The 5 weirdos

"And with that, we're screwed. That's it. Nope, nothing we can do to stop this. We don't have the resources, we don't have the tech, we are f-u-c-k-e-d FUCKED!"

That, was perhaps the world's most infamous broadcast. Why, you might ask? Well, because all those suited guys in the video were world leaders or something. I don' know who they are, politics was never my thing. But thanks to that broadcast, everyone's gone full doomer.

"The world is ending!" "It's 2012 for real this time!" Just some of the shit I'm hearing. Seriously, they find another stupid Mayan calendar that claims the world will end or something? It's like the world ends every other day for folks like this.

***

This was Momo Akasegawa, 21, 150 cm tall, chest and bust size-

"OI! THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YA MOLESTING ASS STALKER!?" Momo shouted as she took notice of me.

"Ah, I suppose introductions are in order. I am Jeter. I guess you could say I'm the god of this world."

"Yeah, sure. POLICE!"

Seems I need to prove my status. Easier said than done, because saying things is easier than doing them. With the flick of my wrist, the land was instantly shrouded with snow. Momo did get a bit covered up, but she was still able to move around just fine.

"Th- THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!? YOU DRUG ME OR SOMETHING, YA FUCKING CREEP!?"

"No, I'm proving my status as god of this world to you," I scowled as I returned the setting to normal, though leaving the snow atop Momo's short purple hair intact.

"Brr. Why am I shivering? D- Did you do something to me!?"

Oh forget it, I'll just overwrite- No, I made a pledge to let the world develop organically. If she refuses to believe my words, that's it. But I will at least tell her the truth.

"The world truly will come to an end in one year's time."

Disbelief spread itself upon Momo's face, but it could just be overwhelmingness. I did just dump a blizzard on her.

"Ok, where's the cameras? This HAS to be a prank show if you're going THIS hard," Momo growled.

I had two options. I could continue to try and convince her, or just leave things here. She wasn't the type that would just believe anything outright, even if all the proof you could ask for was shoved in her face. That's the kind of girl I wrote her to be after all.

So why even approach her? Simple, I like her and want her to have a role in the finale. That way, I...

"HEY! The hell you spacing out for, creep!? I'm asking for the link to the stream!" Momo shouted.

Snapping back to the topic at hand, I decided to just tell her the truth.

"This isn't a prank, it's reality. The world only has one year left before it's gone."

Momo's glare told me she was about to call the police, so I decided to just vanish and return to my own realm.

"What a piss poor press conference. Politicians sing more secrets from their lips than you just did," a voice sneered.

Every hair stood on end as I spun around in fury to see the 4 people I wanted to keep away from this world. And the one who just spoke was none other than the man I hated more than anyone, Silas DeSade.

True to his name, the bastard was sadistic and looked the part of a sleezeball with his slicked back hair, glasses, and pencil mustache. He was the same type of being as me, same for the three that were with him. But I would never surrender this world to any of them. But now that they were here, I- UGH!? No... not now of all times...

...

The creepy guy suddenly vanished, but now there were four other weirdos. One was a guy that looked like a sleezy politician, one was a lady decked out in the latest designer apparel that just screamed, "I'm a bitch!", one was an orange ape-like glob of lard, and the final was a girl rockin' the goth, who I felt I could vibe with. Though why the hell was she with all these other creeps?

"Now, did you like the little demonstration of my weapons of war?" the politician guy asked.

"Weapons?"

"Yes. Perhaps you've seen on the news that the world is going to end. Well, that's because I've deemed the world unworthy of living, so I'll be nuking it in a year."

"More pranks?"

BOOM!

A wave of horror overtook me as a truck just a few feet away exploded, sending fire and shrapnel everywhere. I wanted to curl up into a fetal position, but I was too scared to move. Then, something cold splattered onto my cheek.

"Well go on, touch it. I'll allow it," the politician sneered as he raised his hand.

The world appeared to slow down, as if time was stopping. I swear, someone must've slipped something in my drink. As I felt my cheek, I felt my hand becoming cold. I pulled it back, and there was blood. Oh, so I got sliced by shrapnel. And if time's slowing down, guess I died, or am about to. Well, oh well. I'm kind of nihilistic already, so whatever.

"Don't be mistaken. You're not dead or dying, and that's not your blood," the politician maliciously chuckled.

Thump!

Was that my heartrate? No, I don't give a shit about the world or society. So why...

"You think I'm just going to let you go about things in peace? No. I want you to suffer."

"Silas, I want this world, so don't kill everybody," the bitchy woman scoffed.

"I'm not, I'm just giving them fates worse than death, for now."

"That why you lose, ook, ook," the fat ape guy mumbled as he tried pull his fat ass off the ground.

"Guess we should move onto the explanation. Momo... Yeah, you're Momo... Fucking Jeter, bastardizing me like this," the goth girl scowled.

Huh?

"Anyway, call us extraterrestrials, and currently, your world is scheduled to be blown up to make room for a new science project; the next gen solar system. Jeter, the creep you met earlier, is the foreman in charge of this project, so to say, and has decreed that you'll all be destroyed in a year. But, us 4 want to give your world a chance."

"If you can convince one of us that the world is worth it to keep around, we'll spare the world and take over it as it's new ruler," Silas smirked.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse me!?" I scowled.

Suddenly, time began moving again and people engulfed in flames were suddenly running around and collapsing onto the ground.

"We each have a different vision for this world, so only one of us can get the honor of ruling it. But only if you can successfully persuade one of us to invest in it. Hope you got marketing or sales experience, darling. Cuz you're gonna need it if you want to succeed with your sales pitch," the bitch scoffed as her and the other three vanished.

"We see all. You want to contact us, go to the ZEO suite on mainstreet, ook, ook," the ape man's voice rang out.

I blinked for a second, and while the weirdos were truly gone, the chaos and blood weren't.

"Seriously, what the actual fuck is going on!?"