The Metachapter

According to my calculations with over 650 million resident Thropians and an average lifespan of about 30 years there would be roughly 20 million births and 20 million deaths every year. I knew that about a thousand of my subordinates were tasked with overseeing those souls passage through Heaven, Hell and the whole reincarnation cycle. That would give the average angel 20 thousand a year or 55 souls a day to deal with. That should be multiplied by two since one soul would be born and another would die in its place.

I heard the Fallen Angels would take over any soul damned to Hell. I was unclear how much time was saved in Heavens’ angels schedules due to this. In the end those numbers were rough estimates. I imagine there would be spikes in soul traffic whenever there were some natural or supernatural disasters, large battles. I guess a mad wizard could alter fertility and libido of a large amount of population resulting in a sudden baby boom.

My rough estimates were confirmed by Archie. Apparently angels that dealt with death were called Death Angels. The angels that dealt with births had no distinct name for their group. Then there were those that guarded the Heavens and several key locations like the Dimensional Boundary – Guardian Angels. The angels that took part in wars against outsider threats were called War Angels, but most angels were tasked with preparing themselves for warring, so I found the name kind of redundant. There were hardly any “pure” soldiers among them. Several hundreds were taking care of daily affairs of the world. Though it was mostly clerical jobs tied with the Throne of Thrope. Apparently angels rarely showed up down there, even to the clergy or saints. Finally there were angles doing odd jobs and crafting various things.

Archie explained few more things of how everything worked as well as told how I could use the Divinity. Over the next month I have familiarized myself briefly with my new body, my new job and my new angelic hometown. I wasn’t able to meet any angels for more than a few moments as Archie asked me not to put any extra and unnecessary burdens on their shoulders. Honestly I had an inkling that it was Archie running things and not me. I wonder why it wasn’t her that became a goddess instead.

I have looked through the mortal realms, but quickly lost interest. It was unimaginable to put myself into shoes of those ant-sized mortals. Besides it started to feel like stalking some strangers I did not care or know anything about. While my mind was already wasted with Earth’s porn I didn’t feel like peeking at maidens bathing.

Finally I have located myself a library filled with all the books ever written by mortals. Or at least that was what it said on the door arch. “Every book through all of the eternity”. The plaque on the wall inside said otherwise. Many a book were destroyed with each fall of the Heavens in some unfortunate Eras of Strife. The library was far from complete, but definitely the best on Thrope.

I learned some basic knowledge about non-divine magic. Apparently my new body was absorbing mana furiously so I tried a few spells. My enthusiasm for learning kind of died down when I found out I could easily learn all the spells with just a Throne command. The only downside was I could never learn their intricacies or cast them better than their original casters recorded. I made sure I knew some appropriate ones for my vast mana pool.

First cast of such a spell would feed off my divinity, but every subsequent would use mana instead. The amount of Divinity was small enough to regenerate almost instantly, even without any worshippers. It was basically free of charge unless I overdid it and wanted to learn an entire spellbook in one sitting.

Similarly I could grant myself any skill of any Thropian provided that I had the prerequisities for it. I could not breath dragon fire because there were no fire glands in my throat. I guess I could modify my body a bit further anyway.

I am pretty sure with enough computing I could design a more compact hemoglobin. An oxygen carrier molecule that would carry at least an order of magnitude more oxygen. Shame I did not bring any chemistry books with me though. If my theory was right the Throne could also act as a supercomputer. As long as I learned or stole the code of computational chemistry..

With more oxygen in my blood I would be able to maintain high muscle work output for longer or hold breath for more than 3 minutes.

Since the library was lacking in such resources (believe me I have checked. Lazy predecessor otherworlders haven’t brought a single book on that topic! Meanwhile they brought silly stuff like “Customizing your toilet in 1001 ways” or ”Rice Diet – U really don’t need any other food” (sic!) ) I had to resort to local books and samples of various races or even monster blood.

Out of those the Divine Blood looked the most optimal choice. It was optimal for now, but I suspected it could be further optimized. It would work with the rest of the changes I had myself go through pretty well. I decided to go through it.

I improved several other small things and trained in Heavens against some dummies. It’s not like I had any real opponents though. Everyone was freaking busy. I felt as I was not really needed around here.

Learning from books or dummy fighting is comparatively inefficient. Especially self-learning. Sure, I could artificially increase my comprehension and ability to memorize the contents almost perfectly, but the wisdom wouldn’t truly be mine. Practice is what makes knowledge one’s strength. Even though the enemies or problems in general that I was going to dace down there were quite trivial in comparison with god-level ones that could eventually pour from other dimensions like a flood. Of course other-dimensional (that is beyond Thrope’s dimension) threats could also be trivial, but as the main caretaker of the Thrope I really couldn’t take chances.

Alas, again I am digressing and straying too far from the topic.

My words were directed to my archangel that I have summoned before me. I was slowly starting to convince her. I had already convinced myself with those words, which was half of the success. Isekai adventure here I come!

..

It was yesterday that I decided on having an isekai holiday adventure. Yesterday for the lack of a better word. The time in Heavens did not flow exactly the same as in the world below. There was no sunrise nor sunset, which truly upset my daily rhythm.

It was just a thought. I realized I am currently in a fantasy world and could descend onto it and play an VR MMORPG Isekai Hero Summoning at any time. There were monsters, magic, adventurers, valiant knights and beautiful maidens! This was a geek’s paradise incarnate. I realized it wasn’t really virtual, but real instead. I knew hacking and slashing or even raising hefty sword would be painful initially for an unfit recluse like me. Still the allure of getting isekaied, even if realized by my own hand (Hand of God!), was, well, alluring.

How would I go about this? I was genre-savvy enough to point out a few “necessary” things. I started writing them down on coarse grain paper scrolls.

I have marked those I have failed with [x] and those I have managed to already achieve as [√].

ISEKAI MUST-DO’s & DON’T’s!

First the protagonist origins!

[X] Must have a bland, baby face and no character on his own [Easy-peasy difficulty]

[X] Must be Japanese, black hair and eyes

[X] Must have worked in a black company for at least 12 hours a day

or

[X] Alternatively be a high-school student

or

[X] a NEET

Yeah. I have pretty much failed with my “grey” company wageslaving. Thankfully no more than 8 hours a day. If I had the money I would definitely become a NEET. I am no Japanese either. I think they messed up this summoning.

[X] Killed by Truck-kun.

Yeah. Nope. I did not even die. I was kidnapped, both body and soul. There should be other acceptable scenarios like getting stabbed by some murder-hobo, suicide or the likes.

Second the summoning!

[√] Summoned by someone of high standing like [Easy]:

      [X] A royal (preferably a princess)

      [X] High priestess

      [X] Goddess

[√] Enslaved or tricked to do dirty work also known as Most Holy Quest [Common]

[  ] Picked due to his/her extraordinary qualities [Yeah difficulty]

I really wanted to believe that last thing. I think it was a really bad luck. All my life I was unlucky. Why would it change now? Oh Me, I am going to fail this isekai soooo badly.

Also being summoned by an old dude god instead of a cute goddess.. I want my refund.

Third the OPness!

Basically the protagonist must be so overpowered (OP in short), even demons and dragons would be awed and kneel before him/her.

I wanna be the very best.

Like no one ever was.

To catch them harem members..

OK, never mind that, I forgot the rest.

Furthermore this general idea could be divided into smaller tasks:

[  ] Become a Hero! [Unlikely]

     [√] Become a God! [Impossible, hell difficulty]

I mean, how does one reach the status/class of a Hero? You guessed it. You need to be summoned as a Hero.. On second thought I have failed it already. Or rather skipped it entirely and became a god. I decided to mark this point as failed with no hope of redemption.

[  ] Be the main character! The Protagonist! World should revolve around me! [5 star difficulty]

Got a bad feeling about that point. Probably just after coming down I will meet a charismatic blonde hero that will steal a girl I have a crush on and shame me publicly. Speaking of that I should also get some..

[X] Cheats! Also known as New Life Bonus [Automatic?]

[X] Have a System [33% difficulty]

[X] Unique skills [Staple difficulty]

[  ] Most useless skill being very powerful in hands of isekai protagonist [Useless difficulty]

[√] Steal skills from others [That’s Cheating difficulty]

[√] Linguistical Autotranslation [You Don’t Have It Already Noob? difficulty]

Wait. Who is going to give me cheats if the old god had already left?! Seriously. Thankfully I could learn skills and magic with the help of Throne of Thrope. No cheats unfortunately. Only cheating skills recorded are those for cheating hazard games etc. Not really what I had in mind.

[  ] Become a wizard while not becoming a wizard [Half Way There, Be Careful, Traveller difficulty]

[  ] Able to cast all magic types [currently 3/X – Nightmare difficulty]

[  ] Invent new magic [3 Michelin stars]

[  ] Cast everything without chanting [You Even Own a Manual for That difficulty]

I could cast some spells from the Divine, Throne and Light schools already. Long way ahead of me. I don’t even know how many types of magic are there. As for the former task.. I am already a wizard, but the possibility of becoming the second type of wizard is also looming over the horizon. I will try to avoid it, but I’m not going to disregard my principles. So no going to bordellos. Unless there were really pretty elves there. Or catgirls. Damn it, stop it, brain.

[  ] Get a Harem of girlfriends [I guess]

There are also following staples of isekai protagonist:

[√] Identify and various analytical spells [Elementary, my Dear Watson difficulty]

[√] Teleport [Archmage level difficulty]

[  ] Inventory (item storage) [Sage difficulty]

The two former ones I already had thanks to Throne and the latter - I guess I could somehow set it up with the Teleport to and from Heaven function of the Throne.

[ ] Remain low profile! [See difficulty below]

     [  ] ..and fail (spectacularly) at doing so.. [See difficulty above]

We will see about that. After all both points are very common in isekai. Often at the same time.

[  ] Use the knowledge from Earth to [Moderate difficulty]:

     [  ] Get rich quick

     [  ] Solve the unsolvable problems

     [  ] Awe the population

     [  ] “Invent” remarkable inventions

Well that should be easy. I will make a computer! I will make a gun! I will make an automated factory! I will make an atomic bomb! I should also spread Earth’s cuisine! Especially Japanese food.

Speaking of Earth..

[  ] Remain secretive about your Earthling background, for the sake of being secretive [Agent James Stock difficulty]

[X] Share with the backwaterish peasants the Earth’s glorious [Sleazy difficulty]:

     [X] Culture

     [X] Societal norms, ideologies and morals, like feminism, communism, totalitarism, capitalism..

Well most of those thing did not really work out on Earth, did they? That’s why I have marked them as failed. How do those points fall under the “OPness” category? They don’t. I guess I have run out of things to write under that, so now..

Fourth the Adventuring Career Path!

[  ] Register as an adventurer at local adventurer’s guild

     [  ] Get picked on by some villainous adventurers on the first visit

          [  ] Beat the shit out of them

     [  ] Reach maximum available rank

[  ] Make an adventuring party

     [  ] Smug female elf,

     [  ] Beastkin

          [  ] Catgirl, preferably

     [  ] Human

     [  ] Old and powerful loli

     [  ] Basically only females and me in the party

Balanced classes or roles of party members are for noobs. The party should be all-female with the exception of me. Though it’s not like I could get along with so many girls on their periods..

Now that I think about it, if slavery is a thing a protagonist should:

[  ] Buy a slave

     [  ] Make a slave a part of the harem.. I mean party

          [  ] Make slave love you due to good treatment, better than how other masters treat their slaves

Now this is heartless. I guess there are plusses of getting a slave you can order around like an NPC hireling, but I don’t think I would be okay with treating one as such.

Other miscellaneous adventurer things:

[  ] Slaying a dragon

Are there even dragons here? I guess there are.

[  ] Conquering a dungeon

[  ] Becoming a dungeon master

[  ] Defeating a demon lord

Hopefully the latter is impossible to achieve due to the dimensional barrier remaining strong enough.

[  ] Do training montage (including nonsensical training)

[  ] Explore ruins of long-lost but awesome civilization

[  ] Get a castle,

     [  ] Mansion,

     [  ] Humble home,

     or

     [  ] At least a room in an inn

I have, like a room in Heavens. Does it count?

Yup that should be it. I will assign more difficulties tomorrow.

What else?

All isekais should have an overly long title. Maybe I should figure out what is the name of the isekai I am in?

"Getting reincarnated as a god in the new world except there's no fun"

Maybe I should be more specific?

"Getting reincarnated as a god in the new world except you're still level 1 crook and apocalypse is coming"

Yup. That’s the one probably.

There were so many more points to add. By the end of the evening, actually not evening, the day cycle is not activated in Heavens, so simply by the time I got sleepy again the pages of notes have filled the room. I decided to bind them into a booklet.

Good night!