisted, waving my free hand in front of me and shaking my head. “It’s just…” I looked down at her fingers, curled only around the very edge of my sleeve. “If you wanted to make sure I didn’t escape, wouldn’t it have been easier to tie my hands together and pull me along that way?”

She paused, staring blankly, and for a moment I was worried she hadn’t thought of such an obvious idea, until her eyes narrowed and she scoffed disapprovingly. “Do you really think it wouldn’t be suspicious for me to be dragging around a man with his hands tied in front of him, especially in an area like this?” She gestured around at the various expensive-looking two- and three-story houses, surrounded by fences and painted in light, modern colors. It was a very high-class neighborhood, to be certain.

I grinned sheepishly. “Er… some people are into that?” I tried, sweat running down the side of my face.

“Honestly…” Elizabeth sighed. “Believe me, this is the most inconspicuous way to get you to my hou- er, our base, without anyone suspecting me of kidnapping. And I am more than capable of recapturing you should you attempt to flee.”

She has a point there, I admitted, recalling the impressive strength and speed she demonstrated during our first encounter. Even so… “Wouldn’t it at least be easier to make sure I didn’t escape in the first place if you kept a better grip on me?” To demonstrate, I tugged my sleeve out of her grasp and held it up for her to see.

She eyed me up and down, seeming to consider my request, then let out an annoyed huff. “F-Fine,” she forced out, puffing out her cheeks slightly. “But not because you suggested it!”

Cute, I thought, before quickly shaking my head. Pulling myself from my thoughts, I turned my attention back to the matter at hand, as Elizabeth reached for my arm. I winced, bracing myself for her to have a death-grip on my forearm, her nails digging into my-

-Hand? I blinked in confusion as she clasped my hand in hers, her grip gentle yet firm, like a parent leading their child. “…Eh?”

“Y-You’re the one who suggested I keep a better grip on you,” she puffed, her cheeks slightly red. “This way you won’t get away from me.” I nodded slowly; I had said that, yes, but I meant something like grabbing me by the wrist or something, not holding my ha-

Without another word, Elizabeth pulled and started leading me off again, hand in hand. After a while, I adjusted my grip, lacing my fingers between hers. Just like in my dream, I thought, feeling my heartbeat quicken as I thought about the fact that I was holding hands with a real-life villain. Two mortal enemies, locked in eternal combat…

We had only been walking for a few more minutes when Elizabeth suddenly came to a stop, causing me to nearly run into her. “Why are we stopping?” I asked, keeping my voice down in case anyone was listening in. “Are we the-”

“We’re here,” she replied, looking to her right. I followed her gaze, looking up at the house next to us. It was a flat, modern-looking home with a white fence around it. It was two stories tall, with large, square windows all around both floors, though the curtains closed behind each one made it look far from open and inviting. “Impressive, isn’t it?” Elizabeth grinned as she gazed at the building. “No one would ever suspect that there was an evil organization right inside those very walls. It’s perfectly-”

It's very-

“-Normal.”

-Normal, I thought, echoing her. It would have been foolish of me to expect an obvious evil lair with skulls and spikes and a moat of magma, but there was nothing here that even remotely suggested this was indeed the headquarters of a dedicated group of villains. It was impressive, if a bit disappointing.

Elizabeth turned to me, her triumphant grin looking more and more like a genuine smile. “Care to step inside?” she asked. I nodded, briefly wondering if I had a choice, before I was pulled through the gate and down the cobbled path into her lair…

Elizabeth turned, closing the door behind us as we stepped inside. She finally let go of my hand to lean against the wall, slipping off her shoes one as a time before walking up the step into the main house. I moved to follow her, but she held up a hand to stop me. “Please, take off your shoes before entering.” She gestured down at her own shoes, lined up neatly against the step. I paused, slipping my shoes off and mimicking her placement, sliding them against the step with my foot. She nodded approvingly, and motioned for me to follow her.

As I followed her up the step, Elizabeth raced ahead to stand in front of me, spreading out her arms and gesturing at the space around her. “Welcome to the lair of S.K.U.L.L., would-be hero!” she announced. When I finally caught up to her, my eyes widened; I had expected the entryway to look normal in case anyone came to the door, but the rest of the house was…

“Speechless again?” Elizabeth remarked. “I can’t say that I blame you. Come, allow me to show you the threat you now face!” Before I could protest, she grabbed my hand again, leading me further into the house.

“This is our canteen, where our agents eat nutritious meals to give them the energy to fight against the tyranny of peace!” Elizabeth announced. I looked around the room, noting the counters on either side with cabinets below, as well as an island in the middle and an oven and various kitchen appliances to the right. It looked like a regular open concept kitchen, though I tried not to pass judgement. Maybe S.K.U.L.L. is a more personal organization, where agents are encouraged to cook their own meals? Still, it was strange that no one else was here at this time of day…

“This is our armory, where we store all our uniforms and equipment!” Elizabeth threw open a large closet door behind her to reveal a rotating clothing rack. “Though those accursed P.E.A.C.E. officers confiscated my rifle…”

While she continued cursing the name of P.E.A.C.E., I stared at the contents of the closet, my brow furrowing in confusion. “…That’s a dress,” I said, pointing behind her at a nice yellow summer dress with frilled edges. Elizabeth looked where I was pointing and stiffened, quickly spinning the rack around to reveal a line of S.K.U.L.L. agent uniforms instead, their cloaks folded and hung neatly over them. However, looking at the lineup, I noticed that there didn’t seem to be a lot of uniforms for an entire evil organization…

“Why are there only-” I started, but before I could question her, she had already grabbed my arm and started dragging me to the next area of our tour.

“This is our training room, where I- we train to be able to resist the forces of P.E.A.C.E. physically as well as mentally!” Elizabeth stood in the center of a large room painted deep S.K.U.L.L. purple, with a wooden floor littered with rubber mats weighed down by various pieces of exercise equipment: A treadmill, a chest press, a bench press… There was even a wall-mounted television with a yoga mat in front of it. As I looked around the space, a thought came to mind, unbidden: Home gym…

Finally, I was led to what looked to be a living room. The television mounted on the wall was even larger than the one in the “training room”, with a media center below it full of old entertainment disks and what looked like an original Gamestation. A polished wooden coffee table sat in front of it, with a sofa in front of that, and chairs to the left and right.

“And this is our command center, where we receive our orders from our mysterious leader!” Elizabeth announced. She grabbed a remote off the table and turned the TV on, causing it to display a scrambled image of a black silhouette. In the background I could hear a muffled voice, which I struggled to make out. After a few seconds I noticed that the video was on loop, the image flickering in a predictable pattern while the audio repeated the same garbled sounds over and over again. As I stood there, taking it all in, my hands started trembling.

Elizabeth sighed, putting her hands on her hips with a look of pride. “Yes, any day now victory will be ours, and the world will belong to-”

“…fake…” I breathed.

“Hm?” Elizabeth turned to face me, still smiling with satisfaction. “Did you say something?”

I pointed at her accusingly. “You’re…”

“…a fake villain!”

NEXT: The Fake Villain!