Api Biru Pt. 4

 (Bane)

My nose was broken. With every breath, it would stop for a few seconds before resuming again. It hurts just to inhale. So much blood was leaking out of my body that it started to look like it’d reach my eye soon.

So this is the end, huh? The real ending. Did I expect any more to come from this? If so, that was my fault. The rest of this, however, all of this was not my fault. It’s like Rocco said, this world was catered to me by design, even my desires. Nothing has truly ever been mine. We all live life just to die on someone else’s accord.

If I knew my father was such a piece of shit beforehand, maybe I’d have stood a chance… No, I did know that. Lars told me long before any of this happened what the truth of it all was. I chose not to believe it. I wanted to believe in my father. I wanted to believe in the goodness of others. In a world as unfair as this, I should’ve known that I was asking for too much…

My head started to spin and my consciousness entered a trance-like state. Was I dying? Is this what it felt like?

Masir, I’m sorry you had to die. In hindsight, my father probably coerced you into coming with some mental trickery. That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been following me this whole time though, haven’t you? Ever since I started running back towards this elevator, I could feel your soul resting on my back. If it were up to me, I’d find your family and apologize to them personally for my incompetence and my father’s belittlement of your life.

Rocco, you’re probably still sleeping through all of this, aren’t you? You son of a bitch, you were here with me from the beginning, and now you’re snoozing through the finale? Haha… oh man, a man like you could have taught me a lot. You did teach me a lot. I wish I had taken the time to indulge in you more instead of judging. Hopefully, you get your arm back somehow. Make sure you treat Clarine right as well. I know you have no interest in her like that, but you still owe it to her… I’ll miss you, sir…

What about my mother? If I’m going to die and settle all my scores now, it’s worth acknowledging her. In that respect, I’m sorry, Mom. To say I remembered all the good times we had together would be a lie. In all honesty, I could hardly remember what you looked like. It made it that much easier for me to hate you… But you were a good person. At least it seemed like you were. Dad told me about all the great things you did together. Even some of the things we did together. It always seemed like you loved us both more than anything, which is why I couldn’t comprehend your decision to leave us… I’m glad you didn’t leave us. Is it wrong to be happy to know that you’re dead, instead? Part of me wishes I got to know you more. Imagine us both out on the surface, lit ablaze, talking about all the wonderful things we could do the next day. I wasn’t sure how to picture you. My father never showed me any pictures you may have had together. Maybe that was too hard for him. What a selfish bastard. In the corners of my memory, I could recall hearing something that I remember struck me as beautiful. It was only for a moment as a baby, but I heard Dad call you, Sarah. What a lovely name…

Was there nothing else to think about? My heart thumped and the pounding soon echoed throughout my entire body. This is death, huh? Everything felt like it was melting away.

With the last bit of strength in my body, I turned over and a rush overwhelmed me. Maybe it was the wind or my survival instinct, but for a second, I felt adrenaline again.

Those damn roller coasters. It’s time I put you to rest. The truth of it is something I’ve missed the entire time. They weren’t something I had a genuine interest in building. It was an impractical idea I latched onto because there was nothing else to keep me going… But that’s not so bad, is it?

Everyone needs something to keep them going. Whether it’s a damn roller coaster, perverse urges, a day off, family, and even saving the world. Everyone, all of us had our reasons to keep going. It must have not always been this way for them. I’m sure at some point they were fighting for different things in life. Finding that purpose and reshaping it is the essence of existence. Thank you, roller coasters for taking me this far. I hold no ill will towards you… But now, it’s time for a new purpose.

Now, as my father walks over to me with Lars’ gun in his hand, I can’t help but stop thinking about how much I want to live. I don’t even know what I’ll do if I somehow get past this. Would my rage take over? It was too much to think about. All I know is that my purpose is to be alive. Nothing more, nothing less.

My father pointed the gun towards my head, but it’s okay because no matter what happens… I will live!

At first, I thought it was a gunshot. I didn’t remember the bullets leaving any trace of blue but in the face of death, not everything had to make sense. My body began to convulse and my vision became clouded by this blue light. My heartbeat grew in pace and everything violently shook around me.

I could hear everyone panicking. What was happening? My limbs and organs felt like they were pulsing. My vision began to clear up and my blood was evaporating. Blood no longer streamed out of my face. Everything was contained. My body felt stronger than ever.

With a sense of boundless strength in my body, I picked myself up off the ground and stood tall. When taking a look at my hands, it became clear. I was on fire.

Even without the Sun, my body went up in flames, and not just any flames, these flames were blue.

My father looked terrified. He dropped the gun and stared at me along with the rest of them. Clarine took a few steps towards me and Fence’s mouth was left agape.

I spoke to my father. “And will you still keep your promise?”

He screamed in rage as he picked the gun back up and pointed it towards me. I charged into his barrage of bullets and although every single one pierced me, my adrenaline drove me towards him. He dodged and continued to shout.

“Clarine, Fence, get over here now and help me kill this beast!”

The pair seemed frozen at first. Would they really try to kill me? Clarine might since she’s a Scavenger Lord, and Fence is her disciple so he’d surely follow. They may have been charging their guns. Withstanding a few bullets right now was no issue but if they shot at me from every angle, even in this state, my defeat would be assured. Please, don’t let yourself be deceived into believing in my father again!

I spoke to Clarine. “Please, Clarine, you know that everyone deserves the truth! We have to stop my father.”

She ran over to her gun on the side of the elevator and picked it up. Her grunts suggested a sort of conflict in her mind. I had to trust that she’d choose the right side.

While still doing my best to dodge my father’s shots, Clarine approached him and pointed her gun at his head.

Her face was strained. “You’re a terrible person, you know that? Everything we’ve gone through and continue to go through is because of you, Edwin…” She dropped her gun and pointed it towards me. “But if you undo everything, things will only get worse and there’s no telling if we can come back from an event like that. Things need to stay the way they are, Bane. Please understand that I don’t hate you…”

Are you kidding me?! As much as I hated to admit it, Fence was my last hope.

Looking over at Lars, he’s laid back on his bunk watching all this happen. He’s going to be no help…

“Fence, come on, you know I’m right! They both betrayed us and all of humanity. They can’t get away with this!” I urged him.

He stood up and picked up his gun. “This whole time, I’ve been fighting for my family and a future where we could all live on the surface. Lord Clarine… You knew this whole time that wouldn’t be possible? I don’t think I could ever forgive you for that… But, you’re still part of my family. After we deal with this kid, you have to explain everything to me!”

Goddammit! What an idiot. It seems that I’m really on my own...