Damsel-fu round 2

Round 2 of damsel-fu was on as I propelled myself back to my feet. My stomach ached like hell, maybe there was a broken rib in there. Probably not though. I only hacked up saliva and I don't feel any blood guzzling down my lip. Meaning, ADRENALIN RUSH INTO MY VEINS AND F*CK THIS BITCH UP!

With a satisfying SLAM! I kicked my bound feet into the back of Kyutee's head, sending her flying into the frozen dinner section, and for the win, she crashed into Bob, possibly even kissing him on the lips. Did she?

"GAH! M- M- MADAM KYUTEE!" Bob shouted as his face went red and he began squirming about madly.

Kyutee' face was also red, and she was touching her lips. Bullseye.

"Guilty of assault, as charged!" I shouted as I rebounded and landed another dropkick to the back of her head, further staining that white hair of hers with the dirt from my sneakers.

Hopefully she had a concussion or two, but despite my damsel-fu being powerful, it was still damsel-fu. I know enough about physics to know my kicks aren't hitting at full power, mainly because damsel-fu requires you to expend more energy just to move around. I can feel my muscles screaming, but there's pain-killers in my back pocket. And since my hands are restrained behind me, I can easily drag them out.

What? Think I can't flick a pain-killer out from a package from my back pocket with my hands bound? Guess again! That's one of damsel-fu's secret arts, pocket pinching pill packer!

With some finger finesse and a mighty flick of the pill up, I leap up like a dog catching a ball or frisbee and chomp that pain-killer like a breath mint. Sucks for you, alien bitch. I just got a full health restore, so now, I can get wilder!

A serious scowl formed on Kyutee's face as she turned round to face me. "Bob, iru al la ŝipo. Estu preta pafi la trabvaganton laŭ mia ordono [Bob, go to the ship. Be ready to fire the beamvader on my orders]."

What the hell did she just say!?

"Hupp!" Bob saluted as he ran for the outside, vanishing into the green beam which I presume is being emitted from some overhead flying saucer.

"The hell'd you tell him to do!?" I shouted as I dodged a thrust from Kyutee's laser knife.

"What? Never heard of a CIAL?"

"CIA!? Those assholes!? Ugh, guess maybe you're a government agent then... Wait who gives a shit!? And the government hides aliens so who's to say they can't hire one!?" I shouted.

But that aside, that bitch bringing her knife out is perfect. I just need to bait her.

With a mighty leap, I flew into the air, twirling around like a propeller blade as Kyutee stood and smirked, preparing for an easy hit. There was no way for me to dodge and I'd be sliced up by that nasty knife, so she thought!

Using my physical and intellectual mastery of physics, I managed to position myself, so the knife would thrust right into the ziptie binding my ankles, and the instant they were freed, I kicked my legs out, triggering some centripetal force, and sending my restrained wrists orbiting towards the blade. Once they were free, I landed out of my epic back flip, unrestrained.

The damsel-fu lesson is over, I'll just say $300.99 no tax for the full lesson fee.

"So now you're free, going to run away?" Kyutee sneered as she assumed a combative position.

"If you'd let me."

"Then I won't."

Smash!

Instinctively, I threw myself to the side, and was glad I did as the green beam from before blasted down from the roof, leaving destruction in it's wake. And from the hole in the ceiling, there was the flying saucer I suspected of existing.

"Uh, Madam Kyutee? This won't work. She knows it's coming now," Bob's voice rang out.

"So? Blast it down while we fight!"

"You might get hit though."

"Huh? You're saying you'd hit me!?"

"No, no, no! But uh... Ngh, ugh."

"Unreliable. Well just go stand guard at the entrance. I don't want her escaping."

Well thanks for that. Now I can escape out the back. But knowing that bitch, she might have thought of that. The supermarket has just a back exit and a front entrance, a 50/50 shot at escape, so she thinks.

At every grocery/large retail store, there's another exit; the loading docks. Even if she takes that into account, the odds shift to 1 in 3 for both of us, with me coming out on top. A 1 in 3 chance of running into the saucer, so 2 out 3 chance to escape it, with her odds being a 1 out of 3 chance of catching me and a 2 out of 3 chance of not. I like my odds! Now I just gotta get past her.

As if she could sense my intentions, Kyutee charged for me. I decided to face her and we locked hands, each trying to shove the other down.

"So how'd ya know the beam would come down?" Kyutee asked.

"I plead the 5th."

My act completely fooled her. I know CIAL stands for constructed international auxiliary language, which is exactly what Esperanto is. What? I was a nerd before my delinquent phase. In fact, my intellect's what made me such a terror in the first place. My fists may be queen, but my intellect is empress. And if you know anything about fairy chess pieces, you'll know the empress is stronger than a queen. Well, at least I consider it's rook x knight movements to be more powerful than that of the queen's rook x bishop moveset.

But as we continued to try and push each other down, a loud crash from above diverted my eyes. To my horror, all I could see was green. Green from the beam. I tried to leap away, but that bitch didn't let go. Is she trying to sacrifice herself!? No, she might be trying to lift me up and use me like an umbrella, saving her, but killing me. Like hell I'll let that happen!

I immediately lunged down, kicking Kyutee's feet out from under her, however, she used the momentum to slam me into the ground. She continued to lock hands and pined me down, all while the beam drew closer and closer. Just as I thought it was the end, the beam stopped so close, I'd wager it was within an inch of touching the back of that bitches head.

"Madam Kyutee, you're insane!" Bob growled as he hopped down from the platform.

"But it worked. You didn't hit me and now she's trapped. Now you prepare the torture chair?"

Silence.

"Bob, I can't see if you nodded your head!"

"Y- Yes ma'am! Torture chair all ready!"

"Good, now let's finesse this. I don't want to damage Miss Cherry."

I don't like the sound of that, but there's one flaw in their logic. We're both trapped, so how are they gonna get me out? The moment I get a chance, I can just run, and if Bob tries to pull a gun, I just use Kyutee as a meat shield. There's no way-

"UGH!?"

A sharp pain in my neck disrupted my thoughts, as I felt my senses numbing. I wasn't losing consciousness, but everything was going limp. Bastards had hit me with a sedative.

"And that's how we capture you," Kyutee sneered as the green beam elevator thing began slowly rising, allowing her to stand as my arms thudded to the ground.

Now I was at the complete mercy of this bitch, and I hated every second of it.