The Sensation of Blooming

Hazuki was fifteen now. His growth spurts had slowed but he was well above his classmates in height. After months of negotiating with his grandparents, his hair had grown out into an unkempt state. A reserved awkwardness and puberty’s ongoing chemical revolution within his body had turned his demeanor inward. Now he walked with his shoulders pulled forward and his head down. The flowers around him were the only thing that pulled his gaze up from the earth. February arrived and an unfamiliar sensation began to grow in his chest.

It had been harder than he’d planned to make friends in the new school, so most of his time was spent alone. Yet amid that simplistic solitude, thoughts of a specific girl continued to drift into his mind on occasion. Emerging desires and evolving perceptions had reformed his memories of her so that now he found himself sometimes pondering the shape of her lips and the way her neckline secretly vanished into her kimono’s collar. Beyond this unfamiliar physical attraction that had snuck into his boyish mind, his emotions also seemed to desire her company.

Now, as February banished January, Hazuki found himself walking through the enormous plum grove every day, going well out of the way for his route to and from school so that he could wait for Naoe’s arrival. Today was another day she was not yet there. The plum tree buds had not yet bloomed. Barren trees with hints of life soon arriving were all that lined his walk as he made his way home in silence. Hazuki accepted defeat for the day and exited the park towards his grandparents’ home.

Life with his grandparents was simple and pleasant. They were moderately regimented as common for someone of their age but were not overly strict. Modest pension income and government support kept them fed and warm, but concepts like current trending clothing or fancy computers were out of the question for Hazuki. His new glasses were simple and didn’t fit his face shape, but they were on sale. His blue jeans and hanten had a few stitched areas to mend tears from steady wear. Hazuki didn’t mind.

“Life’s hard for everyone these days,” was a common saying of his grandparents as they looked out at the changing world that was almost unrecognizable to the postwar world they had been born into.

Indeed the world had changed significantly, even in Hazuki’s life. Things were expensive, jobs only paid moderately well from what he’d seen, everyone seemed older, and more and more people seemed uninterested in traditions or nature. That was another reason he felt Naoe’s kimono and presence in the plum groves were intriguing to him.

Naoe seemed as though she’d been transported into that world from another that no longer existed. Even her accent was different, so much so that he wondered if she was from further south or far away in the north. This was what Hazuki was thinking of as he wiped down the houseplants. His grandfather made his way into the living room to join him.

“You seem deep in thought,” said his grandfather.

“I was thinking about a girl,” Hazuki replied without thinking.

He blushed as soon as he realized what he’d said.

“Really?” asked his grandfather with a smirk.

“Well, not just about a girl, but about how some things change and some don’t.”

“All things change, even in a place like Japan. All things change and are impermanent, just like the seasons. Change may come slowly, but it still happens. That’s Mujo.”

“I guess. But what if I don’t like change?” asked Hazuki.

“Well, it’ll likely put you out of sync with the world around you. Accepting change and impermanence will let you move through life more easily. But remember that you are also a form of change, and when necessary, you can help change things yourself.”

Hazuki laid on the floor and watched the ceiling fan hang unused. Once again, his thoughts drifted to Naoe.

That night, his dreams were full of color and sound. Hazuki dreamt he was in a field surrounded by spider lilies. He started as a child and grew into a young man, then an adult, then an old man, then back to a child. The cycle repeated and repeated as he walked through the field of red.

In another dream, red maple leaves hung in the air; weightless and never falling. Only when Hazuki touched them did they fall.

Then, lastly, Hazuki dreamt he was undressed in a forest of cedar saplings. The saplings were small at first, not much bigger than he was. Hazuki walked through their dense embrace, exposed and vulnerable, save for a necklace of flowers that hung down his chest. He did not cover himself as he walked. Something pulled him forward. The saplings hardened and began to grow into adulthood. Hazuki continued inward until a single plum blossom appeared before him. Its flowering buds bloomed and fell in seconds, repeating indefinitely in a slow rhythm as he walked forward. There at the base of the tree was Naoe, lying among the blooms.

By now the cedars were fully grown and covered in evergreen leaves. Hazuki and Naoe met the other's gaze from afar and did not look away. Hazuki reached Naoe and crawled into the flowers with Naoe. Roots rose from the ground and began to bind them together as one then pull them into the earth. Naoe’s fingers touched the necklace of flowers and slowly slid it over his head, leaving him fully exposed. She began to submerge into the cool earth. Her lips parted as though to speak, and that was it.

Hazuki awoke from his feverish dream and immediately felt something warm in the bed with him. Embarrassment rushed through him as his hand went to his undergarments and he realized he was the origin of the warm substance that was now causing the fabric to cling to his leg.

“Awwwwwwwww, great!” moaned Hazuki as he eased out of bed, taking care not to smear any residue onto his sheets.

There was a knock at the door. It was his grandmother.

“Hazuki? Are you up?” she asked.

“Ohhhhh yeah. I’m up!” he replied as he ripped the shameful clothing from his body.

“Ack! Uggggghhh this is gross,” he murmured as wrapped himself in his bathrobe and ran out his door into the bathroom.

Confusion, arousal, humiliation, curiosity, longing, and shame all broiled through Hazuki as he ran through the grove an hour later. Distraction had made him almost miss that the blooms had begun to open on the plum trees. And to his elation and terror, there was Naoe, still in her kimono, still by her tree.

“Naoe!” shouted Hazuki, unable to stop himself.

Naoe saw him and smiled a genuine smile. Her eyes closed as she laughed and waved her arms towards him in greeting.

“Hazuki! You’re even taller! And your hair!” she said as he came to a stop before her.

“You’re still the same! You look as pretty as ever!” said Hazuki without thinking.

‘Nice one idiot!’ he thought to himself as she blushed and crossed her fingers before her.

“You’re more forward!” she laughed.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean it! I mean I did! I mean I didn’t mean to upset you or embarrass you! I’m just happy to see you!” rambled Hazuki.

‘WHAAAAAATTT ARE YOU DOING YOU NUTCASE?!’ he screamed internally.

Naoe smiled and Hazuki felt himself wanting to step closer towards her.

“How have you been?” he asked in an attempt to save the conversation from awkward annihilation.

“I’ve been good. How about you?” she answered.

“I’ve been decent. I’m at a new school.”

“How’s that?”

“It’s school. I’m not too interested in most of my classes. Except Botany. I’m taking it as a club so I’m getting to spend a lot of time with plants and trees!”

“That’s very nice. And that sounds like a lovely club,” Naoe replied.

Hazuki remembered asking her about school years ago then regretfully realized he’d never asked her about it again. He didn’t even know how old she was or what grade she was in. Or how she could randomly travel in the middle of the final term each year.

“How is school going for you? Or have you graduated?” he asked.

Naoe paused and measured her words for the briefest of moments. Hazuki almost didn’t notice, but he saw her expression change for an instant.

“I… graduated. So my February and March is probably much less stressful than yours!” she replied in attempted jest.

“Nice! So you must be like… eighteen or nineteen?” asked Hazuki.

“Eighteen,” replied Naoe.

“I’m fifteen now,” said Hazuki.

“Catching up to me,” smirked Naoe.

They stood there smiling to one another and Hazuki realized he didn’t want to leave.

“You’ll be here tonight, right?” he asked.

She glanced at him in curiosity.

“I never know how long you’ll be here. So I’m going to take it day by day this year,” he said.

“You’ve been thinking about this…”

“Yes. I enjoy seeing you and wanted to spend more time with you this year if I could. So, will you be here tonight?” asked Hazuki.

Naoe nodded.

“Then would… would you like to do something with me tonight?” asked Hazuki.

This seemed to take Naoe by surprise. Her head turned to him slightly and they met eyes once again.

“Do something with you?” she repeated.

“If it’s something you’d want. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, or if you’re busy I understand! And I don’t want to make it weird like we can’t hang out regularly like this. I don’t want to mess that up, but I’d just like to-” his words were getting away from him in the excitement of asking. 

So much so that he almost couldn’t stop talking.

Mercifully, Naoe answered to stop him.

“I’d enjoy that… I’ll see you after school…”