There's no way I like gals, right? chapter 2

2

I walked to school the next day just as early. The weather had gotten colder, so my breath formed a white fog as I exhaled. I was wrapped up tightly and snugly in a scarf, as I paced the cold and empty morning streets toward the station. The train ride seemed to go by much faster today, as I was mainly distracted by my thoughts and confusion surrounding Akari after yesterday’s incident. I stepped off the train, scanned my card for the gate, and stepped out into the cold Shibuya morning streets. The walk was like usual, although much chillier. I held myself tightly with each occasional gust of wind that hit me, as I walked faster to the school, determined to escape the cold. I finally arrived and was greeted by the cozy and warm heat of the classroom.

That lunch, I sat down in my usual place behind the wall, expectedly but nervously waiting for Akari. As expected, Akari showed up, looking cheery as ever.

“Hi Hina!”

She waved energetically.

“H-hi Akari…”

I still could not look directly at her face for more than a few seconds without becoming a flustered mess.

“I’m so glad you let me eat with you Hina!”

“Y-yeah…y-you sure you don’t want to eat with your friends?”

“Nah! I’m very happy where I am!”

She started a merry tune and sat down next to me and unwrapped her lunchbox. With a simple phrase of gratitude, she picked up her chopsticks and started eating. She’s even eating like a queen…her movements and chewing so graceful and delicate… so ladylike…and even her drinking that melon soda…

W-wait. Melon soda???

I suddenly turned dumbfounded as I looked at the can Akari was clutching. Sure enough, it was the exact one I had given her yesterday. She couldn’t have gotten it anywhere else… I picked a special edition can only be available in my area… so why…

“A-Akari?”

“Mm?”

She responded, her voice muffled with food

“Is that … the melon soda I gave you yesterday?”

Akari suddenly froze and then coughed on her food. Her cheeks seemed to slowly tint with a rosy red, and she seemed to be a bit… flustered?

“N-no!”

She stammered. She quickly tucked the can behind her and gave a nervous chuckle.

“Y-you must’ve seen wrong!”

“R-right… I guess I did… my bad.”

“N-no worries!”

She quickly turned her back to me, and seemed to be muttering something to herself, before talking a while to recompose and straighten herself back up. She breathed a heavy exhale.

What the hell was that all about? I thought to myself.

Over the next few days, I had grown more accustomed to eating lunch with Akari, although she did a lot of talking, and I barely gave any answers, I still liked having around for some strange reason. Every day, I would catch myself strangely actually anticipating lunch.

“Hina.”

“H-huh? Yeah?”

We were both sitting at the bench behind the wall. It was now early winter, so the temperature outside was even more chilly. The once cozy and warm wooden benches were now bone cold, and the patches of grass and foliage in front of us had faded into a dull brown. Most of the leaves had already fallen off the tree, scattered all over the floor like a brownish-red sea. Both of us were wrapped up in our winter uniforms. Akari was wrapped in a light brown scarf, the fabric covering the entirety of her neck, while I was wearing a soft pastel pink scarf.

“Your scarf…”

“W-what about it?”

I dreaded what she was going to say next. It was a hand me down from my sister, and I personally thought it was way too childish for a person my age. Akari must’ve thought the same. I braced myself for the incoming insult.

“It’s cute.”

She said innocently and simply.

“H-huh?”

“I said your scarf is cute.”

“O-oh… thanks.”

I turned away from her and desperately tried to regather my thoughts. S-she said my scarf was cute. Was she teasing me? Was that a backhanded compliment on how childish I looked? Y-yea…That must be it. Right?

Akari continued to stare at me with her innocent gaze, which only served to further fluster me.

“Let’s go shopping.”

“Huh?”

“Cmon. Let’s go shopping.”

My sister repeated, a tone of both amusement and finality. She stood with her arms crossed, her long, flowing hair draping over her shoulders and back. She was clad in a cozy, oversized hoodie which was coloured a soft pastel purple, and thick pyjama pants. Her foot tapped irritably on the floor, obviously annoyed by my answer.

“I said, let’s go shopping.”

She repeated, her tone more demanding this time. I was lying on the couch, mindlessly scrolling my phone. I looked away and up at her, my expression unconcerned

“No.”

“What? Why…Cmon… You always stay at home. You gotta go out some days…”

“I said no. You know I don’t even like that stuff.”

“Yeah”

She scoffed.

“You would rather laze around all day, doing nothing at home huh?”

She said, obviously trying to rile me up.

“Yea.”

“W-what?”

My sister was taken aback by my nonchalant response. In all honestly, I couldn’t really argue with her. She knew I hated shopping. She knew I hated going out. I absolute despised it. Seeing other people my age who actually had friends, chatting and laughing away without a care in the world. I would much rather stay at home and do nothing. At least at home I won’t be reminded of how lonely I am.

“Cmon…please…”

My sister’s original tone of voice turned straight into one of pleading.

“No. I said no.”

“Hmpf. Fine. I guess you want me to tell mom about how you’ve been lying to her about going to a club after school every day, when in reality you’re hanging out with your friends?”

“H-huh?”

That comment caught me off guard. It took several seconds for it to sink in. I suddenly jolted up, the words finally processing in my mind. No, no. that would be bad. If Hana told mom about how I’ve been lying behind her back… she’ll get really mad at me… and even worse… they might even find the real reason I’ve been coming home so late – to avoid Akari. I sighed a defeated exhale and dropped my head down in guilt.

“F-fine. You win.”

“Yay!”

My sister’s vulnerable and pleading expression immediately contorted into one of ecstasy and satisfaction.

“Good. I knew you’ll come around.”

Her usual smug smile slowly spread across her face.

“Let’s have a girl’s night out! Just us two! Sister to sister bonding!”

“Sure… whatever.”

“So, it’s settled! After school, tomorrow?”

“Fine.”

Pleased, my sister spun around and happily skipped to her room, humming a merry tune.

“W-wait! Where?”

“Hmm? Shibuya of course!”

Fuck.

I exhaled nervously as I stood in front of the train station, waiting for my sister. I never really paid attention to the hustle and bustle of Shibuya, as I was too focused on getting home normally, but standing here and taking it all in, I could see why it was deservedly named the heart of Tokyo. It was a chilly winter afternoon, but snow was yet to come, and the sky had not darkened yet. The neon signs and streetlights had not been turned on yet, but the seas of moving people made it seem just as alive as it was at nighttime. I sighed again as I looked at the hordes of people moving around me, their conversations and laughter filling the air. I could see a lot of girls my age hanging out after school. trying food, buying keychains, etc. I dropped my head down in embarrassment. The sheer size and vibe of Shibuya only amplified how alone I was.

I fidgeted nervously as I waited for my sister to arrive. I was still wearing my school uniform, with the pink scarf which Akari had complimented fit snugly around my neck. Hordes of students, office workers, until finally.

“Hana!”

I called out to her. My sister swivelled her head around energetically, and our eyes met. She quickly walked to where I was, squishing through the crowds of people.

“Hiya Hina~! You excited?”

“Not really…”

I muttered.

“Aw c’mon, don’t be like that…you know your big sis has been looking forward to this all day!”

“Hmpf. Fine…”

“Yay! Let’s go!”

I raised my head and scanned over my sister’s outfit. She normally wore boyish clothes, so I guess you can consider her a tomboy. She was dressed in an oversized white hoodie, baggy black jeans, and black boots. A black fanny pack was strapped around her. She had also tied her hair up into a ponytail.

“Couldn’t you have worn something cuter…”

“This is how I normally dress! You know that!’

“I know… but still…”

“Still what?”

“You look scary in those clothes… like you’re a delinquent or something…”

“Funny. You sound just like mom right now.”

She reached her hand out to me, and I reluctantly accepted it. We walked through the streets, with me clutching her arm for dear life, in fear that I would be consumed by the crowd of people. We walked through the streets of Shibuya, passing the various stores, pharmacies, and restaurants. Polished, futuristic buildings gleamed in the remaining rays of the afternoon sun. The loud sound of bars and shops setting up their tables and chairs and preparing for their opening at night could be heard in the air. Street performers and recruiters stood on the streets, desperate for attention from any busy passerby.

“Hey, hey, don’t you think that guy’s hot?”

I looked over to who Hana was pointing at. The end of her finger was pinpointing a tall man, with a prominent nose and jawline, big eyes, and a messy, wavy black fringe. He looked quite well built, and was wearing an overcoat over his office clothes.

“Not really.”

“Huh?”

My sister was suddenly confused.

“Really? You sure?”

I shrugged, unconcerned.

“Yea, honestly never liked those types of guys.”

We continued to walk until we arrived at a department store. Seibu Shibuya. The biggest, trendiest, and most popular department store in Tokyo.

“D-don’t tell me…”

“Yep!”

Hana said enthusiastically.

“We’re going in here!”

“No! Please! Anywhere but here!”

“Nope. Too bad. We’re going.”

With a swift and strong tug, she reluctantly dragged me into the building.

I ducked my head shyly as we walked through the rows of trendy stores and cafes, holding tightly onto my sister’s arm. Trendy and hip clothing stores were situated right next to polished and refined designer brands. Restaurants, cafes, and souvenir stores were scattered all around the building. The sound of constant chatter and the crushing feeling of the hordes seemed only to be amplified in here.

“Where are we going…”

“You’ll see!”

She led me inside a cute and bright looking store.

“What the hell are we doing here… you don’t even wear these clothes.”

“Oh. But it’s for you~”

I gulped as I took in my surroundings. The exterior of the store was painted a vibrant pink, with its logo displayed in bright, bubbly letters. The walls of the interior were painted the same pink, and an idol song could be heard in the background, played through a tiny speaker. The store was filled with soft and pastel-coloured shirts, hoodies, bags, necklaces, etc. and was illuminate by a soft glowing white light. The constant murmurs and giggles of teenage girls echoed through the room. Hana walked in and started inspecting the clothes, while I tried my best to stay out of everyone’s way. She came a short while back, holding a cute and pink dress.

“Ha… don’t tell me”

“Yep! You try it on!”

“No.”

“Want me to tell mom~?”

“F-fine.”

I reluctantly snatched the dress out of her hands and went into the changing rooms, sliding the curtain shut. I sighed and slowly began unbuttoning my uniform and slipped on the dress. I slid back the curtain again and nervously stepped out, fidgeting and anxious.

“H-how does it look?”

“Cute. Really cute.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. Now you’ll definitely get that guy to like you.”

Definitely get that guy to like me huh… my mind began losing itself in thoughts of Akari complimenting my dress… calling me cute…then holding me… and then… kiss-

“Hina?”

I was suddenly snapped back by my sister’s sharp voice.

“You look really red right now… don’t tell me.”

She flashed her usual mischievous grin.

“You really did want to impress a guy?”

My cheeks started to tint with a rosy red, both at her comments and my thoughts before on Akari.

“N-no! Of course not!”

“Mhm. Sure”

“Shut up!”

In the end, I bought the dress.

Hana pulled my arm again and then led me to a cozy jewellery store. This store was much more refined than our previous one, with a cool white coating all the walls and ceiling. The brand’s name was printed in a bold gothic font, and the room was illuminated by strong and bright white lights. Racks and rows of rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces and more stood in neatly organised rows, gleaming in the rays of light. Hana then went off into the store and started scrutinizing the jewellery. I watched her as she tried on various accessories, before deciding with a few rings and necklaces.

“Those look really boyish.”

“I know! And I like them!”

She grinned.

“Where are going next?”

“The swimsuit store!”

“WHAT???”

Hana had to forcefully drag me into the swimsuit store. The store had a bubbly and bright vibe and was coloured by soft pastels. Rows of swimsuits of all sizes and designs hung from the walls and wooden racks. Hana continued to drag me in, determined. I begrudgingly complied, and I nervously stepped into the store with her. I immediately looked around and saw that there were many girls my age, excitedly looking over and holding up swimsuits to their friends. I breathed a shaky exhale.

These popular sluts… all they care about is showing skin. The only thing on their mind is probably boys. I thought to myself, and I glared at them with a vicious look. All they probably care about is showing off their ass and boobs… how shameless… and why do their breasts grow so quickly and big, while mine are still flat as a board…

“Hina! Pick out something you like!”

I was snapped out of my hateful trance.

“W-wha huh?”

“I said, pick something you like!”

“I-I don’t have anything I like! You know I’m flat!”

“Well… you can still browse around! Plus, you’re still growing!”

“F-fine…”

I unwillingly leafed and looked through the various racks of swimsuits that hung before me. Colourful and frilly, some were certainly more… modest… than others. I picked up a pink frilly one and held it up. My mind began to race with thoughts again.

W-what would it look like if Akari was wearing this? N-no… why the hell am I thinking about her in that way??? She’s a fellow girl for crying out loud! B-but still… i-it would be nice to see her in this… I imagined her toned body, her soft and supple breasts, her curvy body and legs, clad in this swimsuit. Lying there on the floor, so helpless

A-ah… no… d-don’t touch there Hina~ I’m sensitive~

“Hina?”

“Y-yes!”

I jolted back to reality, and looked over to my sister, whose face had leaned in close so that it was only a few inches away from mine. I felt a familiar heat rise to my cheeks.

“You were thinking about something naughty weren’t you~”

“S-shut up!”

We eventually found a place to stand after getting tapioca. I shyly sipped my drink through the straw.

“So… how was today?”

“N-not bad…”

“See. I knew you would enjoy it.”

Hana said triumphantly. In all honesty, it wasn’t that bad. It was just an afternoon of shopping with my sister. At least its better than what its like at school –

“Isn’t that her?”

Urk. My breath hitched and my body suddenly froze as I heard the voices of two girls from my class

“Oh wow… it really is! Haha. She really is a loner, hanging out by herself!”

“I know right! I wouldn’t be caught dead doing that!”

“Hey, isn’t this the girl Akari’s trying to get close to?”

“Yea! And I don’t see why at all! She’s a fucking lonely loser!”

I gritted my teeth and clutched the plastic cup in my hands harder. I stood with my head down, allowing their rain of insults to fall on me. That’s right. I was too happy for a moment… I had to be put in my place… that I’m nothing but a loner. It must’ve been such a pathetic sight. Seeing a teenage girl out here all by herself…

My sister suddenly stepped towards them.

“What the hell did you fuckers say?”

My sister towered over the two girls, her aura menacing and intimidating. The two girls’ tone of mockery had suddenly shrunk down to one of fear as they looked up at my sister. Hana glared at them, her eyes narrowing. The two girls continued to shake, one clutching their book bag while the other swallowed hard, both looking up timidly at my sister, an expression of fear painted over both their faces.

“I said. What the hell did you two say.”

“N-nothing! I swear!”

“Y-yeah! Nothing!”

“Oh really…”

“Y-yeah!”

Hana suddenly leaned in closer to them both, causing them to cower in fear.

“If you say that shit ever again… I’ll fucking kill you”

My sister said in a sharp and harsh whisper.

“Y-yes…”

The two girls then bowed and apologized and scurried quickly out of sight. I breathed a sigh of relief as my sister came back to my side.

“Are you alright Hina?”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I stared down at my feet, my head dropped in shame. I then suddenly wrapped my arms around Hana, who was a bit taken aback at first and stumbled back but quickly regained her footing and embraced me back tighter. As I felt the tears start to blur my vision and threaten to roll down my cheeks, Hana petted me softly and gently.

“There, there. Big sis is here.”

“Hina…”

“W-what is it?”

I was sitting at my usual lunch spot with Akari again. It had almost become routine for us to eat lunch together, in this secluded area away from everyone. It was now pretty far into winter, so the weather outside was much chillier. The grass in front of us was covered in a thin layer frost, the ice glistening in the mid-day sun like diamonds. The trees had lost all their leaves and were skeletons of what they used to be, their shapes black and grotesque. I had just taken a bite of my lunch when suddenly Akari asked,

“Y-you’re not in any gangs or anything… right?”

I sputtered and coughed, confused.

“W-what??? O-of course not! Where the hell did you get that from?”

Akari looked down, her eyes dejected yet hopeful. She looked back up at me again, our eyes meeting.

“I-its just that… s-some of my friends told me you were hanging out with a really scary guy…”

“Huh? W-when…”

“L-last Thursday…”

“Last Thursday?”

I thought back to last Thursday… what was I doing last Thursday… oh that’s right… I was shopping with my sister. And then Akari’s friends… started insulting me… and my sister… Oh. Oh god. Akari thinks my sister is a delinquent.

“I-I wasn’t! I swear!”

“A-Are you sure?!”

“Y-yes!”

I nodded vigorously.

“A-alright…just don’t get involved with those types of people, ok? I-I really don’t want you to get hurt”

“Yeah. I know. You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Over the next few days, I had grown quite accustomed to Akari being around me a lot. During class, she would often wave or smile at me, and sometimes even try to talk with me. During lunch, we would sit together, and chat and laugh. She seemed to be getting closer and closer to me by each passing moment, but I still didn’t understand why. I was confused. Sceptical. Would a popular girl like her really want to be friends with a loser like me? Akari was different… she wasn’t like the other popular kids… she didn’t think she was higher than anyone else and respected everyone. She was kind, warm, caring, even to people like me. But why? Was this just some long pulled out prank, to see how long she could tease me before I noticed? Was this just some joke, trying to see how the loser would react talking to the popular girl for the first time in her life? But… I didn’t hate it when she got closer to me, be it fake or not. I felt a strange sense of… comfort whenever I talked and laughed with her. I’ve… never felt this feeling before. And I was hoping. Maybe. Just maybe we could be friends.

“Hina?”

“Mphf!”

Akari snapped me out of my thoughts. I must’ve zoned out again. I hadn’t noticed that her face was only mere inches from mine, painted with a face of concern. Her delicate hands were propping her up, and her graceful hair flowed down silky over her shoulders and face. I felt a heat rise up to my face.

“I-I’m fine!”

I suddenly pulled back, and placed my hand on my chest, trying to catch my breath. Akari just stared at me with the same worried expression. I took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah! I’m sure!”

“Were you even listening to a word I was saying…”

“U-uh… n-no… sorry.”

Akari pouted cutely and let out an exasperated sigh. She pulled back her arms and folded them across her chest, acting and looking like a pouting child.

“As I was saying…”

She continued in an annoyed tone.

“I’ve been starting to learn how to give massages to my grandparents!”

She announced proudly, while patting her flexed arm.

“H-huh…”

“A-and I was wondering… i-if I could practice on you… Hina?”

“H-huh???”

It took a moment for her words to sink in. I put my hands to my face as I felt my blush appearing again.

“W-what???”

“P-please Hina… I-I just want to practice on you…”

She looked at me with pleading puppy eyes. Practice… massaging… on me? W-what type of massage is she referring to? C-certainly not those… dirty ones, right? Y-yeah! T-there’s nothing wrong! S-she just wants to practice her massage techniques for her grandparents!

“U-um… sure.”

Her pleading expression instantly turned into one of joy and satisfaction.

“Yay! Thanks, Hina!”

“N-no problem…”

“Now, just lay down.”

I obediently laid down on the cold bench on my stomach and nervously anticipated the massage. I had laid face down, so I could not see anything other than the floor and the bottom of the bench. I then felt soft but firm hands grab onto me back.

“H-hyah!”

Akari pulled back.

“A-are you ok???”

“Y-yea… I’m fine…”

“Ok. Tell me when it gets uncomfortable.”

I nodded meekly. I then laid down again, and started feeling Akari’s soft, trained hands massage my back. It felt… really nice actually. Really soothing and calming. As I laid there, engrossed in my dream-like trance of pleasure, I suddenly heard panting.

“A-Akari… are you ok?”

“Y-yea… I-I’m fine…”

She panted thirstily. She continued to caress and relieve my back. I could hear her breathing grow more rapid and louder.

“W-what a cute little body… I-I need to massage it all…”

“W-wha huh?”

I suddenly looked back at Akari, who looked at my back with lusty eyes. Her breathing only grew heavier.

“S-such a cute body… I-I’ll take care of it all…”

She traced her hands softly down my back… to my ass???

“D-don’t worry Hina… I-I’ll massage it all for you…”

I suddenly flipped my whole body around, which startled Akari. I looked back at her with a shocked and flustered expression.

“W-wha…”

Akari seemed to snap out of her trance, and her thirsty expression was suddenly replaced by one of guilt and shame.

“S-sorry!!! I-I didn’t mean to…”

“I-its fine… j-just… really unexpected…”

I looked away from her to hide my rising blush.

“I-I’m really sorry! I-I’ll never do that again!”

“Y-yeah… I-I think that’s for the best…”

We then sat there in silence, the two of us both sitting up straight and not muttering a word to each other. It was… really embarrassing to say the least. We were having more of these embarrassing moments and conversations everyday…

“I-I’m really sorry!!!”

“H-huh? O-oh yeah… n-no its fine…”

But deep down and I didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of me didn’t mind. It felt like we were getting closer each passing moment. Sure, it was tiny. But bit by bit, I felt like we were getting closer.

I had finally decided to not leave school late one day. I didn’t really mind if Akari caught me and forced me to walk home with her. In fact, deep down, I was kind of hoping she would. As I packed up my stuff with the rest of the class, my pencils, pens, textbooks, I zipped up my book bag and walked out of the classroom. I-it wasn’t like I was waiting for her company or anything… but I decided to search the school for her… just a little.

I walked through the empty hallways and passed the deserted classrooms. My shoes squeaked against the shiny, wooden floor, echoing in the silence. The walls of the hallway were painted a dull white, and fluorescent lights buzzed softly from the ceiling. Grey and sleek lockers lined one side, and above glass windows which were filtering in the last rays left of the afternoon sun. the other side was all the empty classrooms and the green bulletin boards which hung in front of them, each plastered with a different event or club application. I heard some chattering coming from a class down the hallway. I slowly and cautiously paced myself there, hiding behind a wall. I peeked inside. There was Akari, talking with two other girls. The two girls were both sitting on a desk each, while Akari on a chair, with condescending looks plastered on their faces. I was about to reach out and call for Akari when suddenly –

“Why the hell do you hang out with that loser so much?”

One girl snapped, her tone clearly irritated.

“Yeah. It seems like the only thing you do now is try to spend as much time with that loser Hina.”

The other retorted.

“She’s a fucking loser. I really don’t get you sometimes, Akari”

“Yeah, people like her are meant to be alone. It’ll fuck up your image.”

Akari just sat there, with her face down in shame.

“Please tell me this is just one big fucking joke.”

As soon as I heard that line, I froze. It seemed as if all time stopped, and my breath hitched. A-a joke… S-so I was right this whole time. I-I’ve been so stupid. T-there was no chance a popular girl like her would ever want to be friends with me… I-I know my place… I’m a pathetic, lonely, loser. I crouched down slowly and cupped my face, trying to wipe away my tears and muffle my sobs. B-but still… I-I wish… even for a moment… W-we were real friends…

The rest of the commute home was nothing but a blur. The usually high and upbeat vibe of Shibuya had now seemed to be enveloped in a dark, depressive cloud. Tears blurred my vision as I frantically walked through the streets. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was such a fucking idiot. I fell for that way too easily. Of course, there would be no reason for a girl like her to talk to me. I’m so dumb. I’m so fucking dumb. They’re right. I’m just a pathetic lonely loser. I continued rushing through the streets. My throat felt like it was tightening, like a hand had come to choke me. I started breathing in ragged gasps, as I felt like my lungs were collapsing. Tears continued streaming down my face and the sobbing continued, barely being hidden and muffled by my hands which cupped my face. I let out a strangled cough as I continued to hurry back.

I really thought we had something. But it makes sense. It was definitely all a big prank. A big joke, so see how the loser would react to a popular girl talking to her for the first time. B-but still… if she tricked me… why do I still want to be friends with her so badly?

I slammed open the door, which startled both my sister and mom.

“W-woah… have you been crying???”

My sister looked shocked, while my mother wore an expression of worry.

“S-sweetie… what happen-”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Hina, stop being a baby…”

“I SAID I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!”

They both cowered a little, surprised by my sudden outburst. I slammed close the door, hurriedly put on my slippers, and huffed upstairs to my room.

The next day, the commute to school was equally grey and depressing. I slowly paced through the empty and cold winter streets. It was cold. Really cold. It had just started snowing, so I was wrapped tightly in a coat, scarf and thick boots. I continued to trek through the frost covered concrete path my mind elsewhere. It had just snowed last night, so every roof and object outside was covered in a white layer of pearly, glistening snow. The occasional beep of a minivan could be heard in the otherwise uncomfortable silence.

It was snowing this morning as well, albeit very lightly. The small white flakes fell from the sky gracefully and angelically, the sun reflecting off them, like tiny diamonds glistening in the air. I continued to trek until I reached the station. I took the train, got off at Shibuya, and stepped out. It was my first time seeing Shibuya in the snow.

Everything was coated in a fluffy white layer, and the cold weather seemed to have tamed the city somehow. There were much less people this morning, and all the bright neon lights seemed to have been muffled by the snow. The sound of conversation and chatter also seemed more sprase. Seeing Shibuya this cold and empty for the first time only amplified how lonely and shit I felt. I continued the walk to school.

“Heya~!”

I heard Akari’s cheerful voice cut through the silence, and the crunching of snow as her footsteps came closer.

“I finally get to see you before school! You always got up so early, so I was sad I couldn’t see you… but I can now!”

I don’t know. Maybe it was the weather, my thoughts, my loneliness, maybe it was all of them. I brushed Akari off and pretended like I didn’t hear her.

“Aw~ why are you ignoring me~?”

She said in the same sing-song voice as before.

“Shut up.”

I said in a low growl.

“H-huh?”

“I said. Shut the fuck up. I get it. I’m a loser. I’m easy to pick on. But please. Can You just leave me the fuck alone.”

“H-Hina… W-what are you…”

“I’m not dumb ok! I know your just doing this to have a good laugh! I know you’re doing this because you like bullying losers like me!”

“H-Hina… T-that’s not…”

“JUST SHUT UP OK!”

I then turned around and ran as fast as I could, leaving Akari all by herself in the snow.

School that day seemed to be going faster than usual. Instead of my mind being clouded with thoughts… it was now… empty. For the first time in forever, I felt like I was truly lost, truly alone in this world.

I didn’t come go to my usual lunch spot, and I also avoided Akari as much as possible. I even waited a bit after school to leave like before. I grabbed my book bag and walked through the empty hallways. The sound of my footsteps echoed in the silence. Then. I heard another pair of footsteps. I braced and slowly turned around. It was Akari.

“W-what the hell do you want”

“H-Hina… I-I would never…”

“Just shut up ok. I’m tired of you. I’m leaving.”

I swiftly turned around to walk away, but I was stopped by the sound of sniffling and quiet, muffled sobbing. Yeah. She’s probably sad that she needs to find a new loser to toy with. She’s evil. Just like the rest of them. I said as I slowly swivelled around.

But what I saw was the complete opposite. There was no more of the bright, bubbly, cheerful Akari I usually knew. Instead, it was a lost, vulnerable girl, bawling her eyes out. The tears dropped from her eyes and onto her sleeves and uniform as she tried to wipe them off. It that moment, there was no ‘popular girl’ Akari. It was just a poor, tender, and lost girl.

Ah… That’s right… I knew deep down didn’t I. Akari wasn’t like the rest of them. She truly was just a nice girl who cared for and wanted to be friends with me… she’s just as lost as I am… just as alone as I am…

“I-I’m sorry Akari… I-I didn’t mean to-”

I was cut off by Akari’s sudden embrace. She jumped onto me and hugged me tightly, as if I was going to escape the moment she loosened her grip. I slowly wrapped my arms around her, and in that moment, all that could be heard was the quiet sobbing and breathing of a lonely girl. I could feel her hot breath on me, her tears dampening my uniform. She looked at my face, her eyes red and puffy.

“P-please don’t hate me…”

“I won’t.”

“P-promise to be friends?”

“Yeah. Promise.”