Shiori Yokoyama's alluring spirit.

Shiori Yokoyama

Miyake sprinted off with joy, laughing and shouting “Yaaay!” while swaying the clothes I picked for her left to right every step she so cordially took. When she was finally gone, we could still make out her effervescent laughs that echoed in the store.

I looked over to Okumori, and immediately spotted the wild expression across his face. I gulped with uneasiness.

Crap, crap, crap! Okay! You got it, Shiori! Just try to start a conversation! It’s not that hard!

“U-Um, O-O-Okumori-senpai…?"

Stop stuttering, dummy! Talk properly! Geez, I just look like a fool now! Why am I so nervous?! It’s just some guy, anyways! It’s not like he hates me! Wait, right? Right?!

He glared at me when he heard his name.

He definitely hates meeee! There’s no question about it! What is that glare?! It’s too horrifying! Miyake! Come back! Please! He scares me!

“H-Hi.” I quaked with a forced grin.

He closed his eyes and respired now. Seeing his disgruntled look made my heart feel a little rough.

“I’ll get an outfit now! You won’t have to talk to me! It’s fine! U-Um, goodbye!” I blurted out.

“Stay,” A grumpy, irritated voice erupted to halt me from dashing away.

I shuddered.

Did he just talk?! Was that his voice?! It’s so menacing! He’s definitely mad at me, isn’t he?! Oh no, what do I even do anymore?! Is he going to yell at me?!

Still quivering, I gradually compelled myself to turn to Okumori. When I finally faced him, I could see his violet-colored, narrowed, and weary eyes that looked down upon me.

“You don’t have to buy or get me anything.” He said in discomfiture as he pointed his gaze away.

“A-Are you sure…? I nervously asked.

He didn’t stop dodging my gawking stare when he nodded. He only readjusted his head even more to the left, now showing the back of his head to me. In response to this, I became warm because I perceived that I was probably the one making him so apprehensive.

What should I do?! Do I talk? What would I even say? Okumori is a silent person, so I don’t think he’d even respond! Think! Thiiink!

Dread would begin to overwhelm me, but fortunately was stopped by another of Okumori’s sighs.

“I have to talk now, don’t I...?” He quietly voiced out.

He most likely didn’t mean for me to hear what he said, but I heard it clearly. It made me feel more overwrought. I wondered if he didn’t want to spark a conversation with someone like me, but I don’t blame him.

He now had been looking at me, still with his uninterested, stiff look. His arms were now crossed together; his right finger tapping his opposite arm when he frowned.

“School? Grades?”

Confused, I squinted. What?

“How are you doing, I mean.” He coarsely simplified.

“Oh,” I understood, then made a hearty smile. “It’s good—”

“Liar.”

I was stunned by his sudden comment. I stopped smiling, and my timidity became inanity within seconds.

“Lying only makes it worse, idiot.” He said, annoyed. “I’ve seen what’s happening, and it’s definitely not ‘good’ as you make it out to be.”

“... Oh.”

He’d swallow, seemingly scared. He looked away again.

“Well, not that I was planning to help, anyways. I’m just saying- you’ll only regret it. And, for the record, I don’t like you, but seeing you in such a sad, glum state makes me feel rather…”

His mouth was open, but no words came out of it. He appeared to be reluctant, but he wiped it off his face and returned to his original, tired expression.

“Anywho, That monkey wants to help you, though, so tell her your problems and keep me out of it.”

He’d finally look at me, probably noticing my confused but intrigued look. He would then groan.

“... With that said, the monkey might not be able to help you, because she doesn’t want to burden herself. But who knows? We’re unpredictable. Maybe she’ll go out of her way to lend some empathy to some girl like you.”

“Okumori-senpai?”

He looked.

“Is the monkey perhaps… Miyake-senpai?”

He seemed discontent but nonetheless answered. “Yes.”

“Sorry… That was a dumb question of mine… U-Um, instead of that, rather, why did you choose to talk to me now? I mean, when we were with Miyake-senpai, you were super quiet.”

“You look weak, that’s why. I’m not afraid of you.” He boldly claimed.

It was like a slap to the face when he said it with assertiveness. It was blunt but concise. I couldn’t argue against it either, because he was right. What would I even say to defend myself? I’d be obnoxious to do that.

“I am weak, huh…?” I agreed.

He’d nod.

The grip on my handbag only got tighter after seeing his certain reply, “Yeah. I am weak. I’m so weak.”

“... Hey, what are you saying?” Okumori now looked muddled.

I closed my eyes and didn’t give up my artificial smile.

“Okumori-senpai, you know what I do, right?”

“What? Yes, of course I do.”

“Well, I hate it. I hate something I forced myself to love. Do you know how that feels? Do you know the dread that follows my passion?”

I swallowed.

“Dancing, modeling, money, all of that seems great. But when do I get a break? When can I sit down somewhere and just be content with what I have instead of constantly worrying about the future and being excessively obsessed with self-improvement that makes me feel deathly guilty because of how much I believe I underwork?”

And, finally, my constrained, sad attempt of a smile began to tremble. I’d take another breath to keep my composure, but it failed terribly, as I could hear and feel the shakiness in my breathing.

“What can I do to make people not feel envious towards me? I’m a pathetic, and joyless person, so why do people look up to that?”

I could feel my eyes start to prickle, and a lump forming in my throat. I’d blink desperately to get rid of whatever was leaving my eyes, but I didn’t know if it was working or not. My jaw trembled, my eyesight started to get blurry, and my breathing stopped in intervals. There was a small puddle of tears when I looked down with my fuzzy eyes.

“So yes, I am weak. Because if I can’t manage to bring myself to gratification, then I’m nothing short of unappealing.”

I took a deep breath and sniveled.

“So, so unappealing…”

It’d begin to strike me that I had broken down. The floor that had begun with a miniature pond of tears only became heavier and larger, piling up and beginning to touch my sneakers. I released the handbag from my grip and brought my hands to my face to cleanse my eyelids from the flowing water that left me. I couldn’t stop sniffling and quietly sobbing, and it worsened the more I grasped the meaning of my own words.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I frequently repeated to Okumori. “I’m sorry for being so weak...”

Instead of attempting to wipe my eyes, I’d eventually give up and just simply cover my face with my wet palms that were tainted with my tears, continuing to cry and weep under them.

“What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?!” I spat, “If I’m so weak, then just leave me alone already! I don’t need you to tell me something I’m already aware of! Just go! Do what everybody who’s normal does and just go away! I don’t need you!”

… Pomf.

“Stop crying already, idiot. It’s annoying.”

I stopped and pulled my hands down to see Okumori’s arm reaching over and rubbing my head in a slow, consoling, and reassuring manner. He had a dissatisfied look on his face while he continued to stroke me.

“I told you not to vent to me, yet here you are. Are you deaf?”

I looked away, “Sorry.”

“... You’re right, though. I’ll leave you alone. You don’t need me at all, because I’d only make it worse.”

I shot my gaze back to him, “Wait, Okumori-senpai, that’s not what I meant-”

“I don’t care about what you meant. I’m saying it’s better that way for both of us. Go on and save the rest of your rants to the monkey. I’m not someone you should trust, nor even associate with.”

I didn’t bother to argue with him.

“Sorry,” I apologized again. I wiped the tears from my face and forced a laugh now, “I guess crying wasn’t the best option, huh, Okumori-senpai?” I sarcastically asked.

He’d remove his hand and retract his arm away almost instantly, setting it to his side while he nodded firmly to my question.

Then, I felt a hug that wrapped around me. I looked down to my chest in bafflement and saw blue sleeves, and delicate, soft hands.

“Awwww… Crying while I’m gone, I feel left out!”

I looked above me and saw Miyake wearing the outfit I had picked out for her.

“You’re fine, Shiori-chan… Completely, completely fine.” She said with a smooth, elegant voice.

Then, she looked over at Okumori with a sullen pout. “Also, I didn’t know you liked to call me monkey! That’s so rude of you! What part of me even resembles a monkey to you?!”

Okumori crassly glared. Even if he was quiet, I felt like what he had been saying in his head wasn’t a very good thing to hear. Miyake fired off an antagonistic finger point when she saw his coarseness.

“I’ll let you off the hook this time! You consoled Shiori-chan while I was gone, so I’ll give you that!”

Okumori only rolled his eyes, and Miyake dropped her chin on the top of my head tiredly.

“He’s so troublesome sometimes… It’s like talking to a wall…”

I could feel her chin press onto my head as she spoke, and it made me somewhat uncomfortable, but yet relieved.

“Y-Yes…” I awkwardly agreed.

She then sparked, “Oh, also!”

Miyake would then let go of me and step back. I’d face her, and watch her twirl around in the new clothes she wore with delight. She’d then stop and place her hands on her hips, giving me a charming grin.

“The clothes you picked out fit perfectly! They’re so cute, too, don’t cha’ think?”

I paused, shocked by her sudden spark of enthusiasm. Then, I nodded happily.

“Yes! It looks beautiful, Miyake-senpai!”

“Right?!” She twittered, “Don’t worry, Shiori-chan, I’ll pay for it! It’ll be my gratitude!” She said with a thumbs-up.

“Um, okay!”

She giggled after hearing my response until she launched herself over to Okumori. She would circle him with a suspicious smile while leaning her head right to left.

“Ya’ like it…? It’s cute, huh? Don’t be embarrassed about it, Ki-kun! Say it’s cute! You think so too, don’t you? Don’t yoouuu? Spit it out! Come on! I want to hear you say it!” Saaaayy iiit!” She optimistically taunted, poking all around his body.

“Will you… Shut up…?” He sheepishly rejected her.

“Oh, fiiiineee!” She groaned, “You’re so boring, Ki-kun. B-o-r-i-n-g!”

Are these two really not close with each other?

“Well, anyways! I’m going to have to take this off in order to pay for it!”

She’d then come close to Okumori’s ear, cupping her hands around her mouth and speaking in a classy, luring voice.

“Oh, but, it’d be very lewd for me to take it all off right now, huh?” She teased.

Okumori reddened and moved back to try to avoid her close distance.

“Hahaha! Kidding! I’m just kidding, Ki-kun! Your reactions are so priceless!” She laughed while slapping his back.

He choked and grunted each time Miyake’s hand hit his back, with a clear, exasperated look on his face, indicating that he was obviously not enjoying it. Miyake would soon back off and start running away from us.

“See you later, guys! Don’t do anything while I’m gone! No crying, you hear me? I’ll be back in thirty-seecooonds!” She waved.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

I’m so envious of her… She’s so lovely and appealing, while I’m over here crying. I’m such a loser, really…