Last Chance

Soon enough, Wilhelm became tired of lying around. He couldn’t say for sure how many hours it had been, but no more sun streamed through his window, and his room had fallen into unrelenting darkness.

He sprang off his bed, turned on a nearby lamp, and took a longer than normal look at his room. Graduation was in a week, so he felt something more than the usual disinterest. His room was little different from any other cadet’s, as each possessed the same core elements: a white mattress that’s a little too firm, grey walls more at home to a prisoner, and a small window to give an illusion of freedom. Wilhelm spent as little time here as possible, and on second glance, he felt an urge to spend even less. Guess I'll check out the mess hall.

Just as he began to walk to the door, he heard the doorbell ring and nearly jumped out of his skin. Who could it be, at this hour? Levin, maybe?

Wilhelm strode quickly to the door and looked through the peephole, finding an altogether different visitor behind it. She looked around the hall and ran her hands through her long, brown hair. Satisfied, she moved closer to the door, staring into the other side of the peephole. Her deep green eyes unnerved Wilhelm, and he stepped backwards without thinking.

The girl spoke softly. “Wil, I know you’re there. Can you open up, please?”

Wilhelm didn’t know what Mathilde wanted with him, but he decided to do as she asked. As the door swung open, Mathilde smiled and walked in, shutting the door behind her.

“I never said that you could come in, Mathilde,” Wilhelm said.

“No, but you haven’t told me to leave yet, either,” she replied. Wilhelm let out a short laugh, despite himself, and moved back to his bed, the only place in the room he could sit. Mathilde followed and sat down beside him, twiddling with her fingers. Her eyes stared at the walls, focused on something else entirely, until Wilhelm spoke.

“Well? Why are you here?”

Mathilde stopped and looked towards him. “To see how you were holding up, in part. It looks like I was right to check on you, too. You look terrible.”

“Oh, thanks. Way to rub in that you made Top Eight when I didn’t.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it. Anyway… Everyone could see how hard you were trying. No matter the result, you should have some pride in that effort.”

Wilhelm scoffed. “I do, and that’s why I’m pissed off. It should’ve been me, not Aurelia. You saw how I was kicking her ass, right? If you or someone else had been there, it was-”

“A free win?”

“Yeah.”

“Then maybe you should’ve waited for us, instead of charging ahead on your own. Instead, Storm had an easy, isolated target. If you had fought like that on a real battlefield, guess what? You would have died, just like that.”

Wilhelm couldn’t find the words that he wanted to say, so he remained silent. Eventually, Mathilde grew tired of the silence and continued.

“Look, I understand why you’re upset,” Mathilde said. “But I have some news that… Well, it probably will raise your spirits, even if it shouldn’t.”

Wilhelm raised an eyebrow. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What happened?”

“...Because of your position, ordinarily, you wouldn’t be eligible for the program that Headmaster Emilia’s been talking about. The one meant for the best of the best.”

“Right. Every exosuit pilot in the Federation wants in, but we’re the only ones with a shot.”

“Mm. But after you left the training grounds, there was an… accident. I know you’re not the most social of us, but do you remember the name ‘Camilla Jager?’”

Wilhelm thought to himself. Camilla? Vaguely, but… Who was that, again?

Mathilde looked at his face and sighed. “Blond hair, a little shorter than me, glasses?” With that description, Wilhelm's eyes furrowed as he made an effort to think. But no one came to mind. “God, no wonder no one else wanted to break the news. Do you actually care about us at all?”

“Hey, I remember some of the other top rankers! Rudolf, Storm, and you, obviously.”

“Ugh… Well, whatever. There was some sort of complication with her suit, it seems. Same standard issue one as the rest of us, but hers had a defect… Instead of the suit collapsing outwards to let you out, hers… it went…” Mathilde trailed off, unable to finish.

Wilhelm felt no such restraint. “It crushed her?”

“...Yes. I heard her scream on the comms, Wil. I mean… I know that any of us could die, once we’re out there, but going out like that… I…”

Wilhelm’s gaze turned to Mathilde again. Her hands trembled, and her olive skin had taken on a ghostly pallor. Unconsciously, he began to reach his hand out to hers, but he pulled back.

“Look, I… I didn’t know her well, obviously, but I’m sorry that happened, and sorry you had to see it. Still, it’s something that you’ll… Well, we’ll both have to get used to it, in this business. So, if you ever need to talk to anybody about it, I'll be here to listen. Always.”

Then, Wilhelm steeled himself, placing his hand over hers. Mathilde looked at him, eyes wide, but she didn’t move. After a moment, the shaking stopped, and Mathilde's face went back to its normal, easygoing countenance. She didn’t cry, huh? Tougher than I thought. Or maybe…

“Thanks, Wil. Really.” Mathilde finally pulled her hand from Wilhelm’s light grip. “I needed that. A friend, I mean.”

“Hey, no problem... Still, I’m not sure how this is meant to make me feel better.”

Mathilde looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Thought you would’ve caught onto it by now, Wil. For a Top Eight, they need eight people, you know? And based on your piloting in the practical exam, and Camilla being gone, that makes you the eighth, now.”

Huh? Wilhelm tried to fight it, but he could feel a nervous smile breaking onto his face. This wasn’t how he’d planned it, but still, he finally achieved the goal he’d set out to accomplish from the start of the year. All the training hadn’t been a waste. He could still-

Mathilde glared at him. “Yeah, this is what I was talking about. You’ve got a screw loose, Wil." 

“Come on, Mathilde. I’m not happy that she died, just… This is the chance I’ve been waiting for, all these years. A chance to really make an impact in taking back our land from the Soviets, instead of being just another man on the ground.”

“Years? Do you mean… Since the New Soviet Republic’s attack on Berlin? Is that why you’re here?”

Wilhelm tensed. “What, did you hear that from Levin? Can’t keep their mouth shut.”

“No, no. You mentioned that you came from there, at one point or another. And you never talk about your family, either. It doesn’t take much to connect the dots, Wil.”

“...Can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

Mathilde smiled. “No, you can’t. I wouldn’t bother trying.”

“Fine. Yeah, you’ve got it right. I was there when the NSR tried to… No, you couldn’t describe that as trying to take Berlin. Those bastards knew they couldn’t hold onto it. What they wanted… was to send a message to Germany and the Federation.”

Mathilde’s smile faded quickly. “That was… the first sighting of the Red Reaper, correct?”

“As far as I know. Of him, and of that massive gun he brings around with him. Each shot leveled a house, Mathilde. And no matter what, he kept firing, and firing, and-”

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand over his own. “You can stop, if you want,” Mathilde said.

“No, I’m… I’m fine, thanks.” He pulled away quickly, uncomfortable with the same gesture from earlier. “Anyway, Levin and I both lived near the Berlin Wall. That’s where the Red Reaper showed up. Neither of us were nearby when it happened, so we escaped the initial blasts.”

“And… when the EIF arrived, did they find any survivors?”

Wilhelm forced out a harsh laugh. “They couldn’t even find their bodies, Mathilde. That gun I talked about? Anything in its path just… vanished. Our homes? Our friends? Our families? When we went back, nothing was left. Nothing!”

Wilhelm felt his blood heating up, so he stopped talking and took a deep breath, in and out. Neither he nor Mathilde said anything, for what felt like many minutes. It had been a long time since Wilhelm had shared this story with anyone, and he worried that he’d told too much of it, somehow. It wasn’t any of Mathilde’s business, but I went and left it all out there. Damn it...

It was Mathilde who broke the silence. “I… I’m sorry for making you relive that day again, but thank you for trusting me. I won’t tell a soul, of course.”

“Yeah, I’d hope so,” Wilhelm said. Something about Mathilde’s gaze bugged him, but this time, it felt different. “Look, I don’t want anyone’s pity. Don’t treat me any differently, alright?”

“Always trying to act tough, huh? Fine, have it your way.” Mathilde stood up, then, and started walking towards the door. “Right, one more thing. The headmaster said you’ve got an appointment at the Science Wing in three days, 9 A.M. sharp. It's for the new program you've made it into, of course. Better show up, or this chance you’ve gained won’t mean a thing.”

“Right… Thanks, Mathilde.”

Mathilde looked back towards Wilhelm and smiled. “What are friends for, right? Anyway, I’d better go before curfew starts. Good luck, Wil, and… I hope we’re still together, going forward.”

With that, she left. Wilhelm fell back onto his bed, but he quickly found that he was too excited to fall asleep. His mind twisted itself into knots, considering all the possibilities that tomorrow could bring. Eventually, he jumped back up and walked over to the punching bag he’d purchased with the small stipend they had at the academy. It was well-worn, from many nights like this. Maybe this’ll be the last, Wilhelm mused. He put on his gloves and got to work.