A Bad Lunch

The memories from last week still exist in his knee where he saw a Proboscis monkey performing dialectic. But What's done is done. Time to open the rice cooker, wash a bowl of rice several times, put it in the rice cooker, cook the rice, and boil some kenikir. But he's out of ingredients… Here's what to do: step 1, order the stuff you want to buy; step 2, wait for a delivery drone and open your window; step 3, accept the delivery drone and allow it to enter your home to confirm your order. The drone will leave after that with free shipping. Remember to pay!

A bowl of rice and kenikir leaves for breakfast. Kenikir leaves might be bitter, but his tongue has evolved to compensate for his caprine diet, which includes leafy greens. Spinach, cabbage, lettuce, bok choy, kenikir, papaya leaf, cassava leaf, Lemon basil, kelor, and many more. But to keep human evolution on track and salute his gut microbiome, he still eats beef, lamb, poultry, fish, shrimp, cheese, and yoghurt. When it comes to offal, his tongue will reject it firsthand, no matter how clean or tasty it is. In the case of milk, everyone agrees except the intestines. They let lactose roam free, which leads to stabbing nausea, roars of revolt, and squatting on a toilet seat for better output performance.

It's time to heal patients—8 for today. Some seek extra consultation, while others prefer to work and sigh relief when their discomfort is gone.

"Good morning, sir. I'm Iwan, and your new healer is starting today. How do you feel now?"

"The pain in my forearm decreased, thank you. May I ask you something?"

"Please, go ahead, sir."

"My doctor told me that my fractured radius will be healed in 8 months. Do you think healing can speed up the process?"

"I can't guarantee it. Healing is complementary, not primary. It may be faster if you also do your part, like consuming your medicines, eating properly, and having enough rest."

"I see, I can't wait to get healed because I haven't been able to swallow my medicines with water. I ended up using a banana, and it embarrassed me. My friends make fun of me."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's normal. I still use bananas until I'm 18 years old."

"Hehehe, alright then. Thank you for your time. I have to debug an app."

"Thank you, sir, get well soon!"

The clock shows 11 AM, and the early monsoon has arrived. Ungkrung jati is in season, so Iwan embarks on a journey to Gunungkidul to search for them and turn them into a spicy lunch. After 2 hours of scrambling dirt around, he hit a jackpot of a hundred grams of tiny fellas. Back home, a spicy stir fry ungkrung and a bowl of rice are ready. 7 pieces of Bird's eye chili only made the dish a bit spicy, thanks to its slippery surface. His mouth feels tangy and crunchy now, and his high expectation of the taste falls flat. What's worse is the aftertaste, 30 minutes after lunch. He feels nauseous, and some patients ask him at this dire time, which makes his brain work harder.

"Oh, here's a message from Fajrul: 'Hello, I want to ask you something. Can you heal a plant? My pandan is dying'. Let's see. Hello, I'm sorry, that's beyond my expertise. If you don't mind, I'll give you the contact of my friend who specializes in plants… Sent the message!"

"another message from Lucas, 'Hi Iwan, I have a migraine. Can you heal it ASAP? Thanks.' Ouch, my nausea still stings. Oh well, just suck it all up. Hi Lucas, I'll heal you real quick now. Hang in there."

He heals Lucas while holding back the nausea; sometimes, his fart smells pretty bad that he can't stand his own fart. In a dire situation like this, a green flame is used to destroy the patient's dirty energy. Put it on your right and aim correctly before disposing of the energy. Occasionally, his rectum relaxes to drop stools. When he thinks it's over and gets ready to clean his anus, another stool is preparing for a dive. This event continues for 40 minutes. After that ordeal is over, he receives another call from his friend, a fellow member of the organization.

"Hey, how's life?"

"Not so good. Judging from your voice, yours is not as well, huh?"

"Yeah, I have a nausea. I've healed it, but sometimes there's a sensation of nausea that pops up for a few seconds."

"That's nothing compared to me, I think I have a stroke."

"Why did you even call me in the first place?! Go call an ambulance!"

"Wait! Wait! Wait! It feels off, though. I just feel the symptoms today."

"Tingling and limpness on half of your body is normal. There's nothing off."

"It still feels off."

"What did you do yesterday?"

"I went to Boyolali to visit my relatives. At night, they took me to a milk seller. The fresh cow milk was refreshing, so I ordered another five glasses."

"Ah, you're having an energy contamination from the milk. No wonder you're having a 'stroke' right now. With some healing, you'll be fine."

"How come? It's just milk, you know."

"You're at a high level as a healer, way higher than me. You meditate and heal others every day, and any negative energy in your body is cleansed through such actions. The higher your level is, you need to lower your consumption of Animal food products and their derivatives. You're still at home, right?"

"Nah, my girlfriend took me to the ER room, and now I'm hospitalized."

"Just explain to the doctors; they'll understand."

"There's just one problem. I'm at Karangdowo Hospital."

"Well, that one hospital is quite unique. Good luck explaining this to your doctors. I think it's fine if you don't want to tell them and let your health insurance be useful. Alright then, it's time for me to go. Nature calls again. See you!"

"Wait! Help me out a bit. Great, he hangs up."

While waiting for his excrement to flow down, boredom got him good. He read the packaging of soap, shampoo, and facewash to handle this. After relieving himself, his body excretes distilled water because he hasn't taken a shower or bath today. Mount Merapi was blessed by torrential downpours that flooded the rivers to their absolute brim. A great moment to swim and take a bath in the river. The crystal clear water flowed with vigour, the sun reflected vividly on its surface, while Iwan stood in a tree branch, ready to dive in. Lerak as soap and merang as a shampoo plus toothpaste. It's a fun swim and bath, but it only lasts 15 minutes cause sunset has arrived.

Back home, he cooks kelor soup with rice and fried tofu. Another case shows up on TV: a tofu home industry dumps 15 barrels of tofu wastewater into the Gajahwong River downstream.

"Opak river is cooked now… Oh, Eid al-Fitr is close; time to visit my parents and get butchered by neighbours."

Notes:

Kenikir: Flowering plants in the sunflower family (Cosmos is a genus with the same common name as cosmos).

Ungkrung: Pupa form of Hyblaea puera.

Lerak: Soapberry (Sapindus rarak)

Merang: The ash of dried rice plant (Oryza sativa) branch free from its leaves and husk.