Good night in the domed cities

Brigham sat alone in his apartment, he didn't feel like leaving and had spent his entire weekend inside. Not even wanting to leave for food he ordered deliveries. Looking outside, it was already nightfall. The only thing on his mind was the papers he kept rereading at nausea on his desk. A report by the Military Inspection Office, they had investigated Brigham's conduct as Captain during this ordeal.

The report was not negative, the opposite in fact. It was a glowing review, offering nothing but praise of Brigham's leadership skills and decision-making. The report contained a full endorsement and recommendation for Brigham to be given the position of high-ranking officer when he graduates at the end of the year. That would make him the youngest officer in the history of Nova Occasio.

A report like this was Brigham's goal in life, he had strived for something like it the moment he signed up. So why then did it feel so hollow? Why did he feel so unhappy?

Curro was gone, his heart ached for his now-dead friend. Somehow, he was praying that the report would criticize him for his decision on the trial, he wanted to be told his decision was wrong. He wanted his friend to be with him on his life's journey.

Everyone around him kept telling him that his decision was the right thing to do but he couldn't make the pain go away and a sense of guilt kept eating at him like a parasite. Curro is dead because of Brigham's decision, no one else's.

Brigham had forgiven Curro for the bombing, but his sense of justice had pushed him into punishing his friend.

Would Curro ever forgive him? It was a stupid question, Brigham was never very religious and he knew Curro had no ability to forgive. He is dead and gone forever.

While Brigham's sense of right and wrong understood Curro had forfeited his right to life the moment he planted the bomb, he still had a selfish desire to have given amnesty. The two would never share a day, a laugh, or a sentence ever again and that was Brigham's decision.

How was that the right choice? If it was the right choice, how can I be asked to make them in the future if I have such a strong inclination to doubt that conclusion? However, I saw Mok's wife at the funeral, what would she have done to me if she knew that I wanted to spare her soulmate's killer. I am so screwed in the head, so sick to want to remain a mass murderer's best friend. Nobody else made me feel the way he did.

For the rest of Lupus, it was much easier to move on from all of the tragedy they endured. For Brigham, the weight of his decisions was crushing him like a boulder.

Curro wasn't the only thing on his mind, on his desk was another report that was published by the press. Brigham was horrified to read Stevenson's report on Hrkar. The pain and suffering Ovis and Serpens endured were because of him, it was his call that got them killed.

Brigham's evaluation wrote praise over his decision on this matter. The Captian properly accessed the risks and instead of all of them dying, prioritized his crew and brought all of them safely home (minus the culprit). There was nothing Lupus could have done to prevent the deaths and suffering of Ovis and Serpens, except potentially kill themselves along with them.

Still, this wasn't enough for Brigham, he felt the blood of Hrkar on his hands, if he sent his ship maybe they could have done some magic trick like they managed to do against the Kortonians on NB011 and on the Young Aryans.

The blue-haired boy endlessly agonized over every minute detail of that report. He saw nothing but praise for himself on that paper but felt only seeds of doubt and guilt eating away.

Brigham questioned his career choice and his desire to ever enlist in this academy. Was he fit for leadership and would he ever want this kind of responsibility again, would he have the mental capacity to comprehend bigger decisions that would impact more than just the 9 lives he was responsible for and the Hrkar kids he failed to save.

In the moment it was easy to cross Ovis and Serpens out of the equation but now that he had Stevenson's report he couldn't stop having nightmares about that desert. He could see Ovis and Serpens clawing at him from the dunes, wanting revenge.

While he could keep agonizing for eternity, right now it was Sunday night, and tomorrow he had to go to school. He will have plenty of time to think if the army really was a place for him. If he decides it wasn't where would he go? What would he do?

He had to try and drill into his head the report's positive evaluation and trick himself into thinking that he was a born leader like he thought before this trip started.

Brigham went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for sleep, it was getting pretty late at this point.

He took a deep look into his mirror and realized he was a boy no more.

The reflection staring back at him was a shattered innocence.