V. man with no machine gun

I'd died a few times—mostly by my own hand, accidentally, though Selene had gotten a bit too excited during sparring sessions here and there—yet it never stopped fascinating me. Other than the excruciating pain, which was unfortunate, to float in the Beyond brought along a feeling of ethereal, inner peace. Besides, it was one of the few instances where I could see how things worked beneath... what, reality?

Lots of numbers. Deleted concepts. Sleepless nights. Loss of revenue. Loss of investors. Layoffs. Hopelessness. 

Next came the worst part: being reassembled from scratch. Allegedly, my backside had more polygons than a very influential game from a bygone era, which was why I took the longest to respawn. Aelius wore a vest with a lot of pointless belts under impractical armor, Selene a mage's cloak, Kiya a bizarre leather suit featuring a miniskirt and thigh-highs. Perhaps, once morale had gone back to normal, I'd study the respawning order to finally put this mystery to rest.

"You're a bitch," was the first thing Selene told me.

To which Kiya snapped, "Watch your tongue, Seer."

"Watch your words, you dark—"

"Wow, there, let's not make it racial," Aelius pleaded. "Game got sanctioned last time." Then he sighed, which alerted Kiya, but not Selene. "Or do. I don't care anymore. Life is meaningless."

The barracks were still reconstructing themselves around us. "It always was," I reminded, then stood up. As I picked up my remaining belongings—my staff, my lyre, and a bag of goodies—I continued: "But yes, I'm journeying to Amuriy. I'm getting licensed as a bard. I shall sing in... public... without trouble and to great reception. Selene, may you quell the war inside of you. Kiya, may you finally learn to use a bow as intended. Aelius, have a horrible life. Farewell."

"A bard," Kiya mumbled, awed. "Wait, Your Highness! Let me pack some snacks first."

...knew it. 

Selene clearly knew he should follow her example, yet he found himself glancing at Aelius, who'd begun to wallow in despair again. "Stay," I told them. "There are others who need you more."

"Nobody needs me," Aelius said.

"Wasn't talking to you."

"I'll go with you."

"No?"

"Enemies, friends," he said, wobbling up. "Heroes, villains. Light, darkness. It is all one and the same. I'll escort you to Amuriy."

To the other two, he might've just been dramatic again, but he and I knew better; such was the speech he would've given at the end of the game, after his friends, Selene included, fell by my hand. However, the last sentence was originally the following: Yet you have dared to separate them.

Something something hope can't exist without despair. After such realization, according to the outline, Aelius's true powers would've awakened and his friends would've regained their strength. Then I, discovering fear, would've died. Needless to say, I wasn't fond of him weaponizing the script. "If you must," I replied.

Selene asked, "What about Lucine, Marius and Ribbon?"

"Bleh," Kiya opined. "Your Highness, must we really bring this maggot and his pack of sycophants along?" 

"None with six-letter names shall follow me," was my response. I'd already begun to walk. It'd take Kiya ten minutes or so to count the letters in her name. As for Selene and Aelius... they probably wouldn't listen, but if they actually went to pick up their party, then that would buy me some time.

I neither needed nor wanted an escort. Without Kiya, the city's frail attempt at order could collapse. I could also say, with no hyperbole, that to be around that bunch for longer than ten seconds was the sort of torture not even I dared come up with. Lucine: the demure and self-sacrificing priestess. Marius: the boisterous brute with a food addiction. Ribbon: a unicorn with the highest magic stat in the game, named Ribbon because she hated ribbons. They were free characters for a reason. 

When I left the barracks, I found a dozen dragonfolk cleaning after the mess Kiya and I had made. No one told them to. They did so because 'it was their job'. Of course, none of them recognized me, but they waved at me after they saw my tail. "That poor thing," one of them whispered to the other, "She got no wings. And she's wearing... that. Poor creature."

If they had been human, I would've decapitated them. Maybe. Probably not. Their words held no contempt, just pity. 

Selene was the first to become my shadow.

I gave him two days before he regretted it. Without acknowledging him, I marched ahead, out the overdesigned gate of the imperial city, another bridge made of mist, and to the mountain travelers were forced to cross to reach it since the map ended on either side.

"Are y—"

"Silence," I said.

"B—"

"Yes. I'm sure of my decision. Are you? That question is rhetorical. We both know the answer is no." Strange. Why would he follow me instead of patching things with his friends? Cowardice, perhaps.

"Then I won't speak to you," he replied. "Just myself."

He did that to annoy me. It might've worked on someone else, but I'd long since learned to tune out irrelevant information. For example, during last chapter's exposition scene, I'd mentally transcribed the background song into a tab... format... while the council debated over Kiya's loss. For aesthetic and thematic reasons, of course, instead of the usual round table with fat old men yelling at each other, they were busty girls with too little clothing. Like me. The lore behind this was that dragonfolk needed to sunbask. At least I got a cape.

"...if you had sent me to fight along with Kiya, we could've won. Why did..."

Oh, dear, still talking. I tuned him out again. Why not send the entirety of my army to decimate Aelius and his pack during Chapter 1? Because then the story couldn't have happened. Kiya was the newest weekly boss. Due to her crowd control mechanics and damage over time, players had complained about her difficulty level, even though she had the lowest HP out of any boss so far, so I couldn't imagine the whining had Selene tagged along. I had to send him to quell a rebellion in a small village as an excuse.

"...ah. We're heading to that village."

"Hm?" I glanced at him from the corners of my eyes.

Selene raised his eyebrows. "So you were listening."

"Yes. Sure thing. Do you mean the village you tyrannically silenced?"

"...uhh..."

Translation: I was unable to silence them. I helped them in secret. I ought to find a way to not go to that village, except it's meant as a rest stop for players, so there is, quite literally, no way around it unless we climb the terrain surrounding it, but how could I possibly convince her to do so? She'll just get suspicious. I have to think of something.

"Let me scout the area," Selene said. "I've heard the bandit raids have gotten out of control."

His excuses really could use some work. Bandits? On the outskirts of the imperial city? He might as well have taken a piss on its flag, but I granted him leniency. "Have fun."

Selene took off. He looked like a wraith among all the gems encrusted at the sides of the mountain path. If not for the boulder-sized emeralds, rubies and other such junk, these hills would've been nothing but clay with mildly distinct elevations. To avoid the obvious logistical question of 'wouldn't NPCs just mine it', devs added a mechanic in which touching the 'wrong' gem could lead to various status effects. 

One of my favorite punishments had been to send dissenters to this mountain to roll downhill and live with the consequences for a week, after which, if they hadn't begged for pardon yet, they'd be guided to a recovery spring... which just so happened to be right next to the boss. Speaking of which, I could spare him a visit.

A white dot emerged at the horizon, which evolved into a boy with a white cape with snowflakes that fell off it and dissolved. He didn't teleport to buy the villagers more time. Ah, the poor thing. Time to play along. "No bandits?" I asked, once he'd approached enough.

Selene fell to his knees, panting. Now that was acting. "N-no... Lu... Lucine is..."

"The priestess."

"She's gone mad."

"The demure and self-sacrificing priestess."

"She..." he collapsed, which was when I finally noticed the status effect: antimagic.

A light magic spell, used against high-level fiends by players... but who was to say one couldn't use it against people, too? Slinging an unconscious Selene over my shoulder, I headed towards the village.