The Fine Print

“My caped friend will handle the details.” The other two angels faded away and then I opened my eyes as though I’d had them closed the entire time. Since I first appeared in that white space I hadn’t even registered whether I had a body or not. I think I may have just been a floating sole.

Now I was suddenly standing in a small clearing surrounded by woods. I had assumed I’d be starting over from childhood but I guess that was my misunderstanding. I still felt mostly the same, maybe a little top heavy and my shoulders seemed a bit broader. Despite that I also felt lighter. Maybe this was a side effect of the transfer, like jet lag.

I took a step forward and nearly fell flat on my face, luckily I put my hands down in the nick of time. My balance was seriously off kilter. I raised the hands that caught me which looked younger, much smaller and paler than my previous hands. I picked myself off the ground but something was swinging around like crazy as I did so, making me a tad unsteady. And there was something else that felt off but I couldn’t quite place it.

I finally managed to pick myself off the ground with a weird amount of effort. A thought was gnawing at me. I had a weird feeling. I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. I looked down and immediately wished I hadn’t

Before my eyes were two mountainous blobs of flesh, the likes of which I had only been able to glance at on the internet. Something must have gone terribly wrong somewhere because it appeared I was no longer a man. I was now a woman with the biggest tits I’d ever seen.

The angels I’d spoken to had sword that this was a formality and should be a cakewalk. The guy practically swore I’d be born in a safe place free of temptation.

They certainly whiffed this. Every statement and claim they’d made seemed to have been a lie. This was so much temptation. Wait! I’m technically me, right? And if this is my body from here on in then would messing around with myself even really count. I never claimed to keep my on hands off myself while on Earth and I still managed to meet their requirements.

I began to kneed the giant lumps of fat, though as I caressed myself I found myself not necessarily stimulated like I thought I’d be, it was probably something closer to fascination. I’d never touched a girl before, not like this anyway, not in the entirety of my 158 years on Earth. It was a wholly unique, new experience for me; I was frankly mesmerized by all the new sensations.

I’m unsure of how long I spent prodding myself but before I knew it the orange glow of evening had settled across the cypress woods.

I lowered myself to the ground. It was time to figure out my next steps. I needed shelter most importantly. Night was fast approaching which is most likely when the more dangerous predators would begin to appear. I also had to keep myself actively aware that I was now a girl, making this entire scenario that much more dangerous. I had no idea how strong this new body was and only cursory self-defense knowledge. But the biggest blind spot was the forest itself. This was supposedly a fantasy world so who knew what threats lurked in the shadows of this forest. 

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I walked carefully, being mindful of my added front weight. I occurred to me that I no longer had a certain male body part but a female one instead, I’d however had not looked for fear I might pass out on the spot, also it was really difficult to see down there with the massive gazongas in the way.

Shelter, water, food, in that order and then I’d thing about all the implications of my whole situation and such. I could feel it though, or more specifically now that the shock had worn off I was now aware of all the ways my current body differed from my old body.

The obvious, tits aside, was how much more youthful and energetic I now felt. I felt 100 years younger, heck 200 years and I wasn’t even alive for 200 years. Toward to end I wasn’t able to do much, in fact, I was probably asleep more than awake near the end. There were probably about a dozen times in the last three years that I’d flatlined, yet somehow I kept coming back, until I didn’t.

Body wise I could feel of the taughtness of my neck, face, and stomach, also the smooth sensation of my thighs rubbing together as I walked.

I was practically a stick even when I was younger. I was tall and lanky, so much so that I was recruited by the both the volleyball and basketball teams in High School and College. Despite my conditioning I remained stick like, a stick that eventually turned into a scarecrow as old age set in.

I was nearly set adrift in nostalgia when I stumbled across a river. River might be too generous a descriptor, perhaps freshwater creek was a better description.

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 Night had now fully enveloped the forest. I could hear chirping and what sounded like cricket. It was probably premature to stop here, however, as I gelt as though going any further would be even more unwise. The river would provide a quick escape if th ended arose.

Taking stock of myself I wasn’t feeling particularly worn down even though I’d traveled about two hours on foot. Being young certainly was a marvel. Once I got into my 70s even getting up and down the stairs was an issue and I was basically immobile at 110.

Time is extremely unkind. Looking back I have no idea what was sustaining me. Little by little every bit of freedom was taken from me, robbed by the flow of time. As you age it becomes clearer what time is worth and how much of it is wasted. There’s so many things I’d taken for granted, chewing food, going on walks, having a conversation with a friend. I’d never thought of any of that as particularly miraculous but when you’re no longer able to do those things, they suddenly become all the more special.

“I wanted to have sex so bad!!!” The words slipped out of my mouth and into the nighttime air. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud and yet there they were. I sat in shocked silence. Not just because of what I’d said but because it wasn’t my voice, it was a that of a girl’s. I’m not sure it had fully sunk in yet, my whole situation.

I’d never had any female friends or companions really, at least no one who stuck around for long. I went on a date ONCE bit it never went beyond that one. My nonprofessional interactions were minimal. Females might as well have been an alien species to me that existed in a universe aside from mine, or perhaps I was the alien. Technically, since I was now on a different world, I actually was an alien. This was certainly an unusual experience.

Every feeling and touch was the same yet different. There was no easy was of describing this experience. I laid back on my bed of grass. My massive boobs were propelled upward for a second, jiggling a bit then becoming still. Honestly, my breasts were winding me more than the actual walking. “Hm!” I stifled a girlish giggle at the thought. I was weirdly at peace with this sudden transformation.

Tomorrow I’d officially start my life in this new body on this new planet. I could contain my giddiness and began rolling around with laughter.

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 My eyes shot open just as the moon had begun to dip but before the sun had risen creating a cold ambiance. I stood up and stretched myself out. Even though I’d slept on the ground I somehow didn’t feel any pain and was hardly stiff at all. All of the sudden a chill ran through my body. A burning sensation in my bladder commanded my attention.

It was the fateful moment: the call of nature had finally hit me. I wandered around hoping the feeling would just go away but alas it seemed I’d held it as long as I cold. I sprinted downstream for as long as I could hold out and took a deep breath.

I was wearing a simple white T-shirt and burgundy overalls. It occurred to me that this girl may have already existed and my soul simply overrode her which made me very nervous about seeing her name but DAMN I’ve got to go! It had to happen sooner or later. I was sorry, super duper uber sorry. I made a vow to try and keep peeping to a minimum.

I undid her clothing and…right, I’ve gotta squat or things could get messy. I repositioned myself just in time. Oh, and I’ve also heard it’s very important to dry it off afterward as that area was very prone to infection. I blotted the area with a leaf that I prayed was not poisonous and buttoned everything back up.

I walked back to my “campsite” and laid back down, determined to go back to sleep and wake up pretending none of this happened.

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I awakened a few hours later with the gallantly shining through the treetops. Sitting up I almost reflexively grabbed my back as if once again expecting to be in pain but I was neither stiff nor sore and gee willikers this scene felt familiar. I rotated my shoulders, neck, and stretched out my legs before standing up. I almost fell down again with the recoil from my breasts.

I stood staring at my chest, deep in thought. I couldn’t say with certainty but I don’t think they should have been heavy enough to be throwing me about like this, however this was another world and her breasts were abnormally large so I might just have been underestimating the struggle and strain of the female body.

I stretched some more. This weather was a bit nipply, I mean nippy this morning. My dad would have said this was perfect camping weather. He was a bit of an outdoorsman and he particularly enjoyed camping in the fall and winter. I’d guess it had to be the equivalent of September/October though climate change had made that distinction almost meaningless. By the time of my passing Fall was basically 3 weeks and then we were plunged into freezing winter which also only lasted a little over a month. Most of the year it was warm to unreasonably hot.

I was optimistic that there might actually be a full four seasons in this new world. It would be great if the temperatures were at least consistent, that would be a welcome surprise. The morning chill was pretty refreshing. It could have been more than 18 Celsius with a moderate breeze. I sighed contentedly. This was a nice moment of peace.

After some silence I took a proper look at my surroundings. Birds chirped at the sun and the creek burbled at my feet. This girls feet were large and it just occurred to me that she was barefoot. I somehow didn’t notice. They were large and thick, it must have been normal for her to walk around without shoes. I let out a short, sharp whistle and decided it might be a good idea to go further downstream.

Despite hearing birds and other wildlife, I’d yet to actually see any other life forms. I had been keeping an eye out for animals both big and small but had yet to spot any.

The path I was on grew steeper and I found myself beginning to jog, pulled forward by the weight of my chest. I started to slip as I ran, just barely managing to keep myself upright.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” I screeched as I attempted to stop. My negotiations fell through and I ended up on the ground tumbling down the hill. It gradually leveled out and my body came to a stop.

I now had no idea where I was. Not that I’d known at any point since arriving but I was truly genuinely lost at this point.

I hoisted myself up. There was the sound of crashing water nearby. I followed the sound and came across a small waterfall. The spray of the water on my skin felt nice and something like a womanly instinct for a bath kicked in. I say this as if wanting to be clean wasn’t a universal prerogative but the stereotype was that woman were more likely to take a bath than men. I myself at least had never been partial to baths. Standing here, however, covered in dirt, I now had the overwhelming urge to jump in.

I still remained cautious, there were far too many uncertainties to feel at all safe. It’s true I hadn’t been attacked, yet strangely that only further made me raise my guard. It was possible I had been granted some level of divine protection that warded off beats but it was impossible to verify right this moment.

That being said I still felt as though I was just borrowing this body and so I guess felt some level of responsibility for maintaining it’s health and hygiene as much as one could in this scenario.

After a bit more hemming and hawing I undressed and got into the pond. It was thankfully pretty shallow. I waded into the waterfall. On the other side was a rock wall. I would be hidden here if anyone or anything wandered by. I also like this spot since it made me feel isolated from the rest of the world.

I breathed in and out, enjoying the peace. I let my mind wander.

I suppose I came from a fairly well off family. They left me a lot of money after they died which certainly came in handy during the last 70 years of my life when I could no longer work. On the other hand the only thing that money ended up going toward was more and more nurses and doctors.

The years passed and eventually people started coming for interviews with me. I suppose I enjoyed the attention, but I never got anything other than publicity and I could only enjoy that fleetingly. There was a website that supposedly had a countdown to when I would die. I also heard there were people betting on exactly when I’d finally kick the bucket. I suppose that sort of attention was normal when you get to live as long as me. I became a source of entertainment and all I could do was sit in my bed and take it in. I was a bit of a minor celebrity on the outside. On the outside.

But that was beyond the scope of what I could observe day-to-day, it was noise that filtered in every once in a while. My inside world was the beeps of my heart monitor beside my bed and click-clack of heels on the linoleum floor outside my door. I don’t suppose I’d even truly had a moment of silence once I got admitted.

The rush of the waterfall took me backward and reminded me of all the noise. This was the first time I’d known peace and silence in a long time. I could finally think. My body bobbed up and down in the water as I rested against the rock wall. I closed my eyes and breathed in the misty air.

I wish I could thank the gods who put me here, and this girl. This may not have been exactly what they promised but I could forgive it. This moment made it all worth it. I know I’ll meet them again one day. I just have to go the next 30… no, wait it might be less depending on how old this girl is, it might only be 10-15 years that I have to hold out, then I’ll see them again, and then…

I smiled. Maybe I should throw an orgy to celebrate. I burst out laughing. If anyone could see my now they would have thought I’d gone crazy. I was joking of course. I’d never have the confidence to do or suggest that sort of thing. I could never be that open with another person let alone a whole group.

I gave a a relaxed sigh. The girl’s voice was so pleasant but it wasn’t mine and I didn’t want to abuse the privilege of being inside her. That sounded wrong. I opened my eyes. I will respect her as a human…being. My breath caught in my throat.

Within the waterfall I could vaguely see a reflection of myself, or the girl who I was inhabiting, staring back at me. She had black shoulder length hair, pale skin, and big purple eyes, as well as the massive, massive breasts that I’d mentioned several times already. But what was also sticking out to me were two small horns sprouting from her head and floppy downturned earns colored like a Dalmatian.

It all clicked into place. Everything made sense now. The size and heft of her tits, the thick feet and thighs, everything.

I’m a cow girl. A literal Cow Girl. To paraphrase a certain news host my great-grandfather was fond of, “now ends this moment of zen.”

“EHHHH!!!!!!!!”

End of Chapter 2.