Halloween Artiljerija

As the men's team began to head out, they noticed the women's team hanging out in the spectator area. Other teams were there as well, leading Okisato to the conclusion that everyone was stuck waiting for the busses, or more accurately until the weather subsided enough for them to come and pick everyone up.

Since soundproof glass separated the playing area from the spectator area, everyone could talk freely there.

"Tanabe-kun. I saw you won, but that man you faced... He let out something that truly scared me," Mimoko frowned.

"You were scared by his little temper tantrum?"

"The entire place went silent when that nasty underworldly aura was released," Daria frowned as she fanned herself with her fan.

"But we crushed him and his team 4-0. And just in case he tries to retaliate and some point in the future, I heard his real name was Roman von Ungern-Sternberg. Apparently he was from the 1900s but got frozen instead of executed, resulting in him being revived. Then I guess he got his necromancy powers from winning a DESPER match."

"Where'd you hear it from?"

"Redfield. I guess as a courtesy for having to deal with Jad's temper tantrum, he proclaimed Jad's real name aloud. And after a quick Slickipedia search, turns out he really was and still is a crazy bastard."

"Seems there's a lot of "crazy bastards" in chess so to say."

"Are you referring to me?"

Before Daria could elaborate further, a chess piece flew into the sound-proof glass, embedding itself in it.

"ARTILJERIJA!" a voice shouted.

"I was going to say no, while you are a bit edgy, there truly are folks here that make even you at your craziest look normal and ironically enough, deadpan," Daria sighed as she set her sights back towards the game from whence the ballistic chess piece had come from.

The game was a part of the match between Denmark and Bosnia and Herzegovina's men's teams. This game in particular taking place on board 1 with Denmark's Retskcirb Eht playing as Black and Bosnia and Herzegovina's Miralem Artiljerija playing as White.

With a deranged grin and bloodshot eyes coupled with his military attire and unruly beard and mustache, he certainly seemed as though he was bit crazy, and he was.

Things had started off peacefully in the game with e4, e5, knight f3, knight c6, knight c3, knight f6, a typical Four Knights Game. But in a Four Knights Game with an aggressive/crazy player playing as White, the next move was always knight captures e5, the Halloween gambit.

Retskcirb naturally captured the offending knight at e5 with his knight, and with a demented smile, Miralem pushed his pawn to d4. Retskcirb knew how to deal with this, and moved his knight to c6, but Miralem also knew what to do and moved his pawn to d5.

"Somebody's aggressive, but it will come at a cost," Retskcirb thought as he moved his knight to e5.

"Hah! He thinks my aggression's gonna get me fucked? Bastard doesn't know the first thing about the Balkans. WE'RE AGGRESSIVE 24/7!" he thought as he slammed his pawn down on f4.

Retskcirb stared at the board before smirking and moving his e-knight to g4. "Another great escape. Can't catch me now, ya crazy Bosnian," he thought.

"Idiot! He doesn't realize aggression can be subtle AND defensive!" Miralem thought as he moved his pawn to h3.

But it was now Retskcirb's turn to crank up the aggression as he moved his bishop to b4.

"Oi, oi, you tryin' to pin me down with a bitch slap like that? My pops was pelting me with tank shells on and off the chessboard in order to raise me into the beast I am now. You wanna try and irritate my skin? Bring an ICBM!" Miralem thought as he captured he knight at g4 with his h-pawn.

Retskcrib had a plan though, and captured the pawn at e4 with his knight, but Miralem saw nothing but flailing and moved his queen to f3. Retskcirb responded by moving his queen to e7, prompting Miralem to move his king to d1, setting up a nasty attack.

But Retskicirb struck first and captured the knight at c3 with his bishop. "Go ahead, take it. It'll make my day," he thought.

But Miralem didn't take it, instead moving his bishop to d3.

"Well, suit yourself," Retskcirb thought as he moved his knight to d2.

It was at hat moment Miralem lit up with excitement and captured said knight with his bishop. But Retskcirb appeared to light up even more as he captured the pawn at b2 with his bishop.

"BOOM! You just stepped on a powder keg of a landmine!" Miralem thought as he slammed his rook down on b1.

Retskcirb simply moved his bishop to f6, thinking he had escaped, until Miralem maliciously slammed his rook down on e1, locking and loading the artillery. "Oh fu- Ugh... GAH!" Retskcirb agonized in his mind as he moved his king to d8.

Miralem began trembling with excitement as he rose out of his seat, appearing as though he was going to walk around for a bit, but then he grabbed the rook at e1 and began singing. "Sarajevo, Rogatica, Višegrad, Vlasenica Tu mi leži pokraj srca Zvornik, Tuzla, Kalesija, Devetak i Kiseljak Svaki borac veseljak [Sarajevo, Rogatica, Visegrad, Vlasenica, they lie close to my heart. Zvornik, Tuzla, Kalesija, Devetak and Kiseljak, every fighter is a jolly fellow]."

As Retskcirb stared in confusion, Miralem suddenly leaped up into the air, pulling back his hand that held the rook as if ready to throw a punch, and pack a punch he did.

"ARTILJERIJA!" he shouted as he slammed his rook into the queen at e7 with such force, the queen went flying off like an artillery shell, embedding itself in the nearby soundproof glass separating the playing area from the spectator area.

Stemming from his father, Tvrtko Artiljerija, Miralem had a habit of leaping into the air and shouting "ARTILJERIJA!" before throwing a mighty punch, something his father and younger sister, Jasmina also did.

As for the poor queen he sent flying, it had successfully drawn Okisato's attention to the game. "And that is?"

"Miralem Artiljerija, a 2548-rated grandmaster as well as one of Bosnia and Herzegovina's co-rulers," Daria stated.

"Ah right, Bosnia's got co-rulers, all Desperados if I'm not mistaken."

"And not just them. All the neighboring Balkan nations are headed by Desperados."

"Serbia, Croatia, and that mysterious New Republic of Paeonia, if I'm not mistaken."

"You sure know your Desperados."

"I'm one of the few that actually goes after them, but the heads of state are the trickier ones to deal with. Most Desperados like that simply become Desperados to get the DESPER, and as such rarely if at all go out of their way to challenge insignificant nobodies like me, especially since me beating them could and would cause problems for their entire nations."

The line gave Mimoko pause as she remembered the Pewler incident a few weeks ago, particularly Muirchertach, the Taoiseach of Ireland. But she quickly put the thoughts on hold to focus back on the game.

Retskcirb had finally calmed down from the shock of nearly being his with an intercontinental ballistic chess piece, or ICBCP as the commentators dubbed it, and captured the rook at e7 with his bishop.

Miralem, meanwhile, moved his bishop to c3, lining up his remaining artillery for another barrage. Retskcirb tried to fortify himself by moving his pawn to g6, but Miralem spat in that with more aggression by moving his pawn to g5. Retskcirb was still all in on defense though, as he moved his rook to e8, inviting Miralem to make another aggressive play in the form of moving his pawn to d6.

"And that's a wasted piece. Well a pawn for my pocket, any ole day," Retskcirb thought as he captured the pawn at d6 with his bishop.

"And thanks for the advance. Now I can RAID YOU!" Miralem thought as he captured the pawn at f6 with his g-pawn.

Retskcirb quickly captured said pawn with his g-pawn, but now he was vulnerable to Miralem's second major assault.

"CHECK! YIELD BEFORE MY ARTILJERIJA!" Miralem gleefully cackled as he captured the pawn at f6 with his bishop, sending said pawn flying, though not with as much force as with the queen, causing it to only bonk against the soundproof glass.

But when Retskcirb defended by moving his bishop to e7, Miralem just couldn't help himself as he grabbed the bishop at f7 and leaped into the air with it. "ARTILJERIJA! BOSANAC SAM BEKRIJA [ARTILLERY! I AM A BOSNIAN BEKRIJA]!" he sang and shouted as he captured the bishop at e7 with his bishop, sending it hurdling into the soundproof glass, embedding it next to the queen.

"Those poor chess pieces. Can't the WWCF discipline him for that?" Mimoko frowned as Retskcirb scowled and captured the bishop at e7 with his rook.

"Hopefully, but if Bosnia and Herzegovina win the match, they won't get punished," Daria sighed as Miralem moved his pawn to f5.

"Even then, players can't get hurt by them even if they get hit, right?" Okisato asked as Retskcirb moved his pawn to d6.

"Correct, the pieces will apparently re-direct their trajectory so as not to hit a living being, and even come to a direct stop if they are about to make physical contact with one," Daria stated as Miralem moved his pawn to f6.

"The pieces have that function?" Mimoko asked.

"Correct. As you just saw, when physical boards and pieces are used instead of ones created by WWCF cards or DESPERs, some players have the violent tendency to send pieces flying. With that in mind, the WWCF implemented that safety feature," Daria explained as Retskcirb moved his rook to f7.

Now the game was reaching it's end with Miralem deciding to get his king in on the action by moving it to d2. Retskicirb desperately moved his pawn to a5, in an attempt to create counterplay, but all that did was hasten his demise as it gave Miralem he chance to move his queen to g3.

"I ain't letting ya get near my horde of gold," Retskcirb thought as he moved his rook to f8.

And that right there was it. With a gleeful grin, Miralem slammed his queen down on g7, prompting Retskcirb to once again opt for defense, by moving his rook to e8.

"Keep cowering, while I come pounding!" Miralem thought as he slammed his pawn down on f7.

With no choice, Retskcrib moved his bishop to d7, allowing Miralem to capture the rook at e8 with his f-pawn and promote said pawn into... a bishop.

The move completely baffled Retskcirb, but to the more skilled peanut gallery watching and his teammate on the next board over, Skaberghast, they completely understood the message; Miralem was spitting in Retskcirb's face.

"That promoted piece gets captured anyway for the mate, so him choosing the lowest he could go without extending the game, is pure disrespect. Normally I wouldn't care, but thanks to Rasputin's stunt tanking out Sommer for the day, I'm stuck in a contractual obligation to play instead of sleep. And we just had to be up against the Bosnians. They're some of the rowdiest, hot-blooded powder kegs in the entire Desperado league," Skaberghsast grumbled in his mind as Retskcirb captured the bishop at e8 with his bishop.

It was the end of the line for Retskcirb though, as rook e1 came charging into play, leaving with little options, ultimately leading to him moving his pawn to b6. And now it was just clean up as Miralem moved his bishop to f5 with a smug smirk on his face.

"Damn maniac! Never wanna face you again," Retskcirb scowled as he moved his pawn to h5.

"Who cares, I kicked your ass once, I can always kick it again. CHECKMATE!" Miralem gleefully shouted as he slammed his queen down on g5, winning the game.

Bosnia and Herzegovina now led Denmark 1-0, with things heavily leaning towards the Bosnians except on one board.

"This is why I hate being the best on the team; I'm stuck carrying it," Skaberghst thought as he let out a yawn before refocusing on his own game.

The full game:

White: Miralem Artiljerija (2548) Black: Retskcirb Eht (2007)

1. e4 e5

2. Nf3 Nc6

3. Nc3 Nf6

4. Nxe5 Nxe5

5. d4 Nc6

6. d5 Ne5

7. f4 Neg4

8. h3 Bb4

9. hxg4 Nxe4

10. Qf3 Qe7

11. Kd1 Bxc3

12. Bd3 Nd2

13. Bxd2 Bxb2

14. Rb1 Bf6

15. Re1 Kd8

16. Rxe7 Bxe7

17. Bc3 f6

18. g5 Re8

19. d6 Bxd6

20. gxf6 gxf6

21. Bxf6+ Be7

22. Bxe7+ Rxe7

23. f5 d6

24. f6 Rf7

25. Kd2 a5

26. Qg3 Rf8

27. Qg7 Re8

28. f7 Bd7

29. fxe8=B Bxe8

30. Re1 b6

31. Bf5 h5

32. Qg5#